Awe, Another Year at the U-District Street Fair

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U-District Street Fair Sign. 50 Year Anniversary of the U-District Street Fair

Just like every years since 2001, I attended the University District Street Fair located on “The Ave” in the University District neighborhood in Seattle. I love attending the U-District Street Fair for many reasons. One of which is that it has helped a great deal with my depression with me getting out of the apartment and has become a tradition for me because of that.

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Curly Fries. You can watch them make the curly fries from a homemade tool and potato’s they grow on their farm.

The second reason I go to the U-District Street Fair is for the food. Got to love the food. The one food I look forward to every year is the curly fries. This year I had a tough time finding them as the curly fry people weren’t in the same general area as they typically are in. I am grateful that they are still at the U-District Street Fair. Got to love the food.

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Just a couple of the characters you see doing street performances at the U-District. In this case it is two people play music with cat mask on.

The third reason I go is for the music as well as the street performances. I love the fact that you are able to see the true character of the U-District with both the street performers and the music they play.

The fourth reason I go is for the art. Sadly, many of the artist don’t like having pictures taken of their art or I would have done so. The only way is to buy the artwork and in most cases I am unable to afford it.

I have many more reasons why I go to the U-District Street Fair but if I mention them all, this would be the never ending post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thing. If you live in the Seattle area, I hope you get the opportunity to attend the U-District Street Fair. Peace Out, World!!!

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Yucky Weather Type of Day

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been one of those yucky type of days weather wise to where you don’t want to do shit. Since it has been one of those days you want to stay inside, I have been doing just that. When the weather is yucky this time of year in Seattle, I tend to stay inside. I have been reading since my last post and have been enjoying it. I love to read and find any excuse to do so and today I am using the excuse of not so pleasant weather. In fact reading helps me a great deal. It helps me get out of my head and forget my problems. It is like a vacation without all the hassle of planning one.

Not only have I been reading, I am about to head out in this yucky weather to go to the free art class I am taking. The class I am taking is called Beginning Comics Storytelling and I am enjoying it. It is an eight week class and sadly I missed last week due to traveling out of town.  I love the fact that the art class I am taking involves things I enjoy which include; art, comics, storytelling and writing. I am grateful that my therapist suggested signing up for the program that offers the free art classes.

Speaking of my art class I need to get going so I can be on time to my class. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Random Update

Happy Friday, World!!! A great deal has happened since I last posted. In fact, I vaguely remember writing my last post as I was dissociating on and off through it. In fact my mental health treatment team is quite concerned about how much I have been dissociating and how long the episodes last. In fact I am just as concerned as they are. As concerned as I am in regards to my dissociative episodes, I am more fearful of them than anything else.

Last Friday at this time I was traveling to a small rural town in eastern Oregon to visit my great aunt and uncle with my grandpa, dad and two uncles. I normally don’t mind travelling but when you are in a normal sized car with four other people and you are stuck in the middle seat in the back for six plus hours, it’s the most comfortable of experiences. I, however do enjoy visiting my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon. I enjoy visiting both because they are both awesome at storytelling especially when it comes to family history.

After my grandpa, dad and two uncles visited my great aunt and uncle in eastern Oregon, we drove to Spokane, Washington to not only visit another great aunt but my grandma’s grave. It was nice seeing this great aunt but I was more grateful to visit my grandma’s grave. Not only did I see my great aunt and visit my grandma’s grave, I saw two friends who live in Spokane.

After traveling several hundred miles in two states I was extremely happy to get home on Monday (May 13th). I was happy to get home to my cat, Lil Gertie and sleep in my own bed. In fact, my cat, Lil Gertie, lectured me for a good five minutes. While I was out of town a neighbor who is a good friend watched Lil Gertie for me. I attempted to give him fifty dollars for his time watching, Lil Gertie, but he would only accept twenty five dollars. It’s great to have friends who will help you out when needed.

Going back to the topic of my therapist, I had a session with him. Unfortunately, I don’t remember it because I was in a dissociative state. He has been calling me daily to check in on me. Checking in on me on the daily basis is his way of being proactive and preventive of keeping me out of the hospital for psych reasons even though I am not suicidal or have urges to self harm. The reason why I would be in the hospital for psych ward would  be for the dissociative episodes which would leave me in a vulnerable state. I am all for keeping me out of the hospital as the hospital is not very fun.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Been In & Out of Dissociation Since Last Post

Good Morning, World!!! I remember post my blog however I do not remember most everything else due to dissociation. I am not a big fan of dissociation. In fact I think I am partially dissociating at the moment. I wish I wasn’t starting to dissociate again as I see my psychiatrist later this morning and then have appointments with my therapist and job coach (employment specialist) in early afternoon. I really want be “all there” when I am attending all my appointments today.

I don’t think I got much sleep last night as I am falling asleep as I write this post. Another clue that I din’t get much sleep last night is the picture I am coloring. Plus, the music I am listening to on Spotify is from my “Childhood Memories” playlist has a quarter of the list to play and that list is just slightly over twenty two hours of music. I am grateful for the music and the art that I have been coloring been coloring because if wasn’t for the music or art, I think I could have self harmed. No, I am not risk of self harming.

I am glad that I will be seeing my psychiatrist and therapist today. I am sure they both will have some concerns of what has been going on for a few weeks now. I just don’t like dissociation. I am also going to be taking my art work with me. Specifically, my coloring stuff. I, of course always carry some form of music with me.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope to blog again later today. Have a great day everyone and enjoy the nice sunny weather like I will here in Seattle. Peace Out, World!!!

