Saturday Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here wishing I could be in a different head space that I have been in for the last year and a half. All I want in this world is to be back to doing well. I can’t help but think something better is coming my way. I just want some type of breakthrough with whatever the fuck is going on with the continued symptoms that appear to not be subsiding. I just cant lose hope. Hope is the essential to a persons recovery.

As part of my recovery I need to create some structure to help me and this is something that I feel like my treatment team is failing at but I share the responsibility as I am the one the is responsible for my daily life not my treatment team. I’ve learned that personal responsibility in my recovery is something that no matter how a person is doing symptom wise people respect you. I just need to take personal responsibility in make sure things don’t get worse.

One way I do that is doing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skills. Skills that have been quite helpful for me over the years. If I do my DBT homework I know that I will be able to do my skills.

I think after doing DBT homework, I’ll do some art. Specifically, painting and collaging. Art helps me express my emotions in a way I am unable to do so in other ways.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful night. Peace Out, world!!!

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Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! I realized that I didn’t do my weekly check for last week however I know what got in the way and will work on to make sure things don’t get in the way again. Yes, I realize life happens when I won’t be able to blog at time but I know what got in the way and will do may very best to let it not get in the way again.

My birthday was on Wednesday and I went into hang out at the mental health clubhouse before my appointment with Gilbert. Well, I let my emotions get the better of me and had an emotional outburst directed toward another client. A client that was being quite discriminatory toward my gender identity and sexual orientation. This person kept using the wrong pronouns toward me as well. Unfortunately, my emotions got the better of me and I started screaming and yelling at the individual after this person to leave me alone after being asked several times. I got barred for two days and I think it should have been longer. The other individual in the incident got a two day bar as well however it started a day after mine started.

I’m not happy with my behavior and have amped up my mindfulness practice as I feel it will help me. Help me regulate to regulate the emotions that get the best of me. Mindfulness has always helped me regulate my emotions.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!