A Lazy Saturday

Good Evening, World!!! As I write this I am listening to Philosophize This, a podcast on philosophy. I am really enjoying this podcast. I, recently started listening to podcast and this is one that I have started. I decided to start listening to the first one and work my way up to the most current one. I figure if I listen to two to three a day I can get to the most current one by the end of the year.

Besides listening to podcast on philosophy, I’ve been working on my workbooks. Specifically, I have been working on my mindfulness workbook. For me being able to focus on mindfulness has been quite helpful for my recovery process.

Since we are on the topic of mindfulness, I also journaled in my guided journal that focuses on mindfulness. Today’s entry was about mindfulness reminders. So, I got a bunch of sticky notes to remind me to do mindfulness practices.

I have also been focusing a great deal on art today. I have been painting as I listened to podcast. I have also been doing some coloring. For me art is a type of mindfulness practice. It also helps me with expressing my emotions.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

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Grateful Even For Depression

Good Evening, World!!! I’m sitting here grateful for the shit I have been through. Yes, even the negative and bad shit. I am grateful for it as it has made me who I am. Yes, my depression is still slightly acting up however I am still grateful. I am even grateful for the depression I am dealing with. I am grateful for it as it has helped shaped me as a person and made me stronger.

I realized this gratitude after journaling in my gratitude journal. I may not like to admit I am strong person but I am grateful that I am in space that I am able to do so on occasion. Being grateful in the face of difficult times is a huge success for me and my recovery.

Being grateful for my what I have is a good thing and Junior is telling me dinner is reading. We are having Lasagna. Junior makes some great Lasagna. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Rambling About Sh*t

Good Evening, World!!! Today, has had its ups and downs yet I am grateful for both. Grateful, that I am able to be an okay enough place to have gratitude toward both the ups and the downs for the day. If it were December I don’t think I would have been grateful for the downs I experienced.

I discussed this with Gilbert today in our session and he stated that I am making a lot of progress. Progress with my recovery. Progress with my recovery that I am finally starting see in myself. Not only did we discuss the progress but we discuss the physical assault I experienced on Monday evening as well as the death of my grandma last Wednesday. We discussed on what I can do during the down moments when dealing with the death of my grandma and the assault I experienced.

One of those things I came up with was to journal. To journal about the strength my grandma had. Not just journal in any of my journals but my Wonder Woman journal. I journal in my Wonder Woman journal when I think it is going to be about someone who as some form of strength because Wonder Woman is a strong superhero.

Since we are on the topic of Wonder Woman I also discussed with Gilbert that reading my Wonder Woman comics would be helpful. He agreed as he thinks Wonder Woman gives me some form a strength and he is right. Yes, I know Wonder Woman is a fictional character but she does give me strength.

Thank you for reading. It is very much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Evening/Night

Hello, World!!! I’m having a tough go at it at the moment. I’ve been dealing with that fact the my grandma is in hospice care and I’m attempting to process it through journaling and blogging. It appears to be helping.

Reading a history text book and watching TedTalks about history. I feel like I can get some sort of education regarding history. Its helping with getting my mind off of things and wish my family and I weren’t dealing with all this but its the reality we are dealing with.

Reality can suck shit but it can be wonderful at the same time. For example my grandma told me today if I don’t go to my job interviews and Tuesday and Wednesday that when she goes, she will haunt me to the day I die and then haunt me after death. I got to love my grandma. She’s facing death yet she is still using her humor.

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a good evening/night. Peace Out, World!!!

Here’s Hoping The Will Help Me w/the Year of Change

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Good Morning, World!!! The above pictured items are four of the six items I ordered from Amazon and received in the mail yesterday. The items above include a gratitude journal, colored pencils and two workbooks. One workbook is about dealing with insomnia while the other is on resilience and being Queer and/or Trans. The two items I have not received yet are a mindfulness workbook and a coloring book.

Last night I started the Gratitude Journal which I think will be quite helpful for me. I think it will be helpful for me due to the fact it will help me turn my mind from my negative thoughts into positive one while accepting of and letting go of the negative thoughts and emotions. It even has a few coloring pages in it that will be quite helpful in times of stress.

I also started The Queer & Transgender Resilience Workbook last night or at least started reading it. I actually started working on it earlier this morning when I woke up from a nightmare. I’m finding it challenging yet helpful. I’m sure as time goes on, the workbook will become more challenging and I am up for a challenge and the hard work.

As for the Quiet Your Mind & Get To Sleep I’ll wait to I’m done with the current workbook I am doing. As for the workbook on Mindfulness, I have yet to receive in the mail, I’m not sure if I’m going to do that in conjunction with any other workbook I may or may not being doing at the moment.

