Monthly Archives: November 2021

Just a Bunch of Rambling

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Hanukkah to those who are Jewish and celebrating this miracle holiday. In all honesty I get the feeling this particular blog post will go in all sorts of different directions as I seem scatter brained today.

Surprisingly, as I type this particular blog I am listening Christmas music. I guess it’s the season to do so. At least it is bringing me joy as I type this blog. Listening to Christmas music brought me joy at work as well. No, Christmas music was not playing when I was in session with clients. I guess the Christmas music helped me be productive with work today or at least the note taking part of my job.

Speaking of work, I have some pretty awesome colleagues. My small group team, I am a member of is an amazing group of people. I adore all my colleagues especially the ones that are on my small team. I really do like my supervisor. She is awesome.

After my work shift ended I decided to continue to listen to Christmas music while doing art work. My cat, Billie Dean wanted to help. So, some of my artwork is quite a bit more unusual than normal. I really love my cat and his “helpfulness” with the art work.

My depression has been acting up which is why I’ve been making some art work while listening to Christmas music. I am planning on giving my art work away as gifts during this holiday season to my friends and family.

I am grateful for the friends and family I have in my life. They truly do love and care about me. Billie, my cat is now trying to help me type this particular blog post. I feel the love from my colleagues, friends, family and my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah to those of you who are celebrating it. Peace Out, World!!!

The Start of the 2021 Holiday Season

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Hanukkah, World!!! Yesterday evening (Sunday, November 28, 2021) was the start of Hanukkah. I am personally not Jewish and I enjoy the meaning of the holiday as it was a miracle. Don’t know what to say as a non Jewish person but I do know it was a miracle and wouldn’t be able to share the story of the miracle which deserves some who is more familiar to share the miracle. Happy Hanukkah to the readers who are Jewish.

Honestly, this past week has been both emotionally and physically draining for me. It was physically draining for me because deep cleaned the bathroom as I let it get really gross and disgusting. Cleaning helped me feel a since of accomplishment even though I missed my cat, Billie Dean wasn’t around to “help” me with cleaning which isn’t helpful so he went my grandpa’s as I cleaned the bathroom as well a couple of corners in my living room.

The physical stuff was due to cleaning. The emotional stuff was missing my grandma almost four years ago as well as loosing my last cat Lil Gertie two years ago which landed on Thursday, November 28, 2019 which happened to be Thanksgiving Day that year (2019). The other emotion stuff was attending a goodbye dinner for my cat’s Billie’s last vet, Dr. B. Sadly, she had to make a tough decision close forever.

Speaking of vets, Billie Dean saw his new vet today. He tolerated a couple of things and I think that is a good thing. This vet and I are going to do our best to keep Billie a healthy quality of life which is why this vet wants to see Billie twice a year. When I adopted Billie, I knew there were dental issues and upper respiratory infection (URI). So, I knew there were going to be issues. I’m happy that I made the decision to have Dr. B (Billie’s old vet) take some bloodwork done while Billie was under to get his teeth cleaned. I really miss Dr. B even though the new vet is great. Billie was not quite sure of the new vet but sure in the hell impressed with her.

In fact I partly took today off from work to take care of Billie. The other part was give me some me time. Me time was taking Billie to meet his new vet who is awesome. The other me time I have been doing is spending time with Billie while I do some art while listening to Christmas music. I think it’s okay to place Christmas music now that Thanksgiving is over.

I know there are many other holidays this time of year and hope to find the time to blog about them. I don’t want to exclude out when it comes to holidays being celebrated. I want to make sure I can learn about other religions so I can share about them when it is time to celebrate them. I will do my best to post other holidays celebrate this time of year.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog as if you weren’t I would not be writing it. I really appreciate you the read my blog as if it wasn’t for you I would not be writing it. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah and Peace Out, World!!!

Being Angery in Grief While Doing Self Care

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am angry. I am angry that I am still grieving over my grandma almost four years ago as well as grieving the two year anniversary of my last cat, Lil Gertie tomorrow. Tomorrow (Thursday) is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I miss both my grandma and my last cat Lil Gertie. I know anger is part of grief but I wish it wasn’t part of grief.

I am missing my current cat, Billie Dean at the moment. Billie is spending about a week with my grandpa and uncles as I do some deep cleaning of my apartment. Deep cleaning with chemicals that could be damaging to both cats and humans. Anyway, I miss Billie very much and I love him so much and hopes he misses me.

