Tag Archives: Anxiety

Out of Work Sick (again); Possibly Anxiety Related

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am out sick again today because I am vomiting again. At least I know the vomiting is from the symptoms of my Anxiety, PTSD and Depression. I am really hoping that I can go back to work tomorrow. In fact I am slightly fearful that I could get fired for missing so many days but I am part of a union so since I have not been discussed about missing so many days of work I don’t think I will get fired. Plus my supervisors are pretty awesome.

Even though I fear getting in trouble for missing a lot of days, I am grateful that my supervisors promote self care. My self care today is of course cuddling with my beloved cat, Billie. Billie appears to be helping a great deal with my anxiety and depression which is helping the lessening of the vomiting. This is why I think the vomiting is anxiety, PTSD and depression related because I don’t have the normal symptoms that come with vomiting such as a fever or stomach upset or nausea.

Another way I plan on doing self care today is reading an awesome book called “Don’t Open The Door.” I really like the book and the author is Allison Brennan. Once I am done with this book, I hope to read another book she has written. I love reading books by authors that catch my attention right from the first two or three chapters. Of course when reading, my cat Billie cuddles with me which is a great form of self care.

Of course besides cuddling with my cat Billie as I read, I will be doing some art work. I of course will be coloring two giant posters. I will also start doing Diamond art. The Diamond art will be a bit more complicated to do but well worth it as I have had friends with Diamond art and they came out beautifully. It will take a lot of patients doing the diamond art but I think it will be well worth it.

Since this is a day of safe care to help reduce the anxiety provoked vomiting , I hope to go back to work tomorrow. I love my job and enjoy it immensely, Self care is necessary for both mental health and physical health. Just grateful for doing self care.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my post. It is greatly appreciated from the end of things that you read on my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

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A Middle of the Night New Challenge to Coloring This

Posted on by Gertie
A giant color picture I just started due to not being able to sleep. Not much is colored but I did color some. It is going to take awhile and hope to update you all as it progresses.

Good Morning, World!!! Or maybe I could say, Happy Middle of the Night to those of us who are currently able to sleep. Many times coloring helps me with both my anxiety and my insomnia. I am not sure if I am going to work on more tonight or not as I am hoping my anxiety meds and sleeping meds will kick in and help tonight. I just hope I get enough sleep to get into work tomorrow. I really love my job and don’t want to miss too much of being out. But I least coloring helps me grounding and a form or coping skills from. I hope everyone has a great time doing will help to keep your self from burnout.

Thank you for following my blog and hope that I can continue with his a comple of coloring picture come along.

Out of Work Today Due to Anxiety Acting Up

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Right now, I should be arriving at work especially since I need to be attending a new employee orientation where all new employees are required to take. Sadly, due to a mishap with my bank once again, I am having major panic attacks over it to where I needed to take my anxiety meds which is a controlled substance. My work frowns upon needing to take those types of meds when you are working as you need to be on full alert. I did let my supervisors know that I would not be in today. I just worry I will get fired because I’ve already missed three days counting today and I’ve only been with my new employee for just over a month now. I’m sure I have nothing to worry about at this moment in time with work or they would have informed me by now or I would hope they would have.

The thing I am most worried about is the money situation I am having with my bank. I thought it was taken care of and it was at one point in time. Now it is screwed up again. I did call the bank to see if I could get it fixed. They said it is now taken care of but I will still go to the bank I regularly go to, to make sure it is taken care of. Even though the nice banking people on the phone were helpful, I just want to make sure it is fully taken care of when I go into the bank. Messing with people’s money is no joke and I know my bank with help with the money situation as communication styles were challenging specifically on my end.

Of course the lack of sleep last night did not help much with my anxiety around my money in my bank account this morning. It was quite a shocker when the same banking issue arises again as you barely wake up from a not so good night of sleep. Having insomnia sucks and waking up to money issues that were supposed to be taken care of already suck.

Good thing I have my cat, Billie Dean by my side to help with my anxiety especially when I go to the bank. No Billie will not go to the bank with me. He will help me with decreasing my anxiety before I go to the bank. Hopefully, this will help with everything.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time to do my weekly check-in. This is something I enjoy doing for many reasons. Overall, this past week has been great despite the lack of sleep I have had due to insomnia. Insomnia sucks hard core.

Even though, I have had trouble sleeping a good portion of the week, work went quite well. I received some awesome feedback from my supervisor on how to deal with some challenging clients. Granted it was hard to take feedback but awesome. My supervisor is awesome. I also received great feedback from my supervisor during our team meeting which was hard to take in as I am use to taking praise especially in front of other people.

My twice daily mindfulness meditation practices are going quite well. Actually, I do three a day five days a week when I work as I do one mid-day to help myself refocus and to lessen stress especially if it has been an unusually stressful day at work. The extra mindfulness meditation practice during my work day actually focuses on work related stress. So, basically I do two mindfulness meditation practices twice a week and three mindfulness meditation practices five times a week. Sometimes I do more if I feel like I need to.

My cat, Billie Dean of course has been a love bug and quite awesome. Billie helped me quite a bit with my anxiety attacks regarding unexpected anxiety provoking events. Events that were eventually dealt with.

That is my weekly check-in for the week. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

First Day at Job Site

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am anxious as hell as today is my first day at my job site. Yes, last week was my first official week at work but it was all training and mostly online. I know I will do fine but I am still scared. I just want to do good be what they expect me to be.

