A Sleepless Time of Night in Seattle

Good Very Early in the Morning from my corner of the world known as Seattle!!! I am not really sure why I am unable to sleep tonight but it is frustrating as hell. I have been doing both coping skills as well as doing self care. They are helping a little bit but not as much as I wish they would help.

One of the things I have been dealing with is increased anxiety , PTSD and depression which sucks shit especially when they all decide to come all at once. One of things that appear to be helping it doing mindfulness meditation practices. It helps me stay grounded.

Another thing that helps me stay grounded in my so very smart kitty, Billie Dean. He seams to know when I need the extra support and makes sure I don’t leave his site. Oh how I love Billie and the connection we have. I am so grateful that he chose me. He is a great cat and am glad he is my cat.

Something else I have been doing it coloring. No, I am not coloring the Disney horror coloring book at the moment. I am coloring a coloring page I got from Stuff2Color.com. They have some awesome coloring pictures. In fact a colored one for my grandpa and framed it. I gave it to him for Christmas. He was happy about it and put it up on the wall for all to see.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

Just a Random Middle of the Night Post

Good Middle of the night, World!!!!. I have not been able to sleep for various reason which includes insomnia and depression. Honestly, I think I could have some dependence on Ativan. I don’t want to have a dependence of Ativan because I don’t need any more issues than I already have.

I did email my doctor just in case because I don’t want another issue on top of other issues I already have. I know I may be a bit paranoid but I rather ge on the cautious side.

I do not have much more to say about this particular blog post. I do want to thankyou for reading my blog. I hope you have a great night. Peace Out. World!!!

Covid-19 Testing Frustration w/a Good Out Come

I’m not sure how I should feel right now. Covid-19 is hitting pretty heard and dealing with isolation and quarantine doesn’t help with the depression symptoms a great deal. On the plus note I am feeling better regarding the Covid-19. Being isolated sucks. At least I have my cat, Billie Dean keeping me company. I’m also have friends and family checking in by telephone and virtually via Zoom.

The thing that gets me frustrated it that I can’t seem to get a Covid-19 test to see if I am still positive. At least I was able to get through the urgent care my clinic helps with. Being isolated doesn’t exactly help with my depression symptoms times as isolation is a major trigger for the depression.

One the plus side being able to work from home has been helpful as it gives me some human interaction. Not the type I want but it’s a form of human interaction. Plus, I have my cat Billie Dean to keep me company. I love the fact the Billie gives me lots of loves and cuddles.

I am also grateful for my friends, family and colleagues for checking up on me when they did not have to do do. I have an awesome support system.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do have to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom or my heart for reading it.

The Never Ending Thursday

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today feels like a really long Thursday. A Thursday that feels like the never ending storying. I think it feel like this is because I am still dealing with some symptoms of Covid-19. I am especially dealing with the fatigue, the brain fog, as well as the continuous sleepiness and migraines. At least the diarrhea is finally going away.

Oh a plus note, my employer has been very supportive with the Covid stuff as well as other stuff that might come up. My employer is extremely supportive and appreciates us employees. You don’t get that and many employees.

The best part of all this is I get to work from home and still get paid. And my colleague at home, my cat Billie Dean like to help. Sometimes his helpfulness can be a hinderance but at least my cat brings smiles to clients face and I say that is worth the hinderances. I do have to say Billie is my favorite colleague.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciate that you the reader do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite Being Tired as Hell, I’m Going to Work

Good Morning, World!!! I am tired as hell as I didn’t not get much sleep again. Part of the reason why I was unable to sleep was because of the depression and insomnia. The other part was because two of my neighbors on my floor decided to have an argument that led into a physical altercation. Not exactly my idea of a good night of sleep.

I do plan on working today due to the fact that I need the money to pay my rent and other bills which I count meds as a bill. If I don’t get my meds it’s not a pretty site for everyone involved. I love my job with a passion and want to make sure I practice what I preach when it comes to my clients.

Being a good example to my clients and to my colleagues is extremely impartment to me as I really want to be the person others can come to for advice. I hope this post doesn’t sound like I am bragging on myself because that is not my intention to do so. I just want to say that despite being extremely tired I will be going to work today. I love my job and love work with both my clients and colleagues.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog as you are the reason why I write my blog. I hope everyone has a great Thursday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Wanting to Escape from My Own Reality

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I really want to escape my own reality. The reality of the depression I am dealing with. I personally think the depression I am currently dealing with has something to do with being in quarantine due to Covid-19.

Let’s start with first things first, work helps me not focus on my own reality as I need to make sure the needs of my clients get met. Plus it feels good when a client accomplishes a goal that they have bee working on for a long time. I love being able to walk along side of people who are working on their own personal journey of recovery.

Another thing the helps me escape from my own reality is volunteering at a local animal shelter. Even though I have my own cat to play with it is gratifying to see cats get adopted into a furrever home. Seeing cats adopted is rewarding in itself and I am thrilled to be able to experience that and not just with the cats I have adopted but cats that have been adopted by others.

Another way, I find a way to escape from reality it reading. Reading all sorts of books including comics or comic books. I do have to say be favorite comic book is Wonder Woman and I have my dad to thank for that. Despite my dad loosing his ability to read, he always encouraged me to read. In fact my favorite genre’s of books are science fiction, fantasy and horror books. Since my dad is unable to read due to a traumatic brain injury (TBI), we call each other every evening and I read him books. Doing this has helped mend and heal our issues. We do occasionally read comic books but that is more my thing that my dad’s thing. I am just grateful that reading to my dad is healing our relationship.

