A Random Post About Things

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am still dealing with the symptoms of both PTSD and Depression which sucks shit. I wish I didn’t have to deal with any mental health diagnosis but sadly I do. There is not much I can do about having a mental health diagnosis except to use healthy coping skills.

Coping skills such as doing mindfulness and meditation practices. In fact this particular skill is something that I make an effort to do every morning on a way to start my day as I find if I quiet my mind at the beginning of the day, my day tends to be a more skillful day to where I can handle things more easily. I also try to use it throughout the day as mindfulness and meditation appears to help me reconnect with the present moment.

The thing I have been doing most of today that I have found quite helpful is writing. I am taking a creative writing class that is put on by an organization that puts on art and creative type of classes for low income people. Anyway, this quarter I am taking a creative writing class that focuses on characters and scenes but mainly characters and no it is not a play writing class. The organization that is putting on this class offers a variety of classes every quarter but you are only allowed to take one and this is the same organization I took my comics class with. Anyway, the instructor of the writing class assigns us homework so he can make comments on it so we know what to improve upon and what he thinks is great. The homework is not for grading but for feedback. I am really enjoying the class so far.

As much as I love to write, I was starting to come to a type of writers block in regards to my writing homework so I stopped and decided to do some things that needed to be done. One of those things that I needed to do was to make a doctors appointment with my primary care physician for my regular check up I have every two to three months. In fact I am about a month and a half over due for this appointment. After making my doctors appointment I went and picked up my meds. My psychiatric provider wants me to pick up my psych meds twice a week. So I pick them up ever Monday and Friday. There are reasons I will discuss at a later time on why I pick up my psych meds twice a week. I am not a big fan of it but if it is helpful for my recovery then I am willing to do so.

Now, I am about to go on to Spotify to listen to a podcast. Specifically, I will be listening to a podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I will be listening to is Philosophize This. I am learning so much about philosophy from this particular podcast and am grateful for the learning for many different reasons. One such reason is it gives me something to discuss with others.

Since I will be listening to a podcast on philosophy I will also be coloring. I will be coloring the color page I have discussed with you as well as shared with you of what I had done. In fact I finally finished the bridge in the picture. In fact let me share with you what I have done thus far. The picture below is what I have accomplished so far:

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The picture I showed you in an earlier post except the bridge was just barely started and now the bridge is finished.

As you can tell from the picture above the bridge is complete but I have so much more coloring to do in the picture. I think, I will either work on the tree or the river next. Not sure what yet but will get to that once I turn on the philosophy podcast I am listening to.

Now that I have bored you to death with what I do to help myself when my PTSD and Depression act up, I am going to end this post. I also want to end the post so I can list to the philosophy podcast as well as color. But before I go, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things as if it was for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog and I would only journal. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

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Fighting Off Depression & PTSD

Hello, World!!! At this moment in time I am struggling with the symptoms of both my Depression and PTSD. I am not sure why the symptoms of my PTSD and Depression are acting up but they are. I wish I was not struggling with Depression or PTSD at the moment or ever but sadly both are a part of my life.

Since I am dealing with Depression and PTSD symptoms I am doing a variety of things to help not make the symptoms get worse are at least that is my hope. Right now I have been focusing on getting things together for a peer conference I will be attending on August 27th and August 28th however I will be arriving August 26th as I will be volunteering once again at this particular conference. I have attended every except the first year. So that means, I have volunteered at the second and third year it occurred and now am volunteering at the fourth annual Peer Pathways Conference. I am preparing for the conference by making my travel plans and booking a spot on an Amtrak train. I love taking the train. Another thing I am taking care of is making sure my cat, Lil Gertie, will be taken care of. Thankfully, I have secured a reservation for an Amtrak train and have secured a cat sitter for my cat, Lil Gertie. So, I am looking forward to this conference as many of the seminars, happen to be training’s that will be helpful for my career as a Peer Counselor even though I am not currently employed as one at the moment. The best part of this conference is that it is totally free for me since I am volunteering. Well, the conference, food, and hotel stay are free but I have to pay for my own travel which is okay with me. I will be going to the Amtrak station tomorrow to purchase my train ticket for my travels to the conference in a week. When I am at the conference I will miss my cat, Lil Gertie a great deal but she will be in good hands.

