Todays writing assignment is to write a letter. We have several choices to choose from. I am going to write a letter to my brother’s dad. My brother’s dad is the one the severally abused me as a child. For my abusers “protection” I am going to call him “D.” I know he doesn’t deserve protection. I will be calling my brother Jay in this letter. In fact some people do call him Jay. I am writing this letter to ultimately help me in my healing process.

Dear D,                                                      Thursday, September 17, 2015

I am pretty sure you don’t remember me but I sure in the hell remember you. I remember how you forced me to “have sex” with you at the age of nine for the first time. I remember how you use to sell me to others so they can have “their fun” with me. I remember how you would spike my drinks with alcohol and sometimes drugs. I remember how you would give me home baked goodies with a variety of drugs in them. You did this so  I wouldn’t fight back or scream when you r*p*d me. You made sure my mom was passed out drunk and/or high when you brutally r*p*d me. I remember when Jay was born. You weren’t there because you were in jail. I remember when you got out, you gave mom a ton of drugs so she wouldn’t know what you were doing to me. You put me in a position at the age of 11 that nobody should be put in. You made me choose to either have Jay get abused and have me watch and then get r*p*d myself or have me take his abuse along with mine which made it a hundred times worse. Me being the only sister by 11 years, I am of course going to make sure Jay wouldn’t get abused. How dare you abuse anyone especially your on child. Most importantly how dare you put an 11 year old to make a decision like that. How could you abandon your own disabled son at the age of one? I am beyond angry with you. I wish I could type more but I need to end this letter for the sake of my own mental health. I just wish I didn’t have to re-experience all the shit you did to me 25 plus years later. I need to stop this letter. You are a fucken asshole.

Gertie

Thanks for reading my letter. This was a tough assignment for me to do. I have a lot more to say to D but for my own mental health I had to end it. Yes, I will be okay. Thankfully, I have Junior by my side to help me through. Have a good night and peace out all!!