Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Spend the day with my grandpa and dad as it is Father’s Day
  • Work on a workbook or two

Monday

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a workbook or two

Tuesday

  • Walk through Ravenna and Cowen Parks
  • Work on a workbook or two

Wednesday

  • Walk through Ravenna and Cowen Parks
  • Work on workbook or two

Thursday

  • Walk through Ravenna and Cowen Parks
  • Work on a work book or two

Friday

  • Do laundry
  • Clean apartment
  • Work on a workbook or two

Saturday

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

As you can tell this week will be a relatively uneventful week for me.

Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Six: Screen

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Too many people looking at their phone screens,

as they sit in the company of their friends and family.

I say put down those phones and spend time with those you love

 as whatever is on the screen of your phone can wait an hour or two.

You never know how much time you have with those you love.

The Communities I Call Family

Good Morning, World!!! As I sit here at work, I cannot help but think of how certain people become like family to you. I’ll use work as an example. When you work with people everyday, you become like family. For instance, the Saturday night shelter crew has each other’s backs when needed. We build one another up. I guess I say my colleagues are like family because we check up on each other even when we are off work.

My work colleagues aren’t the only family I have. Another family I have happens to be the community I have created while volunteering at PAWS. Specifically, PAWS Cat City and folks on my volunteer shift. That includes both employees and other volunteers. I guess my love for cats and other animals have helped me find more people to call family.

Besides my work and volunteer family, I will have to say my neighbors are family. As dysfunctional as we are in my apartment building we are a type of family. We may not always get along but when something happens we are there for each other; like families should be.

Then last but not least, my cat is family. Lil Gertie, the cat that crossed the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving Day of last year (2019) was and still is considered my family. She was there when people let me down. Hell, she is still with me. She is my guardian angel. I truly believe that Lil Gertie played a major role in the adoption of my current cat, Billie Dean. I say this because Lil Gertie had two crinkly ears and Billie has one crinkly ear. I also believe that both Lil Gertie and Billie chose me to be their family. Being chosen by an animal to be their furrever family is an honor. I am beyond grateful that I was Lil Gertie’s family for the last year and a half of her life. She will always have special place in my heart. I am also beyond grateful that Billie is my family. I am grateful to call my cat family.

As I end this particular blog post, I hope you all ponder about who or what you call family in this life. For me family is a melting pot of people (and animals) that come into my life in various ways like I mentioned in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you chose to read my blog even if this is the only post you ever read of my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome Sunday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

At Odds With Myself on How to Help Someone I Graduated High School With

Good Morning, World!!! I am still unable to sleep for some reason. Since I have know idea of why I can’t sleep, I am not going to fret about it. It is most likely, as my psychiatric nurse practitioner says, “treatment resistant insomnia.” Weather it is insomnia or poor sleep hygiene or being off kilter from my job working nights, I can’t sleep.

Since I have not been able to sleep, one of the things I have been doing is scrolling Facebook. As I was scrolling Facebook, someone I went to high school with messaged me privately. This person isn’t exactly a friend but is on my friends list.

Anyway, this friend was born into wealth and finds themselves at odds with their parents. Since they are at odds with their parents and has no job, they are now trying to figure out how to live the life they are use to. I guess their parents have “cut them off” from their trust fund until they are able to live on their own with the help of their parents for two years. My friend really hasn’t held down a job and their parents paid for everything including all their bills. We have been out of high school for twenty plus years and they have not learned how to fend for themselves. This “friend” reached out to me because they know I “know how to live poor” since have lived in poverty most of my life.

I asked my friend if they have a place to stay. My friend said they can stay at their parents place till the end of the year as long as they pay one hundred dollars month for rent and get a job to save up money to get their own place to live. I gave this friend suggestions on the types of jobs they may be able to get during this time and they turned down every suggestion. I also gave them numbers to certain agencies to be able to get food stamps and such. I even offered to go to the nearest DSHS office with them when they open up. My “friend” said “no, it will be an embarrassment if I go near my parents house especially with you.” I informed them out the system worked and that if they want help they need to learn how to deal with the “embarrassment.” This friend stated “I don’t need any freebies. I just need my parents to give me my trust fund money and then I won’t have to depend on the government like you do.” I got upset by this and informed them that as soon as they are ready for my help then don’t hesitate to reach out. I realized that this person just wanted someone to empathize with them and tell them what they want to hear. I have some empathy for this person but I am not going to tell them what they want to hear.

