Tag Archives: Grief

Sleepless in Seattle Once Again

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am having a challenging time being able to sleep and it sucks shit. My grandma did five years ago and Valentines Day. Even though I never liked Valentines Day before my grandma passing away, her death just made me hate it even more. I just want one more hug from my grandpa however my cat Billie Dean gives me great hugs.

On to the hugs from my cat, Billie, he is helping with some art work. He is choosing what coloring book to color from and then the picture. So, I am hoping the picture I color that Billie chose comes out well.

On to a similar topic I ordered some crafty stuff. I ordered latch hook and cross stitching stuff to help ease my mind and do something with my hands. I figured I can learn new things like latch hook and cross stitching.

Something else I am learning is tarot cards. I am reading two books about tarot cards as well as the little bookletts in tarot boxes. I know I must sound nuts about learning tarot but if it can help with my recovery then I am all for it.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog post. I greatly appreciated it. I hope every has better sleep than I did. Peace Out, World!!!

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Five Long Years Without My Grandma

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Valentines Day and I have never been a fan of this holiday. The reason being is why do we need a special day to let those we love to say, I love you. I never quite comprehended why it is such a big deal.

Despite never liking Valentines Day, it is now especially more challenging for me. It is challenging for me because five years ago today my grandma passed away due to complications of Parkinson’s. She was like a mother to me as she and my grandpa helped my dad raise me. I miss her very much. I just want to call her up and tell her I love her.

On the plus side, my cat Billie Dean has been by my side since I came home from work. I love my cat, Billie to the moon and back. I know that he will give me the love I so desire as he is good at that.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you, the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Missing My Grandma on Her Birthday

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today is a sad day for me and my family. Today, would have been my grandma’s 93rd birthday. In fact, when I got up this morning, I tried calling her on her cellphone. It breaks my heart when I do this and wish it wasn’t so hard especially since it has been almost five years since she passed away. Sadly, my grandma passed away from complications due to Parkinson’s Disease.

I am honoring my grandma today by spending it with my grandpa and dad as well as my uncles. Another way I am honoring her on her birthday is going through pictures of her. I also bought some cupcakes and I will light a birthday candle on a cupcake to sing happy birthday after dinner tonight. I’m sure she would be appreciative of it.

I do not have much more to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you the reader, reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Blog About My Day

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! Today was a hard and busy day at work. I had two appointments with clients, a clinical meeting, called twenty-three client and wrote note on the client I saw and called. The best part such a busy day, I still managed to get my one hour lunch. I love that my current employer gives us an hour lunch and we get paid for it. Having a “meal” or something to eat during the work day unless you’re fasting for religious reasons one of the few mandatory rule we had. Of course seeing clients and writing notes on clients in a timely manner is also mandatory. I love my job and I am sad that I am getting laid off. I just wish my was not going to close. I love my job for many reasons. My clients are amazing and seeing their recovery process is awesome. Having great colleagues even the one that don’t like one another were civil and professional about it. Mostly it was that I felt support by my colleagues and supervisor. I supervisors who were not micromanagers which is why I was able to what I needed to do at work today.

Now that I am off work for the day, I’ve decided to do some self care. I started by going for a walk in this beautiful Seattle weather has I listened to music. When I got home from my walk I read a couple of chapter in the novel I am reading and then read a couple of comic books. After that I did some art as I listened to music my recovery play list. Of course, my cat Billie “helped” with my art work. Now, as I write this blog I’m still listening to music from recovery playlist as Billie lays on my legs. Doing this self care is helping me with the grief of being laid of from a job I love with a passion.

The grief with being laid of is real for me and many of my colleagues. It hasn’t been easy the last almost three months but I have faith that my colleagues and I will get through this grief together and in our own ways.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading it. It is greatly appreciated from end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle with Reminders of Childhood

Posted on by Gertie

First and fore most I would like to wish my friend Jodi a happy birthday. If she were still alive she would be 40 years old today. I think that is why I am listening to my childhood playlist on Spotify. To remember all the good things we had growing up.

I wish I could sleep but sadly I can’t. I think it is because I have so much on my mind which is why I am listening to childhood music and reading comic books. Of course Billie Dean my cat wants to help me blog.

Reading comic books and listening to childhood music help me grieve the death of my friend. She was a great friend, I should get going and try to sleep. I do have to work. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out World!!!

