Just Some Random Thoughts

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am trying to type and Lil Gertie is apparently the one wanting to post. I love having a cat that is so lovey dovey.  Having Lil Gertie as an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful for me. I think I would have ended up back in the Emergency Room for self harm thoughts if it weren’t for her. Yes, I know it’s a lot to put on a cat but she is doing her job. A job of preventing me from self harm and/or going in and out of the emergency room for thoughts of self harm. (Side Note: No I don’t feel like self harming at the moment nor am I suicidal.)

I have been scrap booking some of the day. I have even painted in one of my scrapbooks. I have found that putting together scrap books have a god send to me with helping the self harm urges. I say this as putting together scrap books helps me remember the good things in my life.

I talked with my grandpa today. He is on a trip and having a fun time. When he gets back from his trip, we will go out to eat as we normally do every week. I love spending time with my grandpa.

I don’t have much else to say. Have a wonderful evening. Peace out, world!!!

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Thursday Afternoon Random Thoughts

Hello, World!!! I am now home from the Emergency Room. As I mentioned in my last post I self harmed and took myself to the Emergency Room. I punched a brick wall out of anger and frustration. I didn’t break any bones.

I am going to be reading one of my books. Not sure which one yet. No, I haven’t finished my Star Wars book but I will finish it soon. I am thinking about reading my Buddhist Scriptures.

I think I am going to go read now. Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sitting In The Emergency Room (ER)

Hello, World!!! I am sitting in the Emergency Room because I self harmed. I am going to be okay. I am just waiting to talk with the social worker. I might have to talk with my therapist on the phone as well.

The social worker just showed up to talk with me. I need to get going. Have a good day. I will blog again later. Peace Out, World

Weekly Check-In

Hello, World!!! If you have been keeping up to date on my blog you know it has been a tough week for me. You also know that I, unfortunately self harmed. A self harm action I will be discussing with my therapist.

Another thing I need to talk to my therapist about is my sleep issues. Sleep issues that has its ups and downs. It just appears it is more down than up because if it was up I think I would be able to sleep.

Something else that happened this week was that I got a phone call. Not just any phone call. A phone call to schedule a job interview. My job interview is scheduled for this Tuesday and I hope it is a job for me.

I also completed three paintings this week. Paintings that helped me express my emotions in a healthy way. One of these days I need to share my paintings with you all. I have shared a painting or two but that is it. I want to share more paintings with you.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Home From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Good Evening, World!!! I am home from the Emergency Room (E.R). I went to the E.R because I self harmed again. I ended up getting stitches. While in the E.R I used my coping skills. I ended up doing some are work. Specifically, I colored mandala’s. The nurses and social work were impressed with my color scheme of the mandala’s.

The social worker on duty asked what let me to self harm this time and I explained that I dissociated and that is when I self harmed. Dissociation is a problem for me and when I self harm while dissociated it makes it that much worse for me.

Now that I am home, I will be working on one of my workbooks. Not sure which one yet but I will do one. I have found that workbooks help me with my recovery. My therapist likes the fact that I do self help workbooks to help myself and my recovery.

Thank you for reading. Peace out, World!!!

Blogging From the Emergency Room (E.R)

Hello, World!!! As I sit here blogging, I am writing from my laptop on gurney in hallway of an Emergency Room. The reason why I am writing from the Emergency Room is because I ended up self-harming again. I will share what type of self-harm in a later post as I don’t want to trigger anyone at the moment. To be honest with you, I am shocked as hell that the E.R staff are letting me blog at the moment. Maybe it is because they know I won’t do anything to harm myself any further than I have already.

I did use my coping skills box before I self harmed. It did help when I was using my coping skills yet I stopped using them and self harmed. It just proves to me if I use my coping skills I can go without self-harm.

I just wish recovery didn’t have so many relapses. It is non-linear and most definitely  not a straight line. Although it would be easier if it were a straight line. I do have to say this will make me a stronger person even if I don’t want it to.

Thank you for reading. I hope to update you later. Peace Out, World!!!

The Pain is Too Much

Hello, World!!! I am struggling to type as the pain in my hand isn’t going away. In fact the swelling is getting worse. I am thinking I might need to go back to the Emergency Room (E.R) to get it rechecked as it is looking worse than it did this morning when I originally hit the brick wall. I have been using my coping skills to help with the pain or at least to try to help with the pain but it is not working. I think I am going to go back to the Emergency Room (E.R) as a precautionary thing.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!