A Full Monday, I Had

Hello, World!!! It is twelve midnight which means it is officially Tuesday in my corner of the world. I am wanting to share with you how my Monday went as it ended better than how it started which I am grateful for.

My Monday did not start off exactly how I had wanted. The building fire alarm went off at five o’clock in the morning startling everyone awake. So, I put Lil Gertie in her carrier and went down to the lobby. As I got to the lobby the fire department was arriving so I of course let the fire fighters in. The fire fighters did a sweep of the building to see where there could be a potential fire at and then attempted to reset the fire alarm. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to reset the fire alarm which meant they had to do another sweep of the building. Long story short they couldn’t reset the fire alarm to be able to turn it off. They couldn’t let anyone back to their apartments till someone from the apartment building management and/or maintenance showed up. Sadly, when the fire department called them at six nobody showed up until the building office opened up at eight o’clock in the morning. It really sucked for everybody especially all the cats in carriers because they were in them for three hours.

When we were finally able to get back to our apartments at eight o’clock in the morning, I let Lil Gertie out of her carrier and gave her wet food. She usually gets a can in the evening but she deserved to have an extra can today. After giving Lil Gertie some wet food I got ready for the day and then left to go to my appointment with my therapist.

Since I ended up arriving early to my appointment, I hang out in the day treatment area for about an hour. During my appointment with my therapist we discussed my birthday and turning forty. That led to my therapist asking some questions about my childhood. Questions that I am grateful he asked as he received some insight about how my childhood was. After I was sharing about some parts of my childhood he responded by “you sure did experience a great deal of trauma as a child.” In response to his comment I said, “Oh that was the easy shit I went through unless you count going to Disneyland.” He chuckled at my response as he knew I grew up near Disneyland. In face I found it cool that he chuckled as my response was suppose to be a little funny despite having a serious side to it. I am happy that my therapist got some insight of how my childhood was even though it wasn’t the most traumatic part of my childhood. Yes, it was traumatic but the the most severe trauma I was in.

After my appointment with my therapist, I attended art group. We did a self care tree. We drew and wrote in leaves what we did for self care which was a great reminder for everyone to do good self care and that it looks differently to people. I love art group so much. Art has a way of helping me express things I am unable to express.

After therapy and art group I got home and spent a couple of hours chilling with Lil Gertie, my cat. After a couple of hours I went downstairs to the community room to hang out with neighbors who I have become friends with. We had a potluck dinner. All the food was delicious. After dinner we then play a couple of games. We played Jenga, Phase 10, and Uno. We all had a great time spending about five hours together.

Now, I am back in my apartment writing this post and chilling out watching The Tonight Show. My cat, Lil Gertie is actually sleeping in her cat bed which means she wants me to go to bed. Hell, I am tired so I guess that is what I am going to do next.

I do not have much more to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a goodnight everyone. Don’t let the bedbugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!

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Dealing With PTSD

Good Morning, World!!! I am blogging once again. Yes, so soon after my last post. I am struggling with some PTSD symptoms. Symptoms that are related to childhood trauma.

Blogging about what is going on can be helpful to me. This is one of those moments where I think it is helpful for me and I hope it can be helpful to at least one other person in the world. It is my hope that when I post about my struggles that at least one person in the world doesn’t feel so alone.

I think I am going to work on one of my workbooks before heading to my doctors appointment. Working on my workbooks will help with the PTSD as well as the anxiety that goes with me going to the doctors today.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Much Sh*t On My Mind

Hello, World!!! I don’t know what to think right now. I have a lot of shit on my mind. I don’t know why I am having all this stuff going through my head.

I’m having trouble sleeping because of the shit going through my head. One thing I can’t seem to get out of my head is the trauma related stuff. Why can’t the PTSD give me a break? Especially, when I am wanting to go to sleep.

I am also thinking a lot about my grandma. I miss her so very much. I wish she was still here with me and my family. I know she is watching over me and is my guardian angel. She still looking out for me or I hope she still is.

I am also thinking about the money issues I am having because social security won’t make a decision about my case. I am still disabled. My disability didn’t all of a sudden disappear; although it would very nice if it did.

On the humorous side of things, I am also thinking about the Star Wars book I am reading. Of all things that I am thinking about I find this the best thing or the least anxiety provoking or painful.

May the Fourth Be With You

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up this morning from a nightmare. A nightmare that is a symptom of PTSD. Dealing with childhood drama as an adult is difficult to do but it is possible to lessen the pain with a lot of therapy.

I may have woken up from a nightmare but I got about six hours of sleep. I owe the amount of sleep due my new weight blanket. I am in love with the weighted blanket.

Today is May 4th and is a day Star Wars fans celebrate here in the United States. May the Fourth be with you represents May the force be with you from Star Wars. I love Star Wars.

Thank you for reading. May the fourth be with you. Peace Out, World!!!

Looks Like No Sleep For Me

Hello, World!!! It is exactly twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I am having trouble sleeping once again. Which is no surprise to me. I suspect that recent trauma as well as insomnia are the culprits once again.

It looks like I will be doing what works best for me to help with the anxiety I deal with when I am unable to sleep.  Tonight I think I’ll read. I am not sure if I’ll be reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb or Wonder Woman comic books. I’m most likely going to end up reading both.

Another thing I am most likely going to do if I have yet another sleepless night is my workbooks. Most likely the mindfulness workbook as I did my other workbook last night. Mindfulness has been quite helpful for me and my recovery.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Oh So Elusive Thing Called Sleep

Hello, World!!! Once again I am having another night of what looks like of no sleep. Sleep is a major part of my recovery and to living everyday life. I guess that I am getting frustrated that I am not being able to sleep. Sleep is key for me to be stable.

Stable to where I can function as a productive member of society. Society that expects people like myself to work. Hell, I expect me to work because I know I am able to do so however my symptoms are getting the fucking what of being a functioning adult.

Now that I am done venting, I am going to attempt to get some sleep. Thank you so much for reading. Goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

Monday Evening Ramblings

Good Evening, World!!! I am wanting to blog right now but having some issues at the moment. Part of it is genuine writers block while the other part is due to mental health symptoms. Symptoms that are quite bothersome and annoying as hell.

I did see Gilbert today. We discussed the recent trauma I experienced. We also discussed the art work I did in Art Group today. He really likes the fact that art helps me open up about stuff that I need to discuss to help me with my recovery.

For me finding way to help me with my recovery is quite important to me. That’s why I am grateful that Gilbert is invested in my recovery. I think he is more so at the moment than I am but that is okay with me for now.

Thanks for reading. It’s much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!