I am at odds with myself as if I should have even offered up my assistance to help this person when they realize what needs to be done to take care of themselves. I am at odds because I can see this as a possible toxic relationship and me carrying the weight of this person. I want to help but I don’t know if this person will ever realize they are responsible for themselves as they have been spoiled their entire lives and taken care of by their parents. I am feeling like I am being judgement of this person and their family and it has me feeling bad about myself. But then again, this person was extremely judgmental for me in high school due to me living in poverty. Anyway, that shouldn’t be the reason I am so judgmental of the person.

I have plenty more to say about the above topic but I am getting angry over the situation and need to stop for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you are reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has great Tuesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling So Much Better

Hello, World!!! I am feeling better that I was than my last two post. I spent time with family. Actually, I spent time with my grandpa and uncle as I did laundry at their place. It is always great to spend time with my family. I love my grandpa so much.

After spending time at my grandpa’s, I came home and spent time with my cat, Billie Dean. While spending time with Billie in my lap I read. I am reading a science fiction book. So far so good. I am only on the third chapter but I like thus far.

As I was reading one of my neighbors who has become a good friend asked me if I wanted to go to their place to play some card games. So, I went to her place and we played cards for a couple of hours. I had a great time. I really enjoy spending time with friends.

I do no have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have an awesome weekend ahead of you. Peace Out, World.

Still Gloomy but Hopeful

Good Afternoon, World!!! My depression is still acting up a little bit. Wish it wasn’t but it is something that I have dealt with for as long as I can remember. The gloomy weather isn’t helping much but it also makes me feel slightly better knowing the weather fits my mood.

Even though my mood is still low, I am hopeful. Even in my last post I was hopeful but now I am even more hopeful. I am at my grandpa’s spending time with him and doing my laundry. I am grateful for my family especially my grandpa. Not very many 40+ year olds still have a grandparent left which is why I am extremely grateful to have my grandpa in my life.

Another reason why I am feeling hopeful is that I have a job interview next week at a local mental health agency for a peer specialist position. The peer position is for supportive housing and thankfully I have experience working in supportive housing as well as a peer. I am hopeful that I could be on the short list but I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t get the job. The reason being is that the job is at the mental health agency I am a client of.  Yes, it is okay to be employed as a peer at the agency where you are a client at just as long as you don’t work for the program you are a client of. In fact my employment specialist made sure it was okay before I applied. Again, I am hopeful that I will be on the short list but realistically know that they most likely won’t hire a client and I am okay with that. At least I will have the experience of an interview.

Anyway after I am done writing this post, I am going to start reading a book. Not sure which one as I brought two to choose from. Both of which are science fiction books. I really enjoy science fiction and fantasy genres. I really enjoy reading. I will let you know what book I am reading and hope to let you know what I think of it after I am finished with the book.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. In fact I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

A Little Gloomy

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am feeling really lonely and my depression symptoms are starting to increase. I am positive that my increased loneliness and depressive symptoms have to deal with the stay at home order. Not being able to do the things I normally do is starting to get to me. I know I will be able to do things again, sooner or later but I just want the human connection.

In fact I will be getting some human connection in a couple of hours. I will be going to a family members house to hang out. In fact I will be going to my grandpa’s place. I will be doing laundry when I am there but am grateful to be able to spend time with him. I am hoping it will be helpful for both my grandpa and myself.

As I am writing this post, my cat, Billie Dean, is wanting some cuddle time. Much needed cuddle time for the both of us. I love the fact he is such a cuddle bug. Having Billie during the pandemic has been quite helpful for me. Having a pet around is great no matter when but right now during Covid-19, I am that much more grateful to have a pet. I love my cat so much.

