Plans To Fight Off Urges To Isolate

Good Morning, once again, World!!! As depressed as I am with the urge to isolate and doing nothing, I have decided to do the opposite of how I am feeling at the moment. I know that what I am about to tell you what I am going to do may appear simple; they are not so simple for me at the moment.

The first thing I plan on doing is to take a shower. It has been exactly one week since I last took a shower. So, at the moment I feel all gross and grungy which is not a good thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if I stunk to other people because I personally think I stink.

After my shower, I plan on going to Red Robin to eat. I love Red Robin and think I should treat myself to something yummy. I usually get the Whiskey River Bar-Be-Que Burger with extra cheese and onion straws.

When I get home from Red Robin, I will do some laundry. I really need to do laundry as it has been quite some time since I have done laundry. As I do my laundry, I will be reading. Not sure if I will be reading Wonder Woman Comic Books or the novel Yesternight by Cat Winters. I most likely will end up reading both Yesternight and Wonder Woman comic books as I have two loads of laundry to do.

I also have some Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) homework I need to do for DBT group tomorrow. Homework that I should have started after group last week but didn’t. It is my own fault for procrastinating. Maybe I will do some DBT homework while doing laundry.

I do not have much else to say. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

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An Okay Type of Sunday

Good Evening, World!!! At this moment in time I am tired as hell. I have not had any sleep the last two nights. I have been awake since eight in the morning on Friday and well it is now early Sunday evening. All I want is some sleep. I hope that I am able to sleep tonight. If not then I know the symptoms of my mental health challenges most likely will increase and nobody wants that.

I have been reading most of the day. I have been mainly reading Wonder Woman comic books as it helps me in many different ways. It helps give me a sense of strength that I may not have or feel that I have at the moment. I have yet to start the novel I was telling you about in my last post and hope to start it at some point this evening. The book I hope to start to reading is Yesternight by Cat Winters. I heard nothing but good things about the book.

I ended up having lunch with friends like I do every Sunday. In fact a group of my neighbors who have become good friends have Sunday lunch every week. It is a potluck style meal. It is nice being able to have a weekly meal with my neighbors as it helps us get to know each other and who lives in the building.

After lunch I went grocery shopping with two of my friends who are also my neighbors. I really didn’t need to get much. I just needed milk, butter, mac & cheese, banana’s and yogurt. I do need more groceries however my grandpa will be taking me grocery shopping at the end of the week so I just bought stuff to help carry me through the week with the stuff I already have.

I do not have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for you my reader. You help make blogging worth while for me. I would still blog without readers but having regular reader helps keep me going. Again, I want to thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

All I Want Is Sleep

Good Morning, World!!! I have not slept all night and it is now eleven o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. At this point in time attempting to go to sleep will be useless as I have plans with friends to go eat lunch. Hopefully, after lunch with my friends, I can try to get a nap in.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was going to binge watch a couple of television shows. I did binge watch a couple of television shows. I watched the Big Bang Theory and laughed my ass off. It feels good to be able to laugh.

Something else that I did to keep myself busy due to insomnia was art. I finished one painting that I will be giving to a friend for his birthday on Friday. I also started another painting and so far it is coming along nicely with a bit of a twist. I also did some coloring.

I, of course read some comic books. Specifically I read Wonder Woman comic books. I am in desperate need to catch up to the latest issue of Wonder Woman. I have been reading and collecting Wonder Woman comic books since I was five years old.

