A Sleepless Time of Night in Seattle

Good Very Early in the Morning from my corner of the world known as Seattle!!! I am not really sure why I am unable to sleep tonight but it is frustrating as hell. I have been doing both coping skills as well as doing self care. They are helping a little bit but not as much as I wish they would help.

One of the things I have been dealing with is increased anxiety , PTSD and depression which sucks shit especially when they all decide to come all at once. One of things that appear to be helping it doing mindfulness meditation practices. It helps me stay grounded.

Another thing that helps me stay grounded in my so very smart kitty, Billie Dean. He seams to know when I need the extra support and makes sure I don’t leave his site. Oh how I love Billie and the connection we have. I am so grateful that he chose me. He is a great cat and am glad he is my cat.

Something else I have been doing it coloring. No, I am not coloring the Disney horror coloring book at the moment. I am coloring a coloring page I got from Stuff2Color.com. They have some awesome coloring pictures. In fact a colored one for my grandpa and framed it. I gave it to him for Christmas. He was happy about it and put it up on the wall for all to see.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

Not Sorry About My Not So Rated G Post

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! Or at least it’s very early in the morning here in my corner of the world, known as Seattle. Apparently, some readers got offended by my last post regarding coloring a morbid coloring book that is all Disney characters. I received an email from WordPress that it disturbed some of my readers but it doesn’t break any rules or community standards. All they wanted was me to put a “Trigger Warning” at the beginning of the post. I totally understand about getting triggered by things and when I do, I talk with my mental health treatment team as well as other who are in recovery. I also use the skills I learned through therapy when I am triggered. Am I sorry the post triggered other, no not really. I feel bad that I triggered others but I’m not sorry about it as it could be a way for people to learn to cope by using coping skill that help them. For me coloring this coloring book is a way for me to heal from some things that are Disney related. For me coloring and doing a morbid coloring book is a form of self care and healing for me.

As far a the morbid Disney coloring book, it appears that my cat, Billie would like to help with me at times. He doesn’t seem bothered by the morbid Disney coloring book. I love my cat and how he likes my morbid sense of humor.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading it. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me that you read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Disturbing Way to Start a New Year by Coloring; Do a Disney Horror Coloring Book

Saw fart this is what I have what I have done with my start of my Disney Horror coloring books.

So, I ordered a morbid Disney graphic coloring book off of Amazon to have as I have love hate with relationship with Disney. I was going to see if my clients would want to do them as well. I quickly realized it would not be great for my clients to do. So I am have decided I will work on this particular horrific Disney coloring book myself and share my progress with you my reader. So here is the start of the first picture. I hope you like it so far. It will get more morbid as I do more pictures. I hope I can share this on a regular basis as I am sure the farther along I get in the coloring book the more morbid it gets. This is not the Disney I knew growing up near Disneyland. I’m pretty sure this is not the Disney any of knew in our childhood.

I don’t know have much more to say expect to say thank you for reading my blog plots. I appreciate it from my things that you read blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Thank you again from reading my blog.. Peace Out, World!!!

Not the Most Productive Day I’ve Had

Good Evening, World. It is seven ten in the evening in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. If you have read my last few post, I was not able to at all last night and spent most of the the day sleeping. I am finally awake enough to be able to semi function and I by they I mean by writing this post. And of course having a neighbor who is a close friend get me some groceries. I just wish my neighbor would hurry up with getting me my groceries. I shouldn’t be complaining as this neighbor is one of the good guys and respects people even they don’t agree politically.

I guess, I am being inpatient is because I am tired as hell and didn’t sleep last night but did sleep most of day. I sadly, missed work due to the lack of sleep and and I highly dislike missing work as the clients I work with depend on me. I think part of the reason my sleep schedule is unpredictable is because my depression symptoms are starting to slightly increase which is not a good thing.

Not only is my neighbor who is my friend getting groceries for me, my cat has been even more cuddly more than he normally is. Billie being cuddly and my friend getting me groceries is very helpful for my depression symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Can’t F*cking Sleep

Good Morning from Seattle!!! I still have not be to sleep and it is fucking pissing me off. And I really don’t care if this post isn’t G rated. Part of me is wondering if I am unable to sleep because of depression but I am not having my typical signs of depression but it’s something to think about.

On the plus side of things, my family, friends and colleagues are worried about me. In fact they all have been checking in on me which makes me feel love and appreciated. I have some pretty awesome people in my life including my colleagues. My colleagues really seem to care about each other. Of course I know my friends and family love me and care about me.

And of course my precious kitty cat, Billie Dean loves me so very much. He has been following me around all day as well as cuddling with me. He is my baby and I don’t care what others think as Billie in part of my family. I am so glad that he picked me in the shelter. Being picked by any animal is a precious thing especially when it’s a cat or bird.

I best be going now as I am starting fall asleep as I write this blog. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom for my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Day Ramblings

It is had to believe that I am doing what I can do tp leep my blog up today. It is my goal for 2022 to blog an average of three days a week. So far this is my 19th blog post in a matter of 17 days. I do have other goals that I want to accomplish this year and once of these days I will share them with you.