On that note, I will be going to grandpa’s tomorrow which is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I get to spend it with my dad, grandpa, two uncles and of course my beloved cat, Billie. I’m really happy that I will be spending time with those who love me or try to love me to the best of their ability.

Since my emotions have been all over the place today especially in anger mode, I’ve been doing some self care. I’ve been listening to a podcast on philosophy and I am happy that I am being educated on the topic of philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” and I find it very educational. I love being educated on something I am no knowledgeable in.

While listening “Philosophize This,” I have been doing some art work. Specifically, the type of artwork I am doing is coloring. Coloring and listening to a philosophy podcast has helped me deal with my emotions of today. I’m not so angry at the moment. I am still sad because I miss my last cat, Lil Brooke as well as my grandma, I know that they love me. I also know that doing art work and listening to a podcast on philosophy has be helpful to improve my emotions and lessen my anger. I still have people and my cat, Billie that love me.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I wouldn’t be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Not So Normal Wednesday but So Far So Good With Some Sad Moments

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am off work and have been for just over three hours now. My employer decided to close the agency I work for early today. So, I work for four hours and get paid for eight hours. I’m complaining about working for four hours and getting paid for eight hours.

Anyway, right now I am home alone without my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is at my grandpa’s house so I can do some major deep cleaning to where I will be using chemicals not good for cat. Billie will be coming home on Saturday. So, I did some cleaning right after I was done with work. I did more cleaning and chores than I thought I would do after work.

After work and house cleaning I went for a walk. A walk that led me to my volunteer job to spend fifteen minutes with some cats since my cat, Billie is with my grandpa. It felt good to get some kitty time. After visiting some cats, I walked and picked up some incense which helps me with my self care. After picking up some incense, I walked to the bank and got some cash as well as some quarters for laundry. The walk helped a great deal.

I am now home listening to a podcast about philosophy with incense burning as part of my self care which is even helping me more. I am listening to the philosophy podcast “Philosophize This” as I learn a great deal from this podcast.

Doing my self care today is key for me as tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day which mark exactly two years since my last cat, Lil Brooke crossed over the rainbow bridge. I really miss Lil Brooke with all my heart. On that note if it wasn’t for loosing her, I wouldn’t have been come a volunteer at PAWS Cat City here in Seattle. I also wouldn’t have had the chance to adopt my current cat Billie Dean.

Speaking of my cat Billie, he is at my grandpa’s right now and tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day which means, I will be at my grandpa’s celebrating Thanksgiving with my grandpa, dad, my two uncles and of course my cat Billie. I am looking forward to seeing Billie tomorrow and then coming home and deep cleaning my apartment.

Despite the multiple emotions of today, it has over all been a good day with some sad moments. I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have you all have a great rest of your Wednesday. If you live in the United States I hope you have a great Thanksgiving tomorrow. Peace Out, World!!

Too Early to be Awake Even for a Work Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is four o’clock in the morning, Seattle time which is way too early for me to be awake especially since I do not start work till eight o’clock in morning, Seattle time. I am blaming the treatment resistant insomnia I have. I am missing my cat Billie right now but he is on my grandpa’s and will see both Billie and my grandpa tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

At least it is only a four hour work day at my job today and I get paid for a full eight hours which I am happy about. I love my job and how I feel supported my by supervisors and colleagues. I work with some amazing people.

I am not sure what else to discuss in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart fro reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Ramblings About Work, Thanksgiving, Family, Food, Love & Cats

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night on a Tuesday in my neck of the woods; known as Seattle. I love my job more than I could have ever imagined. My work really takes care of it’s employees. In fact my work is closing the agency at twelve noon which is early tomorrow (Wednesday) due to the Thanksgiving holiday on Thursday. My work is even closed Thursday which is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States as well as closed on Friday the day after Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for my work doing this for myself and my colleagues and we still get paid a full eight hours for tomorrow (Wednesday) and we only work for four hours tomorrow. On that note I am personally taking the Monday after Thanksgiving off to have a longer weekend.

Anyway, right now my cat, Billie Dean is at my grandpa’s and uncles house and has been since Sunday. The reason being is because I want to do a deeper clean than I normally do in my bathroom since that’s where Billie’s litter box is. I will do this after I get off work tomorrow at twelve noon. I really do miss Billie but I have been have video chats with Billie with the help of my grandpa and uncle. I love my cat Billie and can’t wait to see him on Thanksgiving Day.

I will be spending Thanksgiving Day with my family. Specifically, my grandpa, dad and two uncles on my dad’s side and let not forget my cat Billie will be there. We will be eating a lot of food on Thanksgiving like many Americans do on Thanksgiving. I am happy that I will be around loved ones on Thanksgiving Day eating way too much food.

