Still Struggling but Doing Better

Good Evening, World. It is almost ten o’clock on a Sunday night here in rainy Seattle. I feel like the rain fits my current mood of being depressed. On that note, it feel like the depression is lifting a little bit which is a really good thing.

Sadly, I did not go to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City this morning because I did not get much sleep last night. It felt like I didn’t getting any sleep but I’m sure I got some sleep; sort of like cat naps or I would have most likely slept all day today if I got absolutely no sleep last night.

I’ve been lucky today as I had some of my support system help me out today. My uncle and grandpa came over with some breakfast. After we ate breakfast, my uncle and grandpa helped me a little bit with cleaning my apartment. It’s still a disaster area but at least you can tell there is some improvement.

After my family helped me with my apartment, I decided to turn on my music and play it very loudly. So, loud I will be surprised if one of my neighbor don’t complain to the apartment management. On that note, while having my music on full blast, decided to do some art work. The type of art work I did was coloring. I love to color and was able to finish the piece I was coloring to give to a friend who is a neighbor and live in my apartment building.

So, I went up to my friends apartment who is a neighbor and gave him my finished coloring piece I colored for him. In fact his music was on blast as well. He was also doing some art work except he was painting. In fact he allowed me to add to his painting which I found cool that he let me help him with this painting.

When I came back from my friends apartment, I decided to binge watch a couple of television shows on Netflix and Hulu. Of course, Billie Dean, my cat sat on my lap as I binged watched television shows. I love my cat so very much. He is a very sweet and loving kitty. He is also very much a lap kitty which is great especially when my depression is acting up.

As far as the Everyday Inspiration course I am taking through WordPress, I plan on continuing the course where I last left off. I really enjoy taking this course. It helps me stay focused on blogging. It also helps me keep you the reader more interested in my blog or at least that is my hope in what it does.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you, the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Art of Depression

Good Morning, World!!! As stated in my last post, I have been fighting off some symptoms of depression. Dealing with depression sucks shit but it is a part of my life even if it is not fun to deal with.

Dealing with depression has helped me find out what I love. I love my cat and art. Something I have been doing the last few hours since my last post is art work. Specifically, I have been combining genre’s of painting and collage. I am creating an art piece of my cat, Billie Dean, and my beloved adopted city of Seattle. It is not coming out I like but I know it will eventually come out okay. Okay enough to hopefully, put on my living room wall. I feel like putting up artwork on my wall makes my home a home. I do have artwork hanging on my wall from friends, neighbors and family. For me art helps me with my depression. I hope that when I am finished with this particular artwork that I will share it with you fine folks.

Now that I have bored you to death with my talking about artwork and depression, I will end this particular blog post. It is time for me to go to bed. Yes, I know it is seven in the morning here in Seattle but I work a twelve plus hour night shift tonight. Before I go, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting My Way Through Depression Symptoms

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am dealing with increased depression symptoms. Symptoms that have prevented me from working on my Intro to Poetry course I am taking through WordPress. I will start back up the course on Sunday morning. Poetry is quite helpful for me and the symptoms of the handful of mental health diagnosis I am diagnosed with.

The thing that has been helping me through this bought of depression is binge watching television shows since I haven’t been writing poetry. The two television shows I have been binge watching are. The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross and M*A*S*H. The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross has quite a calming affect on me. There is something about watching Bob Ross painting that is soothing or at least he is soothing to me. As far as M*A*S*H; the humor of the comedy of the show has me laughing. Laughing so much that I almost pee my pants. The soothing of Bob Ross and comedy of M*A*S*H is helping lift my depression symptoms and for me that is a great thing.

Since I have updated you on what is going on, I am going to end this blog post as I do not have much more to write about. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

A Memorial Day Post

Good Afternoon, World!!! The weather here in Seattle is a bit gloomy which is fitting for it being Memorial Day. Today is Memorial Day here in the United States and is a holiday that we remember our fallen troops. The one thing I do not understand is many people here in the United States don’t really understand what Memorial Day is all about and that saddens the hell out of me. I just wish I could do what I normally do on Memorial Day; put flags on the grave of fallen soldiers but sadly I cannot due to Covid-19.

Since it is a gloomy day here in Seattle, I will be spending it at home with my cat, Billie Dean. If Billie has his way, he will be spending Memorial Day in my lap and he will be getting his way in this aspect as he and I both need it today. I think we both need him to be in my lap today as it comforting to the both of us.

While Billie is in my lap sleeping, I will be watching one of my favorite childhood shows; The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I do not know why but for some reason this show puts me at ease and calms me down. Maybe it is how he speaks or how he paints or maybe a combination of both. I also think the reason why I like the show so much it that Bob Ross makes the painting look so easy. I just love watching the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys your Monday. Please do not forget to take moment of silence for those who lost their lives fighting for our freedom. Peace Out, World!!!

