Words to the Emotions

Hello, World!!! I didn’t do much of anything for a good portion of the day. I did go in for a meeting with the supervisor for the peer run help line I volunteer for. They wanted to “check in” with me because they got information from the crisis line that I had been calling frequently as well as the peer run help line I volunteer on. They said “it sound a lot like you.” I informed this person it was not me and asked him seriously, “why would I call the crisis line or this line when I have a distinctive and unique voice?” He replied “I don’t know why you would.” I informed him that I did not call the crisis line the peer run help line however I did call the after hours crisis team of the agency I am a client of on Valentines Day due to the anniversary of my grandma’s death. I went to show him my phone to prove to him I didn’t and I offered to sign an ROI for him to talk to my therapist. He declined both and said “I am at a loss of what to day.” More or less I validated him that he was in a tough spot no knowing who to believe. So, he is “cautiously” letting me back to volunteering on the help line for a handful of reasons. I guess, I am bothered that he thinks that I have been calling both lines but I understand him wanting to “check in” to make sure I was doing well. I just can’t get out of my head that I am being told that I am call helps lines when I am not but this is something I need to stop ruminating over as I was told I could go back to volunteering.

When I got home from my meeting I decided to paint. I decided to paint due to the mixture of emotions I was dealing with in regards to the meeting. It helped me get the emotion out that needed to get out. It helped me realize that I needed to find the words for my emotions.

That is when I decided to journal. Granted, I am still trying to find the right words to put to my emotions but journaling did help. In fact it helped a great deal just like the painting did.

I do not have much more to say except I am grateful that the supervisor is letting me back to volunteer. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening and night. Peace Out, World!!!

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Fighting Off Depression With Humor

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have been up for several hours now and could really use a nap. The problem with taking a nap is if I do take one, I won’t be able to get up in time to go to my volunteer job and will not be able to sleep tonight. The sad thing is I woke up in a very depressive state. A depressive state that is quite concerning for me however if I am able to get through the next few days it is my hope that the depression symptoms with start to subside. I am pretty sure that the grief I am dealing with in regards to the loss of my grandma on Valentines Day of this year (2018) could have a lot to do with the increased symptoms of my depression.

Since I have been fighting off depression and grief I decided to watch the Netflix special that Ellen DeGeneres did and is so happened the show they made into a special was here in Seattle. I wish I was able to attend it in person however I was unable to do so. I am just thrilled that I was able to watch it earlier today on Netflix to help with my mood. Ellen is quite funny and I personally think she is relatable to people or at least she is to me. After watching Ellen’s Netflix special, it was quite helpful in lifting my spirits and not making the decision to call out “sick” for my volunteer job this evening.

Not only did watching the Ellen special on Netflix help me make a good choice to go to my volunteer job tonight but helped to blog about how I am feeling about shit. Shit like the depression and grief I am dealing with at the moment. Blogging seems to help and hope that sharing my story help you my reader some how. Blogging is a great outlet for me just like watching comedy is.

I don’t have much else to say at the moment. So, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

No Sleep In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. Not my idea of a good way to start off a Monday. This marks two nights in a row where I have not been able to sleep. I wish I wasn’t wide awake.

I received an email earlier today regarding a volunteer job at Benaroya Hall which is the home of the Seattle Symphony. I applied for a volunteer job their and hope that when I have the ‘interview” that I get a position that is best suited to my skill set. Plus, volunteering at Benaroya Hall and for the Seattle Symphony will look good on the resume’. It will show that I have interest outside of the mental health field. Plus, it will give me the structure I so desire and need.

Another thing I will like to bring up is the advertisements on my blog. I know they can be quite annoying however if you click on them, it gives me a little income. Not much but some. So, I ask you my loyal readers and followers to click on an advertisement or two once or twice a week so I can get money. Yes, its only a few cents per click but at least it is something.

I am going to go back to bed and try to get some sleep. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Too Early To Be Up On A Saturday

Good Morning, World. It is six o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I have been awake since about three this morning when my cat woke me up from a nightmare by licking my toes. Some how my cat knows when I am having a nightmare and wakes me up before it can get any worse.

I did make me a nice breakfast and just finished eating it. I had scrambled eggs, bacon and French toast. I gave Lil Gertie, my cat, a little piece of bacon. She appeared to enjoy the bacon. She deserved the piece of bacon since she did wake me up from a nightmare.

I just wish I could go back to sleep. Going back to sleep would be nice. Maybe I can take a nap later on before I go to my volunteer job. I don’t want to be a cranky bucket when I am talking with people on a help line.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is so very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I hope you all can find something to do to enjoy the world around you. Peace Out, World!!!!

A Day of Self-Care

Hello, World!!! Today, overall has been a good day. Despite it being a good day I have dealt with a great deal of grief regarding my grandma. Tomorrow (Sunday, September 2nd) would have been my grandparents 63rd wedding anniversary.

Since I have been dealing with grief a great deal today and the last couple of weeks I decided to make it a day of self care. I spent most of the day playing with my cat, Lil Gertie as well as reading Wonder Woman comic books. I did this so I could be in a good head space to volunteer earlier this evening for a help line..

Volunteering helped me a great deal. It helped me get out of my head as well as out of myself to help others. Helping others by volunteering gives me a purpose that even work can not give me.

Now that I am home, I am going back to doing what I was doing earlier in the day. That is petting and/or playing with my cat, Lil Gertie, and reading Wonder Woman comic books. I know it will be helpful for me as it has been proven helpful to me earlier as well as in the past.

Thank you for reading. Have a great rest of your Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

An Early Start To The Day

Good Morning, World!!! I know I have posted earlier than this before however I really never needed be up and ready by now unless it was when I was working. I am at the conference I have been telling you all about. The one I am volunteering at. I got to the hotel yesterday.

Well, I am looking forward to what the day has to in store even if things appear to be a bit more disorganized than last year. I have a volunteer meeting I need to be at, at seven. That’s about thirty minutes way. I am having anxiety over some things but that is normal for this kind of thing especially when things appear to be disorganized from my end of things.

I know this is relatively short post from me as of lately however I need to do good self care before the morning volunteer meeting. Thank you so much from my end of things for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope to update you when time allows for me to do so. I have a full day ahead of me so I might now be able to do so till this evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Co-Facilitate Group (A volunteer gig I have)
  • Spend time with family

Monday

  • Blog
  • Therapy
  • Head to Hotel for conference
  • Help set up last minute stuff for peer conference
  • Spend time with friends (who are fellow peer specialist/counselors)

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Attend and Volunteer at Peer Conference
  • Spend time with friends (who are fellow peer specialist/counselors)

Wednsday

  • Blog
  • Attend and volunteer at peer conference
  • Head home after conference is over
  • Spend time with cat when I get home from the conference

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Go to doctor’s appointment
  • General lazy day
  • Spend time with cat, Lil Gertie

Friday

  • Blog
  • Job interview
  • Spend time with family

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Spend time with friends
  • Volunteer at the Warm Line