Still Can’t F*cking Sleep

Good Morning from Seattle!!! I still have not be to sleep and it is fucking pissing me off. And I really don’t care if this post isn’t G rated. Part of me is wondering if I am unable to sleep because of depression but I am not having my typical signs of depression but it’s something to think about.

On the plus side of things, my family, friends and colleagues are worried about me. In fact they all have been checking in on me which makes me feel love and appreciated. I have some pretty awesome people in my life including my colleagues. My colleagues really seem to care about each other. Of course I know my friends and family love me and care about me.

And of course my precious kitty cat, Billie Dean loves me so very much. He has been following me around all day as well as cuddling with me. He is my baby and I don’t care what others think as Billie in part of my family. I am so glad that he picked me in the shelter. Being picked by any animal is a precious thing especially when it’s a cat or bird.

I best be going now as I am starting fall asleep as I write this blog. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom for my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

In Celebration of Betty White’s 100th Birthday

Happy Birthday, Betty White!!!! Your are to be celebrated today for many reasons. One of which is your love for animals and how you took care of them and loved them with all your heart. You deserve a spell space in heave for taking care of both animal and humans a like.i

I remember one time I met you my freshman year of high school and you took the time to talk with m for a half an hour and you encouraged me to never give up on my dreams despite my disabilities. I will always remember that. I will always remember looking on the pictures of m cat and dog telling how precisions hey were and they will love me unconditionally till the day the pass away. I know my animals love me know matter what and will never forget our conversation when I was a young freshmen in high school. Thank your for the wonderful memories.

Intro to Poetry; Day 4: Journey

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Life is meant to be a journey;

a journey that is meant to be full of

love and support.

Love and support many people

sadly don’t have.

Some don’t have the

love and support

due to mental health and/or addiction.

That’s where peers come

in;

to give hope

as well as love and support.

Peer Support is key to

ones journey to

recovery.

Second Day of Vacation

Happy Holidays, World!!! It 5:04am in the blessed morning here in Seattle. Billie Dean decided he needed to wake me up at 4:14am in the morning. He woke me up by howling which is unusual. Turns out he was constipated. Thankfully he was able to poop. Then he got his after pooping zoomies for what felt like an eternity. Then Billie decided he wanted to play so I obliged him and played with him. Now he is being extra cuddly so lets hope that I can get a few more hours of sleep so I am not a cranky bucket when I celebrate Christmas today with my dads side of the family. Despite Billie waking me up before the butt crack of dawn I am grateful for the love I have for him and am even more grateful for his unconditional love to me. Now, I am going back to be to see if I can get few more hours of sleep.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Holidays and Peace Out World!!!

Just a Bunch of Rambling

Good Evening, World!!! Happy Hanukkah to those who are Jewish and celebrating this miracle holiday. In all honesty I get the feeling this particular blog post will go in all sorts of different directions as I seem scatter brained today.

Surprisingly, as I type this particular blog I am listening Christmas music. I guess it’s the season to do so. At least it is bringing me joy as I type this blog. Listening to Christmas music brought me joy at work as well. No, Christmas music was not playing when I was in session with clients. I guess the Christmas music helped me be productive with work today or at least the note taking part of my job.

Speaking of work, I have some pretty awesome colleagues. My small group team, I am a member of is an amazing group of people. I adore all my colleagues especially the ones that are on my small team. I really do like my supervisor. She is awesome.

After my work shift ended I decided to continue to listen to Christmas music while doing art work. My cat, Billie Dean wanted to help. So, some of my artwork is quite a bit more unusual than normal. I really love my cat and his “helpfulness” with the art work.

My depression has been acting up which is why I’ve been making some art work while listening to Christmas music. I am planning on giving my art work away as gifts during this holiday season to my friends and family.

I am grateful for the friends and family I have in my life. They truly do love and care about me. Billie, my cat is now trying to help me type this particular blog post. I feel the love from my colleagues, friends, family and my cat Billie.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Happy Hanukkah to those of you who are celebrating it. Peace Out, World!!!

Being Angery in Grief While Doing Self Care

Good Evening, World!!! I am angry. I am angry that I am still grieving over my grandma almost four years ago as well as grieving the two year anniversary of my last cat, Lil Gertie tomorrow. Tomorrow (Thursday) is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I miss both my grandma and my last cat Lil Gertie. I know anger is part of grief but I wish it wasn’t part of grief.

I am missing my current cat, Billie Dean at the moment. Billie is spending about a week with my grandpa and uncles as I do some deep cleaning of my apartment. Deep cleaning with chemicals that could be damaging to both cats and humans. Anyway, I miss Billie very much and I love him so much and hopes he misses me.

On that note, I will be going to grandpa’s tomorrow which is Thanksgiving here in the United States. I get to spend it with my dad, grandpa, two uncles and of course my beloved cat, Billie. I’m really happy that I will be spending time with those who love me or try to love me to the best of their ability.