Speaking of cats, Lil Gertie, has been a great help with dealing with the symptoms of both my PTSD and Depression. She has been extra snugly and cuddly today which is something I have been need all day. I love the way she just lays on my chest and purrs. Having, Lil Gertie pick up on the signs when I am struggling is great because she didn’t need any training to do so and I haven’t had her since a kitten which means when I adopted her last year, she was meant to be my emotional support cat.

Another thing I have been doing to help combat my PTSD and Depression is doing homework for the writing class I am taking. I am really enjoying the writing class as it is focusing on characters and later scenes and now it is not a play writing class. I am enjoying the fact that I am learning different types of characters and how they play a part in a story. Maybe I can share one of my homework assignments with you later on in the writing course I am taking.

Besides writing another creative way I have been trying to reduce my Depression and PTSD symptoms is art work. The genre of art I have been focusing on besides writing is coloring. Coloring has been quite helpful for me and plan on giving away the stuff I color away as gifts. I will be framing the finished coloring projects so people can put it on their walls. I love to color and have been coloring since I was a kid. I got made fun of as a teenager because I continued to color and now “adult coloring” is a thing and it is something I never stopped doing. Coloring relaxes me.

I don’t have much more to say because I would end up repeating myself and nobody wants that. I want to thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great week ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

A Depressive Saturday

Hello, World!!! I woke up this morning to it being sunny outside yet extremely depressed. So depressed that I have been isolating all day which is not a good thing for me. Isolation tends to makes me more depressed. Being depressed sucks shit.

Even though I have been depressed all day and haven’t felt like doing shit, I have done something. I have managed to make some progress on the poster I am coloring which makes me quite happy. Coloring is a type of mindfulness exercise for me.

As I colored I listened to podcast. I listened to a podcast on philosophy and found another podcast that I started listening to on mythology. Mythology is a topic I enjoy as Wonder Woman background is in mythology. So throughout the day I would switch back and forth to a philosophy podcast to a mythology podcast. Being able to switch up topics is a good thing especially as I color.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a wonderful rest of your evening as well as your weekend. Peace Out, World

So Far, It’s Not A Good Friday

Good Evening, World!!! I am not having a very good Friday due to the fact that my depression and anxiety symptoms are acting up and I am getting easily angered. Specifically, I am getting easily angered at myself. I am getting easily angered at myself because I feel like I am not handling the symptoms of my anxiety and depression as well as I think I should be handling them. The reality of the situation is that I am handling the symptoms better than I think I am because I am not making the situation worse and am making a life worth living for myself.

The thing I have come to realize over the years, I tend to get angry with myself due to my mental health symptoms even when I am reacting to them in a positive way like building a life worth living. Even if people may not think I am building a life worth living with the things I am currently doing, I am building a life worth living because I am educating myself as well as being creative through art.

The way I am educating myself is listening to a podcast on Spotify about philosophy and after each episode, I research what the podcaster discusses. In fact the podcast on philosophy I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” Stephen West is the person that does “Philosophize This” and I personally think he does a great job. He captures my attention which is a good thing because of being diagnosed with ADHD and me wanting to educate myself further on what he discusses in each episode. For me willing to educate myself on a particular subject and/or topic due to how someone conveys the particular subject (and topic) says something about the person discussing it. When a friend of mine suggested that I listen to “Philosophize This,” I was hesitant at first but when I listened to the first episode Stephen West had me wanting to learn more due to his approach on the subject of philosophy. It is because of Stephen West passion for the subject of philosophy is why I am self educating myself.

As I listen to “Philosophize This” I am being creative by doing art which is another way I am creating a life worth living. The particular form of art I am doing as I am listening to the podcast is coloring. I am coloring a poster to give to my therapist to hang in his office. I realize that coloring may not be what most people consider a life worth living but for me if I can color something for others to enjoy, its a life worth living because others are able to enjoy what I created.

