Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Depressed In Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Right now I am struggling with increased depression symptoms. I do not like having depression but I do not know anyone who has depression that likes having it. I have been isolating most of the day with the exception of my morning walk and going to the grocery store this morning. Isolating is not always a good thing for me as it keeps me in my own head.

Being in my own head for any reason is not a good thing especially when I am isolating. Since, I have been isolating I have been doing some art work. Specifically, I have been coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. The giant poster I am coloring is a Mandela. I like Mandela’s as they help me be mindful just like coloring does.

The other thing I have been doing besides art work by coloring is cuddling with my cat, Billie. I love spending time with my cat, Billie. Billie is a very sweet cat and I can’t imagine my life without him. I also took some pictures of Billie as well as selfies of me with him. Billie is an awesome lovable lap cat.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or rock painting)
  • Work on mental health recovery workbooks

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Work on mental health recovery workbooks
  • Dinner with friends

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Attend Queer Space (in person) group
  • Kickball practice
  • Work on mental health recovery workbooks

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Emerald House virtual group
  • Attend (in person) WHAM group
  • Work on mental health recovery workbooks
  • Kickball practice

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Sexual Health: An Essential Part of Recovery Training (virtual)
  • LGBTQ+ virtual group
  • Kickball practice
  • Work on mental health recovery workbooks

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Virtual appointment with therapist
  • Dinner with friends
  • Work on mental health recovery workbooks

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation through the Calm App
  • Morning walk
  • Kickball game
  • Work on mental health recovery books
  • Read
  • Art (color and/or rock painting)

The Bright Side of Focusing on Recovery

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is the start of another work week and sadly I am unemployed due to disability reasons. A disability with major stigma attached to it which is mental health challenges. As much as I am not a fan of my disability and the stigma that goes along with it; I am glad that I need it for my chosen career path as a peer specialist.

As much as I wish I was working as a peer specialist or working at all, I am happy to be focusing on my recovery. My recovery is key to not only my chosen career field but to my everyday life. Life that includes a life worth living. A life worth living with a cat, friends, loving partner and a wonderful physical health team as well as an awesome mental health team. I guess what I am saying is that the bright side of focusing on my recovery at the moment is that I can completely reevaluate what a life worth living looks like for me at the moment.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Tough Couple of Nights

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just barely after five o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. It’s been a tough couple nights due to suddenly remembering something horrific from my childhood a couple of nights ago. On the good note about this is when I remembered, Junior was with me and then the next day which was yesterday, I had therapy.

Therapy is not meant to be easy but yesterday was tough but my therapist was compassionate and empathetic as always. She listened and gave me some suggestions to help take care of myself. My therapist makes talking about tough shit safe to talk about even when it feels unsafe due to PTSD symptoms.

Due to those PTSD symptoms, I had a couple of challenging nights and lack of sleep. Junior helped me Wednesday but was unable to help last night (Thursday) due to working. Sadly, he is unavailable today and tonight due to work as well. He is a firefighter and works twenty-four hour shifts and is doing an overtime shift today. Anyway, last night I had the help of a couple of friends via phone as well as my cat, Billie. I am grateful for my natural support system.

I do not have anything else to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness Meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Daily morning walk
  • Read
  • Attend a virtual 12-Step meeting
  • Art (color or rock painting)

Monday

  • Mindfulness Meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Daily morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Art (color or rock painting)

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Daily morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Art (color or rock painting)

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness Meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Daily morning walk
  • Work on recovery related workbooks
  • Read
  • Art (color or rock painting)
  • Attend a virtual 12-Step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness Meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Daily morning walk
  • Training via Zoom on Recovery and Eating Disorders
  • LGBTQ+ virtual group
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Read
  • Art (color or rock painting)

Friday

  • Mindfulness Meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Daily morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Attend an in person appointment with psychiatric nurse practitioner
  • Read
  • Art (color or rock painting)

Saturday

  • Mindfulness Meditation practice through the Calm App.
  • Daily morning walk
  • Go to U-District Farmers Market
  • Read
  • Art (color or rock)
  • Attend a virtual 12-Step meeting.

Tough Therapy Session W/Some Awesomeness

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is another Saturday evening here in Seattle and despite having a challenging day due to PTSD, I am grateful for the awesomeness of the people around me. Awesomeness that my therapist idea helped with at the end of my session with her yesterday (Friday).

