Struggling & Making an Effort to Feel Better Emotionally

Good Afternoon, World!!! I’ve been struggling with PTSD and Depression the last couple of weeks. Partly because I lost my new job and mainly due to some traumatic events in my life that don’t count losing a job. I’ve been applying for new jobs because I need the money to pay the bills even though I know of resources I can go to to help.

I’ve been applying to jobs in fast food even thought I don’t want to work fast food or retail but I need the money to pay the bills. I would rather work as a peer specialist or in the human service feild but right now a job is job and I can’t be too picky right so I can pay bills.

Things that I plan on doing are DBT skills and new hobbies like Latch hooking or attempting to teach myself. I also plan on doing some art by coloring and reading some books. And of course reading some books. I also have a twenty minute check in via phone with my therapist later today. Last but not least doing art work with coloring and spending time with my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog and hope I’m not boring anyone of you. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

An Apprehensive Type of Day

Good Morning, World!!! I’m not sure why I am so apprehensive today but I am. Maybe it is because of the call I just got from a former employer asking me if I’m still up for the interview. Does this mean they chose someone else or does this mean I’m the only one willing to take the job.

Plus my cat appears to not be feeling well. It might be his teeth or he could be picking up on my depression or maybe both. Animals can do that. I’m also worried about money due to not having any type of income.

I do not have much more to say except thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Happy Middle of the Night World or at least it here in Seattle. I ordered some crafting stuff from Amazon. Specifically, I ordered Latch Hook crafting. Not sure how well, I’ll do at it but its worth trying. I am getting impatient for them to arrive even though I order most of them yesterday (Monday, September 5th) and some will arrive sometime today, September 6th.

I’m hoping that I can finish two or three to donate to a local animal shelter to action off during a fundraising event. Not sure how they will turn out but I would love to help in anyway I can and learn a new craft while doing it.

Another thing I hope doing Latch Hook can help improve my depression and PTSD as well as my other mental health diagnosis and symptoms. I really wish I wasn’t laid off as it would be helpful for my mental health symptom.

As far as my cat, Billie, he has been attached to me today. I think he is picking up on my anxiety. I love my cat so much and how he knows when to comfort me..

I want to thank you for ready blog. I don’t have much more to say. Just thank you for reading my blog..

Unemployment Sucks; Family & Friends Rock

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s evening time here in Seattle and I am feeling a little depressed while dealing with some PTSD. I have been sleeping off and on all day due to the depression and PTSD. Personally, I think being unemployed is was is helping the depression a little bit. I really need a job to help keep myself busy which help with the symptoms of my mental health diagnosis.

On the plus side when I haven’t been sleeping most of the day family and friends have been checking up on me. Some of my friends and neighbors have been feeding me. My grandpa gave me money to buy some art and crafting supplies to keep myself busy and hopefully awake during the day. So, I got some coloring stuff like colored pencils and markers as well as some of those giant and detailed coloring posters. I also got some crafting stuff as well. I got some latch hook crafting. I’ve never done latch hook so I want to try something knew and who knows I might have some done before the holidays to give as gift. Of course 98% of the latch hook stuff I’m get to make happen to be cats which isn’t surprising since I own a cat. Actually, I feel like my cat is more like a family member that me owning him.

As far as the unemployment part of life they are being challenging right now. I am on the job hunt and applying for jobs and getting interviews. It’s just the waiting game on hearing back if I’m going to get an interview or a job. Patience is not my virture.

I don’t have much else to say except my cat Billie is wanting to sit on my lap and my laptop is getting in his way. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So , thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Never too Early to be Up for Cat Therapy

Good Morning, World!! It is six o’clock in morning in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I don’t have to be up till 9:00 for a 9:30 appointment with my doctor as I don’t start work till twelve noon on Tuesdays. But I am up at six o’clock in my morning because my cat is wanting some cuddle time. Maybe it’s because my PTSD and Anxiety symptoms are high at the moment my depression is at a low grade level at the moment.

As much as I wish I was still asleep, I am grateful for my cuddles with my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is famous for his cuddle especially when my mental health symptoms are acting up. I did have some nightmares last night which increased the anxiety and the PTSD but am grateful for the Billie cuddles to start of the day even if it is earlier than normal for my Tuesday work schedule. I love my cat and how he provides me emotional support.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Good very early Morning, World!!! Sadly I can not sleep at the moment due to insomnia and PTSD. Having both really sucks shit. Right now I feel like listening to my Childhood Memories Play list of music to help me get relaxed enough to get back to sleep. Having insomnia and PTSD sucks and all I want is sleep.