Even though I am coloring and listening to “Philosophize This,” I am still struggling and not having a good Friday. I wish the symptoms of my depression and anxiety would subside but sadly they are not which is why I am getting angry with myself. Being angry is never a good thing for me but if I continue doing good things for myself like listening to “Philosophize This” and coloring then I am able to control my anger. Being able to control the anger is a good thing.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you all have an awesome Friday. I also hope you all have an awesome weekend. I hope you all enjoy the next couple of days. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Day

Good Evening, World!!! I am slightly struggling at the moment. I wish I wasn’t struggling but sadly I am. I am specifically struggling with the symptoms of both my anxiety and depression. Having symptoms from both act up at the same time is a hell in of itself yet it appears that I always tend to pick myself up from dealing with both at the same time.

Despite dealing with intense depression and anxiety symptoms I managed to hang out with a couple of friends. My friends and I decided we would go out and have a late lunch early dinner. We went to a local diner we had never been to and love the food as well as the service. As much as I didn’t want hang out with friends or go out to eat, I am grateful I did both. It got me out of my apartment and my head. It is never a good thing for me to isolate so hanging out with friends was a good decision for me.

Now that I have been home for a couple of hours, I realize that I am getting stuck in my head again. I went to turn on the television and well poof a political debate was on just about every channel. I knew it was going to be on tonight and tomorrow but I wasn’t paying attention to the time so I when I realized it was on I turned off the television and now I am writing this blog post. Don’t get me wrong about not wanting to watch the political debate but since I haven’t educated myself on all twenty candidates I don’t want to watch the debate. I know I will watch political debates when the election gets closer.

Since the political debate is on I am going to listen to podcast on philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am going to listen to is called “Philosophize This.” I will be listening to it from my laptop via Spotify. I am learning a great deal about philosophy from this podcast because I listen to it and then look up some of what is discussed in the podcast. I love to learn about new things especially if helps me have educated conversations.

As I listen to “Philosophize This,” I will be doing some art. The type of art I will be doing is coloring. I am coloring a poster that I have been coloring on and off since late 2016. It is my goal to finish it so I can give it to my current therapist as a thank you. The poster I am coloring has an awesome saying that is great when it comes to the therapeutic relationship. I am hoping that when I am finished with it that I take a picture of it to share with you.

I do not have much more to say so I guess I will end this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Not So Good Mental Health Day

Hello, World!!! Today has been one of those not so good days in regards to my mental health symptoms. A day where I have experienced extreme loneliness as well as isolation. Of course some of the isolation is a protective fact so I don’t have an emotional outburst on anyone.

I just wish my depression and dissociation wasn’t acting up so bad. To make matters worse my voices are screaming at the moment. At least I am not suicidal nor do I have urges to self harm and that is always a plus.

My cat, Lil Gertie has been helping me a great deal. She has been been at my side or on my lap the entire day or at least in my waking moments. I have been sleeping a great deal today. Maybe because of the lack of sleep last night or because of the depression or maybe a combination of both. My music has been playing nonstop as it helps a great deal with the voices. I have also been doing a lot of art today. Mainly I have been coloring but I have done other forms of art. I just wish I wasn’t so lonely or even isolating. At least I have my cat, Lil Gertie.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

Lil Gertie’s First Year In Her Forever Home

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, marks it one years since I adopted my cat, Lil Gertie. It is difficult to wrap my head around on how fast this year went and what my life would be like if I didn’t adopt her. She has been a major support for me and has helped me a great more than I could ever have imagined.

On a side note, I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner. We discussed the normal shit that we usually do and then we got on the topic of how meds can only help so much. She was surprised by me saying that meds can only help so much because she has clients who think meds are the only things that help. When then discussed what things help me in congestion to my meds. We discussed various things that help me right along with my meds. Some of which to find out she enjoys as well.

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank so very much for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!