Words to the Emotions

Hello, World!!! I didn’t do much of anything for a good portion of the day. I did go in for a meeting with the supervisor for the peer run help line I volunteer for. They wanted to “check in” with me because they got information from the crisis line that I had been calling frequently as well as the peer run help line I volunteer on. They said “it sound a lot like you.” I informed this person it was not me and asked him seriously, “why would I call the crisis line or this line when I have a distinctive and unique voice?” He replied “I don’t know why you would.” I informed him that I did not call the crisis line the peer run help line however I did call the after hours crisis team of the agency I am a client of on Valentines Day due to the anniversary of my grandma’s death. I went to show him my phone to prove to him I didn’t and I offered to sign an ROI for him to talk to my therapist. He declined both and said “I am at a loss of what to day.” More or less I validated him that he was in a tough spot no knowing who to believe. So, he is “cautiously” letting me back to volunteering on the help line for a handful of reasons. I guess, I am bothered that he thinks that I have been calling both lines but I understand him wanting to “check in” to make sure I was doing well. I just can’t get out of my head that I am being told that I am call helps lines when I am not but this is something I need to stop ruminating over as I was told I could go back to volunteering.

When I got home from my meeting I decided to paint. I decided to paint due to the mixture of emotions I was dealing with in regards to the meeting. It helped me get the emotion out that needed to get out. It helped me realize that I needed to find the words for my emotions.

That is when I decided to journal. Granted, I am still trying to find the right words to put to my emotions but journaling did help. In fact it helped a great deal just like the painting did.

I do not have much more to say except I am grateful that the supervisor is letting me back to volunteer. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening and night. Peace Out, World!!!

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