Weekly Check-In

Good Afternoon, World!! I don’t have much to check in about as my depression, anxiety and PTSD have been.

I will however briefly check in about the town hall I attended this past Wednesday. The town hall was focused how who both The Division of Behavioral Health and Recovery DBHR) and The Department of Social and Human Service’s (DSHS) can be better advocate for us who not only seek services as a client of a mental health client but one who works as Peer Specialist who works in the system. It was a highlight because it felt like from my end that things were being heard in a lot of ways.

On a not so good note, my symptoms are starting to increase. Increase to where I’m thinking I might have to take myself to the Emergency Room (E.R) soon. Don’t worry, I am not a danger to harm myself on anyone else at the moment. I will never be a danger to anyone else as I don’t want to cause any harm to someone else. I can make this promise to you and this is if I feel like harming myself I will take myself to E.R. As I stated earlier in this paragraph, I am currently NOT a harm to myself or anyone else.

Thank for reading. I hope that you all have a good rest of your Saturday and weekend. Peace Out!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 10, Let the Scene Write Itself

Good Morning, World!!! Today’s assignment appears to be easy. Or it’s a simple one for me. It pretty much ask to let the scene write itself. In fact it was and is the scene I am waking up to at the moment.

Junior woke me up in bed by giving me a simple kiss on the cheek. He then served  me some breakfast me bed. He made me French toast covered in banana’s and caramel, strawberries and cream oatmeal and chocolate milk. Junior made me breakfast in bed to reassure me that his love for me grows for me each day.

I already knows how much he loves me. I wish I was able to show my love for him a little bit more however as of lately it’s been difficult to do so. Junior understands and will be there for me no matter what. I love Junior with all my heart.

I think I should end this post for now as Junior is finishing up getting ready for work. He is doing his 24 hour shift as a firefighter. I love him so much. Both of our hearts goes to the firefighters fighting fires in California. Have a good weekend!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Friday the 13th

Happy Friday the 13th!!! Well, it still is Friday the 13th for another hour and a half hours in my neck of the woods. I know a lot of people who have called in sick today as it’s Friday the 13th and they have some major superstitions regarding this day.

In fact I embrace Friday the 13th. I embrace it by watching movies in marathon mode like; Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street. Best way to spend a gloomy day that lands on Friday the 13th is by watching scary movies from the late 80’s and early 90’s.

I’m thinking I’m needing to get more snacks from the fridge. Time for some brownies, milk, candy and milk. Plus, I want to spend some quality time with Junior.

I hope everyone has a weekend!!! Don’t let such a superstitious day ruin such a great day. Happy Friday 13th and Peace Out!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 9: Writing and Not Writing

Good Evening, World!!! I’m struggling to do today’s assignment for some unknown reason. A reason I am unable to come up with at this moment in time. Today’s assignment more or less ask what I do when I am not writing.

I perceive the assignment as a way to think about my self care and the focus I must have to continue on with my recovery that doesn’t include writing. Writing is a form of therapy for me however I know it’s not the cure all for my therapy needs.

When I’m not writing, I am primarily doing something regarding my mental health treatment. I attend appointments with my case manager and therapist. I also attend group therapy. The groups I attend are Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Healthy Sexuality, and Art Groups. In fact if I really wanted to, I could write about the various topics brought up in all the groups I’ve been in as well as topics brought up in my sessions with my therapist and case manager.

When I’m not participating in my mental health treatment, I am spending time with friends. Most likely my friends and I are having a dinner get together or out enjoying the outdoors. Many of my friends and I love the outdoors and love to hike as well as camp.

So, basically when I am not writing, I am doing good self care by seeking mental health treatment as well as spending time with friends. Preferably, my friends and I are spending time outside.  I think this assignment just gave me an idea or two to write about later on.

As, I end this blog post, I want to thank you for reading. You guys are my inspiration on why I continue to write. Thanks for being awesome. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 8: Reinvent the Letter Format

Hello, World!!! Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration, is to write your blog in a letter format. I’m having difficulty do this because it appears to me that the only people I can think of righting a letter or letters to, can and will bring up some major pain to me.

The first person I thought of righting a letter to as part of this assignment was the person who abused me as child. The person in this particular case would be my brothers dad. It brings up a great deal of pain and anger. Both emotion’s that I really don’t want to deal with at the moment.

