In Need of Going to the Hospital

Good Monday Morning, World!!! It is just a few minutes after two o’clock in the morning and I am have some pretty severe symptoms regarding my mental health challenges. Specifically, it is my depression that I am really struggling with, right along with my PTSD symptoms. The symptoms of my mental health challenges are quite overwhelming and causing me some concern. Concern enough for me to take myself to the Emergency Room.

I say that it is concerning enough to take myself to the hospital because I am having extremely high urges to self harm. I fear that I can do some serious harm to myself if I do not take myself to the hospital. Sadly, I also have some suicidal thoughts with a plan and this lead me to realize that I NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND WILL TAKE MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL BEFORE I DO ANY HARM TO MYSELF IN ANYWAY, AFTER I AM DONE WRITING THIS POST. I just don’t like feeling like this and wish taking myself to the hospital wasn’t an option but it is needs to be an option as I want to live and not die nor harm myself myself in any way.

The things that have been keeping me safe to this moment in time is my cat, Lil Gertie. She has been by my side since I woke up yesterday (Sunday) evening. She some how knows with her animal intuition that I am struggling at the moment. I personally think if it wasn’t for my cat, Lil Gertie, I would have attempted to die by suicide but thankfully I have not. I have not due to the fact that I have a responsibility to my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie doesn’t need to be an orphan once again nor in yet another animal shelter. It is because of my cat, Lil Gertie, that I am taking myself to the hospital to keep myself safe so I DON’T ATTMEPT TO DIE BY SUICIDE NOR SELF HARM. I WILL NOT SELF HARM OR ATTEMPT TO DIE BY SUICIDE because I owe it to Lil Gertie, my cat, to be around to take care of her.

The other thing that has been helping keeping me safe from self harming or attempting to die by suicide to reading an awesome book called Yesternight by Cat Winters. It has been helping me great deal to keep me out of my own head and not think of about self harm urges or being suicidal. It is an awesome book and I highly recommend the book, Yesternight by Cat Winters.

The other thing beside my cat and reading, is doing some art. I have been painting. Painting to see if it will help me put some words on to the emotions I am feeling in regards to my current state of my of suicidal plans and self harm urges. It helps help a great deal but not enough to help me not go into the emergency room. I am grateful that I was able to express how I am feeling through the art of painting.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I just want to let you all now that I WILL NOT SELF HARM NOR WILL I ATTEMPT TO DIE BY SUICIDE AS I WILL BE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL VIA A LYFTONCE I AM DONE WRITING THIS POST. NO THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE NOR IS IT A PRANK!!! I want tho thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated and yes, if I do get hospitalized for psych reasons, I do have people who can cat sit my my cat, Lil Gertie!!!. Thank you again for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

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It’s Midnight & Unable to Sleep

Happy Twelve Midnight, World!!! Since it is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world, that means it is officially Monday in Seattle. I really do not think I will be able to sleep tonight in part of insomnia but mainly because I slept most of the day on Sunday.

As I am writing this post my cat, Lil Gertie, is wanting to much needed attention. I have been giving her a great deal of attention since I woke up late afternoon, early evening yesterday (Sunday) due to sleeping most of the day. I am not really sure why I slept most of Sunday but I did. I sure know that Lil Gertie, my cat, will be happy that I will be on her “wake schedule” so I can play with her and give her some attention. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, as she has been quite helpful to me in regards to my emotional and mental health. When I went to go to adopt a cat, I went to the same place everyday for a week and she as always the one to come and greet me and play with me. The day adopted her, there were only two other cats that were still there when I first went to look at cats. Neither one of them were interested in me but Lil Gertie was so I think she chose me and not me choosing her even though I would have chosen her anyway. She somehow knows when I am struggling and know what to do in a particular situation. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so very much.

Since I am not really sure I am going to be able to sleep tonight, I will not only be paying attention to Lil Gertie, my cat but will be reading a book by Cat Winters named Yesternight. It is a pretty awesome book and I am highly recommend it. I am not quite to the half way mark of the book but so far so good. If you like historical fiction with a little bit of horror in I would highly suggest reading. It also has some fantasy and science fiction aspects to the book as well. So it is a book that can be of interest to folks across the genre spectrum. I like the type of books that can use multiple genres in one book as it makes more entertaining and interesting read.

I just hope that this isn’t exactly a sleepless night for me as I would like to get some sleep so I don’t sleep again all through the day light hours on Monday. I don’t need my sleep schedule to get more off that it already is. I need to practice some good sleep hygiene.

I do not have much more to say as I want to get to paying attention to my cat, Lil Gertie, and to reading my book Yesternight by Cat Winters. I hope everyone has a great night of sleep. So, Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end. Have a good night sleep everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans To Fight Off Urges To Isolate

Good Morning, once again, World!!! As depressed as I am with the urge to isolate and doing nothing, I have decided to do the opposite of how I am feeling at the moment. I know that what I am about to tell you what I am going to do may appear simple; they are not so simple for me at the moment.

The first thing I plan on doing is to take a shower. It has been exactly one week since I last took a shower. So, at the moment I feel all gross and grungy which is not a good thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if I stunk to other people because I personally think I stink.

After my shower, I plan on going to Red Robin to eat. I love Red Robin and think I should treat myself to something yummy. I usually get the Whiskey River Bar-Be-Que Burger with extra cheese and onion straws.

When I get home from Red Robin, I will do some laundry. I really need to do laundry as it has been quite some time since I have done laundry. As I do my laundry, I will be reading. Not sure if I will be reading Wonder Woman Comic Books or the novel Yesternight by Cat Winters. I most likely will end up reading both Yesternight and Wonder Woman comic books as I have two loads of laundry to do.

I also have some Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) homework I need to do for DBT group tomorrow. Homework that I should have started after group last week but didn’t. It is my own fault for procrastinating. Maybe I will do some DBT homework while doing laundry.

I do not have much else to say. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!