So Far So Good

Good Afternoon, World!!! It’s been a pretty chill day for me. I went grocery shopping for myself and my grandpa wanted to tag along. It was nice spending time with my grandpa while doing a chore I don’t really like doing; grocery shopping. My grandpa likes grocery shopping for some reason so whenever I go it’s when I spend time with him.

In all honesty if I didn’t need to go grocery shopping, I think I would have isolated today. Not sure why the depression is acting up to where I want to isolate a lot lately. Since I am aware that the depression is acting up to where isolation could become a problem, I know what I need to do. I need to use my DBT skills. Skill that have helped me a great deal.

Today is going to be one of many days that will be above eighty degrees Fahrenheit here in Seattle. Many locals start to melt at eighty degrees. I however start to melt at about ninety five degrees due to spending the majority of my childhood in Southern California. Days like today are the one reason why make an effort to go for walk. Going for walks on days like today help bring up the good parts of my childhood. Most of the good parts involve me being in California living with my dad and grandparents.

I think I am going to go so I can go for a walk. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

 

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Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Spend time with grandpa
  • Grocery shopping
  • Be lazy

Monday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Art Group
  • Vocational appointmen
  • Workbooks

Tuesday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Hearing voices group
  • Pick up meds
  • Workbooks

Wednesday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Workbooks
  • Be lazy

Thursday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Therapy
  • Workbooks

Friday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • DBT group
  • Workbooks

Saturday

  • Blog
  • Read
  • Hang out with friend
  • Volunteer

 

Feeling Meh Getting Slightly Better

Good Evening, World!!! I am still feeling a little meh however the feeling is slightly getting better. Having depression sucks shit but if I acknowledge the depression I know what to do to help myself through it. At least when it is in its milder form for me.

When I realized I was feeling depressed, I hung out with my family. We had waffles for a late breakfast. We also watch a baseball game on television. The team we were rooting for won.

When I got home I worked on my Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) homework. I also read ahead for the next group. DBT has helped through some really difficult times. Times where I could have given up but didn’t because I used my DBT skills.

After doing my DBT homework, I read. I read for about an hour. Reading helped me get out of my head. I read a Star Wars book that I am enjoying quite immensely.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Some Random Thoughts

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am trying to type and Lil Gertie is apparently the one wanting to post. I love having a cat that is so lovey dovey.  Having Lil Gertie as an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful for me. I think I would have ended up back in the Emergency Room for self harm thoughts if it weren’t for her. Yes, I know it’s a lot to put on a cat but she is doing her job. A job of preventing me from self harm and/or going in and out of the emergency room for thoughts of self harm. (Side Note: No I don’t feel like self harming at the moment nor am I suicidal.)

I have been scrap booking some of the day. I have even painted in one of my scrapbooks. I have found that putting together scrap books have a god send to me with helping the self harm urges. I say this as putting together scrap books helps me remember the good things in my life.

I talked with my grandpa today. He is on a trip and having a fun time. When he gets back from his trip, we will go out to eat as we normally do every week. I love spending time with my grandpa.

I don’t have much else to say. Have a wonderful evening. Peace out, world!!!

Sleepless in Seattle, Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment and it has nothing to do with my cat and every thing to deal with the symptoms of my mental health challenges. Dealing with a mental health condition is not my idea of fun yet I have learned a great deal from them. I have learned that acceptance of oneself is not easy however you can still have fun despite all the challenges the conditions bring.

For an example; painting can be fun. I love to paint. I am painting an abstract version of my cat for my grandpa per his request. My grandpa loves the idea that I am painting. He thinks it is a great way to express myself in a healthy and productive way.

Something else that being in recovery brings to me is faith. Or at least searching for a particular faith. Right now I have been reading books on Buddhism. It has given me some hope and peace that I have been looking for. Some people in my life may not like the idea that I am looking into Buddhism but they are grateful that I am searching for some type of faith even if it is not their faith.

I have been working on my strengths based recovery workbook. That part that I am working on is about attitudes. That attitudes that it is discussing at the moment is hope and courage. I am thrilled that I decided to get this workbook as I have been finding it quite helpful to me as well as to my recovery.

I find it amazing that being able to write in the middle of the night can come easy to me. Maybe it is because I am naturally a night owl or that I am more creative at night. Whatever the reason, I am glad that I can express myself in a healthy way. A way that my old therapist, Diana, would be proud of me.

Thank you for reading. Have a great morning and Peace Out, World!!!

Relapse Update

Good Evening, World!!! I had a good time with my family. As much as I love them, I am grateful to be back home. Back home with Lil Gertie.

To tell you the truth I think I was more grateful to be home on Thursday as I was in the hospital overnight due to a suicide attempt. An attempt that was triggered by PTSD symptoms. I informed a friend of mine who lives in my apartment building. He took me to the hospital and informed my family as well as Junior. My neighbor and Junior took care of Lil Gertie all day Wednesday and most of the day Thursday before I got the all clear to come home. Junior brought me home and I have had friends and family check up on me to make sure I’m okay.

I was more worried about Lil Gertie than me and realize that if I am feeling suicidal again that I will reach out to people who care. People who have care about me for a long time. I know of people who don’t have the support that I do when it comes to helping me when it comes to my mental health challenges. Recovery is all about getting back up on the horse and wiping yourself off when you fall.

The lesson I have learned is that I may not have someone to be available to take care of Lil Gertie. She is dependent on me to take care of her. I can not let my emotions get the better of me as I have Lil Gertie to help me with that as well as needing to take care of her.

Thank you for reading and I am not currently suicidal nor a risk to harm myself in any way. You are all awesome. Peace Out, World!!!

Spending Time With Family

Hello, World!!! Right now I am spending time with my grandpa and dad. Since I am spending time over at my grandpa’s I am doing my laundry. I am doing a load of laundry at my grandpa’s so I wouldn’t have to pay to do laundry in my apartment building.

I am missing Lil Gertie as I am away from her right now. She has been quite helpful for me and my anxiety. She is a little cuddle bug.

I just wanted to make sure I blogged today. I will try to blog later to inform you what has been going on the last few days. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!