Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! It’s that time of the week where I check-in with you, my reader. As some of you may know, this past week has been dragging on for me. As you may not know its been a week of high anxiety for me. Anxiety that is most likely due to the recent trauma I experienced.

Anxiety that was extremely high at times this week yet lessened by the things I did. One of the things I did throughout this week was art. I did a lot of art. The type of art I did this week was coloring and collaging. In fact I made an effort to do some art everyday this week as I missed attending Art Group on Monday. I really dislike when I miss any group and I feel like I need to figure out a way to attend Art Group every week or at least on a more regular basis. This is something to discuss with my therapist about.

Speaking of my therapist, I saw her this past week. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I was full of anxiety in during my session with my therapist. Anxiety that was (and is) trauma related. In fact the trauma is what was being discussed or at least how the recent trauma is affecting my life. Therapy is never easy and am grateful to be able to be in it as it’s helped me become a better person. A person in recovery.

A person in recovery that is now not a hundred percent afraid to discuss sexuality. In fact I am now attending a Healthy Sexuality Group. My case manager is one of the co-facilitators of the group. As difficult as the topic of sexuality is for me because of my trauma history, I am glad I’m in place where I able to discuss it. Not just in group but with my partner and close friends.

Since we are on the topic of groups, I also attended Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group. As usual attending DBT group was quite helpful. It was helpful as it normally is. Yes, practicing the skills are difficult yet most of them have become second nature to me. Fortunately yet unfortunately, I have extra homework to do for DBT group. I have extra homework regarding self-validation because of the difficulties I have with validating myself. My therapist is in agreement with this. I may not want to do the homework for DBT group and/or my therapist regarding the self-validation, I realize it’s going to be helpful for me in in the long run.

Another thing that will be helpful for me is something regarding my blog. That is to start getting back in the regular habit blogging. Getting back in the habit of blogging will help me get back the structure I desperately need at the moment. The other reason why I’m attempting to get back in the habit of blogging is to keep you the reader interested in following my blog. One way of getting back in habit of blogging is something I started this week. That thing is I started a course that WordPress puts on for free. The course I am taking is Finding Everyday Inspiration. In fact my last three post were part of the course I am taking.

Before I end this post, I want to update you on my friend who was a victim in the Las Vegas shooting. They are still in critical condition but slowly improving. They are now breathing on their on. Something that myself and many others are thrilled about.

As, I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. I hope you all have a wonderful evening and a good rest of your weekend. Peace Out!!!

 

Having A Rough Night

Good Morning, World!!! It’s almost two o’clock in the morning in my neck of the woods and am having a rough night. Right now, I’m by myself as Junior is working his shift. I’m okay with that. It’s just difficult because I’m having a rough night. There is only so much art work you can do in a given day. In fact I’ve been doing some form of art since my last post, yesterday evening. Yes, I have attempted to sleep however it’s been difficult to do so which is why I’ve been doing art work most of the night.

As much as I love being able to do art, however it was starting to get difficult to be creative with it. That’s when I decided to make a decision to blog which led me to make yet another decision to what free course I’m going to take through WordPress. I decided I’m going take the Everyday Inspiration course. I’ll either begin the course later on today or sometime tomorrow as I don’t want to overload you with too many post. After the Everyday Inspiration course, I plan on taking the Intro to Poetry course. I’m planning to doing this way as the Everyday Inspiration course is twenty days and the Intro to Poetry course is ten days. That equals to thirty days and I heard that it takes thirty days to create a habit.

Blogging isn’t the only habit I attempting to do. The other habit is doing some form of mindfulness and meditation everyday. So far it’s helping with my anxiety and PTSD. I’m hoping to tell you more about this at a later time.

I’m saying a later time because it’s now 2:09 in the morning and even though I’m having a rough night I want attempt to sleep. I hope everyone has a good rest of their day. Peace out, world!!!

Ramblings About Therapy & Other Things

Hello, World!!! As I sit here on my couch with my laptop on my lap I can’t help but think how this week is dragging on. I’m not sure why this week seems so slow but it does.

Despite it being a slow week, thus far, I still went to my appointment to see my therapist. Todays session was not an easy one as we discussed what happened to me two weeks ago. I was noticeably “high anxiety” according to my therapist which is something I can’t deny or argue with her over. We discussed a little about what happened. We mainly talked about how it’s effecting my life at the moment. My therapist saw me react to a flashback for the first time even though I’m 99.5% sure she was (and is) unaware of it. I’m not sure what she was thinking because I’m unable to read minds however I’m sure she thought I was reacting to something by showing some anger by punching the pillow. She noticed me with my slight “anger” with hitting the pillow and she stated “Let’s take three deep breaths” which we both did. The thing that shocks me is I didn’t react the way I typically do when someone says “deep breath(e).” Yes, I did have a flashback and body memory however I just flowed with the flow. Taking nice good breaths helped a great deal. We continued with the rest of our session. We ended the session with me not holding the pillow and my therapist having me take “a few deep breaths.” Yes, this triggered me however, once again, I went with the flow.

I owe me not reacting to my therapist telling me to “take a deep breath” to the Calm app and it’s meditation. The lady that does the meditation practice’s I’ve done thus far says “take a deep breath.”  I feel this has been a type of exposure therapy for me. It’s something, I think I need to bring this up to my therapist as it’s a big deal for me and my recovery.

