Photography: Developing Your Eye I; Day Eight: Treasure

Good Morning, World!!! Today’s assignment for the photograph course I am taking through WordPress is “treasure.” Treasure means something different to everyone. For me most of, if not all of my treasure is of sentimental value to me. The picture I chose was one I had already shared with you all few years ago. It is of my teddy bear. A teddy bear that I have had since the day of my birth. My teddy bear is 41 years old just like I am. My teddy bear’s name is Ted or Teddy and has been my constant friend and support throughout my life. In fact he has been the one I have turned to when things have gotten tough. When my last cat, Lil Gertie crossed over the rainbow bridge, I turned to my constant friend, my teddy bear, Ted, and cried. Yes, I know he looks like a rat but he has seen better days. I love my teddy bear and plan on having him till the day I die and hopefully that isn’t for a very long time.

My teddy bear I have had since birth. He is 41 years old. I know he looks like a rat but he has seen better days.

Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Six: Screen

Untitled Poem

by Gertie

Too many people looking at their phone screens,

as they sit in the company of their friends and family.

I say put down those phones and spend time with those you love

 as whatever is on the screen of your phone can wait an hour or two.

You never know how much time you have with those you love.

A Challenging Week With a Good Ending

Good Morning, World!!! It is the middle of the night on a Friday night, Saturday morning and like every week I am staying up all night. I am staying up all night to sleep all day due to working a twelve plus hour night shift on Saturday nights.

It’s been a rough week for me. Tuesday night a neighbor of mine grabbed me in the vagina as I was passing him in the hallway to get to my apartment and I ended up with an injured wrist in the process of trying to get away. I went to the emergency room to get my wrist x-rayed. Thankfully it is broken. When I got home I called the Seattle Police Department and waited for the police to show up. Sadly, after four hours of waiting I fell asleep and they called. I didn’t get to the phone in time but they did leave a voicemail saying I would need to do the report online. Fuck the cops. If I wanted to do the report online I would have done it. I wanted to do an in person report due to the fact I wanted the cops to see how badly bruised my wrist was due to trying to flee from the situation.

Anyway the social worker at the hospital called my therapist and left him a message about what happened. My therapist emailed me asking if I wanted to check-in with him and gave me times he was available. Anyway I checked-in with him and we discussed ways to keep myself safe as well as why I decided to not file a police report online. It was only a half an hour check-in but I will be having a phone session with him next week and will discuss reporting it to the police.

As I mentioned my therapist and I discussed ways to keep myself safe as well to continue to live life and not isolate. So, I decided to go with a good friend of mine to the silent protest here in Seattle. I am beyond grateful that I attended with my friend. The cool thing about it is we were introduced to the Seattle Police Chief by my friends boss. The police chief actually participated in the silent protest. I may not be a big fan of the police but I am grateful that Seattle’s Police Chief actually appears to care about her community and the people she serves. Anyway, my friend brought me home and I made him dinner to go. He was grateful for the dinner.

I am beyond grateful that I attended the silent protest as I was able to stand with my friend and support him as well as contribute to such a worthy movement. As grateful as I am that I went, I am grateful that my cat has be helpful to me in regards to what happened to me. My cat, Billie is such a blessing to me and has helped me stay stable during this challenging time.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has an awesome Saturday. Most importantly I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Writing: Intro to Poetry; Day Three: Friends

Four Legged Furr Friend w/a Twitchy Tail

by Gertie

Billie, oh how

I love the fact that you are a

Love bug and a

Lap cat.

I love how you look at me with those big green

Eyes.

Don’t ever loose your

Enthusiasm for greeting me

At the door, as I know you love to

Nuzzle me because you missed me and know that I missed you. Please, know that I will love you to the very end.

Using My Privilege to Help Change

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am one fucking angry white person. I am angry because it appears me that the only time white people want to discuss anything about race is when something happens like in the case of George Floyd.  I think white people need to talk about the racism in our country everyday and need to figure out how to stop this hatred. It is up to white people to stop the systemic problems that people of color face on the daily basis. We need to have serious discussions on how we as white people can stop racism. It is up to white people to be ally’s to people of color and help them have their voice heard. It is up to us because the assholes in charge aren’t fucking listening.