I will also be doing something I have been doing on the daily basis and getting my form of education of philosophy by listening to a podcast on the topic. The philosophy podcast I am being educated on is “Philosophize This.” I am making sure I listen to at least one episode a day till I get up to day on the most recent episode. I try to listen to two to three episodes but sometimes I don’t have enough time to do so.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in morning in my corner of the world which is Seattle. I must have falling asleep early as I was listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I sadly have to go back to last podcast I l last remembered and I am okay with this. I never hurts to relearn things. My worry is being able to go back to sleep due to insomnia and falling asleep too early.

Since I most likely will not be able to go back to sleep, I have other plans. Plans to attend that is a twelve step program that focuses on how to change yourself and not change others. It also has a lot of recovery focused language in this particular twelve step program unlike other’s I have been attended. I am happy that I have decided to go back to this twelve step meetings as it helps me a great with my own recovery.

I just ordered Taco Bell from Grubhub. I’m surprised they let me order this late. I just hope I get the order for this food as I am hungry as hell. Last time I ate was lunch time which was over twelve hours ago. Anyway lets hope it gets here before the meeting I want to attend online starts.

Lets not forget about my cat, Billie Dean. He has been very sweet and loving since I got home from work today. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression really badly as of lately. Billie has be so much more cuddly than he normally is and I am appreciative of it. I love my cat, Billie so much and am beyond grateful that he is in my life. I know Billie the Kat loves me unconditionally and I soak up that unconditional love as much as I can.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post but I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

One of Them Days

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been one of those days where depression and anxiety are both acting up. It’s not a good time for either of them to act up when you work with clients who are in crisis mode. Any way, my supervisors have been very supportive of debriefing about these clients. I love the people I work with but some days are just more challenging than other days.

Anyway, after work I checked in with friends as my cat Billie Dean sat on my lap cuddling. Having my friends give me a reality check and the unconditional love of my cat, Billie has really helped me.

Another thing that has helped me is while my cat cuddled with me, I listened to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I am learning a great deal about philosophy and feel like I am getting a small education about philosophy.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my heart. Peace Out, World!!!

Disappointment of the Christmas Holiday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I am greatly disappointed right now. My greatest wish that I have had since I was three was that both sides of my family would celebrate together with me. Sadly, this has never happened. My paternal grandfather over to drive me and my dad’s side to my moms side of the family to give me the one wish I have wanted since I was three, to have my family spend time with me so I wouldn’t have to do all the traveling. Sadly, my mom, brother and two uncles on my moms side refuse to get vaccinated while my dad, grandpa and two uncles on my dads side our vaccinated. Hell, I am vaccinated. My mom’s side doesn’t want to get vaccinated for personal reasons and I respect that. My grandpa isn’t willing to put his health or the health of my dad as risk. So I am very disappointed that other peoples choices are effecting the one Christmas wish I have wanted since I was three. I respect both sides of my families decision with their health choices. I just wish they would realize my Christmas wish is for both sides of my family to get together. Something that hasn’t happened since I was two years old. I am now 42. It’s be 40 years since both sides of my family were together for Christmas.

It’s very disappointing the my family has continued to not make my life long wish not come true and I am “the selfish one” for wanting this since I was three years old when my parents divorced the summer I was three years old. It should wasn’t my choice my parents divorced. I am lucky that my parents have remained friends.

I guess for me this pandemic know as Covid-19 has put my greatest Christmas wish to a halt. I respect everyone’s choices regarding their health I am disappointed my greatest Christmas hope isn’t going happened once again.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Wants me To Learn & Not Sleep

Posted on by Gertie

I am getting a bit frustrated. I can not sleep even if my life depended on it which in a way sleep is a part of being able to to function in daily life. I just really want to sleep and want to sleep now. At least the Seattle rain is soothing me and helping lessening the anxiety that I am dealing with at the moment.

On that note I have been being creative by doing art. Specifically, I have been coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me to be able to lessen the anxiety I am dealing with. As I have been coloring, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” is giving me an education I never received in school, specifically high school since I never went to college. Being able to be creative by doing art via coloring and listening to a podcast on philosophy is helpful for me to get through a sleepless night.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has be quite helpful with keeping the anxiety down. Billie is such a love bug and I love him so very much. I am grateful that he is in my life. I just whish I could sleep. I guess it’s time to cuddle with Billie my cat once again.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom from my heart for reading my blog. Wish me luck that I can get some sleep. Peace Out, World!!!