The Count Down Is On

Good Evening, World!!! I can’t believe I almost forgot to post about this as today (Thursday) February 7th marks one month till my 40th birthday. I honestly did not think I would make it to my 40th birthday. I say this as I thought I would have died by suicide by the time I turned forty and have absolutely NO plans on doing so as I am in a really good place with my mental health challenges.

As much as I am thrilled that I am a month away from being forty years old, I can not help but think of all the ways that helped me get to where I am at. First and for most if it wasn’t for Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and many years of various types of therapy including DBT, I would not be here writing this post now.  I really thought I would have died by suicide and due to many people who believed in me, I am still here.

I am beyond grateful that I am still here as I have so much I can offer this world. Yes, I have some pretty bad downs however, I now know that I can get through them with with my DBT skill and the help of my friends as well as my mental health treatment team. To me making it to forty is proof that no matter how difficult things are, you can get through it. It might seem daunting as it most certainly is at the time but just know you can make it through.

I don’t have much more to say as I just posted about twenty minutes ago on an entire different topic. Thank you so much for ready my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good rest of their night. Peace Out, World!!!

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Ways To Get Through The Grief Today

Good Morning, once again, World!!! I know this is my third time blogging this morning but I am having a tough moment with grief at the moment. So I want to discuss what I plan on doing today to help through the grief of missing my grandma.

First and fore most I am relying on the support of Lil Gertie, my cat. She has her moments of being a cat and not want anything to do with me or any other human. Just having her around is helpful for me. She has be cuddly with me this morning which is most helpful with dealing with grief.

Another way I am going to deal with the grief is going to go to a local peer run organization to volunteer. I volunteer by helping co-facilitate a peer support group. Due to confidentiality I can’t go into more detail about it. But I enjoy being able to volunteer by co-facilitate a peer run group.

Another thing I am doing today is spending time with my family. We are celebrating my grandpa’s birthday today even though it was this past Thursday (August 23rd). Celebrating my grandpa’s birthday is going to be a good thing. Yes, a little difficult as it is his first birthday without my grandma but my dad, two uncles and I will do our best to make it a good one for him.

When I get home from spending time with my family, I plan on packing. Packing for a peer conference I will be volunteering at. The conference may not start till Tuesday but I need to be at the hotel tomorrow afternoon to help do last minute set up as I am volunteering for the conference. So I will be doing a lot of packing. Yes, I will be able to attend the sessions of the conference as I volunteer and that is the beauty of it. I just hope I don’t forget anything when I am packing for the conference.

Thank you for reading. Have a great Sunday. I hope to be able to blog again later today but I can’t make any promises. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Birthday Dinner With Grandpa

Good Evening, World!!! I just spent the last two hours with my grandpa as today is his 88th birthday. It was an extremely difficult birthday for him as it is his first birthday dinner since my grandma’s death on Valentines Day of this year. As difficult as it was for him and I both, he really enjoyed himself. As much as my grandpa wishes my grandma was still around to cook him his birthday dinner he appeared extremely grateful that I stepped up to the plate and made it for him. It was nice to have a meal with just my grandpa and myself.

Over dinner we discussed me going back to work and seeing if I was ready to go back to work. He agrees that I am ready to go back to work and he is proud of me that I am seeking out jobs in the field I love and finally getting interviews. Even when the interviews are far in between each other at least I am getting them. He might take me to my job interview on August 31st so I don’t have to take an hour bus ride each way. Of course if I get the job I will have to take the bus but  I am okay with that.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated. I hope you have a great rest of your Thursday. I am glad that my grandpa at a great birthday despite our grief over my grandma. Have a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Just a Bunch of Randomness

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today, I am having a mixture of emotions especially when it is in regards to my paternal grandparents. I am having a huge wave of grief that I am dealing with in regards to my paternal’s grandma’s death on Valentines day of this. Today’s wave a grief hit extra hard because this is the first birthday my paternal grandfather has had my grandma by his side in over seventy years even though they were married for sixty two and a half years. My grandpa is having a rough go at it so I invited him to my place to have a birthday dinner I will make. I don’t know if I can cook meatloaf as good as my grandma but that’s what he wants for his birthday or at least what he wants for his birthday from me.  As I grieve over my grandma even six and a half months later, I celebrate my grandpa’s 88th birthday today.

On the other hand let me update you on the pain of my migraine. I did go to the hospital last night and had a bunch of test run on me because they wanted to make sure that the infection in my mouth hasn’t spread even though I informed the doctors it felt like a regular migraine. They were just be overly cautious because it turns out it was a regular ole pain in the ass migraine. My mouth infection is looking a great deal better and its starting to feel better as well. I’m still in pain from the infection but at least the pain is subsiding.

Now on to the fire alarm system and smoke detector inspection that happens every three months that ended up being a month late this time around happened today. My cat, Lil Gertie, was not a fan of the inspection. Hell, neither was I but I am sure it was worse for her and her poor lil ears. She freaked out a little bit but not as bad as I thought it would have had on her.

On the note of my cat she is helping me deal with my depression and grief at the moment. She is sitting next to me on my favorite chair as I blog this particular post. Having her cuddle up next to me while purring sure helps with both the depression and grief I am dealing with. With my emotions they way they are today, I am grateful for my cat.

I don’t have much more to say at the moment. Thank you for reading me ramble on about a bunch of randomness. I appreciate each one of you. I hope you have a great Thursday. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite A Good Day, I’m Still A Lil Sad

Good Evening, again, World!!! I realize that I just posted about an hour ago about being an adult and doing adulting type of stuff then allowing myself to turn into a child. I’ve realized I needed that childhood part of today because I am really missing my grandma right now. She passed away a Valentines Day of this year (2018). My grandpa turns eighty eight on Thursday and my grandma died exactly one month after she turned eighty eight. I think he might not make it more than month past his 88th birthday.

His birthday is this Thursday and I plan on celebrating it with him because its going to be a sad day when it the first time you haven’t had you wife with you over sixty two years. My grandpa and acknowledged this and both cried over it. I really do miss my grandma. However I am sure it is more difficult for my grandfather right now.

I still had my summer fun with my grandpa but it was nice to acknowledge the grief that we still have for my grandma. I love you grandma and hope you are watching over us.

Thank you for reading this sad blog. Have a great rest of your Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

My Saturday

Good Evening, World!!! I have had a good day. I first had lunch with my family to celebrate my uncle’s birthday. He liked the card I made him as well as the picture I painted for him. He know where he is “going to put it.”

After lunch with my family I hung out with a friend from elementary school and junior high. I made her spaghetti as it is her favorite meal. It was nice to see her. We hang out every two months or so.

Now that my friend left, I am blogging about my day. I now plan on reading one of my new books. A Star Wars book. I am looking forward to reading it.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Day With Family & Friends

Good Morning, World!!! I am looking forward to today as I get to spend it with family. We are celebrating my uncle’s birthday. Spending time with family is always nice for the most part.

I am also looking forward to having dinner with a friend I went to elementary school and junior high with. We try to get together every two to three months. In fact I am making her spaghetti for dinner as it is her favorite meal.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!