Trying to Get to Sleep

Hello, World!!! It is nearly eleven at night here in Seattle with my cat, Billie Dean by my side. I’m having trouble going to sleep again. I just wish I knew why I have been having issues sleeping. It’s something to talk with my mental health and physical health teams about.

Anyway, I had an okay day today. I went to my grandpa’s home and did some of my laundry. I also helped my grandpa with some of his chores. He is 91 going on 92. I love my grandpa so much and am grateful for him everyday. He and my grandma helped my dad raise me.

The thing I’m planning on doing to help me relax enough to get to sleep. So, I am going to be watching Mr. Holland’s Opus which is a great movie that includes music. I love this movie and can watch it multiple times without getting sick of it.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you my reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Take a walk around the blog
  • Go to my grandpa’s house to spend time with him as well as do laundry 
  • Do workbooks relates to my recovery

Monday

  • Mindfulness medication practice
  • Virtual Doctors appointment
  •  Work
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Work on a workbook for my recovery

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Work on workbook that will help me with my recovery
  • Dinner with another friend

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Attend a 12 step prrotrom

Thursday

  • Mindfulness mindfulness practice
  • Walk around the block
  • Work
  • Work on a workbook that will help me with my recovery

Friday

  • Mindfulness mediation practice
  • Walks around the block
  • Work
  • Dinner with a friend

Saturday

  • Plain is to do nothing all and be lazy

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week that I do my weekly check-in. First and fore most I have been working from home due to the fact that I have been dealing with Covid-19. My work is wanting me to come back to the office at least once a week if not twice a week. So I go a Covid-19 test yesterday to see if it comes back negative which I hope it does because I am going stir crazy isolating because of Covid. On that note at least my employer has be very supportive. I consider myself that I am able to work from home when I am not so fatigue from having Covid-19.

On that note, my family and friends as well as my neighbors have supportive of me going through Covid-19. My family, friends and neighbors have been making sure I’ve been getting fed with food they make me. They also provide me with stuff like toilet paper and cleaning supplies. I’m grateful that I have people in my life that care about me and willing to make sure I am doing okay.

Going back to the work issue, I feel like I am lucky that I am able to have the luxury from home. Yes, I did have to take about week off because Covid-19 sucks shit and was so fatigue from it that even working from home was challenging. Again, I am happy that I am well enough to be able to work from home. Yes, I still fill shitty but at least I feel well enough go work from home and I am lucky to be able to work from home.

As far as my sleep goes, it sucks shit. I didn’t sleep well last night and ended up sleeping all day today. My sleep hygiene sucks right now. I am not sure why but I would like to blame having Covid-19. Weather or not Covid is the reason why my sleep schedule is so off.

I don’t have much more lack of sleep issue. I sadly slept all day today due to the lack of sleep I got last night. I really do not like when my sleep schedule is so out of wack but I realize that I will get back to a normal sleep schedule for myself.

I don’t have much more to say about my weekly check in. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, I would not be writing my blog. I greatly appreciate that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading in my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Apparently, Mr. Sandman Forgot to Stop by My Place

Good Saturday, Morning, World!!! It is five zero four (5:04) in the blasted morning here in Seattle area. In fact as I looked out the window it is currently foggy outside. In all honesty, I wish I was able to sleep despite liking fog when I don’t have to be out in it.

As far as my cat, Billie Dean, he is sound asleep. Something I wish I was doing at the moment. Sadly, Mr. Sandman forgot to stop by my place so I could get some sleep. I just would like to sleep a solid eight hours, preferably at night. I am however grateful that Billie, my cat, is still asleep or he would most likely be wanting to play. And as much I as enjoy playing with Billie, I am just way too tired to play with him at the moment which is why I am glad he is sound asleep.

Since I haven’t been able to sleep I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to the podcast Philosophize This.” Of course as I listen to this podcast, I am coloring. In fact I am coloring the creepy, morbid Disney Horror coloring book that I ordered off of Amazon. I’m hopingo to show you updates on the pictures I am coloring.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Time of Night in Seattle

Good Very Early in the Morning from my corner of the world known as Seattle!!! I am not really sure why I am unable to sleep tonight but it is frustrating as hell. I have been doing both coping skills as well as doing self care. They are helping a little bit but not as much as I wish they would help.

One of the things I have been dealing with is increased anxiety , PTSD and depression which sucks shit especially when they all decide to come all at once. One of things that appear to be helping it doing mindfulness meditation practices. It helps me stay grounded.

Another thing that helps me stay grounded in my so very smart kitty, Billie Dean. He seams to know when I need the extra support and makes sure I don’t leave his site. Oh how I love Billie and the connection we have. I am so grateful that he chose me. He is a great cat and am glad he is my cat.