I feel like that if I blog an average of three times a week, I able to keep you my reader interested in continuing to read my blog. I realize there might be times I won’t be able to write a blog a single week which is why I say and average of tree times a week because some weeks I will writer more than three times a week while other weeks I won’t write that week which is okay just as long as it comes to an average of three times a week.

Another reason why I want to make it goal to blog an average of three times a week is to help those who don’t have a mental health diagnosis that people who do have one can live productive lives and able to work as well as pay taxes like “normal” people to. Anther reason why is to help those who struggle with a mental health diagnosis that recovery is possible and that hop is possible.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my post. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. If it was not for you the reader of my blog reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog;. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Middle of the Night Ramblings

 

Happy Middle of the night, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again when I should be sleeping and it suck shit. I highly don’t like not being able to sleep especially in the middle of the night. Not being able to sleep well affect my mental health a great deal which is why do have some skills I am able to do on sleepless nights.

So tonight’s skills will be doing art work while listening music like ACDC and Guns & Roses. I will be doing art work by coloring. Coloring Disney Horror scenes some that can be disturbing to others. I hope that I will be able to show you a completed Horror Disney page when I am done but just now it could be triggering to so some folks and not wise to chose children. I feel like it was perfect for me as I have a love hate relationship with Disney for many reasons. And yes I will be listening to some hard rock music while coloring Horror Disney pictures.

I am pretty sure my cat, Billie Deal will want to be helpful with with the coloring part of my plan. I love my cat Billie so much and how he is a a cuddle bug as well as a love but.

I don’t have much more to say in the particular blog post middle of the night rambling post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, do reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have great weekend and hope you are getting more sleep than I am. Good Night and Peace Out, World!!!

Let’s Hope I Can Sleep Tonight

Good Evening, World!!! My day did not go as planned. It didn’t go as planned due to the fact I didn’t sleep very well last night. Which led to sleep most of the day today. Yes, I admit I needed the sleep due to having not been feeling good due to having Covid-19, I just wanted to start writing down my goals for the year 2022. The big ones goals I have how I will use my small goals to get to the bigger goals.

Sadly, due to not sleeping last night and taking a nap all day I have not be able to do so as I want to be accountable to people regarding my goals for the new year. I know goals are constantly changing due to the fact some end up completed and some will need to be reevaluated. And some need to be more realistic.

As far as one of my goals is to have better sleep hygiene sleep schedule but that can be challenging to do when you are feeling sick for whatever sickness you have. So, I will try to do this despite still being fatigue from Covid-19.

At least one of my goals for the new years is being complete which is spending time with my loving and cuddle bug cat, Billie Dean. Also right now he is being a pain in the rear end but that is okay as he didn’t get much attention today due to be taking an extremely long nap. I love my cat so much. Billie helps me with my mindfulness practices.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do do want to thank you for reading my blog post as if it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. That i why it is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog post. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog post. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! This week has one hell of a week. Not exactly a bad type hell of week but more like a frustrating type hell of a week. First things first, I had to take this past Monday off due to still having covid-19 and feeling like fucking shit. I still feel like crap but at least I am feeling better enough to work. Thankfully, I have the luxury of being able to work from home because I would not be feeling well enough to be working in the office. Covid-19 is no fucking joke. I was informed my the Emergency Room doctors as well as my own doctor that if I hadn’t had the vaccine and the booster shot for Covid-19 I most likely would have end up in the hospital due to the fact I have underlining health issues.

On that note, despite not feeling very well, I still worked most of the week from home. I worked from Tuesday through yesterday, Friday. In fact I initially wasn’t going to work yesterday, Friday, because it would have been my grandma’s 92nd birthday but realized taking off the day she passed away on would be a better day to take off. My supervisor, therapist, doctor, friends and family all agreed. Even though work went well this past week, I did manage to celebrate my grandma’s birthday by having a slice of banana cream pie as it was would she would have wanted for her birthday. I also sang happy birthday to a picture of my grandma.

Despite working from home while to completely feeling well, my friends and family have been checking on me to see how I have been doing especially health wise. There nothing like having Covid-19 to worry everyone for several reasons. One of which everyone want to make sure I am isolating so I don’t infect others which is a no brainer and something I am doing. Secondly, they are all worried that the Covid-19 can get worse for me due to having other health issues. I am so blessed to have friends and family that love me. Talk to you all later as now it’s time to spend more time cuddling my cat, Billie Dean. It appears that Billie want me to stop typing and give him attention.

Intro to Poetry; Day 4: Journey

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Life is meant to be a journey;

a journey that is meant to be full of

love and support.

Love and support many people

sadly don’t have.

Some don’t have the

love and support

due to mental health and/or addiction.

That’s where peers come

in;

to give hope

as well as love and support.

Peer Support is key to

ones journey to

recovery.