A Sleepless Night in Seattle for this Human but not the Cat

Posted on by Gertie

As I mentioned in my last post a colleague of mine attempted suicided. This friend and colleague are going to make it. I visited for a couple of hours and came home to do some self care. Self care that included reading about Seattle History while holding my teddy bear and other stuffed animals. Of course I am unable to sleep due to my colleague but my cat is sure sound asleep snoring a way. I love my cat so much and am appreciative that you read my blog not matter how debby downer it is or positive polly it is and everything in between. Thank you for being loyal readers.

Just Got a Dreaded Call

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! This is going to be a short and dreaded blog. I just got a call saying a colleague of mine attempted suicide. Thankfully, they are going to live but this is the what we expected but just not so soon. I will be visiting this colleague later today as it’s the middle of the night here in Seattle. I am grateful for my cat who is giving me the comfort and empathy, I need at the moment. I am grateful that my colleague will survive. I hope you all have a good rest of your night.

Just About Rumblings

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!!! I went to work today via going to the office tomorrow. I love going into the office as it gives me more proactive ways to do to do some work. I love my job and am sad that my employer is going under which means everyone is getting laid off. I am concerned about my clients that my employer serves. The need the help they need in the queer community .

On that note I had to go to the hospital due to having an injury. I have some major bruisers and a broken finger. My boss says I could work from home due to my injury. I love my job and that y supervisor isn’t a micromanager. My servicer is awesome.

I am happy to be home with my cat and he is helping me with the grief of being laid off from my employer. I love the fact that he comforts me with the grief with the laid offs.

I do not have much ore to say about this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog.

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time in the evening where I do my weekly check-in. It has been an up and down week for me. Sunday I volunteered a Paws Cat City and had a great time volunteering like I always do.

Monday, I took off because it was Valentines Day which is really difficult for me because my grandma died four years ago and Valentines Day. I didn’t know if I was going to be a hot mess or not so I took the day off from work. Valentines Day landed on a day I work from twelve noon to eight o’clock in the evening. I did pretty good till about six o’clock when the grief hit me like Tsunami. Besides being hit my a Tsunami of grief at six o’clock in the evening, I had a pretty good day. I went on brunch “date” with my grandpa at IHOP. We had an awesome time eating great food and remembering the good times with my grandma before she passed away four years ago.

Despite spending some good times with my grandpa as we remembered my grandma, I had a of friend call me to check in on me. I really think the support my grandpa and I gave each other as well as the support my friends gave me really helped with the grief. Of course my cat Billie Dean helped a great deal with help with the grief of my grandma especially when I became a hot mess with tears rolling done my face for about an hour.

As for work goes it went well. I really love my job. My colleagues are beyond awesome. All three of peers support specialist including myself got some add work to do which I think is awesome as it will ultimately help the clients we serve. I really love my job and the freedom they give use peers and how the supervisors don’t micromanage us peers.

I don’t have much more to say in the particular blog post. I do want to thank your for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

The Love Hate Relationship w/Social Media

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night here in the Seattle area. As some of you may be aware of that not only was yesterday (Monday) Valentines Day, it was also the fourth year anniversary my grandma past away. I had post several times yesterday on Facebook about how much I miss my grandma.

Sadly, I had to unfriend three so called friends. The all individually contacted me privately that I was being “too dramatic” about my grandma death. One even said that “loosing your grandma isn’t like loosing your mom.” This person does has a point but had no idea that my grandma was my motherly figure for a good portion of my life because my own mom was not able to be a mom to me at the time. Thankfully, my mom and are slowly minding our relationship which is a good thing as she did what she need to do to fix things in here life to be a better mom to me. On that note, I another so called friend let me that I “needed to kill” myself. So basically, was told I should die by suicide. There is no way in fucking hell that I will die by suicide as I have too much to live for.

The reasons I have to live for is one; I have have job I love with a passion. Two; I have the two loves of my lives; Billie Dean my cat and my teddy bear I’ve had since I was born. Three; I have friends and family that not only care about me but love me as well. Four, I want to let my clients know that suicide isn’t always the answer that they one day will do some great and awesome.

I am so glad suicide hasn’t grossed my mind in years. I’m glad that suicide is not an option for me. I love my live and am content with it. Plus, I have great supportive friend and family that love and care about me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post except that I do not want to die or kill myself. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is also greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!