Something else I have been doing it coloring. No, I am not coloring the Disney horror coloring book at the moment. I am coloring a coloring page I got from Stuff2Color.com. They have some awesome coloring pictures. In fact a colored one for my grandpa and framed it. I gave it to him for Christmas. He was happy about it and put it up on the wall for all to see.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

Not Sorry About My Not So Rated G Post

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! Or at least it’s very early in the morning here in my corner of the world, known as Seattle. Apparently, some readers got offended by my last post regarding coloring a morbid coloring book that is all Disney characters. I received an email from WordPress that it disturbed some of my readers but it doesn’t break any rules or community standards. All they wanted was me to put a “Trigger Warning” at the beginning of the post. I totally understand about getting triggered by things and when I do, I talk with my mental health treatment team as well as other who are in recovery. I also use the skills I learned through therapy when I am triggered. Am I sorry the post triggered other, no not really. I feel bad that I triggered others but I’m not sorry about it as it could be a way for people to learn to cope by using coping skill that help them. For me coloring this coloring book is a way for me to heal from some things that are Disney related. For me coloring and doing a morbid coloring book is a form of self care and healing for me.

As far a the morbid Disney coloring book, it appears that my cat, Billie would like to help with me at times. He doesn’t seem bothered by the morbid Disney coloring book. I love my cat and how he likes my morbid sense of humor.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading it. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me that you read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Disturbing Way to Start a New Year by Coloring; Do a Disney Horror Coloring Book

Saw fart this is what I have what I have done with my start of my Disney Horror coloring books.

So, I ordered a morbid Disney graphic coloring book off of Amazon to have as I have love hate with relationship with Disney. I was going to see if my clients would want to do them as well. I quickly realized it would not be great for my clients to do. So I am have decided I will work on this particular horrific Disney coloring book myself and share my progress with you my reader. So here is the start of the first picture. I hope you like it so far. It will get more morbid as I do more pictures. I hope I can share this on a regular basis as I am sure the farther along I get in the coloring book the more morbid it gets. This is not the Disney I knew growing up near Disneyland. I’m pretty sure this is not the Disney any of knew in our childhood.

I don’t know have much more to say expect to say thank you for reading my blog plots. I appreciate it from my things that you read blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Thank you again from reading my blog.. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Random Middle of the Night Post

Good Middle of the night, World!!!!. I have not been able to sleep for various reason which includes insomnia and depression. Honestly, I think I could have some dependence on Ativan. I don’t want to have a dependence of Ativan because I don’t need any more issues than I already have.

I did email my doctor just in case because I don’t want another issue on top of other issues I already have. I know I may be a bit paranoid but I rather ge on the cautious side.

I do not have much more to say about this particular blog post. I do want to thankyou for reading my blog. I hope you have a great night. Peace Out. World!!!

Covid-19 Testing Frustration w/a Good Out Come

I’m not sure how I should feel right now. Covid-19 is hitting pretty heard and dealing with isolation and quarantine doesn’t help with the depression symptoms a great deal. On the plus note I am feeling better regarding the Covid-19. Being isolated sucks. At least I have my cat, Billie Dean keeping me company. I’m also have friends and family checking in by telephone and virtually via Zoom.

The thing that gets me frustrated it that I can’t seem to get a Covid-19 test to see if I am still positive. At least I was able to get through the urgent care my clinic helps with. Being isolated doesn’t exactly help with my depression symptoms times as isolation is a major trigger for the depression.

One the plus side being able to work from home has been helpful as it gives me some human interaction. Not the type I want but it’s a form of human interaction. Plus, I have my cat Billie Dean to keep me company. I love the fact the Billie gives me lots of loves and cuddles.

I am also grateful for my friends, family and colleagues for checking up on me when they did not have to do do. I have an awesome support system.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do have to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom or my heart for reading it.

The Never Ending Thursday

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today feels like a really long Thursday. A Thursday that feels like the never ending storying. I think it feel like this is because I am still dealing with some symptoms of Covid-19. I am especially dealing with the fatigue, the brain fog, as well as the continuous sleepiness and migraines. At least the diarrhea is finally going away.

Oh a plus note, my employer has been very supportive with the Covid stuff as well as other stuff that might come up. My employer is extremely supportive and appreciates us employees. You don’t get that and many employees.

The best part of all this is I get to work from home and still get paid. And my colleague at home, my cat Billie Dean like to help. Sometimes his helpfulness can be a hinderance but at least my cat brings smiles to clients face and I say that is worth the hinderances. I do have to say Billie is my favorite colleague.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciate that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!