Sleepy Sunday Morning Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! I meant to blog yesterday about my first shift as a shelter counselor however I slept most of the day due to my shift being twelve hours at night. I was planning on doing it last night but I was still a little groggy from working and trying to take in my first shift and couldn’t find the words to write about my first shift. I still can’t find the right words for my first shift. I could have attempted to post about my first shift sometime during the middle of the night as I didn’t sleep on purpose so I can sleep today as I work tonight.

As I sit here blogging I am watching the morning news as I wait for my sleeping meds to kick in. I just want to get enough sleep today so my shift doesn’t go as slow as it did Friday night going into Saturday as I didn’t sleep at all on Friday. I am not sure if watching the news is the greatest idea before going to bed as the news can be quite triggering to fall asleep. The news can trigger my PTSD which could cause no sleep at all.

Before I go, I want to remind everyone who reads my blog that I have advertisements on it so I can earn some extra money. The only way I can earn extra money from the advertisements is if you my reader click onto the advertisement. Each click of the advertisements gives me a few extra cents to my name. The extra money I earn from the advertisements will help me pay for gifts when the holidays come up in December. So I hope you click on the advertisements so I can earn a few extra cents so I am able to buy gifts for people to give to people during the holidays.

I should get going and try to relax so I can get to sleep so I can function at work tonight when I do a twelve hour night shift. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I hope to blog before going to work tonight but no promises. I also hope to attempt to blog tomorrow about my job but I don’t know how tired I will be.

I hope everyone has a good restful Sunday. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

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Getting Ready For My First Shift

Good Evening, World!!! I start my first shift as an on call shelter counselor tonight. I will be doing a shadowing shift tonight. I am nervous about it because it is a twelve hour shift at night. I am also having anxiety over it because I have had much sleep today.

In all honesty I am having more anxiety over when my second shift is going to be due to me not knowing when it is going to be happening. According to my supervisor I need to do three shadowing shifts counting the one I am doing tonight. We briefly discussed it the past Monday (October 1st) but never confirmed the days. I just don’t want to miss a shift and get into trouble for not attending a shift. I did email my supervisor both yesterday as well as today. In fact my last email to my supervisor was less than a half an hour ago.  I think I’ll text and/or email him tomorrow after my shift to inform him how it we and to ask about my next shift once again.

I know I am having anxiety over something I cannot control. I just want to make sure the next time I work that I get enough sleep especially since my shifts our twelve hours long and at night. I am sure my supervisor will let me know in time when my second shift will be so I can get enough sleep.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope to let you know more about my shift at some point tomorrow. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday to each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Hump Day Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! Happy Hump (Wednesday) Day!!! I woke up extremely early this morning due to a fucking nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep. I have attempted many times since waking up to post but am finally in a space to be able to do so.

Just like this morning, I didn’t have a good morning yesterday. In fact my day yesterday (Tuesday) was shitty. I woke up yesterday with strong urges to self harm which I did NOT act on. I thankfully had an appointment my doctor and I was noticeably upset which is rare for my doctor to witness. We discussed the issues of self harm and did a safety plan before we called my therapist. Surprisingly, he picked up and the three of us talked. We decided that I would go see my therapist yesterday for an unexpected session.

When I attended my unexpected session yesterday, my therapist and I spent an hour and a half talking about what the hell was going on with me. We discussed self harm issues of course.  We also discussed how a combination of the grief with my grandma and the stress of starting a new job which could be causing the high urges to self harm. During our unexpected session yesterday we both agreed that me coming in today for my regularly scheduled appointment would be very much needed.

So, when I woke up this morning with a nightmare, I also woke up feeling suicidal and having urges to self harm. So that is when I called the after hours crisis line I am able to call when I am in a crisis. As I talked with the woman on the other end who knows me well, we discussed ways to keep myself safe till I see my therapist later this morning. So, yes, I can keep myself safe till I talk with my therapist and come up with another safety plan with him during our appointment.

Another thing that is keeping me from self harm and dying by suicide is that I have a training I need to be at for work this evening. So, working is actually helping me with keeping myself safe from myself.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I am grateful for all of you because you read my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

(SIDE NOTE: I will NOT attempt to die by suicide and I will NOT harm myself.)

Friday Night Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Friday to everyone out there reading my blog. It is hard to believe that I will have my first shift a week from today. I am looking forward to it. The one thing that I am not looking forward to this next week is all the orientations I have to attend. In fact I have about twelve orientations I have to do within the first sixty days of employment. I am having some high anxiety over the new job but I am looking forward to it at the same time.

As much as I would like to blame the lack of sleep as of lately due to new job jitters, it is not the case. I haven’t been sleeping very well as of lately. In fact worse than usual for me. Enough for my psychiatric nurse practitioner and regular doctor to consider putting me in a sleep study.

I am not sure about the sleep study but I think I am going to call it a night even though it is only eight thirty in the evening in my corner of the world. Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

No Zzz’s In Seattle

Hello, World!!! It is just a few minutes after two in the morning in my corner of the world. I am unable to sleep and it is starting to piss me off. I think it is pissing me off more than usual that I can not sleep because my health insurance company is being a butthead in regards to covering my new sleep med. I don’t think it is too much to ask to look over a piece of paper that was faxed over last week on two different occasions. It is just infuriating as hell when one is waiting on a decision that could effect one’s health and mental health.

On a plus note Lil Gertie successfully took most of her meds to treat her asthma and allergies. Granted it wasn’t the full dose but at least it was most of it. So far she hasn’t had any coughing attacks since taking the meds. I am hoping that the meds are working as I love Lil Gertie. She has become family and I don’t want to loose her. I know asthma is treatable it just worries me.

I know all this worrying isn’t helping with the insomnia and I am hoping that with posting about it, that it could be helpful for me to get some sleep. Sleep that is much needed if I am to remain healthy myself.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. I think I am going to attempt getting some sleep once again. Your readership is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Worries of the Night

Hello, World!!! It is now twelve thirty in the morning in my corner of the world. I am still up due to watching late night television. Late night television helps me deal with life in general especially today. I say this because Lil Gertie has given me a couple of days due some coughing episodes and today’s coughing episodes were scary and worrisome. So, I took her to the vet. The vet diagnosed her with allergies and mild asthma even though the vet didn’t hear wheezing. She determined the mild asthma diagnosis by watching the two videos I took of Lil Gertie’s coughing attacks. The vet, Dr. B, said I did the right thing with the videos.

Another thing that I am worried about is the sleeping meds and my health insurance being slow to approve the pre-authorization for it. It is tough to be dealing with lack of sleep but am grateful for what little sleep I do get especially when I don’t have anything to help with it.

I do not have much more to say. I think I am going try to get some shut eye. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night. Peace Out, World!!!

Wednesday Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I did end up getting some sleep last night. I got about three hours even though it is still not enough sleep, I will take any sleep I can. I hope the sleeping med situation with my insurance company is taken care of soon.

I don’t have anything planned for today. It is a see what comes up type of day. I do know that I will need to get out of my apartment at some point because if I don’t it might turn into one of them days. I don’t know why it feels like but it does.

I am excited about my new job even though I don’t know when my first shift will be. I hope it is soon. I am not sure if I like everything about it. The reason why is because it is at night and is a twelve hour shift. But the thing about it is, is that it is only one to two days a week.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I appreciate everyone who reads my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Again, thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!