Two Years of Blogging

Today, marks two years since I posted my first blog post. It’s hard to wrap my mind around that it has been two years already. In fact I am surprised with myself that I have stuck with blogging. I thought I would have given up on it for various of reasons. I could have multiple times and didn’t give up.

I could have given up when I miscarried. I could have given up when my mental illness reared it’s ugly head. I could have given up when I didn’t reach the amount of followers I think I should have by a certain time. I didn’t give up.

I didn’t give up because there is still stigma out there regarding mental illness. I didn’t give up because there are people out there still struggling with mental illness that needs to find hope. To find hope that recovery is possible. I didn’t give up because I have found out in the last two years of blogging that blogging helps me and helps me with my recovery. If fact I wasn’t even expecting it to be helpful for me. I didn’t give up because I have found a support system within the blogging community.

The blogging community has a sense of respect for each other that other social media does not. There is very little drama in the blogging community. There is some drama but it’s extremely rare and that is what I like. We all respect each other no matter the topic of our particular blog or post. We may not always agree with each other but we respect each other and our different opinions and point of views. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of an awesome community.

I need to be going. I need to get going and head for work.  Again, thank you for being so kind to me and allowing me to be me. Have a wonderful day and Peace Out!!

Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day!!! I hope everyone had a nice three day weekend. I didn’t exactly have a three day weekend because I worked today but it felt like I had one.

It felt like I had one because the office was closed which means the drop-in was closed and I didn’t have to see clients. I love my clients but am glad that I was to organize my office and catch up on paper work. My office needed a great deal of organizing and was able to have the time to do it and not to have to worry about getting interrupted by clients or meeting or some sort of other event.

Well, the day was interrupted by an event but it was a planned event. Those of us that went into work today had planned to have potluck bar-be-queue. It was nice to not be rushed through lunch. In fact it was a nice relaxing day at work and I got a great deal done. I got my office organized and started decorating it. I also got caught up on my all so lovely paper work.

I do owe much gratitude to those who paid the ultimate price for my freedom. If it wasn’t for them and all the women and men who fought for my freedom, I wouldn’t have been able to have the holiday to catch up on things at work.   Thank you to all you veterans, and the friends and family who lost loved ones in the wars. I am much grateful for all of you.

Now I am off to another Memorial Day celebration. Have a wonder full Memorial Day. Happy Memorial Day!! Peace out!!

Introduction: Junior

Hello! I want to introduce myself; I am Junior. I am Gertie’s fiancé. I was asked by Gertie to be a contributor of her blog from time to time. To share my experience on what it is like to be a partner and loved one of a person who struggles with a mental illness. I am not sure what exactly to say except that I love Gertie with all my heart, soul and mind.

My love for Gertie grows everyday and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Yes, it can be quite challenging at times when Gertie is in the height of a mental health relapse yet I have seen her grow in recovery over the last several years.

I first met Gertie when she had attempted suicide and my engine company as well as a Medic One Unit responded to the 911 call nearly sixteen years ago. Myself and the rest of the crew didn’t think she would make it. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only time I had responded to Gertie attempting suicide however over the last sixteen years I have seen Gertie grow in strides.

Gertie has been focused on her recovery for quite some time now. She has struggled some and despite her struggles she gets more determined with her recovery as well as more resilient.

As time goes on I will share my experiences with being a partner of someone who struggles with a mental illness and how I take care of myself in the process especially when Gertie is in a mental health relapse. Thankfully, she is not in a relapse at the moment.

I will be sharing my experience as a first responder and how as I first responder I interact with those who have a mental illness and in crisis. I hope to share more with you soon

Junior

An Idea or Two

Good morning, everyone!! Or at least it’s still morning for another twelve minutes in my neck of the woods. I have come up with an idea or two for my blog. As many of you know that I recently acquired a writers magazine that has fifty-two writing prompts for every week of the year starting in on the first Monday in June. You may know that I have decided that I am going to do the weekly writing prompts here on my blog for the next year (52 weeks) starting in June. Of course this is an idea that I have had for a week or two and that  may or may not be new to you.

