Tag Archives: PTSD

Brief Naps In Between Awakenings Due to Various Reasons

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having trouble sleeping for a variety of reasons. The two main reasons are due to Migraines and PTSD on top of having insomnia. All three suck equally as much, I just wish it wasn’t happening at the same time because I really want to be able to go to work tomorrow. At least I don’t have to be at work till 12:00 noon. I really love my job but I have missed a lot of it due to being sick or due to disability reasons. I just don’t want to miss another day of work especially since I am not past my sixth month probationary period even though I do most of my work on time especially my notes.

Since I have been having trouble sleeping due to PTSD, Insomnia and migraines, I have been cuddling with my cat, Billie as well as doing some art work. I have been doing some coloring which is a pretty semi easy part as it has some challenging aspects to it. As far as the Diamond art goes it appears to be simple but is more challenging than expected especially when you are just learning how to do it. I am enjoying the Diamond art despite being challenging at first.

Of course the art is helping with me being able to go back to sleep despite how short the sleep can be. Any amount of sleep is very appreciative on my end. Billie, my cat is quite helpful with my sleep.I think I am going to attempt to go back to sleep. I hope everyone has a good Monday ahead of you and enjoy your three day weekend.

Before ending this post if my insomnia, migraines and PTSD continue, I am going to ask if I can work a partial day from home and hope to use flex time for the rest of the day. Worst case scenario I call in sick which is most likely unlikely. But it is better to ask than not to ask because if I ask, I am more likely to get the answer I like than if I don’t ask. Well I do not have much more to say so thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

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Out of Work Sick (again); Possibly Anxiety Related

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am out sick again today because I am vomiting again. At least I know the vomiting is from the symptoms of my Anxiety, PTSD and Depression. I am really hoping that I can go back to work tomorrow. In fact I am slightly fearful that I could get fired for missing so many days but I am part of a union so since I have not been discussed about missing so many days of work I don’t think I will get fired. Plus my supervisors are pretty awesome.

Even though I fear getting in trouble for missing a lot of days, I am grateful that my supervisors promote self care. My self care today is of course cuddling with my beloved cat, Billie. Billie appears to be helping a great deal with my anxiety and depression which is helping the lessening of the vomiting. This is why I think the vomiting is anxiety, PTSD and depression related because I don’t have the normal symptoms that come with vomiting such as a fever or stomach upset or nausea.

Another way I plan on doing self care today is reading an awesome book called “Don’t Open The Door.” I really like the book and the author is Allison Brennan. Once I am done with this book, I hope to read another book she has written. I love reading books by authors that catch my attention right from the first two or three chapters. Of course when reading, my cat Billie cuddles with me which is a great form of self care.

Of course besides cuddling with my cat Billie as I read, I will be doing some art work. I of course will be coloring two giant posters. I will also start doing Diamond art. The Diamond art will be a bit more complicated to do but well worth it as I have had friends with Diamond art and they came out beautifully. It will take a lot of patients doing the diamond art but I think it will be well worth it.

Since this is a day of safe care to help reduce the anxiety provoked vomiting , I hope to go back to work tomorrow. I love my job and enjoy it immensely, Self care is necessary for both mental health and physical health. Just grateful for doing self care.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my post. It is greatly appreciated from the end of things that you read on my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Cuddle Time With Cat While Reading

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I have been home sick today due to vomiting. I slept for a few hours and woke up during early afternoon hours. After waking up from a nap I did some self reflection and realized that part of the reason I was vomiting was due to having a slight bout of depression and some pretty severe PTSD symptoms. With this revelation, I am determined to go into work tomorrow.

On that note, as I mentioned in my last post, I slept for a while. A much needed sleep that helped me feel better with the vomiting as well as the depression and PTSD. Since being up and about in my apartment, I took a shower and ate. Since taking a shower and eating, I have been cuddling with my cat, Billie and reading a book called “Don’t Open The Door.” I’m only on chapter six but it a great book. It is a suspenseful thriller book so far. As much as I love reading with my cat, Billie curled up on my lap, I wish I could be reading outside because the weather in Seattle right now is pretty awesome. It is a perfect sunny day that is 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Reading outside on a day like this is one of my favorite things to do but reading with my cat snuggled in my lap is pretty awesome.

As far as my depression and PTSD goes, I need to get back into the things that I know will help and do them on the regular basis like I used to. The first thing is to go for walks every morning to help my mind in a good place. Secondly, to do a morning mindfulness meditation to put my head in a good peaceful place. Thirdly, to do a mindfulness meditation practice before bed to help rewind from the day. I will restart this tomorrow and I know it works if I do it on the regular basis.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read on my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog,, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Struggling & Making an Effort to Feel Better Emotionally

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’ve been struggling with PTSD and Depression the last couple of weeks. Partly because I lost my new job and mainly due to some traumatic events in my life that don’t count losing a job. I’ve been applying for new jobs because I need the money to pay the bills even though I know of resources I can go to to help.

