Sad News About My Cat

Hello, World!!! I realize I haven’t blogged in a while. A great deal has happened since I last blogged. Mostly, I have been attending appointments and doing things for work. Nothing really major except when in comes to my cat, Lil Gertie.

Long story short I noticed a lump on my cats, Lil Gertie side. I took her to the vet and they did a test. It turns out that the test says she has cancer. Sadly, the test shows that Lil Gertie’s cancer is the type of cancer that if the lump is removed then it will most certainly grow back. The vet informed me that there is a slim chance the cancer could be another type of cancer but it is unlikely. She suggested I get a biopsy done on Lil Gertie to see how to proceed with treatment. If the results of biopsy confirm what the test say they type of cancer Lil Gertie has then treatment will be more the quality of life than trying to keeping her alive. The vet thinks Lil Gertie has six to twelve months before needing to put her down.  The vet is amazed that Lil Gertie is “doing so well” because she isn’t acting like she is sick. Lil Gertie, my cat, is acting like her usual self. She is eating, drinking, peeing and pooping normally which is a good sign for both me at the vet. Lil Gertie will have the biopsy in little over a week. I will keep you updated.

The good thing in all this is not only is Lil Gertie acting like her usual self and seeming like she has cancer but I have some major support from my friends. Friends who are amazing and loving. Friends making sure I do some good self care.

The self care I am doing is checking in with friends. I am also burning incense to help me out. I am reading, doing art, spending time with others and going about my normal everyday routine. Most importantly, the best self care is spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as I know my time is more limited than I thought and hoped it would be. I love my cat, Lil Gertie. I know Lil Gertie loves me unconditionally.

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A face only a parent could love. This is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love her facial expressions.

The above picture is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love the many facial expressions she has especially in the above picture. I am planning on printing out the picture above and framing it put it on my wall in my apartment.

I do not have much more to say as I am now in tears again. At least I know Lil Gertie is not suffering at the moment as she is acting like her normal self. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

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A Wednesday Evening Post

Good Evening, World!!! I am still dealing with increased Depression and PTSD symptoms and have emailed my therapist regarding it. I emailed my therapist regarding the increased symptoms just to have him be aware of the situation even though I personally think the increased mental health symptoms are due to the health issues I am dealing with. The health issues I am dealing with happen to be a “severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and mild right Kidney Infection.” It is not uncommon for me to have an increase mental health symptoms whenever I have an UTI which just makes things the much more uncomfortable. My therapist emailed me back about the email sent him about me struggling and he too “hope symptoms improves” as my infections improve. I am grateful that I have a therapist that is supportive.

I just got back from Red Robin with a friend who lives in my apartment building. I treated my friend to Red Robin as a thank you for putting up with my shit. My friend is an awesome individual and extremely caring. She was and is very appreciative of me taking her to Red Robin. We ended up having the same thing at Red Robin which was The Whiskey Barbecue Burger with bottomless fries. She had an ice tea to drink while I had a freckled lemonade which is strawberry lemonade. It was nice to spend time with a good friend at my favorite restaurant.

When I arrived home from dinner at Red Robin with my friend, I noticed that the three books I ordered from Amazon arrived. Thankfully, they left them outside my apartment door instead of outside the apartment building door. The three books I ordered are about race as I want to be a better ally to people of color. I also order two more books from Amazon about race. One of which should arrive tomorrow and the other book is on back order and should arrive at the end of September. I am going to start off reading the book “How To Be An AntiRacist” by Ibram X. Kendi. I will let you know how the book is and will do a book review on it. Reading is one of my go to things to help my mental health symptoms and anytime I can be educated on anything is a plus. I really hope I can get a better understanding about race as I want to be the best ally I can be. If anyone has any books about race to suggest, it would be greatly appreciated. Remember, I have three that arrived today including the one I mention, two on the way from Amazon and one in my Amazon cart. So, if you suggest a book that I may have or will have don’t take offence if I say something that “I have it” or “its on the way” or “its in the cart.” I look forward to all the good reads.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good rest of your evening as well as your week. Peace Out, World!!!

Anxiety & Fear Over My Dad

Good Evening, World!!! I am not going to work tonight because my dad is in the hospital. Sadly, he was moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), early this morning because he has fluid on the lungs and maybe around the heart. Even though the emergency surgery went well, the fluid around the lungs is never a good thing especially with my dads history of pneumonia. It was five years ago at this time of year where he was give a very slim chance of living due to his pneumonia but thankfully he is a live. I just wish his health was better at the moment. At least he is not on life support and wanting to go home.

