Dealing With Uncomfortable Emotions

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am dealing with some uncomfortable emotions. Emotions most people, including myself, don’t want to deal with. I am dealing with anger, anxiety and depression which sucks but at least I know how to deal with these unwanted emotions. They may not go away as quickly as I would like but at least I know how to deal with these undesired emotions.

I have pretty much been doing some form of mindfulness and/or meditation practice most of today. I started out the day like I normally do by doing a mindfulness meditation from the Calm App which is quite helpful for me. Other ways I have been practicing mindfulness and meditation is by reading magazines that focus on mindfulness and/or meditation. I have also been journaling about what I am learning regarding mindfulness and meditation. Something else I have been doing is working on a workbook that’s main focus is mindfulness.

Something that I have realized through all this mindfulness and mediation practice is how much my cat, Billie Dean, helps me with mindfulness. In fact I realized this the first day I brought him home when I adopted him. Billie has many ways and behaviors he does to help me with realizing I need to slow down and be in the current moment. Billie has been quite helpful to me with this.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t be continuing to blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great evening ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Looking Forward to the Long Weekend

Good Evening, World!!! Its late Friday evening and the start of a long weekend for the United States due to Memorial Day. It is a day we remember fallen soldiers who gave their life for this country. For them and all veterans I am grateful for my freedom.

Memorial Day weekend is a three day weekend for the United States however it will be a four day weekend for me. It will be a four day weekend for me because I am taking Tuesday off. I am taking Tuesday off because I am going to Bremerton on Sunday to spend a couple of nights there. I thought it would be good for me as getting away for a few days can be refreshing.

Since I will be gone for two nights, my cat, Billie Dean will be going to my grandpa’s tomorrow (Saturday) to spend a few days. I know I could have my grandpa come to my apartment to take care of my cat once a day or have a neighbor do it but I don’t want Billie to be lonely. Plus, my grandpa and two uncles enjoy having Billie around even if they are too stubborn to admit it. I notice when my family has Billie around that their moods appear to be in a better place.

Speaking of moods, my depression and anxiety have been acting up. I am not exactly sure why but I am hopeful that the symptoms won’t be increasing. I am hopeful because I know what I can do to help myself. One of those ways is getting out of town every once in awhile and I am doing that this weekend.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my heart. I am beyond grateful that you read my blog. I hope everyone has a great long weekend ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Anxiety Over Billie’s Vet Visit

Good Evening, World!!! It’s another rainy Tuesday evening in Seattle. I have been off work from my new job for nearly an hour now. I absolutely love my new job and am thrilled that I decided to take this job.

Right now I am extremely anxious about my cat, Billie Dean’s veterinarian appointment tomorrow. He is having dental work done. Specifically, Billie will be having two teeth extracted and a teeth cleaning. I know it is routine and nothing to worry about but I am still anxious about it. The vet Billie goes to is just an amazing veterinarian and awesome human being. Sadly, due to the dental procedure Billie is having tomorrow he is now officially on a fast. Billie is not happy with me because he currently cannot have food. Even though Billie is a cat he is giving me the puppy dog look for food. Poor little dude. I love Billie so much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

A Season of Change

Happy Holidays, World!!! It has been six weeks since my last blog. I do not have an excuse to why have not blogged in the last month and a half. It was just pure laziness. It is my hope that I will start doing what I did on several different occasions. In fact I hope to restart my plans for blogging this Sunday, December 13th. I plan on starting my “Weekly Plans” post this Sunday. Starting, Saturday, December 19th, I plan on doing my “Weekly Check-In” post. Part of the reason why I stopped these post was because of my current job schedule but thankfully, I will be able to start them back up.

The reason why I will be able to start them back up is because tomorrow (Saturday) night will my last shift at my current employer. I put in my notice because, I will be starting a new job on Wednesday, December 16th as a Peer Specialist. It is a fulltime office job. It Monday through Friday during typical office hours. I am having some pretty high anxiety with starting a new job especially since it is fulltime. I know I will do okay with it but I am still anxious as hell.

Another reason why I am so nervous is because of my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is use to me being gone for work once a week for about fourteen hours as well as a once week volunteer shift for about four hours. Now, Billie will deal with me being gone for about ten hours a day for five days a week. Plus, one day week I will gone for about four hours due to volunteering. Billie is a real lovey dovey type of cat that wants his person home as much as possible so I worry about possible separation anxiety on his part. On a plus note, I will be able to work from home about half the time so I am sure this will help Billie the Cat get adjusted to my new work schedule. I love my cat so much and don’t want to put him in any type of stress.