Depressed on a Beautiful Sunny Monday

Good Morning, World!!! It is a beautiful Monday morning in Seattle and all I feel like doing is sleeping the day away due to the fact that my depression appears to be acting up. All I want to do is curl up in bed and just stay there. I am not sure why my depression is acting up but it is something to keep an eye on.

Since I am depressed and feel like sleeping and/or curled up in bed all day, I am in need of doing some good self care today. Self care that includes several basic things that people tend to take for granted. Things like eating. When I am depressed I tend to not eat which is not a good thing which means I personally need to focus on eating. Eating healthy yet comforting foods.

Another form of good self care for me is to do some art work. Specifically coloring. For me coloring is a type of mindfulness as well as meditation. When you color being mindful of what you are coloring is key. It is also a type of meditation as it can have a meditative aspect to it.

I do not have much more to say. I just know I need to eat breakfast as well as take a shower. I have not taken a shower since Wednesday evening and I know I am stinking. I am thinking I am going to have Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal. Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal is semi-healthy and very much a comfort food for me.

I think I am going to end this post as I really need to make sure I need to eat. Plus, I need to take a shower and go get my meds from the pharmacy. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am extremely appreciative of you reading my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day as well as a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

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Happy Friday, World!!! It has been a few days since I last blogged and I don’t even remember writing my last post. The dissociation is starting to become more frequent and the period of time that I am in a dissociative state is getting longer. This is quite concerning to both myself and my therapist.

In fact when I saw my therapist this past Tuesday (April 30th), we discussed the session we had on April 23rd as I was dissociated throughout that particular session and how an hour later I called apologizing for my appointment. I don’t remember calling much less going to my appointment with my therapist on April 23rd. My therapist was so concerned over that he was thinking about putting me on a 72 hour hold for an involuntarily hospitalization but decided to hold off on it to see what will happen. I am so grateful that he didn’t put me in the hospital involuntarily but it could still be an option for him if it continues especially if I end up self harming in a dissociative state. I am glad he was honest with me in regards to this as many therapist in the community mental health system don’t convey that information to their clients.

As concerning as my dissociation is at the moment, I have applied for a new job at another young adult shelter. I applied to another shelter due to the fact that it has my study hours than my current employer. The job I would be doing is supervising volunteers during their shift in the shelter. The best part of this is I still get to help young adult experiencing homelessness while mentoring volunteers as they to help the young adults.

Speaking of work, I love my current job for the most part. The only thing I really don’t like is that it is an on-call position at night and it is a twelve hour shift. I don’t mind it being at night or it being twelve hours but I never know when I am going to get called in and there might be more times were I have two days in a row of appointments and get called in like last night. I had appointments and classes all day yesterday as well as today and I worked last night. The only reason why I even said yes to last night (Thursday) is because my co-worker is in the ICU due to a blood clot and I had said no to three previous opportunities to work. So more or less I felt guilty and took the shift on guilt plus my co-worker being in the ICU isn’t exactly their fault.

Even though I was dead tired from working last night and being up since five in morning yesterday (Thursday) I still attended the art class this afternoon despite not getting any sleep. I think I mentioned that I am taking an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” It is a free class through a non-profit organization that helps low income individuals with being able to enjoy the arts. My therapist encouraged me to sign up for an art class and was able to get into the class I had chosen as my first choice. I am really enjoying the class thus far.

In fact the class really helped with some PTSD symptoms today. The PTSD symptoms that I experienced today was due to getting my first mammogram today and that was not only difficult but extremely painful. I am just glad I got it taken care of. In fact both my doctor and therapist checked with me in regards to the mammogram. Having so many medical appointments lately sucks but if it helps with current or potential health concerns I am all for it. I just don’t like having so many medical appointments.

I don’t have much more to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead of them. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. Happy Friday and Peace Out, World!!!

This is how I am when I’m starting to dissociate & I hope it’s educational for you as I fight against it.

Happy Monday and Good Evening, World!!! It is an absolutely, amazingly, beautiful day here in Seattle and I have been enjoying it to the best of my ability. Sadly, I am partly in reality and partly fighting against the dissociative state I am slowly getting in. Being is a dissociated state even a partial one is never good thing for me.

So, I went for a walk and a listened to some great music. As I was walking listening to music, I realized I was starting to dissociate and stopped in my tracks to go back home. As I walked back up I did a walking mindfulness and meditation exercise as I walked back home. As I walked through the door to my apartment my cat instantly knew something was wrong so she did was she needed to do and it helped great deal for me to get more it reality than I wasn’t in. Hell, I am still trying to get back into a hundred percent reality. Not sure why I am fighting so hard with the dissociation right now. I just want to enjoy the nice Seattle weather by taking a walk. I have done some mindfulness and meditation practices since I am hope and it is not help all that much at the moment. My cat is helping a great deal. Just focusing on her, my cat is quite helpful.

Now, I am just going to play some music and do some art. I will also play my flute. When I play my flute and/or do art, it helps me get out what I need to so I am able to be fully in reality and not in a dissociative state. Art and music always help. I might do some art outside since it is a beautiful weather day here in Seattle. I just cant go for a walk or I could forget how to get home and I don’t want that so that’s why I’m going to do art on this beautiful sunny day in Seattle in the community porch for the people who live in my apartment building.

Of course I will be spending more time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she appears to know how to help me when I am in a dissociative state. She is an amazing cat that has helped me a great deal with when I am in a true dissocive  state like I am now. I really don’t let myself go when I am writing. I guess now people can see how hard it is for me.

I am thinking I am needing to end this post so I can do my art and spend time with my cat. Have a great Monday everyone.I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World