Even though I am not sitting at the hospital with my dad at the moment, I just wanted to make sure that if health were to take the turn for the worst that I am able to have the availability to get to the hospital. That is part of the reason why I chose to get someone to cover my shift at work tonight. I am grateful that I was able to have a colleague cover my shift.

Due to my dad’s health and him being in the ICU my anxiety is up and my fear of him being put a ventilator is extremely high at the moment. The fear and anxiety I am having, my cat, Lil Gertie, is picking up on. When I have been home she as been by my side or on my chest to comfort me.  Being comforted by my cat has been a great help to me and has lessened my anxiety and fear.

Not only is my cat, Lil Gertie, comforting me but I am having friends checking in on me. Having friends checking in on me is always a good thing. In fact a friend of mine even brought me lunch when I was at the hospital visiting my dad. It is great that I have friends that check up on me.

My family has be pulling together in regards to my dad’s health. My grandpa and two uncles who are my dad’s dad and two brothers have been taking turns at the hospital. My grandpa and two uncles have been a great support. They are just as worried about my dad as I am. Having family support and the support of my friends has been great for me.

I wish I was able to get some sleep today but sadly I have not been able to nap. I didn’t sleep well last night due to insomnia and I think I have been unable to nap today due to my dad’s health and him being in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at the hospital. I think I am going to go to bed early tonight as I need some sleep. Sleep is crucial to one health and I don’t want to get sick especially since my dad is ill.

I do not much more to say. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Friday Morning Post

Good Morning, World!!! I hope everyone is having a good Friday. My cat woke me up this morning my gently nudging my arm with her head. I knew that she wanted both attention and food with the gentle nudges. So, I of course gave her both. Lil Gertie was appreciative of both. Right now she is laying on my chest as I am writing this post on my laptop. Yes it is slightly challenging but I am grateful for Lil Gertie laying on my chest as it is helping me focus on my breath which is helping my anxiety.

I want to update you on my dad. He is doing as well as expected after having emergency surgery on Wednesday afternoon. He sadly is still in pain which is to be expected but I wish he wasn’t in pain. On a good note in regards to my dad is that he is using his sense of humor. My dad using his sense of humor is a good thing because it means he is doing better.

My friends and fellow peer counselors/specialist having been checking up on how I have been doing since I had to leave the peer conference early due to the fact my dad had emergency surgery. Having awesome friends checking up on how both myself and dad are doing is a great feeling. Knowing that I have friends checking up on me is just another reminder that people do care about me. I am grateful for my friends and that they check up on me.

Now lets discuss work. I am taking Saturday off because I wasn’t sure how serious the situation with my dad was going to be so I was able to get someone to cover my shift. I am grateful that I have amazing colleagues willing to step up to the plate when a family emergency arises.

Since I am now on the topic of work, I want to share with you something that I think is cool that happened at the peer conferences. On Tuesday, shortly after finding out about my dad, I was sitting in the hospitality room as part of my volunteer duties and starting talking with another peer. A peer who works for an agency I applied for a job at. To find out this peer advocated for this position and has been able to look at the resumes while her boss was out of the office on a honeymoon. This peer informed me that she is not apart of the interview or hiring process but will able to put some input in, in regards to the resumes she discusses with her supervisor. The cool thing about this is that this peer looked at my name tag and said she remembers seeing my resume and was “impressed” with it. She also said if it were up to her, that I would be on the “short list.” The best part about attending peer conferences or any other type of conferences in the mental health field is the networking. I am grateful that I was able to network with a lot of peers during this conference but I want to thank the universe for the interaction I had with the peer I just told you about because, there is a chance that I could at least get an interview. I hope to inform you more about what the job is all about in a later post but I think it will be a good fit for me. Especially since it is a part time position and that it involves working a drop in center which I have experience in. I think this could help my career if I get the job. This is one of the many reasons I love going to conferences is because of the networking.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend and for those who live in the United States I hope you have a great three day weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Conference & An Emergency

Hello, World!!! This week has been quite a week. Parts of it emotional as an unexpected family emergency happened which I will tell you about later in the post. I started this week traveling from Seattle to Tacoma for a peer conference. Tacoma is about thirty miles south of Seattle. I took the Amtrak train as I love taking the train because it is really relaxing for me. It beats taking public transportation. One of my favorite parts of traveling by train happens to be the views I am able to see. I did take a picture of something that I normally don’t have time to take due to the speed of the trains but I was able to take a picture of another train. The train is pictured below:

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A picture of a BNSF train. Thankfully, both the train I was on and the BNSF train were going slow enough to capture the picture.

