Category Archives: PTSD

A Mixture of Middle of the Night Emotions & Ideas

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from Seattle and it is still the middle of the middle of the night here in Seattle. In fact as I write this blog, my cat Billie is purring on my lap. I am technically on crisis coverage till eight in the morning Seattle time and will complete my crisis coverage.

On that note there is a family emergency regarding my grandpa and thankfully my uncle is taking care of it till I am off of crisis coverage at eight o’clock this morning Seattle time. I did let the appropriate people know at work about it however I totally remembered I can deal with my family emergency while finishing up my much needed notes. I will send the email about catching up on notes while helping my grandpa once I know my supervisors are awake and aware of the situation regarding my grandpa. Either way I most like will do my notes, I just want to be able to get paid for them but like I mentioned before I want to make sure the supervisors are made aware that I will being finishing my crisis coverage shift and missing my regular shift and will bring up the idea of seeing if I can get paid catching up on notes while dealing my grandpa’s emergency. I am so grateful that my uncle is currently dealing with my grandpa’s emergency as I am crisis coverage for work right now.

Right now, I am struggling with some intense emotions regarding my mental health challenges. Specifically my depression and PTSD which both suck shit.Since doing mindfulness meditation appears to help my mental health symptom help a great deal, it is one of the skills I go to first. The next thing I plan on doing is doing something creative. I plan on doing both arts at crafts. The art I plan on doing is art work by coloring and doing diamond art. When it comes to diamond art I will have to sort some stuff out which is cool. As far as crafting goes, I will be doing some cross stitching. I love being able to use my self care to help with my recovery.

I just hope when I email my supervisors again later that they will allow me to work on my notes and still get paid for it as help my grandpa with his emergency. My work is not one hundred okay with me right now but that is okay as I know I am doing the best I can. At least they treat me with respect.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early To Be Awaken on My Weekend

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! As I start this particular post it is exactly 3:45 in the blasted morning on a Friday morning in Seattle. A Friday that is considered my weekend as Friday’s and Saturdays are my weekend. It is too early to be up this early during my weekend and it sucks shit. I woke up due to the fact of an extreme nightmare that consisted of body memories that make it feel like not just the most recent trauma happened but past traumas happened all at the same time. Having nightmares that include body memories are not the easiest thing to deal with especially so early in the morning.

Sadly, my PTSD symptoms are increasing my depression symptoms. Increased depression means that I have to be more intuned with myself regarding self harm urges as well as making sure that I don’t become suicidal. Thankfully, I am currently not suicidal. Sadly, I do have some self harm urges but at least they are at a manageable level. A level where I can create my own safety plan without the help of others such as friends or my mental health treatment team with the exception of my beloved cat, Billie as Billie helps a great deal with my safety planning.

I think I will start my safety plan with some mindfulness meditation to help me get into a better head space to help me with the rest of my safety plan.

As of right now, I think I will work on some artwork. Specifically, the artwork I will be working on is some coloring. Coloring is a great way to help me relax and focus on something creative that will help me do something more challenging to do when I am currently in the head space that I am currently in especially when I listen to music as I color. Music and coloring appear to be helpful together for me to refocus. So, I am hoping that as I color and listen to music with my cat laying by my side I can get into the mindset of reading a novel I am reading.

The novel I am currently reading is The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan. So, far it is keeping my attention especially when I am in an okay head space. I highly recommend the book. I am really enjoying this book and encourage you to read the book.

In all honesty I hope I can get back to sleep due to the insomnia that is caused by stupid ass PTSD symptoms and I really hope my safety plan will help with me falling back to sleep. At least I know my cat is quite helpful with helping me sleep.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it was not for you my reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday ahead of them. Peace Out, World.

A Middle of the Night Post Regarding Arts & Crafts

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in the United States of America. I am tired as hell and I am unable to get back to sleep. So, I decided to do a couple of mindfulness meditation practices which help a good portion of the time. I am also going to work on some Diamond Art which is quite fun but challenging at the same time.

Since the mindfulness meditation practice isn’t working this time around, I am listening to music while I am doing some arts and crafts.Art wise I am planning on doing tom coloring as it helps me be in a mindfulness type mind and keeps me focus. As far as the crafting part, I am going to do some cross stitching as well as some latch hooking. I am grateful that I can be creative when I am unable to sleep.

Sadly, I am unable to go to work tomorrow because of the lack of sleep I am having due to insomnia. Thankfully, my supervisor is super supportive. Having a great supervisor is a blessing.

i do not have much more to say in this blog post. Thank yo for reading my blog.

A Mental Health Day Focusing on a Self Care Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is just after ten evening Seattle time and realized that I have been doing some great self care due to the fact that my anxiety, depression and PTSD have been rearing its ugly head. It’s nothing I can’t handle with the help of my self care that I do on the regular basis.

One of the things I do is to do mindfulness meditation to help me keep grounded. Keeping grounded is a much needed thing for me and my anxiety as well my PTSD. Of course eating food on a regular basis is key to my mental health. Other things that help me with my self care is reading which the book I am is The Sorority Murder by Allison Brennan.Is is an awesome book and I am half through the book. I really enjoy the book. Another self care think I am doing is Sudoku. I love Sudoku. It helps keep my mind sharp. Something that helps me keep calm and at peace as well as given me some hope is music. Of course my cat helps me a great deal with keeping me calm. I don’t have much more to say as I am getting tired and and hungry. I need some food before getting some food. Good night world!

Brief Naps In Between Awakenings Due to Various Reasons

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having trouble sleeping for a variety of reasons. The two main reasons are due to Migraines and PTSD on top of having insomnia. All three suck equally as much, I just wish it wasn’t happening at the same time because I really want to be able to go to work tomorrow. At least I don’t have to be at work till 12:00 noon. I really love my job but I have missed a lot of it due to being sick or due to disability reasons. I just don’t want to miss another day of work especially since I am not past my sixth month probationary period even though I do most of my work on time especially my notes.

Since I have been having trouble sleeping due to PTSD, Insomnia and migraines, I have been cuddling with my cat, Billie as well as doing some art work. I have been doing some coloring which is a pretty semi easy part as it has some challenging aspects to it. As far as the Diamond art goes it appears to be simple but is more challenging than expected especially when you are just learning how to do it. I am enjoying the Diamond art despite being challenging at first.

Of course the art is helping with me being able to go back to sleep despite how short the sleep can be. Any amount of sleep is very appreciative on my end. Billie, my cat is quite helpful with my sleep.I think I am going to attempt to go back to sleep. I hope everyone has a good Monday ahead of you and enjoy your three day weekend.

Before ending this post if my insomnia, migraines and PTSD continue, I am going to ask if I can work a partial day from home and hope to use flex time for the rest of the day. Worst case scenario I call in sick which is most likely unlikely. But it is better to ask than not to ask because if I ask, I am more likely to get the answer I like than if I don’t ask. Well I do not have much more to say so thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling the Blah’s with Being Sick

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am feeling the blahs which usually happen when I am sick. On the plus note I am feeling better regarding being physically sick. Feeling better is always a good thing. Sadly, the one thing I wanted to do today was read but I was not able to concentrate and I am blaming my mental health symptoms on that.

On the plus note, I started doing my first diamond art. I knew it would be challenging and a lot of patients but it will be more challenging and required patients than at first thought. I spent about half an hour working on it before changing art genres to coloring. I love to color and spend more time on coloring than I did the diamond art. Of course while doing art work via coloring and diamond art, I listened to music. Music helps give me inspiration to be creative.

I am now going to take another nap and snuggle with my Billie. I want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!