A Random Monday Evening Post

Good Evening, World!!! As I mentioned in my last post today was and still is a day for me do good self care. So far doing good self care has been challenging to do however it is something that continues to be accomplished. The most challenging of the self care acts was that of taking a shower. Not sure why it has been the most challenging but it was. I did take a shower shortly after my last post and am grateful that I accomplished it.

As accomplished as I feel taking a shower, I feel just as accomplished with the other things I have done today. In fact, I did a great deal of walking today and feel proud that I walked as much as I did today. In fact all the walking I did today led me to walking to a park and enjoying myself there.

When I was at the park, I was there for about an hour and a half. I just sat there enjoying the beauty of the park as well as read. I read some comic books. In fact the comic books I read today at the park were Wonder Woman. If you have been reading my blog for awhile you are well aware that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I have been a Wonder Woman fan since I was a kid. My dad got me into Wonder Woman and I greatly appreciate him for that.

Since returning home from the park, I decided to listen to a podcast about mythology. In fact if it wasn’t for being a big fan of Wonder Woman, I don’t think I would be interested in learning about mythology. After each episode of the podcast about mythology, I go online and look up what was discussed so I am educating myself even more on the subject of mythology.

As I listened to the podcast on mythology, I did some art. Specifically, the art that I did was color. I love to color for a multitude of reasons. One of which is that it is a type of mindfulness practice for me. I am coloring a poster and hope to finish it to give to my therapist. For me giving people finished coloring projects is gratifying.

I don’t have much else to say and really should get going to I can get me something to eat for dinner. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great rest of their evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Happy Monday

Good Morning, World!!! It is yet another Monday and I am wishing I had a job that had a “normal” work schedule but thankfully, I don’t have to work tonight. I do however have a two hour work meeting tomorrow (Tuesday) evening. I enjoy what I do for work, I just don’t like the fact it is an on call job working a twelve hour overnight shift. It is not conducive for someone like me who has “treatment resistant insomnia.” Sadly, I will be putting in my two weeks notice in the next week or two.

As far as writing my resignation letter, I am not going to do that today. I will be laying low and doing things to help me not isolate yet have some “me time” or some good self care time. First and fore most I need to take a much needed shower. The last time I took a shower was last Thursday morning so I am not smelling all that good. You know you smell bad when you can smell yourself and it doesn’t smell all that pretty. I am surprised my cat still wants to sit on my lap and be petted.

Another thing I plan on doing is to go walking. I plan on going on multiple walks as it is a beautiful day outside. As I walk I plan on just taking in the sunshine and enjoying the moment. So, I guess I will be doing mindful walking.

I, of course will be listening to podcast. The subjects I have been listening to over the weekend and most interested in at the moment are philosophy and mythology. I don’t know how I got interested in philosophy but I know how I got interested in mythology. I got interested in mythology due to the fact that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. Wonder Woman’s roots goes back into mythology. If it wasn’t for my love of Wonder Woman I don’t think I would have been interested in mythology. In fact someone told me that philosophy and mythology can go hand in hand and to a degree I agree with that but they are also two very different subjects.

I do not have much more to say except that I hope to educate you on what I have learned from the podcast and from looking up the information online. I also want to thank you for reading my blog as it greatly appreciated from my end of things. Have a good work week everyone. I also hope you all have a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans for a Self-Care Saturday

Good Afternoon, World!!! My sleep has been off lately and it sucks. My sleep normally sucks but as of lately is sucks even more. It appears as of lately that I have only been able to fall asleep around dawn and sleep for my usual three to four hours. As much as I don’t like getting up before five in the morning, I would rather get up before five than start falling asleep around five or six. Well, this morning I fell asleep around five and then woke up at eleven thirty which means I had about six and half hours sleep but I feel like I have wasted most of my day with sleeping a good portion of the daylight.

I may feel like I have wasted my day away with sleeping most of the morning but realistically I know that I had planned to not do much today. My plans for today is mainly because I have realized that I need to do good self-care day for myself that are both intentional and spontaneous. I say both intentional and spontaneous because I need to be intentional about doing good self-care for myself today and have some spontaneity to it as well because you never know what opportunities that might come up for good self-care.