Long story short, my session with my therapist was quite challenging yesterday (Friday). We discussed a lot of childhood trauma shit. Shit that was some of the hardest crap I dealt with as a child. Hell, it was some of the hardest shit I dealt with in my entire life that I shared with my therapist. Anyway, at the end of most of my sessions we discuss ways to take care of myself especially when it is a tough session. I brought up the book I am reading and how it is in the dark fantasy and gay fiction genre’s as well how it is a representation of being in the queer community. My therapist suggested that I find things to do in the queer community such as sports league like kickball or dodgeball. She suggested this since she knows I thrived when I worked a a mental health agency that was queer focused and sadly the agency went under due to the lack of funding. My therapist also gave me an idea to join a book club that is hopefully with other queer readers or a book that is queer related.

On that note, I reached out to the queer community via a Facebook group and asked about queer sports leagues involving kickball or dodgeball. I signed up for a kickball team yesterday (Friday) and will sign up for a dodgeball team when sign ups open up next Friday (March 1, 2024). I am so looking forward to participating in both a kickball team and a dodgeball team.

Since I received a great response regarding queer sporting leagues on Facebook, I reached out regarding book clubs. I am in fact currently looking at book clubs and the books they are reading. Representation in books is much needed.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post except that I am grateful for my therapist suggesting me getting more involved in the queer community in activities that I enjoy doing. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Type of Night in Seattle

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after two o’clock in the morning here in Seattle, Washington and I am sadly unable to sleep. Having insomnia on top of having PTSD with some pretty severe symptoms suck shit. Sadly there isn’t much that can be done but at least I have some pretty amazing people in my life to help me. Those people include the people I seek professional help from as well as friends and sometimes family. Let’s not forget about my cat who helps a great deal.

Since I have not been able to sleep, I have been reading or doing some form of art work. I am reading the first book in a six book series. The book I am reading is Revelations Fire & Brimstone Scroll 1 by Nikole Knight. So far I am really enjoying the book. The genre the book is in is gay fiction and dark fantasy.

Like I said earlier since I am unable to sleep, I have been reading and doing some form of art work. The type of art work I am doing is coloring. I am coloring a picture as well as a giant poster. The picture I am coloring I think I am going to give to my therapist and the giant poster I might keep for myself. I just hope keeping something for myself that I helped create doesn’t sound selfish of me to do.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader continue to read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression Sucks

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am struggling with some things that I really don’t want to write about right now. I guess it is something that I sort of process in my own time in my own way. I am not even sure if discussing it with my mental health team as well as my natural support system would be helpful at this point in time as I think you could be more challenging to deal with if I did.

I just really don’t like struggling with depression and sadly I have been isolating which is not a good thing. I am making an effort to not isolate by reaching out to my natural support system. I am also spending time with my cat who is helping with my depression symptoms. Another thing that is helping is taking my daily walks in the morning and adding a second walk in the afternoon or evening. I also have been doing multiple mindfulness meditation practices on the daily basis. I know I need to do more but it is challenging to do when you are having morning sickness due to being pregnant.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post except I will do my best to blog on the more regular basis. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Lunch at Red Robin with Junior and mutual friends
  • Spend time with Junior
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recover based workbooks

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks
  • Dinner with a good friend

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Emerald House virtual group
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery based workbooks
  • Attend a virtual 12 step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Emerald House virtual group
  • Lunch with a friend
  • Attend an LGBTQ+ virtual recovery group
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Virtual appointment with psychiatric nurse practitioner
  • Dinner at Red Robin with Junior
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • University District Farmers Market
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday evening which means I do my weekly check-in with you the reader. Overall, things have been overwhelming knowing that I am going to be a parent and give birth this summer. The thought of being a parent is both scary and exciting at the same time.

In fact my therapist and I discussed being pregnant and me becoming a parent. We talked about me being fearful of becoming like my parents when I become a parent and my therapist validated my fear. She assured me that I won’t end up parenting my kid like my parents parented me. I also talked to my therapist about my kid ending up with a mental health challenge due to my own mental health challenges. My therapist understands my concerns.

I am pretty sure I don’t have much more to check in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!