I don’t have much more to say. I do want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a great evening world. Peace Out, World!!!

Oh How I Wish Mr. Sandman Would Visit

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment. I do not know why I am unable to sleep but I do have an idea. I suspect the reason why I can not sleep is due to the anxiety I am feeling after the trauma I experienced last week at the hands of a neighbor that lives on my floor. The anxiety is not a fun thing nor is it helpful in helping with sleep. Besides an increase of anxiety, I am also having an increase of PTSD symptoms. PTSD sucks shit.

On a plus note, Billie Dean, my cat is being quite helpful in regards to both the anxiety and PTSD. Having Billie as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful in my recovery. In fact when I had Lil Gertie as a cat before she crossed over the rainbow bridge, I realize how helpful she was as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA). If it wasn’t for the suggestion of my last therapist of getting a cat as an ESA, I wouldn’t have ever gotten Lil Gertie or Billie. After realizing how helpful Lil Gertie was for my recovery, I knew that having another cat as an ESA would be beneficial to me and my mental health recovery. Billie is doing an amazing job as my ESA, just like Lil Gertie did.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post so I am going to end my post. I want to thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, I want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Plain Ole Coping

Good Evening, World!!! It is now evening time here in Seattle. Right now I am just plain ole coping. Coping with the recent trauma I experienced at the hands of a neighbor. It wasn’t as severe as other trauma’s I have experienced but still relatively traumatic. Traumatic enough that it triggered severe PTSD symptoms from other trauma’s I had experienced in my life.

Now let me discuss the ways I have been coping with the newest trauma in my life. First things first is that my cat, Billie Dean has been quite helpful in helping me cope. Billie has helped me keep myself grounded. Being grounded is key to keeping myself in an okay head space.

Another form of grounding for me as well as a coping skill is doing mindfulness and meditation exercises. Exercises that help me be in the present moment. For me using meditation and mindfulness as away to cope has been prove effective for me and my recovery.

Now that I have let you know how I have been coping at the moment I want to bring something to your attention and hope you help me with it. If you don’t want to, I hope you don’t feel pressured to do so. As you may have seen, I have advertisements on my blog. I have them on my blog to help me earn some money. The only way I can earn money from the advertisements is if you click on them and let them fully load. You don’t have buy anything after clicking. I only earn a cent or two for you clicking it but I don’t get paid till the amount adds up to at least one hundred dollars. I hope that you can help me by clicking on the advertisements so I can earn some extra money.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do, however, want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Full of Anxiety about Job Interview

Good Morning, World. Right now I am full of anxiety regarding my job interview later on this morning. I am not sure why I am anxious about it but I am. Personally, I am always anxious before job interviews.

On the plus note about my job interview is that the weather is nice out here in Seattle. That means I do not have to wear a jacket or sweater which can be a bit cumbersome at a job interview especially when you depend on public transportation or car services like Lyft.

Right now the hard part for me is trying to keep my cat, Billie, from sitting on my lap. As much as I would love for my cat, Billie, to be on my lap, I want to limit the amount of hair I get on me. Sadly, I don’t have one of those lint rollers. I totally forgot to buy one when I was at the store last night.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys their Wednesday. If you live in Seattle, I hope you enjoy the weather. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having another sleepless in Seattle type of night. I guess my anxiety is still pretty high after what happened with my neighbors and them fighting. Not a big fan of being high anxiety or having my insomnia act up. I partially blame my neighbors as well as this stupid pandemic known as Covid-19. The isolation is getting to me just like the noisy neighbors are getting to me and there is really nothing anyone can do about it at this point in time.

Something that I have been missing a great deal during this pandemic is baseball. I greatly miss baseball. Watching baseball helps a great deal with my anxiety as well as my other mental health diagnosis’s. I love watching baseball and was hoping to see my favorite team play this season but I don’t think it is going to happen this season.

Another thing that helps with my anxiety it doing art. In fact I have been doing art for most of the night to help with my anxiety. The art I did was mainly painting and collaging. In fact I have combined the two mediums (genre’s) and it’s pretty cool looking. Doing art work helps relax me and hope that if I do more it will help me get a few hours of sleep.

