1,000 Followers

Hello, World!!! Today, has been an unexpected. First I found out that I have reached over one thousand followers on this blog. It is slightly surprising to find out that my first blog post was on May 31, 2014 and it’s taken this long get a thousand followers but I’m okay with that. I’m okay because I know my blog it not everyone cup of tea.

I started this blog to help lesson the stigma of having a mental health challenge as well as to educate other the people like me can be productive members of society no matter how it looks for the individual person. I also started blogging in hope to give others dealing with mental health challenges hope and that recovery look different for everyone.

I’ve discussed many things on this blog. Everything from self care to having a diagnosis to therapy and meds. We even discussed stigma as well as working creating a life worth living. I am grateful that as of right now life is worth living for me at the moment and I hope you can get to that point as well.

I do not have much more to say except thank to all my thousand followers for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means the world to me. Peace Out, World!!!

Resiliency Making an Appearance

Good Evening, World!!! The last two and half months have been challenging for me and many others due to the unexpected news off my employer closing and being laid off. It has been quite traumatizing for all involved and am beyond grateful for the support I have received from many different people including those, I never expected support from.

If you been reading my blog regularly the last two and half months, you know I’m getting laid off due to my employer closing. Due to Covid-19 I know most of my colleagues via zoom and same goes for the clients I serve. Any way, I am realizing the fact how resilient myself, colleagues and clients are while sharing the same trauma even though we are experiencing it in different ways.

As sucky as the pandemic has been, Zoom has become a love hate relationship. Zoom may has it’s problems but it sure has its ups. Lets start by the best part of Zoom meetings and appointments which is surprise visits from all the pets which includes on my end seeing (and hearing) birds, rabbits, cats, dogs, turtles, snakes, rats and a miniature horse. I think with the seeing all the animals people have as pets has built a rapport with others if the pandemic didn’t happen. I know my cat, Billie, has helped my clients in Zoom appointments. Hell, Billie and my colleagues pets have helped ease a lot of meetings when they (pets) make an appearance in meetings.

Not only have pets including my own cat Billie has helped with my resiliency, music has helped a great deal. The last two and have months my recovery play list has helped a great with the resiliency part of my recovery. My recovery play list appears to be the play list I’ve been listening to the most since I found out I was being laid off. So music helping so much just my cat Billie is.

I don’t have much more to say except that my cat, Billie (and other animals/pets I see in Zoom meetings) and music have been helping me a great deal with being resilient. I also want to thanks you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Wanting to Post but Nothing to Post

Hello, World!!!! Right now, I am feeling left out or left behind. I feel like this because some of the things I am discussing to friends and family especially family don’t seem to understand how traumatic this entire lay of thing has been on not just the clients but the staff. I just feel like I have nobody to go to that understand but my therapist. I need someone other than my therapist to talk to about it. My family it traumatizing me more about talking about it with them so what the use of discussing it with them. I don’t want to wear out the friends I do have. I just feel like the only people who know are the ones I work with and we just want to discuss it with others because it will make us more upset discussing at this point.

I do have to I Billie has been a great help through all of this and keeping an eye me. I feel like I am neglecting him in a away. Mainly by not play with him as much. I love my Billie so much and he was a good boy today. I took him outside the building with his leash and harness and it was the first time he didn’t try to run back to the building door. It only last five minutes but I’m proud of Billie for it. It was also the perfect Seattle weather to do it in as well.

I don’t have much to say except thank you for reading my blog. Have a good rest of you Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Official Date for Lay Off from Work

Good Evening, World!!!! I finally found out when my lay off date is at work and am not sure if I am allowed to share it as I signed some documentation. In all honest with you, I think it’s the other shit that they don’t want out there. Not everyone has the same lay off date but mine is June 3rd of this year. I’m sad I only have a couple of weeks to say goodbye to client but they will be going to place that will be helpful to them. My place employment was a mental health agency the was geared toward the queer community was it’s main focus so Seattle experience a big loss especially since it’s been around for fifty three years.

On that note I’ve have friends and family checking on me that makes me feel loved. Having a good support system is needed when you are in recovery from anything. I truly love my friends and family and that they love and care for me back. My colleagues are in the same category as friends and family.

Speaking of friends and family, Billie Dean, my cat is on my lap as I write this post as I listen to my recovery playlist from Spotify. My cat being near me is surely helping my emotions just like the music is. Music is a go to for me to change my mood around. Billie my cat listening to the music just helps that just much more.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, again thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

Weekly Check In

Good Evening, World!!! Good news is my grandpa’s Honor Flight finally happened was not post poned for the hundredth time. So for are he is enjoying it and the is making me happy. As I sit here hat home in Seattle with my cat Billie Dean, I wish I was with my grandpa but I understand why he want to go alone and not make anyone jealous or envies. It’s also nice to just be home alone with my cat Billie.