A Midnight Post

Hello, World!!! It is midnight in my corner of the world. I am staying up all night due to the fact I have to sleep all day. I need to sleep all day on Saturday’s because I work a twelve and a half hour night shift. I really enjoy my current job with the exception of it being a night shift. I am not a big fan of it being twelve and a half hours but I think if it was a day time shift I would be more accepting of a twelve and a half hour shift. My colleagues are great and it feels like a family type environment. The clients I work with are awesome. My supervisor is super supportive. I think the reason I have stayed at my current job for so long is because of my colleagues and supervisor as well as it being a supportive environment. The main reason I am looking for a new job is I don’t do well with a night shift.

Speaking of looking for a new job, I mentioned in an earlier post, I have a job interview at a local mental health agency. I hope I get the job because I love working in supportive housing. I also love being employed as a peer support specialist also known as a peer counselor. I am trying to not get my hopes up high about getting the job because if I don’t get it, I don’t really want to be let down. No matter what if I don’t get it the job, I will be let down but if I keep my expectations low then the let down won’t be so hard. I am looking forward to the interview because I will consider it practice especially if I don’t get the job.

Anyway on to something completely different. One of the ways I will keep myself from falling asleep is doing some art. I will be doing different mediums (genres) of art. I will be doing some coloring, painting and some collage. I most likely be combining the collage with some painting. I love my completed art work when it combines painting and collage. It is very interesting. I also enjoy giving my art away. People wonder why I don’t sell it. I don’t sell it because I don’t think its worth very much. I also love being able to give people hand made gifts.

The best part of Friday nights is that I get to spend the entire night awake with my cat, Billie Dean. I really think he appreciates when I don’t sleep at night because that way I spend the night playing with him and being awake with him. I love my cat so much. I really enjoy the fact that he is a cuddle bug. I think if it were up to him, he would spend all of his time in my lap.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

Gloomy Weather + Art + A Cat + Therapy = A Day of Self Care

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally got some sleep. Not much sleep but some. I am grateful for the little sleep I did get. Sleep is key for me to help maintain the mental health symptoms of the diagnosis’s I have.

In all honesty my mood fits today’s weather here in Seattle. It is gray and gloomy which is how I feel at the moment. My gloomy mood most likely has something to do with the lack of sleep however it is something to be aware of as a just in case. A just in case depression symptoms start increasing. On that note, I am sort of glad the weather fits my gloomy mood because it means I can just lay back and do some art.

The type of art I plan on doing is coloring, collage and painting. In fact I am planning on finishing up one art piece that combines collage and painting. In fact I am extremely proud of this particular piece and hope to share it with you. I also plan on doing some coloring. Coloring soothes me as well as soothes the inner child in me.

Speaking of art, I will be watching the television show, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. It is another thing that soothes me and my inner child. The Joy of Painting helps me be at peace. There is something about Bob Ross and his painting that puts me in a state of calm.

Another thing I will be doing since I will be spending the day at home on this gloomy day is spending time with my cat, Billie Dean. I love Billie so much. I love the fact that he is a cuddle bug and very much a lap cat. I am happy to have him love on me today.

I am looking at the time and realize my therapy session  will be starting in the next twenty minutes. My therapist will be calling me at 12:30pm to have our session. Our session are currently on the  phone due to Covid-19. I would much rather have an in person therapy session but I totally understand why it is not at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!


Phuck It!!! I Can’t Sleep

Good Morning, I still haven’t slept and am getting extremely frustrated about. Especially since I have things that need to get done and be attended to. Not being able to sleep is quite annoying as well as frustrating and wish my meds would work. I guess this is the time to use the DBT Skill; Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance isn’t one of the easiest DBT skills for me to use especially in regards to not sleeping but it is one of the most useful skills for me to use.

Besides using radical acceptance, I have been doing some art. I have been coloring, collaging and painting. I have also been doing a combination of mediums (genre’s) which has been quite fun and interesting. In fact I am happy to see some great finished pieces that I hope to give to people at some point. I enjoy making things and giving the finish product to people for the hell of it.

Billie Dean, my cat, has been keeping me company as I do art work. I am grateful to have Billie in my life and happy that he came into my life when he did. I really miss my last cat, Lil Gertie and think she was the one that led Billie and myself to each other. I know it seems weird but I think it’s the case. I sure love Billie and that he is a such a lap cat.

I don’t have much more to say. I do however want to thank every single one of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope each one of you enjoys the Wednesday ahead of you and that you are able to find joy in this day. Peace Out, World!!!