As I end this post, I hope that white people will discuss how to stop racism. It is up to white people to end racism and NOT people of color to do so. In the coming weeks I have decided to have conversations with my white friends. I realize I could loose friends over such conversations and am willing to do so. I may not want to loose friends but am willing to do so, so I can at least be part of the solution and not the problem.

At Odds With Myself on How to Help Someone I Graduated High School With

Good Morning, World!!! I am still unable to sleep for some reason. Since I have know idea of why I can’t sleep, I am not going to fret about it. It is most likely, as my psychiatric nurse practitioner says, “treatment resistant insomnia.” Weather it is insomnia or poor sleep hygiene or being off kilter from my job working nights, I can’t sleep.

Since I have not been able to sleep, one of the things I have been doing is scrolling Facebook. As I was scrolling Facebook, someone I went to high school with messaged me privately. This person isn’t exactly a friend but is on my friends list.

Anyway, this friend was born into wealth and finds themselves at odds with their parents. Since they are at odds with their parents and has no job, they are now trying to figure out how to live the life they are use to. I guess their parents have “cut them off” from their trust fund until they are able to live on their own with the help of their parents for two years. My friend really hasn’t held down a job and their parents paid for everything including all their bills. We have been out of high school for twenty plus years and they have not learned how to fend for themselves. This “friend” reached out to me because they know I “know how to live poor” since have lived in poverty most of my life.

I asked my friend if they have a place to stay. My friend said they can stay at their parents place till the end of the year as long as they pay one hundred dollars month for rent and get a job to save up money to get their own place to live. I gave this friend suggestions on the types of jobs they may be able to get during this time and they turned down every suggestion. I also gave them numbers to certain agencies to be able to get food stamps and such. I even offered to go to the nearest DSHS office with them when they open up. My “friend” said “no, it will be an embarrassment if I go near my parents house especially with you.” I informed them out the system worked and that if they want help they need to learn how to deal with the “embarrassment.” This friend stated “I don’t need any freebies. I just need my parents to give me my trust fund money and then I won’t have to depend on the government like you do.” I got upset by this and informed them that as soon as they are ready for my help then don’t hesitate to reach out. I realized that this person just wanted someone to empathize with them and tell them what they want to hear. I have some empathy for this person but I am not going to tell them what they want to hear.

I am at odds with myself as if I should have even offered up my assistance to help this person when they realize what needs to be done to take care of themselves. I am at odds because I can see this as a possible toxic relationship and me carrying the weight of this person. I want to help but I don’t know if this person will ever realize they are responsible for themselves as they have been spoiled their entire lives and taken care of by their parents. I am feeling like I am being judgement of this person and their family and it has me feeling bad about myself. But then again, this person was extremely judgmental for me in high school due to me living in poverty. Anyway, that shouldn’t be the reason I am so judgmental of the person.

I have plenty more to say about the above topic but I am getting angry over the situation and need to stop for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you are reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has great Tuesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

The Words of A Child

Good Evening, World!!! So far today has been a quiet stay at home day. It has been a day that I have not done much but binge watch television with my cat, Billie Dean on my lap. The Seattle weather has been quite helpful in that as it has been the typical Seattle gloom.

I have spent most of the day with my cat Billie Dean in my lap. Billie sat in my lap as I watched The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I really enjoy this show for several reasons and am thrilled that Billie spent most of that time in lap as I watched it.

After watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross as Billie was curled up in my lap I decided to get on social media. Specifically, I went on Facebook as it is the the only social media account I have under my given name. (I do have a Facebook account as well as a Twitter account under my pen name of Gertie. You can find me under Gerties Journey on both social media accounts.) Anyway, when I was on Facebook under my given name, a friend of mine in the peer counseling community posted a quote from one of her children came up of a quote that I feel is great. My friends, child’s name is Avenlea Margaret. (Yes, I was given permission to mention my friends daughter’s name on here by both my friend and their daughter.) Avenlea Margaret is a creative person which doesn’t surprise me that she came up with the quote she did.