One of the things on my self-care list is to do some reading. I am wanting to catch up on reading the latest Wonder Woman comics. My grandpa bought me the last twelve issues of Wonder Woman because I haven’t bought them due to trying to save money for things that are more of a necessity like rent, food, meds and other such things than comic books. My grandpa realizes that keeping up to date on Wonder Woman comic books is a necessity for me and my mental health so he bought the (recent) issues I don’t have for me. Not only will be I reading Wonder Woman comics I will be also reading one if not both of the books I have been reading off and on for a couple of months. I love to read and hope that I can make a dent in reading at least one of the books I am reading.

Of course another thing I plan on doing today for good self-care is doing some art. Actually, the type of art I am planning on doing today is painting. The reason why painting is because I am trying to teach myself a few things a friend suggested I try when it comes to painting. Not only that another friend wants me to a paint a few things for her to sell at a farmers market she sells her art work at. She thinks some of my paintings will sell. I don’t paint to sell it, I paint to get out my emotions that I have trouble communicating with words.

While doing art and something I am doing now as I write this post is listen to a podcast. Specifically, a podcast on philosophy called “Philosophize This.” I started listening to this particular podcast a few years ago in hopes to catch up to the most up to the last episode but sadly I stopped listening. Not really sure why I stopped listening because I really enjoy “Philosophize This.” I learn a great deal from this podcast about philosophy. I learn my listening to it and then looking up the information I hear from the podcast. I listen to “Philosophize This” podcast on Spotify and am grateful that Spotify has podcast.

I don’t have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a great day and weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans for the Weekend

Good Evening, World!!! It is the beginning of a three day weekend here in the United States. It is Memorial Day Weekend which is a holiday we honor the fallen men and women who fought for our country.

I plan on doing nothing on Saturday and Sunday. By nothing, I mean not leaving my apartment and spending some much needed alone time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I plan on doing some art. Not sure what genre’s of art yet but I will be doing some art. I will also be doing some reading. I will be reading a couple of books that I am in the middle of as well as some comic books. When reading comic books, I most likely will read Wonder Woman since I am a huge fan of Wonder Woman. So I plan on being a hermit this weekend.

On Monday which is Memorial Day here in the United States, I will be going to a service that honors our fallen soldiers at the request of my best friend who lives in another state but served our country. In fact when I told my grandpa what I was doing he wanted to attend with me as he too served in the military. He is “grateful and pleased” that I have decided to do this and hopes that I will make it a tradition for myself every year even if I am out of town. I informed him I would and make sure if I am on a trip that I would plan it to be part of the trip. My grandpa had a smile on his face when I said I would.

I think it is time to turn of the computer and do so reading and then some art. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans To Fight Off Urges To Isolate

Good Morning, once again, World!!! As depressed as I am with the urge to isolate and doing nothing, I have decided to do the opposite of how I am feeling at the moment. I know that what I am about to tell you what I am going to do may appear simple; they are not so simple for me at the moment.

The first thing I plan on doing is to take a shower. It has been exactly one week since I last took a shower. So, at the moment I feel all gross and grungy which is not a good thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if I stunk to other people because I personally think I stink.

After my shower, I plan on going to Red Robin to eat. I love Red Robin and think I should treat myself to something yummy. I usually get the Whiskey River Bar-Be-Que Burger with extra cheese and onion straws.

When I get home from Red Robin, I will do some laundry. I really need to do laundry as it has been quite some time since I have done laundry. As I do my laundry, I will be reading. Not sure if I will be reading Wonder Woman Comic Books or the novel Yesternight by Cat Winters. I most likely will end up reading both Yesternight and Wonder Woman comic books as I have two loads of laundry to do.

I also have some Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) homework I need to do for DBT group tomorrow. Homework that I should have started after group last week but didn’t. It is my own fault for procrastinating. Maybe I will do some DBT homework while doing laundry.

I do not have much else to say. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

An Okay Type of Sunday

Good Evening, World!!! At this moment in time I am tired as hell. I have not had any sleep the last two nights. I have been awake since eight in the morning on Friday and well it is now early Sunday evening. All I want is some sleep. I hope that I am able to sleep tonight. If not then I know the symptoms of my mental health challenges most likely will increase and nobody wants that.

