Traditions & The Holidays

Hello, World!!! I am not sure how to feel at the moment as I have many emotions that are swarming around. Some emotions I am dealing with are not all the pleasant and really wanting to avoid them while other emotions more pleasant and obviously more willing to not avoid them. This is the time of year where things don’t go so well for me in regards to my mental health challenges. Specifically, my depression and PTSD. Thankfully, I have plenty of ways to take care of myself this time of year.

One of the things that was suggested to me early on in my recovery during the holidays was to start my own traditions that I can do with or without people. The only thing I could think of at the time was the two comic books that I had; Christmas with the Superhero’s, Volumes One and Two. So, every year, starting the day after Thanksgiving, I read those two comic books several times during the holiday season. On Christmas Day I read both twice.

Another tradition I started about eight or so years ago was to do a holiday themed jigsaw puzzle. I usually start the puzzle on November 25th or Thanksgiving Day, whichever arrives first. I have several holiday themed jigsaw puzzles I do and sometimes I am able to do two or three depending on the size while other years I only complete one. The one I am doing this year is a thousand pieces and I know from experience that it most likely will be the only holiday puzzle I do this year due to the size. The best part of this tradition is I get to see the “fruits” of my labor by the time Christmas arrives and enjoy it till January 2nd. Of course when I do several smaller holiday puzzles in a holiday season I see more than just one accomplished puzzle. Being able to see an accomplished puzzle helps with my personal morale for the season.

Even though the two traditions I mentioned already have been great traditions to keep and will continue to keep, I decided to add a new tradition this year. That tradition is to do some art. Specifically, coloring a holiday poster or two depending on size and detail. I have decided this tradition will be like the puzzles and start on November 25th or Thanksgiving, whichever arrives first. I have started coloring a holiday poster as of yesterday (November 25th). I am positive I will have at least one accomplished by Christmas Day.

For me starting my own holiday traditions has been a lifesaver for me and my recovery. The reason being is because most of the other holidays traditions I follow through with has some form of trauma or sadness tied to them and needed some that didn’t have either. Most of the other traditions I do includes family as my family is big on traditions. The holidays are not the best time of year for me due to the trauma I have experienced around the holidays so having traditions of my own helps me redefine what the holidays are for me.

I could go on and on about traditions however I won’t as I am getting a little sleepy and plan on going to bed. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good night of sleep ahead of them if it is nighttime for you. If not I hope you have a good day ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling Sad & Trying to Not Overreact or Be a Drama Queen

Good Evening, World!!! I am having very uncomfortable emotions right now in regards to my cat. I am fearful, sad and pretty high anxiety right now. She is not acting like her usual self and not really eating her wet food but at least she is drinking water and nibbling at her dry food. She is also using the litter box. She is a little more lethargic the last two days and it starting to scare me because of lump that is cancerous. Plan is to watch her the next few days and take her to the vet on Tuesday even if she starts getting better because I just want to make sure everything is as okay as it can be health wise with a cancerous lump. I just don’t want put her down but I don’t want her to suffer either. I just love her so much. I hope she knows how much I love her.

Lil Gertie is a special cat for me. She is my emotional support animal (ESA). I thought I would be rescuing her but she did the rescuing of me. I love her so much and hope that she knows that. Lil Gertie was meant for me and I don’t want to loose her too soon but I don’t want her suffer

Like I told you I plan on taking her to my regular vet on Tuesday and get her opinion. Dr. B, the vet Lil Gertie goes to. Dr. B is an amazing vet and tells you like it is in an empathetic and compassionate way. Dr. B really care for the animals she treats as well as the humans. Dr. B is amazing.