I’m looking out my window and realize the weather here in Seattle is gloomy once again. I don’t mind the gloomy weather especially right now as it seems to be fitting of my current mood. Seattle is a great place to live even in the gloomy weather.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. Peace out, World!!!

A Random Post About…..

Hello, World!!! Governor Inslee decided to extend the stay at home order till May 31st. I have mixed emotions regarding the extended stay at home order but ultimately I am grateful that Governor Inslee is looking out for the most vulnerable people here are our lovely state of Washington.  Washington has be home for me since the mid 90’s and that doesn’t count whenever I visited my mom and brother every summer and holiday whiled on vacation from school. Looks like I have digressed some. Washington in my home and am grateful that Governor Inslee extended the stay at home order.

I can bitch and complain about the stay at home order all I want but it won’t do anything because it’s keeping it helps people like my dad who doesn’t have a great immune system. It even helps my extremely healthy 89 year old grandpa with staying at home. I am not able to see my family and most of my friend in person due to the fact that I am an essential worker. As much as I miss visiting friends and family, I am grateful for my essential worker status as it means I have a job I can work at.

A job that feels like family and am making some pretty good friends who are taking on the parent role but I am okay with that. At least I am okay with it for the time being. We are in the middle of a pandemic and somethings are worth the fight or at least at the moment. It is nice to have a work family who understands whats going on.

Since were are on the topic of family and friends, I miss the ones I volunteer with at PAWS Cat City. I miss going in helping find cat their furrever home but sadly Cat City is temporarily closed till this all over. Yes, the cats at Cat City went to the PAWS in Lynnwood and are being adopted out there along with dogs. I really miss volunteering at Cat City consider the people I volunteer with like family to me just like my colleagues do when I am at my paid work.

Speaking of cats my cat Billie Dean also fondly called Billie the Kat, is wanting be have help with writing this blog. I have some pictures of painting of wood that is protecting window of closed businesses here in Seattle. I hope to post those soon. By soon I mean Sunday night or Monday morning.

I was planning on writing more about how people are dealing with all this in regards to their mental health and recovery but right now my cat wants attention so I will write about that on Saturday night at work if I have time to do so.  I love my cat so much.

Sorry, I ending this post sooner that I had planned but thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Stay home and save lives by doing so. Peace Out, World!!!!

A Valentines Day of Grief

Happy Valentines Day, World!!! I have never been a big fan of Valentines Day because, why do you need a selected day to say “I love you.” Plus it adds added pressure to relationships to make sure the day is special which isn’t the best thing for relationships.

Despite the usual reason, I am not a big fan of Valentines Day is that my grandma died on Valentines Day of 2018. So, today marks the two year anniversary of my grandma’s death. She died due to complications from Parkinson’s Disease. My grandma fought hard for her life as well for those she loved especially her family. I miss my grandma so much but I know she is looking down on me as my guardian angel.

Billie Dean my new cat is helping me through today by just being himself. He is being the lovable, cuddly, talkative and playful self he is to be. I am so grateful that he chose me when he did. I love my Billie Dean.

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday and Valentines Day. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

SUNDAY

  • Take nap when I get home from work. (Yes, I am still at work)
  • Do some art
  • Have dinner with friends
  • Work on workbooks

MONDAY

  • Go to DSHS to sort out the food stamp situation. (That’s if it doesn’t snow)
  • Do some art
  • Lunch with a friend who lives in my building
  • Get meds
  • Work on workbooks

TUESDAY

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City. (Looking forward to having some kitty time.)
  • Attend work meeting in the evening. (Hoping for snow so I can use it as an excuse to not attend.)
  • Work on workbooks

WEDNESDAY

  • Sleep in
  • Lunch with my grandpa. (I love spending time with my grandpa.)
  • Do some artwork.
  • Work on workbooks
  • Clean apartment

Thursday

  • See therapist
  • Attend DBT Group. (Hopefully it doesn’t get cancelled for any reason.)
  • Work on workbooks
  • Do some art work.

FRIDAY

  • Do some art work
  • Work on Workbooks
  • Clean apartment
  • Visit with my grandpa

SATURDAY

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night