Mindful Monday Type of Day

Good Evening, World!!! It is just another day in Seattle except it was a day I was able to see a friend I haven’t seen since the last day of school our freshman year of high school. She is here on a business trip and it was great to see this friend after nearly 25 years of not seeing her. The best part of seeing this friend was seeing her reaction the weather in Seattle today. Today’s Seattle report goes like this: Sun, Rain, More Sun, Snow, More Sun, Drizzle, More Sun which isn’t surprising to those of us who have lived here for quite some time. My friend asked me if this was “normal weather,” and my answer was “what you see is what you get” and then we both laughed. My friend said she wouldn’t be able to get use to weather like today and I said good we don’t need anymore people and we laughed again. It was nice seeing this friend and will be seeing her again tomorrow evening.

Now that I am home for the evening, I am missing my beloved cat immensely. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about my cat, Lil Gertie. I will be getting another kitty, eventually. My therapist wrote a letter as well as filled out the proper paperwork for me to turn into my landlord to be able to get approved for a reasonable accommodation for an emotional support animal (ESA). My new therapist concurs with my previous therapist that having an animal around for me would be helpful for my recovery. I have to agree that having a cat is quite helpful for my mental health recovery. So, once I get an emotional support animal approved by my landlord I will be getting another kitty.

Having an emotional support animal is just one of many ways to help me with my recovery. Another way to help me with my recovery is to listen to some mindfulness meditation twice daily. This has helped me with my anxiety as well being able to be more focused on what I need to do in the moment and for the day.  Now on something else that is a type of meditation for me.

That is watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. There is something meditative about Bob Ross and his paintings. I am able to be mindful watching the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I will be attempting to paint what he does but I am sure it won’t look like

Grief is a Sign that You Have Loved and Loved Greatly

Hello, World!!! Right now I am crying over my cat, Lil Gertie. I am missing her a great deal at this very moment in time. Grieving her has been one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. But grieving is a sign that you have loved and loved greatly. I loved my cat, Lil Gertie so much. She gave me peace when she was alive and I think if I do some form of are that it will give me a sense of peace. I think I will watch the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross as he is peaceful. Maybe I can find some inspiration from Bob Ross from what he paints so I can get some idea about painting Lil Gertie.

I guess I am going to watch The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I hope it will help with the grief. I love Lil Gertie so much. I think I am trying to add something from Seattle in it as well but won’t be anything like Bob Ross’s paintings. Anyway, I hope I get inspired.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I do no have much more to say. Lets just hope there is no snow in Seattle. Have an awesome weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!

Blogging in Pain While Being Mindful

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here typing primarily with one hand and it is quite challenging. Long story short last Friday, (November 8th), I injured my hand and wrist. I tripped over my poor cat, Lil Gertie. Thankfully, my cat, Lil Gertie, is just fine and being her usual self. Sadly, I am the one who got injured but am beyond grateful that Lil Gertie was not injured. Like I mentioned at the beginning I injured my wrist and hand. I went to the Emergency Room (ER) and got it x-rayed and unfortunately it was too swollen to notice any type of broken bone or fracture. Both the resident and attending believe I could have some form of fracture which is why they put my wrist a supportive type thing I can take on and off but want me to keep it on till I am able to get it re-x-rayed which is going to happen this Friday (November 15th). If it is fractured I will get a cast if not I will continue wearing what I have and go to physical therapy. They put me on some pretty powerful pain meds. I am not taking them as often as my doctor would like because I fear of getting addicted but my doctor is grateful that I am taking them with the help of other things. For instance I am also taking over the counter (otc) meds like Tylenol and Ibuprofen as well as icing my wrist and doing some mindfulness and mediation. I may be in a pain but at least I am able to get through it.

As I mentioned one of the ways I am helping with the pain is doing some mindfulness and meditation. I am primarily using the Calm App to do this. I have found that the Calm App to be quite helpful. The primary narrator is Tamara Levitt. She has en extremely calming voice.  The Calm App is a free app and you can also subscribe to it annually to receive more mindfulness techniques which is something I have done. I really enjoy doing mindfulness meditation now. I have found it quite helpful for my recovery with my mental health challenges as well as with my health. Yes, it is sometimes challenging to take time out of your day to do mindfulness and/or meditation but it helps start the day off right as well as to end the day off right. I schedule to do it twice a day and try to make an effort to do it more than twice daily.

Something else I have been doing lately beside mindfulness meditation is art. The type of art I have specifically been doing is painting. I have been painting some abstracts that are looking pretty cool. It is something I can do with my good hand and wrist. Painting and other type of art help me a great deal with letting out emotions I am unable to speak which is essence helps me with my recovery.

I don’t have much else to say and am in physical pain so I will end this post. I hope everyone has a good rest of your day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. In fact I hope everyone has a great rest of their week. Peace Out, World!!!