The idea or two that are new to you is that I was thinking about doing a weekly check-in with you all. I would do this weekly check-in with you all on Friday evening or Saturday morning or afternoon. It is my hope to engage you my reader a little bit more as well as to let you all know how things are going with me. Part of the reason why I am wanting to do this is I am realizing I am not blogging as much as I would like to and this will help me with being more regular about blogging.

The other idea of the idea or two is to have contributors to my blog. They would be people in my support network. For instance, I have Junior my fiancé to be a contributor and he thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Another contributor would be a friend of mine who has taken me under her wing and is a second mother to me. In fact she has been more of a mom to me than my own mother. I call her my Mama Bear and that’s how I will refer to her by here on my blog. Anyway Junior and Mama Bear both think its an “awesome idea.” They will both be posting at least once a month and posting from the perspective of having a loved one that struggles with a mental illness. They might even give the perspective of being first responders and dealing with the public and those of the public who struggle with mental illness. I am hoping with having contributors that it will give my reader and/or follower a different perspective on the side of mental illness and how it effects them and the stigma they to deal with.  I am not sure when my contributors will start but I will inform you when they do.

Before I go I hope that you like the idea’s I have come up with to keep you my reader and/or follower to continue to want to read my blog. I know when other bloggers I follow don’t post much, I start to loose interest and I hope that you all aren’t loosing interest in my blog.

Well, it is now exactly 12noon. So have a good afternoon everyone. I hope you all have a good weekend and Peace Out!!

Happy Friday

Happy Friday!!! It’s the start of a three day weekend here in the United States of America (USA). Monday is Memorial Day.  Memorial Day is were we as Americans celebrate and remember those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom.

Freedom that I am grateful for. If it wasn’t for those who lost their lives as well as all the Veteran’s, I wouldn’t be able to have the choice to be in recovery with my mental illness. I would most likely be institutionalized and treated like shit. Because of the men and woman who fought for my freedom and paid the ultimate price I have a choice how my personal recovery looks like.

For me if my own personal recovery is why I am working as a Peer Specialist. In fact I am working on Monday even though I don’t have to. The reason why I am working is because they recently finished a remodel before I started my position and there is a great deal of stuff left in boxes that wasn’t unpacked by the person I replaced as well as by the person the recently left the job. So, I am cleaning up my office as well as catching up on notes. Technically, the office is closed so a lot of clinicians go into work to catch up paper work when there are no clients coming in. If we take the day off, the agency automatically takes out PTO hours which sucks but its a good day to catch up on things like paper work and organizing. The good thing about working on a holiday is I get to sleep in.

Memorial Day isn’t about sleeping in even though its a plus. It’s about remembering those who paid the ultimate price for my freedom. My freedom to be in recovery and to be able to work.

As I end this blog entry, I ask that each one of you take moment of silence to remember those who fought for our freedom. Have a wonderful weekend and Happy Memorial Day. Peace Out all!!

Daily Prompt: The Normal

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Normal.” Is being “normal” — whatever that means to you — a good thing, or a bad thing? Neither?

As you can tell, the past daily prompt I chose to do is about “normal” and whatever it means to me. Before I get to what “normal” means to me, I would like to give you the definition of “normal.” The definition of “Normal” according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary is: Adjective; usual or ordinary; not strange; mentally or physically healthy. According to the definition, I am not “normal” because I am not mentally healthy or at least that’s what I understand it to mean due to the fact of have a mental illness.

I see the definition of “Normal” to be what society thinks on how a person should look or act depending on age, trends and so on. An example of this particular definition of mine is: As a 37 year old woman, I should have at least a four year college education if not already having a Masters Degree or at least be working one by now. As 37 year old woman society says I should be married to the person I love and have children. I say that’s bullshit because society is not who says what “Normal” is. One normal is for me, may not be normal for me.