I’ve been applying to jobs in fast food even thought I don’t want to work fast food or retail but I need the money to pay the bills. I would rather work as a peer specialist or in the human service feild but right now a job is job and I can’t be too picky right so I can pay bills.

Things that I plan on doing are DBT skills and new hobbies like Latch hooking or attempting to teach myself. I also plan on doing some art by coloring and reading some books. And of course reading some books. I also have a twenty minute check in via phone with my therapist later today. Last but not least doing art work with coloring and spending time with my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog and hope I’m not boring anyone of you. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

An Apprehensive Type of Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I’m not sure why I am so apprehensive today but I am. Maybe it is because of the call I just got from a former employer asking me if I’m still up for the interview. Does this mean they chose someone else or does this mean I’m the only one willing to take the job.

Plus my cat appears to not be feeling well. It might be his teeth or he could be picking up on my depression or maybe both. Animals can do that. I’m also worried about money due to not having any type of income.

I do not have much more to say except thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Middle of the Night World or at least it here in Seattle. I ordered some crafting stuff from Amazon. Specifically, I ordered Latch Hook crafting. Not sure how well, I’ll do at it but its worth trying. I am getting impatient for them to arrive even though I order most of them yesterday (Monday, September 5th) and some will arrive sometime today, September 6th.

I’m hoping that I can finish two or three to donate to a local animal shelter to action off during a fundraising event. Not sure how they will turn out but I would love to help in anyway I can and learn a new craft while doing it.

Another thing I hope doing Latch Hook can help improve my depression and PTSD as well as my other mental health diagnosis and symptoms. I really wish I wasn’t laid off as it would be helpful for my mental health symptom.

As far as my cat, Billie, he has been attached to me today. I think he is picking up on my anxiety. I love my cat so much and how he knows when to comfort me..

I want to thank you for ready blog. I don’t have much more to say. Just thank you for reading my blog..

Unemployment Sucks; Family & Friends Rock

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s evening time here in Seattle and I am feeling a little depressed while dealing with some PTSD. I have been sleeping off and on all day due to the depression and PTSD. Personally, I think being unemployed is was is helping the depression a little bit. I really need a job to help keep myself busy which help with the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis.

On the plus side when I haven’t been sleeping most of the day family and friends have been checking up on me. Some of my friends and neighbors have been feeding me. My grandpa gave me money to buy some art and crafting supplies to keep myself busy and hopefully awake during the day. So, I got some coloring stuff like colored pencils and markers as well as some of those giant and detailed coloring posters. I also got some crafting stuff as well. I got some latch hook crafting. I’ve never done latch hook so I want to try something knew and who knows I might have some done before the holidays to give as gift. Of course 98% of the latch hook stuff I’m get to make happen to be cats which isn’t surprising since I own a cat. Actually, I feel like my cat is more like a family member that me owning him.

As far as the unemployment part of life they are being challenging right now. I am on the job hunt and applying for jobs and getting interviews. It’s just the waiting game on hearing back if I’m going to get an interview or a job. Patience is not my virture.

I don’t have much else to say except my cat Billie is wanting to sit on my lap and my laptop is getting in his way. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So , thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Never too Early to be Up for Cat Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!! It is six o’clock in morning in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I don’t have to be up till 9:00 for a 9:30 appointment with my doctor as I don’t start work till twelve noon on Tuesdays. But I am up at six o’clock in my morning because my cat is wanting some cuddle time. Maybe it’s because my PTSD and Anxiety symptoms are high at the moment my depression is at a low grade level at the moment.

As much as I wish I was still asleep, I am grateful for my cuddles with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is famous for his cuddle especially when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I did have some nightmares last night which increased the anxiety and the PTSD but am grateful for the Billie cuddles to start of the day even if it is earlier than normal for my Tuesday work schedule. I love my cat and how he provides me emotional support.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good very early Morning, World!!! Sadly I can not sleep at the moment due to insomnia and PTSD. Having both really sucks shit. Right now I feel like listening to my Childhood Memories Play list of music to help me get relaxed enough to get back to sleep. Having insomnia and PTSD sucks and all I want is sleep.

At least the Childhood Memories Playlist songs are helping along with my cat Billie helping me with his unconditional love. I love my cat so much. I really thing the music and my cat will help me get back to sleep.

I don’t have much more do to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Phuck Getting Sleep Tonight

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! Apparently it appears I am not getting a good night sleep tonight because I have neighbors that a physically fighting on my hallway floor. On top of that other neighbors are pulling the building the fire alarm. I am tired and tired has phucking hell. All the shit that is happening is trigging my PTSD. I am tired as hell and a phucking cranky buck it. I just wish Seattle Housing Authority (SHA), The Seattle Fire Department as well as the Seattle Police would do something. People do need to work and being a cranky bucket is not a way to start the day.

I don’t have much to say. Thank you for listening to my rants especially about my neighbors.