I am also nervous about the public transportation part of getting to work. I haven’t taken public transportation since before Covid but I either took a Lyft to work or worked from home. So, I am a little nervous as it would be way too much money to take a Lyft to work.

The other reason why I am nervous is I am worried about leaving my cat Billie Dean home by himself for so long. He is such a lap cat and a needy cat that I worry about being gone so long. Plus, I’m a little needy myself especially for my cat Billie. I love my Billie so much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good week at work. Peace Out, World!!!

Anxiety Increasing as Tomorrow Gets Closer

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! My anxiety is increasing as tomorrow gets closer. Even though I’ve had my first week of work it was mostly done remotely or in person with the HR and IT departments which is at different location that I will be working at. See tomorrow in my first day at my job site and I am nervous as fucking hell. I know it is okay to be nervous but not just anxious about my first day at my job site.

I am nervous about having to take public transportation again. The last two years I’ve been either working from home or taking Lyft to and from work due to Covid-19 as I was trying to limit the amount of exposure I could get. I’m not so worried about the exposure as much due to having the vaccine, the booster and actually being diagnosed with Covid-19 the day after I got the booster. Covid suck shit and I know there is a possibility of getting it again but that is not why I’m worried about using public transportation. I’m nervous because, I’ll be taking a route I’ve never taken before. I’m nervous because even on routes, I am familiar with, there are times I have to get off due anxiety and/or PTSD issues and would have to wait for the next bus so I could be in a better head space to be back on the bus. I know everything will be fine but I’m still anxious about it. I just to get use to public transportation again as well as a new route to me.

When I get home from work tomorrow I am sure my cat Billie dean will be more than happy that I am home. Hell, Billie is always happy when I get home even if it is for five minutes for checking my mail or taking out the garbage. I’m more than certain that I will be just as happy to be home as my cat will be.

I do not have much else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Up Before the Butt Crack of Dawn

Posted on by Gertie

Good Sunday Morning, World from Seattle, Washington, USA. It is two o seven in the morning as I start this lovely post. I would rather be sleeping soundly like my cat Billie Dean is right now.. In fact he is snoring. Snoring is normal for him.

Lets start why I’m probably up before the but crack of dawn which would be work tomorrow (Monday). I go into my work site for the first time I go into my actual job site and I have anxiety over it. Not sure why but I think it’s because I want to do a good job at what I do and proof my supervisor and myself that I can do the job.

On that note, I will be volunteering at PAWS Cat City later this morning and am proud to say that Boris got adopted Friday morning. If he wasn’t FIV positive and more lovey dovey than my Billie Boy I would have add him to the family.

My other plans to do today is to do a math workbook to freshen up on my math skills. I also plan on doing a mindfulness workbook to help me with being more mindful of the moment and maybe start a mindfulness group at work if it’s the type of recovery work I can do at the Triage center. I’m also going to work on a workbook specifically for mental health recovery.

As part of my self care besides volunteering at PAWS Cat City, I’ll do some art work by coloring. And of course spending time with my cat Billie.

Too Early To Be Awake on the First Day of a Job

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World from the land known as Seattle. It is one forty seven in the morning here in Seattle and been awake since one o’clock Seattle time. Yes, it only been just over forty five minutes but I’m tired as fucking hell and have to get up in four hours.

I think it is pre jitter nerves for the first day of my new job in Everett. I’m not very familiar with the Everett area and will be spending at a location on my first day that I normal won’t be at. On that note, I get work from home for the rest of the week and start working at my “normal office” on the 18th of July. I’ll be working from 9:00am to 5:00pm so I sort of get to sleep in. On the plus note, I get to read or listen to a podcast as I will be taking public transportation.

On that note when I woke up at one o’clock in the morning I took some meds to help with my anxiety and nerves. The meds are starting to kick in so I’m going to try to go back to sleep. Just wish I was as sound as asleep as my Billie the cat is right now. I do wan to thank you for reading my blog. If wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Television Not Working; Time to Read

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! My television stopped working and not sure why. That means I get to catch up on some reading. I’m hoping my uncle or grandpa can help me with my television as I like to watch the news. I like to know what is going on in the world.

Granted the news can cause some anxiety but I like to know what is going on in the world. Despite the news being depressing, I think I will read a book. I have two choose books to choose from and i think I am going to read the singleton book ss the the other three books are a serious of books.

Another think I am going to to do is listen to a podcast about philosophy. I learn a great deal from philosophy. I listen to it by podcast. I’m glad I’m learning stuff about different subjects.

I think I need to go now. i am getting tired from my med. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!

A Mindfulness Type of Post

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Or maybe I should say Happy Friday Eve!!! Either way, I am greeting everyone with a smile despite being somewhat anxious. Not sure why, I am anxious and I am okay with that. I am okay with that because of doing mindfulness and meditation.

I started doing the “Daily Calm” on the “Calm” app once again. At one point in time I did the “Daily Calm” over one hundred days in a row. I am hoping that I can get back into the habit of doing it again like I did before because it helped me be in a better headspace.

Not only does the “Daily Calm” put me in a better headspace, my cat does it as well. My cat, Billie Dean has helped me a great deal to be in a better headspace. Billie has also helped me do mindfulness especially when he is on my lap. I am so grateful for my cat.

I don’t have much else to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Once again, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!