As far are as my job goes, it is still up in the air and driving everyone including staff, clients and the count bat shit crazy. The Board of Directors want’s is closed completely however the county it is trying to keep the agency open. Honestly, I think the reality of it is that it will close.

I really wish I was in the other Washington (DC) with my grandpa but I respect his wishes and am happy his honor flight is finally happening. I am happy that I have friend and family sending cards to my grandpa for “mail call” during his honor flight.

I just that is my weekly check in. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Uncertainty With a Whim of Hope

Good Evening, World!!! I had a challenging supervision with my supervisor today saying I am planning on staying to the end but with the uncertainty of when the end will be, I started putting myself out there via cover letters and resume’s. She understand and is doing the same thing. She informed that the former Vice president and acting president is seeing if she could find a spot for me. Specifically a spot to create a program for the LGBTQ+ (Queer) community. This would be great sense I am queer. To me this is hopeful news but I have a bit of uncertainty at the moment as creating new programs can be challenging.

I am applying for other jobs even though it is my hope my current job stays open as it is one of my dream jobs. I can’t lay all my eggs in one basket. I have tons of references which is a great thing.

In all honesty if I get a job where I work from the office five days a week, I don’t think Billie Dean my cat will be happy with me. We both know we love each other. I love being able to come home from work with the love Billie.

I just hope my next job, whatever it may be will be longer that an year and a half. I will miss my colleagues and clients when it’s time to say goodbye. Just send out good vibes, energy, Vudu, and karma for me please.

I am done with this post and would like to thank you for reading my post. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. If if it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Cuddle time with Billie Dean, my cat
  • Reading

Monday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Walk Billie (my cat) around apartment building
  • Work
  • Reading

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Walk Billie (my cat) around apartment building
  • Therapy
  • Work
  • Reading

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Cuddle time with Billie, my cat
  • Work
  • Reading

Thursday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Cuddle time with Billie my cat
  • Work
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Reading

Friday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Cuddle time with Billie my cat
  • Work
  • Reading

Saturday

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practice
  • Walk Billing my cat around apartment building and cuddle tie
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Reading while cuddling with Billie my cat

Weekly Check In

Happy Caturday, World!!! It is Saturday aka Caturday which is when I usually do my weekly check ins. I personally feel like I haven’t bed doing the weekly check ins on the regular basis and I have plenty of legit excuses I can use but not going to use them as I know what I can do to overcome the struggles of doing the weekly check ins.

It has been a challenging few weeks or a I should say a challenging month and a half at work. I love my job with a passion and really hope the county can find a way to to keep us open. There is a very small glimmer of hope it can stay open but the reality is, it most likely will close.

Something that helped me this week was taking yesterday (Friday) off from work and go to my grandpa’s after work on Thursday to spend a couple of days with him and my two uncles. Of course my cat Billie Dean came with me. He enjoyed the extra attention but everyone knows that I am his human.

As far as my own recovery and knowing, I will be laid off but no official lay off date as of yet, I’ve been using my DBT skills. Specifically, the Radical Acceptance skill. Not an easy skill to do but it is helping me a great deal.

On the plus note, it is finally baseball season. I am hoping to make it to a came this season. Preferably one where the Angels are in Seattle. I love my home town team of the Angels. I really hope they do well this season.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my post. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

Do you realize it’s my time to hide & nap?

Hello, World!!! It is four thirty in the after noon in Seattle. This is the time Billie Dean goes into his hiding bed which is on my bed to take a nap. Apparently he is not happy with me because I was to take a nap as well. He does not have a happy face on and hope people can see it. I love giving Billie his space but I need sleep to. Hope you have a great Wednesday afternoon. Peace Out, World!!!

A Range of Emotions

Hello, World!!! As I write this particular blog, I am writing in between clients and writing note about clients. I guess it’s one of the luxuries of being able to work from home part of the time. I really love my job but today has been a tough one and I am not sure why. Be back later, I have a client to see.

Okay, now I’m back after two sessions with clients and writing their notes so their insurance can pay my employer. I love my job most days and normally don’t feel drained but I’m feeling drained because nobody really knows if my employer is actually closing or not.

I blame the board of directors on this and am happy that the county is wanting to keep us open but it appears like nothing is being done. We have no leadership left. We do have one HR person left and two of the four remaining supervisors are leaving in May.

I have a range of emotions because I love my job and am grateful for it. I’m also angry, depressed and full of anxiety of what is going on. The county is giving us some hope but not much.

Working from home is helping me today because I have Billie to help me with my emotions. I love my cat so much. I wish could talk more about Billie but I have another session with a client and then a meeting. So, thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!