Of course I can forget my sweet loving cuddle bug of a cat that helps me escape the realities of what life has to bring. The cat love is unconditional and am grateful for my cat Billie Dean.

Let not forget the most important of escaping reality which is sleep. Sleep can be a major reality escape especially with people dealing with depression and other such mental health diagnosis.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading m blog as if it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be witting my blog. It is great appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not the Most Productive Day I’ve Had

Good Evening, World. It is seven ten in the evening in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. If you have read my last few post, I was not able to at all last night and spent most of the the day sleeping. I am finally awake enough to be able to semi function and I by they I mean by writing this post. And of course having a neighbor who is a close friend get me some groceries. I just wish my neighbor would hurry up with getting me my groceries. I shouldn’t be complaining as this neighbor is one of the good guys and respects people even they don’t agree politically.

I guess, I am being inpatient is because I am tired as hell and didn’t sleep last night but did sleep most of day. I sadly, missed work due to the lack of sleep and and I highly dislike missing work as the clients I work with depend on me. I think part of the reason my sleep schedule is unpredictable is because my depression symptoms are starting to slightly increase which is not a good thing.

Not only is my neighbor who is my friend getting groceries for me, my cat has been even more cuddly more than he normally is. Billie being cuddly and my friend getting me groceries is very helpful for my depression symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Can’t F*cking Sleep

Good Morning from Seattle!!! I still have not be to sleep and it is fucking pissing me off. And I really don’t care if this post isn’t G rated. Part of me is wondering if I am unable to sleep because of depression but I am not having my typical signs of depression but it’s something to think about.

On the plus side of things, my family, friends and colleagues are worried about me. In fact they all have been checking in on me which makes me feel love and appreciated. I have some pretty awesome people in my life including my colleagues. My colleagues really seem to care about each other. Of course I know my friends and family love me and care about me.

And of course my precious kitty cat, Billie Dean loves me so very much. He has been following me around all day as well as cuddling with me. He is my baby and I don’t care what others think as Billie in part of my family. I am so glad that he picked me in the shelter. Being picked by any animal is a precious thing especially when it’s a cat or bird.

I best be going now as I am starting fall asleep as I write this blog. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom for my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

An Extremely Lazy Sunday

Good Evening, World!!! It is ten o’clock at night in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. I literally have done nothing all day be eat, sleep and read Wonder Woman comic books. I mostly slept all day. I wish I didn’t sleep all day because it screws up with my sleep hygiene; sleep schedule.

I’m starting to get worried about my sleep schedule because I am wondering it is mainly due to getting over Covid-19 or if depression symptoms are starting to creep back in. No matter the reason, I just want to be back on my normal sleep schedule. If it is because of depression, I will need to let both my physical and mental health teams be aware of it. As far as the Covid-19 shit messing with the sleep, I know it’s normal for some people to feel extremely fatigue that it makes them sleep more than they usually do.

As far as when I have been awake today, I’ve been in bed cuddling with my very sweet kitty, Billie Dean. In fact I joke around with people that I sleep with a man every night name Billie. Not my fault people don’t pick up on the joke especially when they know I have a male cat. Billie is such a cuddle but and a pain in the butt at times.

While being in bed most of the day cuddling with my precious cat, Billie, I have been reading comics. Specifically comic books. To be more specific, I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books. In fact the back story of me becoming a Wonder Woman fan was because of my dad who was a single dad. Long story short my mom abandoned both my dad and myself in the middle of the night when my dad was working a night shift leaving me home by myself at the age of three. I know my mom left a note but since I couldn’t l read it I called my grandparent phone number which I was required to memorize. Anyway, my mom left both me and my dad because she couldn’t handle dealing with a man with a TBI working on sobriety and a daughter dealing with hearing impairments and speech delays. Even though I had my paternal grandmother as a female role model, my dad with his intellectual disabilities and TBI know he was not able to read due to is disabilities he wanted to make sure I had a role model to look up to even if it was/is a fictional one. So at the age of them three my dad started buying me Wonder Woman comic books. As I grew older and learned how to read, I would read two to three Wonder Woman comic books to my dad as part of our bedtime routine. I may still be sad my dad was not able to read bedtime stories to me but am grateful that we looked and Wonder Woman comic books as apart of our bedtime routine which turned into me reading them to my dad once I was able to read. Yes, my grandparents did help with me learning to read but watching my dad full of pride with me reading is something I will never forgot.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except the my dad making sure I learned to read despite him not being able to read makes my heart happy and grateful. I would like to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reading reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader do read my blog. Again, from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 4: A Story in a Single Image

Billie’s first night home giving me a hug as he lays on my lap and chest.

Todays, “assignment” was to tell a story of an image. WordPress gave four images to choose from in which didn’t inspire me to write. So, I picked one that would. I picked one of my cat Billie Dean’s first evening at home with me. He is laying on me sleeping and it looks like he is giving me a hug.

Billie inspires me every single day especially when the symptoms of my depression increase. He inspires me to keep going. He is an inspiration because, he helps me stay focused on what I need to do to stay in Recovery. I love my cat and I love being in recovery. So that is why Billie is an inspiration.