A Valentines Day of Grief

Happy Valentines Day, World!!! I have never been a big fan of Valentines Day because, why do you need a selected day to say “I love you.” Plus it adds added pressure to relationships to make sure the day is special which isn’t the best thing for relationships.

Despite the usual reason, I am not a big fan of Valentines Day is that my grandma died on Valentines Day of 2018. So, today marks the two year anniversary of my grandma’s death. She died due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease. My grandma fought hard for her life as well for those she loved especially her family. I miss my grandma so much but I know she is looking down on me as my guardian angel.

Billie Dean my new cat is helping me through today by just being himself. He is being the lovable, cuddly, talkative and playful self he is to be. I am so grateful that he chose me when he did. I love my Billie Dean.

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday and Valentines Day. Peace Out, World!!!

Grief is a Sign that You Have Loved and Loved Greatly

Hello, World!!! Right now I am crying over my cat, Lil Gertie. I am missing her a great deal at this very moment in time. Grieving her has been one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. But grieving is a sign that you have loved and loved greatly. I loved my cat, Lil Gertie so much. She gave me peace when she was alive and I think if I do some form of are that it will give me a sense of peace. I think I will watch the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross as he is peaceful. Maybe I can find some inspiration from Bob Ross from what he paints so I can get some idea about painting Lil Gertie.

I guess I am going to watch The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I hope it will help with the grief. I love Lil Gertie so much. I think I am trying to add something from Seattle in it as well but won’t be anything like Bob Ross’s paintings. Anyway, I hope I get inspired.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I do no have much more to say. Lets just hope there is no snow in Seattle. Have an awesome weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!

An Anxiety Type Post Dealing with Cats and Volunteering

Hello, World!!! It just barely after nine in the evening in my corner of the world. I am anxious about tomorrow. I am anxious because I am going to have my first shift at the animal shelter I adopted Lil Gertie from. It is going to be bittersweet as it will bring up some grief and sadness but also be a blessing for me as it will remind me of the love I received from Lil Gertie. Plus the animal shelter I adopted my precious cat, Lil Gertie, has indeed become like family to me. I was encouraged to apply a number of times but when Lil Gertie received the dread diagnosis of cancer, I knew it was time to apply and I actually followed through with it even though I was in the midst of going to info sessions and trainings, Lil Gertie crossed over the rainbow bridge.

I think the family I received just adopting Lil Gertie is growing a little stronger and becoming larger now that I am going to be volunteering. I will be meeting new friend which means they will become family or at least that is what I have experienced with other volunteer gigs and the same thing at all my paid jobs. I never knew how much support I would get or how my support system would grow when I adopted, Lil Gertie. The adoption of my cat, Lil Gertie is has been proven helpful for me with growing some great support from people I would have never encountered in any other way. If I didn’t adopt Lil Gertie, I wouldn’t be making new friends and have them become family to me.

So starting to volunteer at the animal shelter I adopted Lil Gertie as is a way to not just honor her and her memory but a way for her to still be with me in spirit. I am anxious about it but I know she would want me to do this. I am hoping this will help with my grief as well.

I do not have much more to say because it feels like I am starting to repeat myself. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome week ahead of the. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Cat, Lil Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Right now, I am really missing my cat, Lil Gertie. Friday evenings as well as Friday nights are quite challenging for me when it comes to missing Lil Gertie. It is challenging for me because I am so use to staying up all night on Fridays and having her snuggle with me as I read or watching something on a streaming site so I could sleep all day on Saturday due to work on Saturday nights. Cuddling with Lil Gertie helped a great me a great deal with my anxiety and PTSD which ultimately helped me with not stressing about work or other daily activities. Another time that is challenging for me is when I come home from work on Sunday mornings and having Lil Gertie greet me at the door. I miss my time with her and I realize that to grieve mean that I loved and loved with all my heart.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday evening. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Goodbye, 2019

Happy New Years Eve, World!!! This year has been a year of ups and downs. Mainly a year of ups and a great deal of growth within my mental health recovery. I owe a lot of my growth to my last therapist and my cat, Lil Gertie. Sadly, my last therapist went on paternity leave and when he comes back his job duties will be changing which means I just got a new therapist. My new therapist seems nice enough but I have only had two sessions with him.

As I mentioned, I also owe some major improvements in my recovery to my cat, Lil Gertie. She helped me a great deal. She helped me learn how to love. Lil Gertie not only helped me to love others but to love myself. I think if it wasn’t for Lil Gertie, there would have been some moments, specifically in 2018, I would have tried to take my own life. Thankfully, my love for her is what helped me. The best part of this year was bringing in the New Year with Lil Gertie. The worst part of this year was having to say goodbye to her on Thanksgiving Day evening. Having to say goodbye to your best friend is never easy. The grief of loosing a pet hurts and hurts like hell. If it wasn’t for the grief I have dealt with loosing Lil Gertie, I don’t think I would have come to the conclusion of what grief is all about. Its about realizing that you loved and loved with all your heart.

