Still Sleepless In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! Yes, it is still morning in my neck of the world. It is now 7:15 in the morning in Seattle and I still haven’t been to sleep even though I have tried many times and many ways.

As I mentioned in my last post, I used meditation and mindfulness practices as well as meds. I did take an extra dose of both my anxiety meds and sleeping meds with permission from the doctor on call yet it didn’t help. I also attempted to watch television that is know for it’s comedy and humor which helps a good portion of the time but this time it didn’t help like I was wanting it to.

So, what I decided to do next was to spend time with my cat as she is quite helpful with helping me with my PTSD and anxiety and she helped a great deal. She is now sleeping next to me in my chair as I write this post.

Another thing I have been doing is hopes to help me sleep is reading. I have been reading comic books. Specifically, I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books as Wonder Woman gives me sense of strength to do what I need to do. Yes, I know I am getting strength from a fictional character but if it helps me with whatever I am going through which on this moment is attempting trying to get to sleep then I’ll use it.

So, as I say good morning (and goodnight again) I hope you all have a good day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Have an awesome day. Peace out, world!!!

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Needing Some Zzz’s In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is 2:30 in the morning in my corner of the world and I am unable to sleep despite everything I have tried to get to sleep. Let’s begin what I know is keeping me up and the corrupts are anxiety and PTSD. Both really suck any time of day especially when you are trying to get to sleep.

Now lets get to how I have attempted to get to sleep so far. I started off with taking some Melatonin and then doing both a mindfulness and meditation practice after watching late night television. Late night television is quite helpful for me with my sleep as humor and comedy help a great deal as does doing mindfulness and meditation practices after late night television. I decided to take melatonin for the first time and took it an hour before I knew I was going to go to bed. Unfortunately, melatonin, late night television with humor and comedy as well as mindfulness and meditation practices didn’t help me get to sleep. So, that is when I took my anxiety medicine in hopes that it would help me get sleepy enough to get to sleep. Sadly this did not work either. So, I tried my new sleeping med and it appears that it is not working either. It is quite frustrating for me to not be able to sleep. My next step is take a benadryl and watch M*A*S*H in hopes that it can be helpful for some sleep.

Well, I hope everyone has a good night or morning or evening depending where they are in the world. I am saying goodnight in hopes to getting some sleep. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you read my blog. I am grateful for each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Been a Busy Couple of Weeks

Hello, World!!! It has been almost two weeks since I last posted. I have been busy with a lot of things lately especially job related. I’ve done my three shadowing shifts that I needed to do. In fact it is suppose to be six shadowing shifts however everyone I shadowed informed my supervisor that I don’t need all six shadowing shifts. I still have other training’s I need to do as part of my job. Despite having to do more training’s for work, I still yet to be called to do a shift for someone as I am an on call shelter counselor.

On top of work stuff I have been volunteering at the Warm Line as well as a group facilitator at a peer run agency. Not only am volunteering two places and working I am also volunteering for two local politicians. I am the annoying person who calls you to remind you to vote and to endorse the candidate I am volunteering for. So, yes, I am getting more involved with politics this year. I loved it the last time I did it and have decided to do this year.

I have also been going to doctors appointments every two weeks. This is to help me not go to the emergency room for minor health issues as well as mental health stuff. It appears to be working a great deal as it is keeping me from going to the emergency room for minor health issues.

On top of seeing my regular doctor every two weeks, I am seeing my therapist twice a week.  He is doing this to help me stay out of the emergency room as well the extra support I need right now in regards to my new job. My therapist is amazing. He is just as amazing as Gilbert and Diana were.

Thank you for reading. I hope to be more vigilant when it comes to blogging on the more regular basis. I am grateful for all of you who read my blog regularly. Have a goodnight everyone. Peace out, world!!!

Sleepy Sunday Morning Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! I meant to blog yesterday about my first shift as a shelter counselor however I slept most of the day due to my shift being twelve hours at night. I was planning on doing it last night but I was still a little groggy from working and trying to take in my first shift and couldn’t find the words to write about my first shift. I still can’t find the right words for my first shift. I could have attempted to post about my first shift sometime during the middle of the night as I didn’t sleep on purpose so I can sleep today as I work tonight.