When I was doing some art and reading Wonder Woman comic books, I was listening to music. Music tends to help me be in the creative mind as well as to help me focus on things. In fact as I am writing this post, I have my music on. Currently, I am listening to my Recovery playlist on Spotify. Music tends to soothe my soul and heal my soul at the same time.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I really should start getting ready to go to lunch with my friends as it is eleven o’clock in the morning and we are leaving to go to lunch at twelve noon. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope you all have a great Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s the Little Things That Will Help

Good Morning, World!!! Right now I am not sure how to feel or what to think. As I mentioned in a previous post that I posted on February 26th, I had a meeting with the supervisor of the peer run help line I volunteer at. I was informed that someone that sound like me has been calling the peer run help line and well as the crisis line. I inform them that it wasn’t me and gave them a list of why it wasn’t me. The supervisor then said I could volunteer again on my regular shifts of Saturdays. I get an email yesterday (Friday) telling me to “hold off” as they “investigate.” I understand where this person is coming from as you don’t want a call taker answering phones on help line if they are not doing well themselves. If I were calling these help lines I would have admitted to the supervisor however I didn’t call them and feel like I am being punished. I also feel like I am not being believed and that feeling comes from the trauma I suffered as a child. The thing that frustrates me the most is this person said I could come back and then said to hold off as they investigate. I really like volunteering on the peer run help line and it has helped me a great deal to remain recovery focused and if I loose this gig because of something the folks at this organization think I am doing something I am not doing then I will be extremely hurt. Like I said I understand where the supervisor is coming from however I know without a shadow of doubt that I am NOT calling in. In all honesty, I wouldn’t be surprised if the supervisor reads my blog if they remember I blog. I mention as they are trying to figure out if I am stable enough to volunteer. Now, I am starting to sound a little paranoid but I really want to volunteer at this peer run help line as it has been quite helpful for me to remain focused on my own recovery. As you can tell this specific topic is causing me to have conflicting emotions and I need to use some of my skills.

On to another subject that isn’t so emotional for me, the weather. It is a beautiful sunny day here in Seattle. It may be sunny outside but it sure is colder than hell. I am not a big fan of the cold weather. Despite the chilly weather outside, I think part of my plan for today is to take two extra walks. I usually walk twice a day for a least a mile for each walk. However, I think today I will put in two extra walks, walking a least a mile. It is a beautiful yet chilly day here in Seattle and since the plans I had for this evening were pretty much cancelled, I have time for two extra walks.

I think another thing I will do is read comic books. I really need to catch up on the latest Wonder Woman comic books as I have fallen behind in reading them. If you have been reading my blog for a while you are well aware of that I am a huge Wonder Woman fan. I started reading and collecting Wonder Woman comics since I was in Kindergarten. Wonder Woman comics have been one of the constants in my life. One of the things I turn to on both the good and the bad days.

Something else that comes to mind that is a no brainer for me to do today is spend some quality time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I am one hundred percent sure that she has been picking up on the emotions I have been dealing with in regards to the volunteer job. Lil Gertie has been cuddling more than she usually does. She tends to do this when my emotions are starting to get the better of me and it helps a great deal. I love my cat so much.

Another thing I am planning on doing in place of volunteering tonight is watching The Umbrella Academy. I am really enjoying the show. I am hoping I can binge watch the rest of the show before the end of the weekend and if I can’t I hope to finish it before I see my therapist on Tuesday.

One last thing I plan on doing is reaching out to friends. Talking to friends has always been helpful to me. Plus it helps me not focus on my own problems. Friends have a way of helping you out even when they don’t realize they are helping you out.

As you can tell, it is a bunch of little things that will help me through all the various emotions I am feeling today. Sometimes it is all about the small things. Small things that can brighten someone’s day. And sometimes you have to create the small things to help brighten your own day.

I don’t have much more to say in this already long post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. If you have beautiful weather go out and enjoy it. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! It is barely six forty five in the morning in my corner of the world and I have not been to sleep yet despite many attempts at sleep. I even took my as need (PRN) sleeping pill and that didn’t even work. I am annoyed that my sleep in inconsistent and that there is much my psych doctor and regular doctor can do except refer me a sleep study. I was referred yet I am unable to make an appointment due to the fact the medical review board at the office I was referred to has to review the referral first which make now sense to me especially since they haven’t even notified my insurance yet. I guess, I just want to figure out why I am not sleeping and am at a loss on what to do as the one thing that could possibly give any ideas has to review the referral and that could take up to six weeks which mean my insurance wont pay for it. I have to have an appointment scheduled within the first four weeks of the referral or my insurance won’t pay for it. And that frustration is whole other story I won’t even get into.