Bringing in 2020 and saying goodbye to 2019 is bittersweet. It’s bittersweet that I brought it in with my best friend, my cat, Lil Gertie, and won’t be saying goodbye to 2019 with Lil Gertie in it. However, if it wasn’t for adopting in Lil Gertie in 2018, I don’t think I would have ever even considered volunteering at an animal shelter. In fact I am now officially a volunteer where I adopted Lil Gertie at. My first official shift where I adopted Lil Gertie at is on January 7th. So, in essence I will be honoring Lil Gertie by starting off the New Year helping people and families find their perfect cat for their family.

I do not have much to say except that I am forever grateful for Lil Gertie and the hope she has given me for my future. I want to thank all of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great New Years Eve and an awesome 2020 ahead of them. Please drive safely and get home to your families in one piece. Happy New Years, World!!!

Missing My Cat, Lil Gertie

Hello, World!!! It has been a week and one day since my cat, Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge. It hasn’t been an eight days but I have received a great deal of support from my friends. I have amazing friends and have received many sympathy cards from them. Speaking of sympathy cards, Lil Gertie’s vet sent one even though she was not the vet who helped Lil Gertie cross over the rainbow bridge. She not only received an email from me but Lil Gertie’s records from the emergency vet.

I just wish it wasn’t so difficult but I am grateful she was in my life. Lil Gertie has helped me a great deal with my recovery and I am forever grateful to her for that. I will never forget her. To honor her in this post I will include one of my favorite pictures of her below. It shows how expressive she was. The picture is below:

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In honor of Lil Gertie. This picture is one of my favorite and is a prime example of her many facial expressions.

Now, that I have honored my beloved cat, Lil Gertie, I am going to finish this post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. I greatly appreciated each one of you for reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Have a great Friday. Peace Out, World!!!

The Post I’ve Been Dreading to Write

Good Morning, World!!! I have been dreading about writing this post for the last week as it is sad and devastating news or at least it is devastating for me. As many of you may know if you read a post a few months ago that my cat, Lil Gertie, was diagnosed with cancer. I knew there was a chance of helping her cross the rainbow bridge but I didn’t think it would be so soon. See, on Thanksgiving Day (Thursday, November 28th, 2019) evening Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge.

Like most everyone else across the United States I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. I went and spent the day with family. When I arrived back home Thanksgiving Day evening, I noticed Lil Gertie walking funny, with her head tilted and walking into things. I quickly realized I would need to take her to the emergency vet and most likely have to say goodbye. Before taking her to the emergency vet, I decided to feed her some turkey which she gobbled down and that made my heart happy.

The happy heart didn’t last very long as I knew what the reality was so I took her to the emergency vet. The emergency vet did in fact confirm that it was Lil Gertie’s time to cross the rainbow bridge. Sadly, while I was eating Thanksgiving dinner with my family Lil Gertie had a small stroke. Due to the stroke both of Lil Gertie’s retina’s detached which is why she was walking into things. Since she was unable to see, plus the stroke and cancer I knew I couldn’t bear to see Lil Gertie struggle, I knew it was time to let her go and cross the rainbow bridge. I was able to be with Lil Gertie as she crossed over with the help of the vet. I miss my cat so very much.

I did decide that I wanted Lil Gertie’s ashes and will be getting them in a couple of weeks along with a paw print and clump of her fur. The emergency vet also let Lil Gertie’s regular vet know. Lil Gertie’s vet reached out to me the past Monday (December 2nd) when she returned to the office after the holiday weekend. Lil Gertie’s vet was and is extremely empathetic and compassionate. She even sent me a sympathy card which I received yesterday (Tuesday) in the mail. Part of the reason I decided to keep Lil Gertie’s ashes as I know it will help with my healing process.

Speaking of the healing process I think that is why I waited so long to write this post. Yes, I realize tomorrow will mark a week since Lil Gertie crossed the rainbow bridge but it just stung too much. Hell, it still stings like hell.

As people in my life have been finding out about Lil Gertie and many know she was an Emotional Support Animal (ESA), I have been asked if I am going to get another cat. The answer is, YES but I am going to wait till after the holidays for many reasons. One of which is I want to give myself some time to grieve. I wish I had more time with Lil Gertie because I only had her for 1 1/2 years and she was only 7 1/2 years old but I know she accomplished what she needed to accomplish here on earth and it was her time to go.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of heart for reading my blog. I hope to post pictures of Lil Gertie in a later post. I hope everyone has a great day. I also hope you all have a great holiday season. Peace Out, World!!!