Good Morning, World!!! And to everyone in the United States, Happy Dead Turkey Day, also known as Thanksgiving Day. I find myself awake at this hour in the morning due to insomnia. I have taken my Melatonin, sleeping meds and some sleepy time tea. I have also listened to some sleeping time meditation to help me sleep but it appears nothing is helping at the moment.
I’m not going to lie, today is the first Thanksgiving since my grandma passed away and it is going to be a difficult one. Or at least I expect it to be a difficult one for me and my dad’s side of the family especially for my grandfather. As worried as I am on how I am going to handle today with the emotions that the holidays normally brings to me, I worry about the grief that not only will be happening to me but to my family. I just want to make sure I am able to hold my emotions together for my family and let my emotions go when I am not around my family.
I do have a good self care plan in place specifically for Thanksgiving as my therapist and I came up with one during our session this past Tuesday. My therapist may have still not been feeling better but I am grateful that he is back even if its for part time for the rest of the year. He appears to be the type of person who is rarely out sick but am grateful that he is back. I just wish he was feeling at 100%. I am going to start seeing him twice a week till mid January to help me through the holidays. We might do the two sessions a week till the end of February since my grandma passed away in mid-February and her birthday was in mid January. He just wants to makes sure I continue to stay stable and improve. All he is asking for right now is to stay stable like I am at the moment. But with now pressure.
I am so grateful for you my reader. Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great Thanksgiving Day. Have a wonderful day all. Peace Out, World!!!
Hello, World!!! It is still Monday in my part of the world. I am still dealing the Monday moodiness I wrote about in my last post. I am still dealing with depression, grief and isolation as well as other not so good emotions.
I have been doing things to help me through the rough emotions since my last post. My cat is now back sitting next to me on my chair. She is purring right now and the purring is helping calm me down.
I have also done some art work. I have done some painting. I am painting something for a friend of mine to give as gift to her as she has been of great support to me. I am not finished with the painting and she has no idea I am painting her something. I hope to be able to give it to her by Thanksgiving.
I have also been writing. I have been mainly writing poetry. Poetry that I hope to share with you my reader someday but not today. Writing poetry is quite helpful for me and I wrote a poem for my grandma in regards to dealing with my grandma’s death on Valentine’s Day of this year (2018).
Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope to blog again tomorrow. I hope to inform you how my doctors and therapy appointments go tomorrow. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Afternoon, again, World!!! I am so excited for the conference next week that I created a painting expressing how I feel about attending the conference. Painting is not just for me to express my negative emotions but to express the positive emotions as well. I am thinking about taking the painting to the conference to share with people. Art is so helpful for me to express my emotions.
Even though I don’t check into the hotel to three in the afternoon on Monday, I have started packing. Which reminds me I have to get my refills for my meds on Monday before I leave for the conference. I already know what to pack but making sure I get my meds are the major thing I can’t forget to pack as I have refill to pick up on Monday.
I am also getting excited about my job interview for next Friday, August 31st for a peer specialist position. Yes, the commute will not be fun as it is about an hour each way on the bus. But on the bright side if I get the job, I will be traveling the opposite direction of the main part of the traffic nightmare since everyone tends to go toward Seattle while I’ll be going the opposite direction of most everyone else. I am not saying there won’t be traffic the direction I am going in, its just the traffic going into Seattle is worse. Look, I am getting ahead of myself as if I already got the job but I don’t know if I even got the job because I haven’t had the interview yet.
Thank you for reading!!! It is really appreciative from my end of things. Like I said in my last post, I hope to blog about the conference during my free time at the conference. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Peace Out, World.
Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, I am having a mixture of emotions especially when it is in regards to my paternal grandparents. I am having a huge wave of grief that I am dealing with in regards to my paternal’s grandma’s death on Valentines day of this. Today’s wave a grief hit extra hard because this is the first birthday my paternal grandfather has had my grandma by his side in over seventy years even though they were married for sixty two and a half years. My grandpa is having a rough go at it so I invited him to my place to have a birthday dinner I will make. I don’t know if I can cook meatloaf as good as my grandma but that’s what he wants for his birthday or at least what he wants for his birthday from me. As I grieve over my grandma even six and a half months later, I celebrate my grandpa’s 88th birthday today.
On the other hand let me update you on the pain of my migraine. I did go to the hospital last night and had a bunch of test run on me because they wanted to make sure that the infection in my mouth hasn’t spread even though I informed the doctors it felt like a regular migraine. They were just be overly cautious because it turns out it was a regular ole pain in the ass migraine. My mouth infection is looking a great deal better and its starting to feel better as well. I’m still in pain from the infection but at least the pain is subsiding.
Now on to the fire alarm system and smoke detector inspection that happens every three months that ended up being a month late this time around happened today. My cat, Lil Gertie, was not a fan of the inspection. Hell, neither was I but I am sure it was worse for her and her poor lil ears. She freaked out a little bit but not as bad as I thought it would have had on her.
