Relapse Update

Good Evening, World!!! I had a good time with my family. As much as I love them, I am grateful to be back home. Back home with Lil Gertie.

To tell you the truth I think I was more grateful to be home on Thursday as I was in the hospital overnight due to a suicide attempt. An attempt that was triggered by PTSD symptoms. I informed a friend of mine who lives in my apartment building. He took me to the hospital and informed my family as well as Junior. My neighbor and Junior took care of Lil Gertie all day Wednesday and most of the day Thursday before I got the all clear to come home. Junior brought me home and I have had friends and family check up on me to make sure I’m okay.

I was more worried about Lil Gertie than me and realize that if I am feeling suicidal again that I will reach out to people who care. People who have care about me for a long time. I know of people who don’t have the support that I do when it comes to helping me when it comes to my mental health challenges. Recovery is all about getting back up on the horse and wiping yourself off when you fall.

The lesson I have learned is that I may not have someone to be available to take care of Lil Gertie. She is dependent on me to take care of her. I can not let my emotions get the better of me as I have Lil Gertie to help me with that as well as needing to take care of her.

Thank you for reading and I am not currently suicidal nor a risk to harm myself in any way. You are all awesome. Peace Out, World!!!

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Spending Time With Family

Hello, World!!! Right now I am spending time with my grandpa and dad. Since I am spending time over at my grandpa’s I am doing my laundry. I am doing a load of laundry at my grandpa’s so I wouldn’t have to pay to do laundry in my apartment building.

I am missing Lil Gertie as I am away from her right now. She has been quite helpful for me and my anxiety. She is a little cuddle bug.

I just wanted to make sure I blogged today. I will try to blog later to inform you what has been going on the last few days. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Late Afternoon Ramblings

Good Afternoon, World!!! I just got off the phone with my grandpa. He thinks I should start writing short stories and poems more often. He thinks I should create a book of short stories and poems I have written. I have given it a great deal of thought but I don’t know if it would be a good idea to do so. I appreciate that my grandpa thinks it would be a good idea to write a book.

I talked with my therapist supervisor today to discuss what I have planned for the weekend. She is going to relay what I told her to my therapist on Monday so when I talk with him he will know what the plan for the weekend is.

One of the things I plan on doing this weekend is attending the street fair in my neighborhood. It is a yearly event that I attend ever year for the last seventeen years. I have gone every year since I have moved to my neighborhood; rain, shine or somewhere in between. I am looking forward to the fair food. I love the food at fairs. This fair is more of an arts and crafts fair. It has no rides. I love the food. I am a self proclaimed fair foodie if there is such a thing in this world.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World

Sunday Night Random Thoughts

Hello, World!!! I am sitting here at my laptop on what I am going to be posting about. Usually, I have some idea but not so much at the moment. I just hope I don’t offend anyone with whatever come out of my head through my hands onto the post. It is my hope that I don’t say anything offensive.

As many of you know today was the first Mother’s Day without my grandma being around. I painted a picture of what is suppose to look like a yellow rose. My grandma’s favorite flower was the yellow rose. My painting didn’t come out as desired but hey it’s that healing part of creating that was helpful to me.

I also read a book called Why Buddhism is True. I am looking into Buddhism to see if it is the right faith for me especially in regards to my recovery. One of the key principles to recovery is faith even if you consider yourself an atheist it counts. I also read some Buddhist Scriptures as well which gave me some peace.

Thank you for reading. You all are quite awesome or reading my blog. Have a good night. Peace Out, World!!!

Pushing Through the Grief

Hello, World!!! I am doing slightly better than I was in my last post. I went for a walk which helped a great deal. I also read the news paper and had tea. I did this to honor my grandma and have been doing this since before she passed away but today was to honor her.

I also did some painting. I am painting a yellow rose to honor my grandma. My Grandma’s favorite flower was the yellow rose. Painting the yellow rose helps me heal and is a way to honor my grandma.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Hello, World!!! As many of you know my family celebrated Mother’s Day today to honor my grandma. It was difficult for all of us as this is the first Mother’s Day without my grandma since she passed away.

As I told you earlier this week, I went to the Social Security office to discuss why I wasn’t getting any money. To find out I was suppose to be getting some money but they “forgot” to give it to me. Thankfully, my provisional checks were reinstated as I wait for Social Security  to make a decision.

I also made the decision to officially look into Buddhism. I have found that folks who consider themselves Buddhist to be at peace with themselves. Plus, I feel like it can help me with my recovery.

Thanks for reading. Have a goodnight. Peace Out, World!!!

My Day So Far

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am back from spending a few hours with my family to honor my grandma. We had my grandma’s favorite meal of ham, mashed potato’s and peas. My grandpa said a prayer and started to cry which got me to cry. A cry that I needed. I am having a difficult time with dealing with grief of any kind especially over the death of my grandma.

I am now listening to NPR podcast on about Ted Radio Hour which is based on TedTalks. The topic of the podcast is collaboration. I am liking the talk of collaboration because it can mean different things to different people.

After the podcast is over I plan on reading a book on Buddhism called Why Buddhism Is True. I am wanting to learn about Buddhism. I also got a book called Buddhist Scriptures. I am wanting to better myself and hope that Buddhism helps me on my recovery journey.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful weekend and Peace Out, World!!!