As I sit here blogging I am watching the morning news as I wait for my sleeping meds to kick in. I just want to get enough sleep today so my shift doesn’t go as slow as it did Friday night going into Saturday as I didn’t sleep at all on Friday. I am not sure if watching the news is the greatest idea before going to bed as the news can be quite triggering to fall asleep. The news can trigger my PTSD which could cause no sleep at all.

Before I go, I want to remind everyone who reads my blog that I have advertisements on it so I can earn some extra money. The only way I can earn extra money from the advertisements is if you my reader click onto the advertisement. Each click of the advertisements gives me a few extra cents to my name. The extra money I earn from the advertisements will help me pay for gifts when the holidays come up in December. So I hope you click on the advertisements so I can earn a few extra cents so I am able to buy gifts for people to give to people during the holidays.

I should get going and try to relax so I can get to sleep so I can function at work tonight when I do a twelve hour night shift. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. I hope to blog before going to work tonight but no promises. I also hope to attempt to blog tomorrow about my job but I don’t know how tired I will be.

I hope everyone has a good restful Sunday. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Getting Ready For My First Shift

Good Evening, World!!! I start my first shift as an on call shelter counselor tonight. I will be doing a shadowing shift tonight. I am nervous about it because it is a twelve hour shift at night. I am also having anxiety over it because I have had much sleep today.

In all honesty I am having more anxiety over when my second shift is going to be due to me not knowing when it is going to be happening. According to my supervisor I need to do three shadowing shifts counting the one I am doing tonight. We briefly discussed it the past Monday (October 1st) but never confirmed the days. I just don’t want to miss a shift and get into trouble for not attending a shift. I did email my supervisor both yesterday as well as today. In fact my last email to my supervisor was less than a half an hour ago.  I think I’ll text and/or email him tomorrow after my shift to inform him how it we and to ask about my next shift once again.

I know I am having anxiety over something I cannot control. I just want to make sure the next time I work that I get enough sleep especially since my shifts our twelve hours long and at night. I am sure my supervisor will let me know in time when my second shift will be so I can get enough sleep.

Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope to let you know more about my shift at some point tomorrow. Have a good weekend everyone. Happy Friday to each one of you. Peace Out, World!!!

Hump Day Morning Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! Happy Hump (Wednesday) Day!!! I woke up extremely early this morning due to a fucking nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep. I have attempted many times since waking up to post but am finally in a space to be able to do so.

Just like this morning, I didn’t have a good morning yesterday. In fact my day yesterday (Tuesday) was shitty. I woke up yesterday with strong urges to self harm which I did NOT act on. I thankfully had an appointment my doctor and I was noticeably upset which is rare for my doctor to witness. We discussed the issues of self harm and did a safety plan before we called my therapist. Surprisingly, he picked up and the three of us talked. We decided that I would go see my therapist yesterday for an unexpected session.

When I attended my unexpected session yesterday, my therapist and I spent an hour and a half talking about what the hell was going on with me. We discussed self harm issues of course.  We also discussed how a combination of the grief with my grandma and the stress of starting a new job which could be causing the high urges to self harm. During our unexpected session yesterday we both agreed that me coming in today for my regularly scheduled appointment would be very much needed.

So, when I woke up this morning with a nightmare, I also woke up feeling suicidal and having urges to self harm. So that is when I called the after hours crisis line I am able to call when I am in a crisis. As I talked with the woman on the other end who knows me well, we discussed ways to keep myself safe till I see my therapist later this morning. So, yes, I can keep myself safe till I talk with my therapist and come up with another safety plan with him during our appointment.

Another thing that is keeping me from self harm and dying by suicide is that I have a training I need to be at for work this evening. So, working is actually helping me with keeping myself safe from myself.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I am grateful for all of you because you read my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

(SIDE NOTE: I will NOT attempt to die by suicide and I will NOT harm myself.)

Friday Night Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Friday to everyone out there reading my blog. It is hard to believe that I will have my first shift a week from today. I am looking forward to it. The one thing that I am not looking forward to this next week is all the orientations I have to attend. In fact I have about twelve orientations I have to do within the first sixty days of employment. I am having some high anxiety over the new job but I am looking forward to it at the same time.

As much as I would like to blame the lack of sleep as of lately due to new job jitters, it is not the case. I haven’t been sleeping very well as of lately. In fact worse than usual for me. Enough for my psychiatric nurse practitioner and regular doctor to consider putting me in a sleep study.

I am not sure about the sleep study but I think I am going to call it a night even though it is only eight thirty in the evening in my corner of the world. Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!