At least the Childhood Memories Playlist songs are helping along with my cat Billie helping me with his unconditional love. I love my cat so much. I really thing the music and my cat will help me get back to sleep.

I don’t have much more do to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Phuck Getting Sleep Tonight

Good Morning, World!!! Apparently it appears I am not getting a good night sleep tonight because I have neighbors that a physically fighting on my hallway floor. On top of that other neighbors are pulling the building the fire alarm. I am tired and tired has phucking hell. All the shit that is happening is trigging my PTSD. I am tired as hell and a phucking cranky buck it. I just wish Seattle Housing Authority (SHA), The Seattle Fire Department as well as the Seattle Police would do something. People do need to work and being a cranky bucket is not a way to start the day.

I don’t have much to say. Thank you for listening to my rants especially about my neighbors.

UGH!!! Another Sleepless Night in Seattle

It’s not a good start to a Tuesday morning in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I was sound asleep and sleeping quite soundly when two neighbors who live on my floor in different units decided to scream at each other that led into to a physical fight. Needless to say the cops came and “talked” with the neighbors yet didn’t do anything else but talk with them. This angers me and my other neighbors because it triggers our PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. Obviously, Seattle police to get a flying rats ass. All my neighbors and myself want is a decent night of sleep. The cops are not doing their fucking job and a I pay taxes which means I pay their pay check. I am not a happy camper with the Seattle Police Department.

As least my cant Billie Dean is able to help decrease the anger, PSTD, Anxiety and Depression. Billie is a great source of help for me and am beyond grateful for him. I love my cuddle but of a cat. He means the world to me.

I am to tired and angry to finish this blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. Have a great night of sleep. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Time of Night in Seattle

Good Very Early in the Morning from my corner of the world known as Seattle!!! I am not really sure why I am unable to sleep tonight but it is frustrating as hell. I have been doing both coping skills as well as doing self care. They are helping a little bit but not as much as I wish they would help.

One of the things I have been dealing with is increased anxiety , PTSD and depression which sucks shit especially when they all decide to come all at once. One of things that appear to be helping it doing mindfulness meditation practices. It helps me stay grounded.

Another thing that helps me stay grounded in my so very smart kitty, Billie Dean. He seams to know when I need the extra support and makes sure I don’t leave his site. Oh how I love Billie and the connection we have. I am so grateful that he chose me. He is a great cat and am glad he is my cat.

Something else I have been doing it coloring. No, I am not coloring the Disney horror coloring book at the moment. I am coloring a coloring page I got from Stuff2Color.com. They have some awesome coloring pictures. In fact a colored one for my grandpa and framed it. I gave it to him for Christmas. He was happy about it and put it up on the wall for all to see.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

No, Going Back to Sleep for Me

Happy Holidays, World!!! It is 6:03am in the blasted morning and I was finally getting back to sleep after Billie Dean, my cat woke me up. I was almost a sleep and Billie was asleep snoring when the building fire alarm went of. One of my neighbors decided to put the fire alarm pull station again because another neighbor wasn’t not wearing mask. This isn’t the first time this neighbor has pulled the fire alarm pull station when neighbors haven’t been wearing mask. The neighbor who does this pulls it because he wants the fire department to talk with the neighbors who don’t wear mask because of Covid-19. The only thing it is doing is making all the neighbors and the firefighters angry at this particular neighbor. I understand wanting others to wear mask due to the global pandemic but it’s common sense that you don’t pull the fire alarm for someone is not wearing a mask.

The thing is the fire alarm causes my anxiety and my PTSD symptoms to increase. It causes my anxiety to increase because I have to make sure I get my cat, Billie in his carrier and put on my shoes and jacket as well as remembering my keys and wallet as a blaring fire alarm with a strobe light going off. The alarm going off increases my PTSD because, I have been in three fires in my life; two as a child and one as an adult. It’s no fun dealing with PTSD of any kind but it takes me a while to finally get back to an okay place after the building fire alarm goes off.

Well, I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I appreciate all of you. Happy Holidays and Peace Out, World!!!