For me my “normal” is being able to work, weather its part time or full time. Granted I am working full time at the moment and realize that there might be a time in my life where I might need to work part time if I am struggling in a bad way with my mental illness. Another thing that is “normal” for me is seeking mental health services to maintain my recovery. I am sure as time goes on I won’t need as many mental health services as I do now and that will be my “normal” when it happens. “Normal” is always changing or at least that’s how I view it.

I also inform people that “normal” is a fantasy or that there is no such thing as “normal.” Some people say that “normal” is a setting on a dryer. “Normal” is defined by everyone differently so for me “normal” is neither good or bad, its what you view “normal” to be for you and only you.

Well, I best be going. I really need to go and eat something. For me eating regularly is “normal” and is a form of good self care. Have a good evening everyone. Peace Out!!

Getting the Groove of Things

As I sit here at my laptop, I realize how much I love to blog. I haven’t blogged as much as have liked in recent months for various reasons.

One of those reasons is that I now work fulltime as a peer specialist. It’s a job I love and am slowly getting in the groove of things especially since we have been short staffed. The colleague I told you about two or three entries ago decided to quit and quit in a way that left everyone in shock. He left a text with my bossing he quit. Ultimately, this colleague was let go (or fired) for job abandonment for not quitting in an appropriate way that my employer would be okay with. So, with one colleague no longer with the agency has left me and my other colleague short handed. Short handed in a way that is not very fun for anyone especially someone who is learning the ropes. So, I am ultimately trying to get the groove of things at work as well as my personal life with now working fulltime which I am loving.

At this point in time, I am slowly re-learning time management skill with working fulltime and good self-care with my personal life. A lot of the things I have been doing outside of work happens to be work related. I am starting to learn how to drive or will be in a week and a half. I was reading the drivers book to get a drivers permit. I need a drivers license for work. I’ve never needed one because I’ve always lived in a major city with public transpiration. I have also been working on getting my agency affiliated counselor licensure. So as you can tell I am needing to do good self-care.

Part of the good self-care thing for me is blogging. I am needing to find time to blog for a multitude of reasons besides it being good for my own self-care and recovery.  I am wanting to continue with the education part of my blog. The education part is a two part deal. The first part is education piece of my blog is to continue to share my story and show to those who don’t struggle with a mental illness that people who do struggle with one can recover and recover in their own way. The second piece of the education part of my blog is to post facts about mental illness and various diagnosis and treatments. I’ve been failing majorly on the fact part of the educational piece of my blog. As many of you already know if you read my blog regularly, I started my blog to not only educate others but to help others who struggle with a mental health diagnosis that recovery is possible and show that there is hope. Hope  that recovery is possible. Another thing that I have come to realize in the almost  two years of blogging is that it is helping me with my own recovery.

Another part of my recovery is that I like to write poems and short stories. Yesterday, while at the mall I went into a book store and bought some magazines. A couple of the magazines that I bought are geared toward writers and/or poets. One of the magazines has 52 writing prompts to do starting in June. One a week for a year and it reminded me of what WordPress does with it’s daily prompts. So, it is my hope that starting in June I will do the weekly writing prompts for a year. I think it would be fun to do and it is something I could also schedule to post so if I start to struggle again or if work gets busy that you my reader wont wonder where I am at. I love to write and hope that it wont only be fun for me but fun for you the reader. Plus, it would be a given weekly entry. Again, all this will start the first Monday in June. I think most if not all of the weekly prompts are suppose to be fiction and I will attempt to keep them fiction if the topic allows.

It seems to me that I am getting long winded again and I think I need end this particular post for now. I just wanted to update you on things as well inform you on what I am planning on doing with my blog. I love my  recovery and what I am able to do with my blog in regards to my recovery. I just hope I can be able to educate people to lessen the stigma that goes with having a mental illness and show people that recovery is possible. Recovery isn’t easy but is it possible and a lot more fun. Well, have good evening and I hope everyone has a good week. Peace out!!