Go To Hell 2015

It is the last day of 2015. Actually there is four hours left of 2015 and have been wanting the year to be over with since Monday, January 12, 2015. 2015 has not been the best of years for me.

It hasn’t been the best of years for me for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is that I miscarried a set of twins on Monday, January 12, 2015. It was an extremely tough loss. In fact it still is. Loosing a child is the most difficult thing a person can experience. I say this because its true. It’s even more difficult than the on going abuse that I suffered as a child. Some people might disagree with the previous sentence and I am okay with that. I’m okay with people disagree with my sentence because they cant argue with my experience and how difficult it is for me because they haven’t lived my life.

As I look back on 2015, I realize it might have been one of the most difficult years I have lived but I have a great deal to be grateful for. I have a job that I love. I have people who love and care about me even if I feel like I do not deserve it. Most importantly, I am engaged to a wonderful man who loves me with all his heart. Having a supportive man like Junior in my life has been quite helpful with my recovery.

As I end my last post of 2015, I want to thank you for reading and/or following my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I wish each one of you a very Happy New Year and may 2016 bring you all that you desire and dream. Be safe out there as you bring in the New Year. Please don’t drink and drive. AND GO TO HELL 2015!!!!

 

Fearful of Forgetting My Babies

Good morning!!! It has been quite some time since I have blogged. I have been struggling a great deal with not only my depression but the grief and loss of the miscarriage I suffered at the beginning of this year. Unfortunately, the grief & loss triggered a major onset of my depression symptoms.

It is because my symptoms are getting worse and the sorrow of the miscarriage not lifting that my therapist and I are going to start working on grief. We are going to be reading the book On Grief & Grieving: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D & David Kessler. I am still hesitant. I am hesitant because I am afraid if work on my grief or accept that the miscarriage happen that I am going to forget my babies. I am hoping that the book that my therapist and I read and discuss on grief will help. I feel like I am all alone. After I read the book On Grief & Grieving  I am hoping that if it helps that I can find a book specific to grief on miscarriage. If any of you have suggestions it would be much appreciated.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend!! Peace Out!!