My cat, Billie Dean, has been quite helpful with me dealing with the add anxiety I have been dealing with. I don’t know what I would do without my cat. I love Billie so much. He is such a lap cat who loves to talk. I respond back some of the time and wonder what I agreed to. I am grateful to have Billie in my life.

Anyway, I have a phone therapy session with my therapist later today. The thing on my agenda to discuss in therapy is my added anxiety with everything going on. Yes, my therapist is well aware of the anxiety of the noise but I am hoping we can come up with other ways for me to deal with in. I will most likely bring up the sleep issues I am having and how it appears to be getting worse at the moment. I am grateful that my therapy is still going on even if it is on the phone. I wish it was in person but it is on the phone due to the pandemic. Oh how I wish Covid-19 would go away. Sadly, Covid-19 is a reality for everyone around the world at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I just hope everyone has a great Wednesday ahead of them. I want to say thank you to everyone of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I don’t know how to thank you enough. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope each one of you have a wonderful day ahead of you and are able to enjoy it. Peace Out, World!!!

A Complaining Post Full of Anxiety

Hello, World!!! Right now I am full of anxiety and not very happy with my two of my neighbors. These two neighbors have been loud for hours on end, nearly everyday for the last two months. They are extremely loud with loud music on the community patio and have been doing this since the stay at home order. Most of the time they are drinking alcohol and I am sure that doesn’t help with them being quiet.

On that note, these two neighbors obviously had too much alcohol today and while on the patio got into a fight. I heard the yelling and looked out the window. When I looked out the window, I noticed them fighting so I call 911. The Seattle police came and broke it up. One of the neighbors got arrested while the other one went to the hospital to get checked out. Anyway, one of the Seattle cops asked me why I didn’t report the noise. I explained that when I did twice before I was informed by the non-emergency line that Seattle Police weren’t responding to noise complaint no matter what time it is due to the fact of Covid-19. The police officer said that is not true but thankfully a superior officer overheard and backed up what I said. I know without a shadow of doubt that my two neighbors wouldn’t have been so noisy for two months if it wasn’t because of this stupid pandemic.

Anyway, after all this my anxiety was extremely high, I decided to do some meditation and mindfulness practice which helped me a great deal. My cat, Billie also helped me more than he could ever know. If it wasn’t for the mindfulness and meditation practices as well as my cat, I don’t know how long my anxiety would have lasted. Hell, my anxiety is still high but not as high as it was.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great night. Peace Out, World!!!

Anxiety + Insomnia = No Sleep For Me

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep. Having anxiety doesn’t help the fact that I have insomnia and due to both sleep is a no go for me at the moment.

Long story short, my apartment building has a community patio and my apartment is right above it. I live on the second floor and of course the patio is on the first floor. Anyway, the same two neighbors have been constantly loud and noisy for hours on end nearly everyday of the week for two months now. I have complained about it to the apartment management and they can’t or won’t do anything about. I have called the Seattle Police non-emergency line on two occasions and due to the pandemic aren’t dealing with noise complaints at this time. So, it is starting to affect my anxiety big time. It bothers me that my neighbors don’t give a shit and that neither the apartment management nor Seattle police are doing anything about it. On a good note, I have emailed all my complaints so they are dated and time stamped and in three of the five complaints I mentioned it was effecting my physical and mental health as well as my disability. I informed them of this as a precaution to protect my ass. Thankfully, I am not the only neighbor bothered by the loud and noisy neighbors.

Another thing that probably isn’t helping with my insomnia is my part time job working at night. In fact it’s a twelve hour night shift. I like my job for the most part. I just don’t like it being twelve hours at night. I don’t do well with night shifts. Something I have done was apply for two jobs yesterday (Monday, May 18th, 2020) to work at local nonprofits. I also put in an application about a month ago at Costco. I am not holding my breath on any of the jobs especially at this point in time with Covid-19 going on.

One of the things that has been helping with the Covid-19 stay at home order is my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is such a lap cat who loves his belly rubbed. Billie also loves his two front paws massaged. I am beyond grateful for Billie and love him so much. I do miss my last cat Lil Gertie and think of her everyday. I talk to Billie about her. Billie love his cat tree and looking out the window. He appears to be entertained by the crows and squirrels which entertains me. If it wasn’t for Billie I am more than positive that my anxiety would be higher with my loud ass neighbors on the patio.

I don’t have much else to say so I am going to end this post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my post. I hope everyone has a great rest of your night. Peace Out, World!!!