On the note of my cat she is helping me deal with my depression and grief at the moment. She is sitting next to me on my favorite chair as I blog this particular post. Having her cuddle up next to me while purring sure helps with both the depression and grief I am dealing with. With my emotions they way they are today, I am grateful for my cat.
I don’t have much more to say at the moment. Thank you for reading me ramble on about a bunch of randomness. I appreciate each one of you. I hope you have a great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Evening, World!!! Today has been roller-coaster type of day when it comes to my emotions. I was able to meet my spend down for medicaid due to a comprehensive dental examination. That means I officially have medicaid back on. Which will help with my dental, mental and physical health care. I also happy that I will be able to get the proper care I need to take care of myself.
On a side note I went to call my grandma on her cell phone to tell her some good news. The sad part of this is I had a lapse in judgement that she passed away just over six months ago which let the flood gates of grief come rushing in. I miss my grandma so much. A plus note, I did have lunch with my grandpa.
I talked on the phone with my therapist about my grief dealing with my grandma and he gave me the support I needed. He suggested that I journal and/or blog about the grief. Dealing with grief is not easy.
On to the positive note. I have an interview on August 31st for a Peer Specialist position. I am looking forward to having an interview and hopefully a job a peer. I should here back later on this week about getting an interview for a shelter counselor position. Not sure what position I would want more put at least I will have some job prospects coming my way.
I am also happy that I will be able to get the much needed dental care I so desperately need. Getting the proper dental care helps your overall health. Having good health will help me with being able to go back to work.
As you can tell I’ve had an emotional roller-coaster type of day. Please send out positive energy or vibes or prayers or whatever good mojo my way about getting the job that is best suited for me.
Thank you for reading. It is greatly appreciative to have readers like you in my life. I hope that my post as of lately gives out some hope to people because some of my post appear a little hopeless and depressing when I read back on them. It means a great deal that I have extremely awesome readers like you to help me keep blogging. If it weren’t for you the reader, I wouldn’t still be blogging. Thank you again for reading. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Afternoon, World!!! Today started out with me having to do some adulting. I had to go to DSHS and take care of a mistake that they made and was easily fixed. I then took care of some medical bills and getting charity care for most of the bills and on a payment plan for the rest of the bill. I also set up a payment plan with a collection agency due to an overdue medical bill. On top of that I got my meds and did some household chores.
After realizing that I got all my adulting done for the day by ten thirty in the morning, I realized my emotions were starting to get the better of me. The first thing I did was cuddle with my cat. I ended up playing with my cat with her wand thingy and laser which she loves playing with both.
As I played with my cat I realized my emotions were still at an uncomfortable level so I decided to do some art work. I did some painting as well as collaging. I even combined the two genres which looks really cool.
As I finished painting I decided to play with some of the toys I have which helped a great deal. It helped me deal with the childhood emotions I was dealing with when I was done doing the adulting things. There is something therapeutic about playing with toys even as an adult.
My grandpa then called me if I wanted to go over to his place to go swimming and to have dinner. I, of course said yes to this. I love swimming and it is hard to say no to free food. I swam for a couple of hours and ate till I was stuffed.
So when I came home from my grandpa’s house, I decided to sit down at my laptop and blog about it. Dealing with both my adulthood and childhood emotions today was a good thing emotionally.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. I am grateful that I have people like you who are willing to read what goes on in my life. I hope you all had a great Monday as mine turned into an awesome one. Have a great evening. I hope all of you will continue to read my blog, no matter how much I ramble on. Peace Out, World!!!
Good Morning, World!!! I don’t know where to start so I guess, I will start at the beginning. I started off the day with going to the DSHS office and well it always sucks dealing with government agencies but thankfully everything was taken care of. Thankfully, I am getting some of my medical back and getting my food stamps back.
After dealing with DSHS, I had to make some phone calls. Phone calls regarding medical bills and one collection agency. I have been able to get charity care and/or make payment plans which is a burden off of my back.
I have also gone to the pharmacy to get my meds for the week. I am now getting my meds on the weekly basis per my psychiatric nurse practitioner. After having a suicide attempt a month ago with Tylenol she didn’t want to risk me overdosing on my meds. To tell you the truth I am more likely to stop my meds than to over dose on them. I am hoping that I will only have to do this for a month or two to prove myself again. I know she is only doing this for my protection. So, I got my meds and I take them as prescribed.
I have some household chores that I have been putting off that finally got done. Getting my household chores done is a great accomplishment.
Hell, doing everything I have done today by ten thirty in the morning in my corner of the world is a major accomplishment. I am very proud of myself for being able to do all this by ten thirty in the morning.
Now, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my day. I know I will be spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as she helps me with my emotions. As I figure out what to do with the rest of my day, I want to thank you for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Monday and a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!