Avenlea Margaret’s quote is: “There’s no such thing as ugly. There’s just different ways to be beautiful.” I personally love this quote as it is an honest quote that comes from the mouth of an innocent child. A child that sees there are different ways to be beautiful and different ways to see beauty. Avenlea Margaret is wise beyond her years and hope to read more quotes she says on her parents Facebook account. It is my hope with posting this that you are able to see that there is only beauty in this world and it just looks differently just like Avenlea stated.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of you Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Feeling So Much Better

Hello, World!!! I am feeling better that I was than my last two post. I spent time with family. Actually, I spent time with my grandpa and uncle as I did laundry at their place. It is always great to spend time with my family. I love my grandpa so much.

After spending time at my grandpa’s, I came home and spent time with my cat, Billie Dean. While spending time with Billie in my lap I read. I am reading a science fiction book. So far so good. I am only on the third chapter but I like thus far.

As I was reading one of my neighbors who has become a good friend asked me if I wanted to go to their place to play some card games. So, I went to her place and we played cards for a couple of hours. I had a great time. I really enjoy spending time with friends.

I do no have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have an awesome weekend ahead of you. Peace Out, World.

Just Another Random Post

Good Evening, World!!! I am sad right now and dealing with some grief which explains why I am feeling a bit on the gloomy side. Today marks the two year anniversary of me adopting my last cat, Lil Brooke. I miss her dearly and wish she didn’t cross over the rainbow bridge on Thanksgiving Day of last year (2019) as she was only with me for a year and a half. I would have loved to have more time with Lil Brooke but I am extremely grateful for the time I did have with her. I am also grateful that she had a furrever home for the last year and half of her life. She will always have very special place in my heart.

As sad as I am with missing Lil Brooke I am grateful for today. I had a therapy session with my therapist on the phone earlier. My therapy session went well. We discussed a number of things that needed to be discussed. I am grateful to be able to still have a session with my therapist even if it is on the phone for now.

Anyway, I am going to go to a friends place to watch movies and eat food. This friend is a neighbor so I will just be taking an elevator ride to their place. It is perfect weather for movies especially with good friends and food. Looking forward to spending time with other people.

I do not have much more to talk about. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Wednesday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Post About…..

Hello, World!!! Governor Inslee decided to extend the stay at home order till May 31st. I have mixed emotions regarding the extended stay at home order but ultimately I am grateful that Governor Inslee is looking out for the most vulnerable people here are our lovely state of Washington.  Washington has be home for me since the mid 90’s and that doesn’t count whenever I visited my mom and brother every summer and holiday whiled on vacation from school. Looks like I have digressed some. Washington in my home and am grateful that Governor Inslee extended the stay at home order.

I can bitch and complain about the stay at home order all I want but it won’t do anything because it’s keeping it helps people like my dad who doesn’t have a great immune system. It even helps my extremely healthy 89 year old grandpa with staying at home. I am not able to see my family and most of my friend in person due to the fact that I am an essential worker. As much as I miss visiting friends and family, I am grateful for my essential worker status as it means I have a job I can work at.

A job that feels like family and am making some pretty good friends who are taking on the parent role but I am okay with that. At least I am okay with it for the time being. We are in the middle of a pandemic and somethings are worth the fight or at least at the moment. It is nice to have a work family who understands whats going on.

Since were are on the topic of family and friends, I miss the ones I volunteer with at PAWS Cat City. I miss going in helping find cat their furrever home but sadly Cat City is temporarily closed till this all over. Yes, the cats at Cat City went to the PAWS in Lynnwood and are being adopted out there along with dogs. I really miss volunteering at Cat City consider the people I volunteer with like family to me just like my colleagues do when I am at my paid work.

Speaking of cats my cat Billie Dean also fondly called Billie the Kat, is wanting be have help with writing this blog. I have some pictures of painting of wood that is protecting window of closed businesses here in Seattle. I hope to post those soon. By soon I mean Sunday night or Monday morning.

I was planning on writing more about how people are dealing with all this in regards to their mental health and recovery but right now my cat wants attention so I will write about that on Saturday night at work if I have time to do so.  I love my cat so much.

Sorry, I ending this post sooner that I had planned but thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Stay home and save lives by doing so. Peace Out, World!!!!