I don’t know what else to write due to not wanting to crying. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Blogging in Pain While Being Mindful

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here typing primarily with one hand and it is quite challenging. Long story short last Friday, (November 8th), I injured my hand and wrist. I tripped over my poor cat, Lil Gertie. Thankfully, my cat, Lil Gertie, is just fine and being her usual self. Sadly, I am the one who got injured but am beyond grateful that Lil Gertie was not injured. Like I mentioned at the beginning I injured my wrist and hand. I went to the Emergency Room (ER) and got it x-rayed and unfortunately it was too swollen to notice any type of broken bone or fracture. Both the resident and attending believe I could have some form of fracture which is why they put my wrist a supportive type thing I can take on and off but want me to keep it on till I am able to get it re-x-rayed which is going to happen this Friday (November 15th). If it is fractured I will get a cast if not I will continue wearing what I have and go to physical therapy. They put me on some pretty powerful pain meds. I am not taking them as often as my doctor would like because I fear of getting addicted but my doctor is grateful that I am taking them with the help of other things. For instance I am also taking over the counter (otc) meds like Tylenol and Ibuprofen as well as icing my wrist and doing some mindfulness and mediation. I may be in a pain but at least I am able to get through it.

As I mentioned one of the ways I am helping with the pain is doing some mindfulness and meditation. I am primarily using the Calm App to do this. I have found that the Calm App to be quite helpful. The primary narrator is Tamara Levitt. She has en extremely calming voice.  The Calm App is a free app and you can also subscribe to it annually to receive more mindfulness techniques which is something I have done. I really enjoy doing mindfulness meditation now. I have found it quite helpful for my recovery with my mental health challenges as well as with my health. Yes, it is sometimes challenging to take time out of your day to do mindfulness and/or meditation but it helps start the day off right as well as to end the day off right. I schedule to do it twice a day and try to make an effort to do it more than twice daily.

Something else I have been doing lately beside mindfulness meditation is art. The type of art I have specifically been doing is painting. I have been painting some abstracts that are looking pretty cool. It is something I can do with my good hand and wrist. Painting and other type of art help me a great deal with letting out emotions I am unable to speak which is essence helps me with my recovery.

I don’t have much else to say and am in physical pain so I will end this post. I hope everyone has a good rest of your day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. In fact I hope everyone has a great rest of their week. Peace Out, World!!!

Long Time No Blog

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been quite some time since I last blogged. There is no particular reason why I haven’t blogged and I have no real or good excuse to why I haven’t blogged. I guess, I could say life has been getting in the way but part of my life does consist of the blogging community. In fact I have made friends from the blogging community and am grateful for that.

Anyway, I want to update you on my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie is doing well and acting like her typical self. She had a biopsy done to confirm the original test of cancer but sadly the biopsy didn’t confirm or deny cancer as all the samples the vet took were all inflamed. Lil Gertie’s vet, Dr. B said that inflammation is most likely the sign of infection so we put Lil Gertie on some antibiotics. Dr. B is “cautiously optimistic” with the biopsy results but also doesn’t want to give me “false hope” with the biopsy results and am grateful that she is upfront with such things and the cool part is she informs you in a compassionate way. I wish the biopsy results were not so frustrating and would have been more informative but at least I know that Dr. B can now do the surgery and not have to refer me to a different vet to do it. Even though I scheduled a surgery in January for Lil Gertie, I am not sure if surgery is the way I want to go as if the lump continues to grow, I want Lil Gertie to have a good quality of life and not suffer. As frustrating as the biopsy results are I am grateful that Dr. B is an upfront and compassionate vet who wants what is best for my cat. I will keep you updated on Lil Gertie as she is a major part of my life.

As far as what the rest of the day holds for me is to just lay low and really not do much. I will be doing some good self care. For today, self care looks like listening to several episodes of a podcast about philosophy as I do some art work as I have incense burn. The type of art work I will be doing is coloring and painting. I most likely do more coloring than painting as I am trying to finish up some coloring projects before the holidays as I am going to give them as gifts. I am also trying to finish up one painting for a friend of mine but that will only take about fifteen minutes plus drying time. I love both coloring and painting. Coloring and painting or any type of art is therapeutic for me and it is also educational for me because I tend to listen to podcast when doing some form of art. Usually the podcast I listen to gives me knowledge on topics I am not familiar with.

Anyway, I don’t have much more to say with out blabbing on and on about the same thing. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. In fact I hope everyone has a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!