I have been reading most of the day. I have been mainly reading Wonder Woman comic books as it helps me in many different ways. It helps give me a sense of strength that I may not have or feel that I have at the moment. I have yet to start the novel I was telling you about in my last post and hope to start it at some point this evening. The book I hope to start to reading is Yesternight by Cat Winters. I heard nothing but good things about the book.

I ended up having lunch with friends like I do every Sunday. In fact a group of my neighbors who have become good friends have Sunday lunch every week. It is a potluck style meal. It is nice being able to have a weekly meal with my neighbors as it helps us get to know each other and who lives in the building.

After lunch I went grocery shopping with two of my friends who are also my neighbors. I really didn’t need to get much. I just needed milk, butter, mac & cheese, banana’s and yogurt. I do need more groceries however my grandpa will be taking me grocery shopping at the end of the week so I just bought stuff to help carry me through the week with the stuff I already have.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for you my reader. You help make blogging worth while for me. I would still blog without readers but having regular reader helps keep me going. Again, I want to thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

All I Want Is Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! I have not slept all night and it is now eleven o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. At this point in time attempting to go to sleep will be useless as I have plans with friends to go eat lunch. Hopefully, after lunch with my friends, I can try to get a nap in.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was going to binge watch a couple of television shows. I did binge watch a couple of television shows. I watched the Big Bang Theory and laughed my ass off. It feels good to be able to laugh.

Something else that I did to keep myself busy due to insomnia was art. I finished one painting that I will be giving to a friend for his birthday on Friday. I also started another painting and so far it is coming along nicely with a bit of a twist. I also did some coloring.

I, of course read some comic books. Specifically I read Wonder Woman comic books. I am in desperate need to catch up to the latest issue of Wonder Woman. I have been reading and collecting Wonder Woman comic books since I was five years old.

When I was doing some art and reading Wonder Woman comic books, I was listening to music. Music tends to help me be in the creative mind as well as to help me focus on things. In fact as I am writing this post, I have my music on. Currently, I am listening to my Recovery playlist on Spotify. Music tends to soothe my soul and heal my soul at the same time.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I really should start getting ready to go to lunch with my friends as it is eleven o’clock in the morning and we are leaving to go to lunch at twelve noon. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s the Little Things That Will Help

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am not sure how to feel or what to think. As I mentioned in a previous post that I posted on February 26th, I had a meeting with the supervisor of the peer run help line I volunteer at. I was informed that someone that sound like me has been calling the peer run help line and well as the crisis line. I inform them that it wasn’t me and gave them a list of why it wasn’t me. The supervisor then said I could volunteer again on my regular shifts of Saturdays. I get an email yesterday (Friday) telling me to “hold off” as they “investigate.” I understand where this person is coming from as you don’t want a call taker answering phones on help line if they are not doing well themselves. If I were calling these help lines I would have admitted to the supervisor however I didn’t call them and feel like I am being punished. I also feel like I am not being believed and that feeling comes from the trauma I suffered as a child. The thing that frustrates me the most is this person said I could come back and then said to hold off as they investigate. I really like volunteering on the peer run help line and it has helped me a great deal to remain recovery focused and if I loose this gig because of something the folks at this organization think I am doing something I am not doing then I will be extremely hurt. Like I said I understand where the supervisor is coming from however I know without a shadow of doubt that I am NOT calling in. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be surprised if the supervisor reads my blog if they remember I blog. I mention as they are trying to figure out if I am stable enough to volunteer. Now, I am starting to sound a little paranoid but I really want to volunteer at this peer run help line as it has been quite helpful for me to remain focused on my own recovery. As you can tell this specific topic is causing me to have conflicting emotions and I need to use some of my skills.

On to another subject that isn’t so emotional for me, the weather. It is a beautiful sunny day here in Seattle. It may be sunny outside but it sure is colder than hell. I am not a big fan of the cold weather. Despite the chilly weather outside, I think part of my plan for today is to take two extra walks. I usually walk twice a day for a least a mile for each walk. However, I think today I will put in two extra walks, walking a least a mile. It is a beautiful yet chilly day here in Seattle and since the plans I had for this evening were pretty much cancelled, I have time for two extra walks.