Since my emotions have been all over the place today especially in anger mode, I’ve been doing some self care. I’ve been listening to a podcast on philosophy and I am happy that I am being educated on the topic of philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” and I find it very educational. I love being educated on something I am no knowledgeable in.

While listening Philosophize This,” I have been doing some art work. Specifically, the type of artwork I am doing is coloring. Coloring and listening to a philosophy podcast has helped me deal with my emotions of today. I’m not so angry at the moment. I am still sad because I miss my last cat, Lil Brooke as well as my grandma, I know that they love me. I also know that doing art work and listening to a podcast on philosophy has be helpful to improve my emotions and lessen my anger. I still have people and my cat, Billie that love me.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog as if it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog I wouldn’t be writing my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you do read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader, I would not be writing my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Ramblings About Work, Thanksgiving, Family, Food, Love & Cats

Hello, World!!! It is almost ten o’clock at night on a Tuesday in my neck of the woods; known as Seattle. I love my job more than I could have ever imagined. My work really takes care of it’s employees. In fact my work is closing the agency at twelve noon which is early tomorrow (Wednesday) due to the Thanksgiving holiday on Thursday. My work is even closed Thursday which is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States as well as closed on Friday the day after Thanksgiving. I am so grateful for my work doing this for myself and my colleagues and we still get paid a full eight hours for tomorrow (Wednesday) and we only work for four hours tomorrow. On that note I am personally taking the Monday after Thanksgiving off to have a longer weekend.

Anyway, right now my cat, Billie Dean is at my grandpa’s and uncles house and has been since Sunday. The reason being is because I want to do a deeper clean than I normally do in my bathroom since that’s where Billie’s litter box is. I will do this after I get off work tomorrow at twelve noon. I really do miss Billie but I have been have video chats with Billie with the help of my grandpa and uncle. I love my cat Billie and can’t wait to see him on Thanksgiving Day.

I will be spending Thanksgiving Day with my family. Specifically, my grandpa, dad and two uncles on my dad’s side and let not forget my cat Billie will be there. We will be eating a lot of food on Thanksgiving like many Americans do on Thanksgiving. I am happy that I will be around loved ones on Thanksgiving Day eating way too much food.

I will also be doing something I have been doing on the daily basis and getting my form of education of philosophy by listening to a podcast on the topic. The philosophy podcast I am being educated on is Philosophize This.” I am making sure I listen to at least one episode a day till I get up to day on the most recent episode. I try to listen to two to three episodes but sometimes I don’t have enough time to do so.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog because if it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in morning in my corner of the world which is Seattle. I must have falling asleep early as I was listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I sadly have to go back to last podcast I l last remembered and I am okay with this. I never hurts to relearn things. My worry is being able to go back to sleep due to insomnia and falling asleep too early.

Since I most likely will not be able to go back to sleep, I have other plans. Plans to attend that is a twelve step program that focuses on how to change yourself and not change others. It also has a lot of recovery focused language in this particular twelve step program unlike other’s I have been attended. I am happy that I have decided to go back to this twelve step meetings as it helps me a great with my own recovery.

I just ordered Taco Bell from Grubhub. I’m surprised they let me order this late. I just hope I get the order for this food as I am hungry as hell. Last time I ate was lunch time which was over twelve hours ago. Anyway lets hope it gets here before the meeting I want to attend online starts.

Lets not forget about my cat, Billie Dean. He has been very sweet and loving since I got home from work today. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression really badly as of lately. Billie has be so much more cuddly than he normally is and I am appreciative of it. I love my cat, Billie so much and am beyond grateful that he is in my life. I know Billie the Kat loves me unconditionally and I soak up that unconditional love as much as I can.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post but I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

One of Them Days

Good Evening, World!!! It’s been one of those days where depression and anxiety are both acting up. It’s not a good time for either of them to act up when you work with clients who are in crisis mode. Any way, my supervisors have been very supportive of debriefing about these clients. I love the people I work with but some days are just more challenging than other days.

Anyway, after work I checked in with friends as my cat Billie Dean sat on my lap cuddling. Having my friends give me a reality check and the unconditional love of my cat, Billie has really helped me.

Another thing that has helped me is while my cat cuddled with me, I listened to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to “Philosophize This.” I am learning a great deal about philosophy and feel like I am getting a small education about philosophy.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my heart. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression, Anxiety & Love

Hello, World!!! It is exactly midnight in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. The weather in Seattle has been quite sucky the last week including right this moment.

The weather isn’t exactly helping my depression and my anxiety isn’t helping the depression as well. I can tell you that the unconditional love I am receiving from my cat Billie Dean. Billie is such a loving cat who loves to cuddle and that helps with both my anxiety and depression a great deal.

Another thing that is helping with the depression and anxiety is listening to a podcast about philosophy. A podcast that I am being educated on in philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I really feel like I am getting an education oh philosophy from this podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is great appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!