One of the things I have done to entertain myself was watch the Umbrella Academy. I am not finished with the season yet but it is getting extremely interesting. I am finding it very intriguing and entertaining. I am hoping to finish season one by the time Friday comes around.

The other thing that helped me get through yet another sleepless night is reading. I read comic books. Not just any comic books. I read Wonder Woman comic books. I love Wonder Woman. In fact I collect Wonder Woman comics as it is a hobby of mine. It is not just only a hobby but reading them is also a skill that helps me with challenging times. I read Wonder Woman comic books even when I am not having challenging times.

I am now watching the morning news. Not very much going on in the news that I am really interested with the exception of the weather. Everything else in the news in pretty bleak. The news is so freaking depressing.

I do not have much else to say. I just hope that when I attempt to go back to bed that I can actually fall asleep. Sleep is extremely important to ones mental health. I should get going so I can try to get some sleep since I didn’t have a wink of sleep all night. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated.  Have a wonderful Wednesday. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing Like A Nightmare Early On A Monday Morning

Good Morning, World!!! Well, it is Monday morning and people are starting to get up to get ready for their work day. I have been awake since two thirty this morning due to a nightmare and it is now five o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. Waking up to a nightmare is absolutely no fun. At least my cat did her job and woke me up from the nightmare before it got any worse. Some how she trained herself to wake me up from a nightmare by either licking my nose or licking one of my big toes. Not sure how she trained herself to do that but I am grateful for it.

Since I woke up from a nightmare, I have been reading comic books and listening to music. Specifically, I have been reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music. For some reason reading Wonder Woman comic books and listening to Christmas music has been quite helpful for me the last two and half hours which I am extremely grateful for.

Now that it is five o’clock in the morning, I will be watching the morning news as I haven’t kept up to date on the news via television all weekend. I did however read the newspaper over the weekend. Sometimes staying away from the news is quite helpful for my mental health and this past weekend it was quite helpful as my depression symptoms have been increasing which sucks shit.

I don’t have much more to talk about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great start to the work week. I also hope everyone has a great Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Two In The Morning Fun

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning and I am unable to sleep. I am unable to sleep because I worked last night and ended up sleeping all day. I wish I could get some form of sleep so I can get back on a regular sleep schedule.

One of things I planned to do tonight went out the window. I was planning on watching movies however I couldn’t. First my internet and WiFi went down and then twenty minutes later my electricity went out so I couldn’t watch movies via DVD or streaming. In fact I now have electricity even though it wasn’t scheduled to be back on till twelve noon.

Not having any electricity made me think on what kind of fun I could have without electricity. So I made me blanket fort and set up my art supplies as well as put in some Wonder Woman comic books and the fantasy book I am reading. I then grabbed my battery operated lanterns and some flashlights. After the fort was built and everything else entered the fort, the fun began.

So, I have been spending most of the night in my fort reliving the good parts of my childhood. I have been painting in my fort and decided to add some collaging to the painting. I think the two genres together is creative, fun and can come out quite interesting.

After doing some art, I decided to read. I read a few chapters in the fantasy novel I am reading and am really getting into it. I also have been reading some Wonder Woman comic books. As I was reading, that is when the electricity came back on. So, now I am blogging about the fun childhood experience I relived.

Think I am going to continue doing what I was doing before the electricity came back on. Not sure why it went off in the first place but I am glad it went out because I had fun and am having fun doing things that remind me of the good parts of my childhood.

Thank you for reading my blog It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope that you all can find something to do that is a fun activity that brings you joy that is from your childhood. Everyone has something that brings them joy from their childhood despite traumatizing childhoods. I hope everyone has a fun weekend. Peace Out, World!!!