Anyway, when I arrived to the hotel for the peer conference I wasn’t expecting it to be as big as it was. It is a twenty six story hotel with a lot of amenities but sadly they did not have a swimming pool. As disappointed as I was that there was not a swimming pool, the view from my room on the twentieth floor was awesome. I had a view of Mount Rainier. Below is a picture of the view I had of Mount Rainier as well as the Tacoma Dome:

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View from my hotel room. Mount Rainier as the Tacoma Dome.

The peer conference was great and loved the fact the I was with about five hundred other people in recovery with a mental health challenge and/or a Substance Use Disorder (SUD). The workshops I attended were awesome and the best part about being at the conference was being able to volunteer and be of service to fellow peer counselors.

Sadly, during the morning keynote speaker on the second and final day, I received a call from my grandpa telling me that my dad was going to have emergency surgery later that day. My grandpa and I discussed that staying at the conference was the best thing for me to do since the surgery wasn’t going to be till four in the afternoon and that I would have plenty of support from my friends at the conference as sitting around the hospital wouldn’t be helpful for me. I went to a couple of friends to let them know what was going on and they agreed with my decision with staying at the conference for a few more hours because even though my dad was having emergency surgery it was scheduled for later in the day which was a good sign. My friends and I discussed that staying at the conference was a good idea but we all agreed that leaving at an earlier time would also be a good idea. So, I was able to arrange for someone to take over my volunteer duties and leave to take the three in the afternoon train instead of a train after the conference was over. I am grateful that I took the three o’clock train as my uncle picked me up and I dropped off my luggage at home and then went to the hospital.

As I waited at the hospital while my dad was getting surgery a lot of my fellow peer who are friends checked in with me via text or phone call. Having the support of friends and my family as my dad was getting surgery made me feel blessed. I am grateful for friends who have been checking up on me during my dads surgery as well as after his surgery. My dad did well during the surgery and is now in the ICU. He is doing well even though he is in the ICU. He has his sense of humor which is a great thing. I am glad my dad is doing better. I am beyond grateful to have friends in recovery checking in on me to see how I am doing and I am doing pretty good considering my dad had surgery.

I don’t have much more to say except thank you to my fellow peers for being there. I also want to thank you my reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope to tell you more about the conference and my dad in a later post. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Get off work at 8:30 in the morning.
  • Get home from work and play with my cat, Lil Gertie.
  • Mindfulness
  • Take a nap.
  • Go to lunch with friends.
  • Do homework for writing class, DBT group and my therapist.
  • Workbooks
  • Color

Monday

  • Mindfulness
  • Go to the Department of Social and Human Services (DSHS).
  • Workbook
  • Do homework for therapy, DBT group and writing class
  • Color

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbooks
  • Attend appointment with my therapist
  • Attend appointment with employment specialist
  • Work on homework for writing class and DBT group.
  • Color

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Writing class
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Color
  • Homework for DBT Group and writing class. (We always have homework in DBT and was told we will have homework in writing class as well.)

Thursday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Color
  • DBT Group
  • Homework for DBT group and writing class

Friday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Homework for DBT group and writing class
  • Self care day type of day

Saturday

  • Sleep all day, during “normal” waking hours due to working nights.
  • Mindfulness
  • Work

SIDE NOTE: The writing class has nothing to do with groups through the mental health agency I am a client of. It is part of a program that allow people who are low income to experience different forms of art for free. The non profit is called Path With Art and is available to people who are low income living in Seattle and I think other parts of King County.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 5: Hook ‘Em With a Quote

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I live through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ -Eleanor Roosevelt-

A couple of days ago my friend and I were discussing our favorite quotes and we started talking about how Eleanor Roosevelt had some pretty awesome quote. I shared with my friend one of my favorite and why and my friend did the same. The above quote happens to my friends favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quote right now as they are just climbing out of some difficult shit. I really like the quote because I can relate to it in many aspects of my life. One of which is due to the trauma I experienced as a child. Another is that as someone who experiences mental health challenges I face many fears people without mental health challenges don’t face and I face them head on. That means for me that this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt is a recovery based quote or at least that is how I see it.

I don’t have much more to say but I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!