I am hoping that as challenging as the current workbook is, so far, that the other workbooks I do this year will be as challenging and helpful to my recovery. For me my recovery is quite important to me. Plus, I am hoping that I can count on my resiliency to bounce back from this really long and prolonged bump in the road.

Thank you so much for reading. It is much appreciated. I hope everyone has a wonderful day full of gratitude. Peace Out, World!!!

 

A Year of Change

Good Evening, World!!! It has been two weeks and three days since 2018 started and have decided that this year will be a year of change. A year of positive change. In fact in October of this year (2018) it will mark fifteen(15) years since I made an active choice and decision with being in recovery. Yes, fifteen years. It’s difficult to wrap my mind around that I chose to be in active recovery back in 2003.

As I look back at 2003, I wasn’t where I wanted to be at in my life when I was 24 years old and am finding myself in a similar spot at almost 39 years old. The difference between now and then is that I have the skills and insight to know what to do to help and advocate for myself. Knowing how to help and advocate for myself is why I am making the decision to make this yet another year of change.

As many of you know, 2017 was not the easiest of years for me which is why I am wanting to make an active choice and decision to make an effort in my life regarding my recovery. I am making this year, a year of change in the positive direction with my recovery. I am planning on doing this in various ways which I plan to tell you how I’m going to this.

Many people have various ways on they get help for their mental health. Without sounding redundant, I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing with going to see my psychiatric nurse practitioner, (temporary) therapist, case manager and attending groups. On that note, I’m going to add on somethings that will be yet a year of positive change for me. Some of what I’m going to mention are things others around the world have done to better themselves and their mental health.

One of the various ways I’m going to do to make this year a year of change is to set out a time to do mindfulness and/or meditation. I am doing this because I have found it quite helpful in the past as well as in the present. It helps me refocus what needs to be done when I’m dealing with an anxiety attack as well as help me focus on the day to come.

Another way I’m going to make this a year of change is to journal. I’ll continue to free write journal however I’ve decided I’ll do guided journaling. It is my hope that the guide journaling will help me remain positive or get me in a positive mindset. Yes, I know being positive or in a positive mindset isn’t going to happen every moment of everyday however I don’t want to be the one who bring negativity into this world.

The last thing I’m going to be doing to help myself make it a year of change is something many around the world have done. That something is doing self-help workbooks. Yes, I know that sounds corny and maybe even superficial however if it is something that has helped me in the past then it can’t hurt to try again.

In fact I ordered some self-help workbooks and a guided journal from Amazon and received most of the items I ordered today. I plan on starting on of the workbooks as well as the guided journal this evening.

Before starting on a working book and the guided journal, I need to make dinner and eat. I also need to do laundry however I can do laundry and workbook and/or guided journal at the same time.I hope that you found that me making an active change in my recovery refreshing from many of my past post over the last year. It is my hope to tell you more about the guided journaling and workbooks I am doing as I am doing them. Have a great evening, everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

2018; People Have Been Waiting For You

Happy New Year, World!!! 2018; You’re finally here and people have been waiting for you. 2018, people have been waiting for you because 2017 wasn’t the best of years for many of us; myself included.

As many of you know, 2017 wasn’t the best of years for me. It was a year of trials for me. I am attempting to look back at 2017 to look at any successes or triumphs I may have had and unable to find any. As much as I wish I had some sort of success or triumph in 2017, I realize that 2018 is a New Year.

A New Year to focus on what I need to do to continue on my road to recovery as well as to have the success and accomplishments I so desire to have. That’s why my goals for 2018 are simple or at least simple sounding. My goals sound simple in theory but in reality not so simple to do.

My goals for 2018 are as follows:

-Do a meditation or mindfulness exercise daily. (Preferably in the morning.)

-Do guided journaling daily. (This is on top of the free write journaling I do. The guided journaling is to help me focus on what is challenging me at the moment.)

-Do self-help workbooks. (This is to help me with my recovery and not take the place of what my mental health treatment teams helps me with.)

-Read books that are related to the mental health field. (This is to help me keep up to date on the field I choose to work in. I of course will still read books for fun.)

I do have other goals for 2018 but the above goals are the ones that I feel like that will help me the most to have a more successful and accomplished year than last year. I will have the help of my mental health treatment team as well as my friends with my 2018 goals.

Thank you for reading. As we begin 2018 I hope that this is a year that we are able to have a year of improvement and accomplishments we all can be proud of. I hope you continue to read and follow my blog. Happy New Years. Peace Out, World!!!