The second person I thought of writing a letter to as a part of todays assignment was to Diana. The therapist that departed the agency I am client of unexpectedly due to a cancer diagnosis. This brings me much pain and grief as I was unable to say goodbye to her. A goodbye as in a final session however this was unable to happen because she needs to focus on getting better. I am unsure how she is doing or if she is even still alive. I’m still grieving over the loss of her as my therapist especially it was all of sudden and quite unexpected.

The third letter I thought about writing was to the two sets of twins I lost in two miscarriages. As expected that brought up a great deal of sadness and pain. Pain and sadness I really don’t want to acknowledge. As any parent or expectant parent will tell you is that the greatest pain a parent can endure is loosing a child. I can say this without a shadow of a doubt because I’ve endured a great deal of pain in my life due to various traumas and the greatest pain I’ve endured is loosing my children via miscarriage. Loosing a child is quite difficult.

In fact WordPress suggested to write a letter to someone about a joyous time. I attempted to do so when I started this post by writing a letter to Diana. Unfortunately, it was bringing up a great deal of grief and sadness for me as Diana has helped me with a great deal in my recovery.

It is my hope that maybe someday, I can do this assignment when it doesn’t seem so overwhelming for me at this moment in time. Sometimes it difficult to acknowledge to others when things can be hard and/or overwhelming for me. So thanks for being  understanding.

As, I end this blog post, I want to thanks you for reading. I appreciate you for your readership. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 7: Let Social Media Inspire You

Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration is to let social media inspire me. WordPress gave about a handful of tweets to choose from, so I decided to choose the one above. I fear that what I might say about the tweet above, may came across as and if it does, that’s not my attention.

First and fore most, I’m not sure why the person who tweeted the above tweet deleted tweet to make a decision that should never get a tattoo. Maybe its because of moral reasons. Maybe she has seen tattoos that weren’t the wisest of choices or tattoos that didn’t come out correctly and whatever the reason why she chooses to not get at tattoo, I find her comment judgmental even if that wasn’t her intention of doing so.

I know for me, I made the decision to get tattoo’s. I only have two tattoo’s and have thought long hard on what tattoo’s I want to have. They are something that will be on your body till the day you die. My tattoo’s have meaning for me and both are related to my recovery.

My first tattoo is a semicolon. My semicolon tattoo is a reminder have far I come in my recovery. It’s also a reminder to me that when things get tough, that my story isn’t over yet. It reminds me to carry on with my life no matter how difficult life is at times.

The second tattoo is that of a butterfly. I’m wanted a butterfly tattoo since I was sixteen years old and didn’t find the right butterfly for me till I was thirty-seven and got it as birthday present to for myself. I got the butterfly tattoo as it is a symbol of hope for me. It represents hope for me because the butterfly has to go through some difficult times of being in a dark and lonely place to become a butterfly. For me a butterfly represent the hope I have as well as all the difficult work I have put into my recovery.

Yes, I am planning on getting more tattoo’s Its matter of what exactly I want. I do want the word Hope tattooed on my right wrist. It’s just I have to make sure I find the right font and design I want.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you my reader and/or follower. I hope to blog later this evening about the town hall I will be attending today. It’s the town hall I discussed in my last post Have a great Hump Day (Wednesday). Just think that day is half over with. Go out and make someone’s day bye giving someone a smile and simple hello. It could save a person’s life!!! Peace Out, World!!!

Looking Forward to Tomorrow

Good Evening, World!!! Tomorrow, I am going to be attending a town hall regarding the Office of Consumer Partnerships and advocacy regarding peer support. It’s being put on in city where the state capital is which is about an hour and a half car ride from where I live. The Division of Behavioral Health and Recovery (DBHR) and The Department of Social and Human Service’s (DSHS) want to hear from the peer community. They want to hear what we have to say and how to better advocate for us.

I’m looking forward to it for many reasons. One reason I’m looking forward to it is that I get to spend time with people I consider my “tribe” or part of my community. Another reason I am looking forward to it is being able know what the state is doing to better serve the community I’ve been a part of most of my life. Hell, I’ve been a consumer of the mental health system since I was nine. I’ve been volunteering in the mental health field for the last five year. I also worked in the mental health field for two and a half years and plan on working in the field again. So, I guess what I am saying is that I am looking forward to the town hall because of the many aspects of mental health has had on my life and how I can better advocate for others as well as myself.

I hope to talk more about the town hall tomorrow evening when I get home from it. I can’t make any promise’s as I am not sure how drained I will be afterwards. I want to thank you for reading. Have a good evening. Peace Out!!!