Now that we are on the topic of this particular app. I used it on my way home from therapy to help me get in a better head space. It helped a lot more than I thought it would. I am grateful to the person who informed me about the Calm app.

On that note, I’ll end this post for now. I realize that I need to attempt to eat something even if nothing sounds appetizing. I hope everyone has good rest of the evening. Peace Out!!!

Fighting Against Anxiety

Good Morning, World!!! I’m attempting to get ready to go see my case manager yet I’m struggling with going. My anxiety is high at the moment. I know if I don’t attend my appointment that my anxiety is just going to increase. Yes, I realize when I leave my apartment to go see my case manager, my anxiety will be quite intense for a few moments. Yet, if I don’t attend my appointment my anxiety will only increase and last longer than if I were to go

Thank you for listening (or in this case reading) to me vent. I hope to blog more later today or sometime tomorrow. Thank you for reading. Peace Out!!!

It’s Beginning To Feel Like Summer

It’s beginning to feel like summer and I’m loving it. The weather hasn’t necessarily been the best in my neck of the woods so when its finally nice out, I take advantage of the weather. Its suppose to be in the mid-eighties to high-eighties today. Tomorrow it’s suppose to hit 95 degrees and a lot of the “locals” aren’t exactly happy about it. Ninety-five degrees is a wee bit “hot” for them. I, of course love the hot weather due to growing up in California.

The one thing I’ve learned from growing up in California is to stay hydrated and to slather yourself in sun block. I say this because tomorrow I will be volunteering at the Pride Parade helping out with crowd control. As much as I am looking forward to helping out, it’s causing some anxiety. I’m not sure why it’s causing anxiety but it is. I, however won’t let anxiety get in the way from allowing me to enjoy the events of Pride weekend.

One of the things, I am doing this weekend to celebrate pride besides volunteering at the Pride Parade is attending a picnic with friends and lots of food. In fact I am attending the picnic today. I always look forward to enjoying food with my friends. Friends who love me and care about me no matter what. Friends who accept me as me.

I need to get going as I need to finish one of the dishes, I am taking to the picnic. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Happy Pride and Peace Out!!!

 

It’s Been Three Years

Wow!!! It’s hard to believe that it’s been three years since I started blogging. The last three years have just flown. Hell, a lot has happened in the last three years.

When I started this blog I had no clue what I was doing. I still don’t have a clue on what I am doing. It was and still is my goal of this blog to educate those who do not struggle with a mental health condition that those who do live with one can live a productive life and to give hope to those who do live with a mental health condition that recovery is possible. Little did I know when I started blogging on how much it would be helpful to me and my recovery.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that my recovery means the world to me. Blogging has helped me a great deal in many ways especially in regards to my recovery.

As you can tell, I am big into recovery. The reason why I am big into recovery is because as difficult as it is to be in recovery its also that much easier to be in it than it is not to be in it. It’s also a lot more fun. Granted, I may not be bouncing back as quickly as I have in recent years but I’m still in recovery as I am taking care of myself.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you my reader and/or follower. Have a good Hump Day (Wednesday) and Peace Out!!!

The Simple Things In Life

Over the last few weeks, I’ve come to realize that I am needing to focus on the simple things in life. Simple things that many people tend to forget due to their busy lives or just stopped doing because they “grew out” of them.  Things I think as adults we need to learn from children and that’s to enjoy the little and simple things in life.

I may not have had the easiest of childhoods but I do remember some of the simple things I enjoyed as a kid. One, such thing I never stopped doing and seems to be “all the craze” now for adults is coloring.  Coloring is one of those activities that is a makes you think brainless activity. What I mean is that you have to think about what color you are going to use but not really have to do any other brain activity while coloring. Another such simple thing I enjoy is Play-Doh.

Yes, I did say Play-Doh.  Play-Doh helps a great deal with my anxiety. I rediscovered Play-Doh a few years ago when I was at a continuing education class for Peer Counselors. The trainer put out Play-Doh so the attendees could play with it. Needless to say, I had some fun at that training and quickly realized that I learned a great deal from that training, partly due to the Play-Doh. I tend to focus better and learn more when my hands are busy.  I always carry a little thing of Play-Doh with me.

A simple thing I wish I could carry with me everywhere is something I can not carry with me for various reasons. That simple thing is my morning tea with honey and milk in it while reading the news paper in quiet. Yes, I can do this anytime of the day or night but there is something peaceful about drinking tea and reading the paper in the morning.

Mornings as well as evenings are also perfect times to do something else simple. That is taking walks. I attempt to go for a walk both in the morning and the evening as it helps a great deal with both depression and anxiety.

Music is another simple thing that people tend to forget about. A simple thing that has helped me through some extremely difficult times in my life. Music is the one simple thing that I can rely on no matter what is going on and whether or not I am doing well in regards to my mental health conditions.

If it weren’t for the difficulties I have had the last seven or so months as things slowly start to improve, I wouldn’t have been focusing on getting to the point where I am at right now which focusing on the simple things in life. Yes, some of the simple thing in life I enjoy maybe considered “childish” or “just joining the craze” but if it weren’t for those simple things I don’t think things would be improving as they are now. Granted I’m improving as fast as I would like but I am improving.

As things slowly start to improve for me, focusing on the simple things will help out a great deal. As I end this post please take time out and focus on the simple things in your life and how it could help you out. Thank you for reading. Peace out!!!