I think another thing I will do is read comic books. I really need to catch up on the latest Wonder Woman comic books as I have fallen behind in reading them. If you have been reading my blog for a while you are well aware of that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I started reading and collecting Wonder Woman comics since I was in Kindergarten. Wonder Woman comics have been one of the constants in my life. One of the things I turn to on both the good and the bad days.

Something else that comes to mind that is a no brainer for me to do today is spend some quality time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I am one hundred percent sure that she has been picking up on the emotions I have been dealing with in regards to the volunteer job. Lil Gertie has been cuddling more than she usually does. She tends to do this when my emotions are starting to get the better of me and it helps a great deal. I love my cat so much.

Another thing I am planning on doing in place of volunteering tonight is watching The Umbrella Academy. I am really enjoying the show. I am hoping I can binge watch the rest of the show before the end of the weekend and if I can’t I hope to finish it before I see my therapist on Tuesday.

One last thing I plan on doing is reaching out to friends. Talking to friends has always been helpful to me. Plus it helps me not focus on my own problems. Friends have a way of helping you out even when they don’t realize they are helping you out.

As you can tell, it is a bunch of little things that will help me through all the various emotions I am feeling today. Sometimes it is all about the small things. Small things that can brighten someone’s day. And sometimes you have to create the small things to help brighten your own day.

I don’t have much more to say in this already long post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. If you have beautiful weather go out and enjoy it. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! It is barely six forty five in the morning in my corner of the world and I have not been to sleep yet despite many attempts at sleep. I even took my as need (PRN) sleeping pill and that didn’t even work. I am annoyed that my sleep in inconsistent and that there is much my psych doctor and regular doctor can do except refer me a sleep study. I was referred yet I am unable to make an appointment due to the fact the medical review board at the office I was referred to has to review the referral first which make now sense to me especially since they haven’t even notified my insurance yet. I guess, I just want to figure out why I am not sleeping and am at a loss on what to do as the one thing that could possibly give any ideas has to review the referral and that could take up to six weeks which mean my insurance wont pay for it. I have to have an appointment scheduled within the first four weeks of the referral or my insurance won’t pay for it. And that frustration is whole other story I won’t even get into.

One of the things I have done to entertain myself was watch the Umbrella Academy. I am not finished with the season yet but it is getting extremely interesting. I am finding it very intriguing and entertaining. I am hoping to finish season one by the time Friday comes around.

The other thing that helped me get through yet another sleepless night is reading. I read comic books. Not just any comic books. I read Wonder Woman comic books. I love Wonder Woman. In fact I collect Wonder Woman comics as it is a hobby of mine. It is not just only a hobby but reading them is also a skill that helps me with challenging times. I read Wonder Woman comic books even when I am not having challenging times.

I am now watching the morning news. Not very much going on in the news that I am really interested with the exception of the weather. Everything else in the news in pretty bleak. The news is so freaking depressing.

I do not have much else to say. I just hope that when I attempt to go back to bed that I can actually fall asleep. Sleep is extremely important to ones mental health. I should get going so I can try to get some sleep since I didn’t have a wink of sleep all night. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated.  Have a wonderful Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing Like A Nightmare Early On A Monday Morning

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning and people are starting to get up to get ready for their work day. I have been awake since two thirty this morning due to a nightmare and it is now five o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. Waking up to a nightmare is absolutely no fun. At least my cat did her job and woke me up from the nightmare before it got any worse. Some how she trained herself to wake me up from a nightmare by either licking my nose or licking one of my big toes. Not sure how she trained herself to do that but I am grateful for it.

Since I woke up from a nightmare, I have been reading comic books and listening to music. Specifically, I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music. For some reason reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music has been quite helpful for me the last two and half hours which I am extremely grateful for.

Now that it is five o’clock in the morning, I will be watching the morning news as I haven’t kept up to date on the news via television all weekend. I did however read the newspaper over the weekend. Sometimes staying away from the news is quite helpful for my mental health and this past weekend it was quite helpful as my depression symptoms have been increasing which sucks shit.

I don’t have much more to talk about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great start to the work week. I also hope everyone has a great Monday. Peace Out, World!!!