Trying to Get to Sleep

Hello, World!!! It is nearly eleven at night here in Seattle with my cat, Billie Dean by my side. I’m having trouble going to sleep again. I just wish I knew why I have been having issues sleeping. It’s something to talk with my mental health and physical health teams about.

Anyway, I had an okay day today. I went to my grandpa’s home and did some of my laundry. I also helped my grandpa with some of his chores. He is 91 going on 92. I love my grandpa so much and am grateful for him everyday. He and my grandma helped my dad raise me.

The thing I’m planning on doing to help me relax enough to get to sleep. So, I am going to be watching Mr. Holland’s Opus which is a great movie that includes music. I love this movie and can watch it multiple times without getting sick of it.

I don’t have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you my reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week that I do my weekly check-in. First and fore most I have been working from home due to the fact that I have been dealing with Covid-19. My work is wanting me to come back to the office at least once a week if not twice a week. So I go a Covid-19 test yesterday to see if it comes back negative which I hope it does because I am going stir crazy isolating because of Covid. On that note at least my employer has be very supportive. I consider myself that I am able to work from home when I am not so fatigue from having Covid-19.

On that note, my family and friends as well as my neighbors have supportive of me going through Covid-19. My family, friends and neighbors have been making sure I’ve been getting fed with food they make me. They also provide me with stuff like toilet paper and cleaning supplies. I’m grateful that I have people in my life that care about me and willing to make sure I am doing okay.

Going back to the work issue, I feel like I am lucky that I am able to have the luxury from home. Yes, I did have to take about week off because Covid-19 sucks shit and was so fatigue from it that even working from home was challenging. Again, I am happy that I am well enough to be able to work from home. Yes, I still fill shitty but at least I feel well enough go work from home and I am lucky to be able to work from home.

As far as my sleep goes, it sucks shit. I didn’t sleep well last night and ended up sleeping all day today. My sleep hygiene sucks right now. I am not sure why but I would like to blame having Covid-19. Weather or not Covid is the reason why my sleep schedule is so off.

I don’t have much more lack of sleep issue. I sadly slept all day today due to the lack of sleep I got last night. I really do not like when my sleep schedule is so out of wack but I realize that I will get back to a normal sleep schedule for myself.

I don’t have much more to say about my weekly check in. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. If it wasn’t for you my reader, I would not be writing my blog. I greatly appreciate that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading in my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Apparently, Mr. Sandman Forgot to Stop by My Place

Good Saturday, Morning, World!!! It is five zero four (5:04) in the blasted morning here in Seattle area. In fact as I looked out the window it is currently foggy outside. In all honesty, I wish I was able to sleep despite liking fog when I don’t have to be out in it.

As far as my cat, Billie Dean, he is sound asleep. Something I wish I was doing at the moment. Sadly, Mr. Sandman forgot to stop by my place so I could get some sleep. I just would like to sleep a solid eight hours, preferably at night. I am however grateful that Billie, my cat, is still asleep or he would most likely be wanting to play. And as much I as enjoy playing with Billie, I am just way too tired to play with him at the moment which is why I am glad he is sound asleep.

Since I haven’t been able to sleep I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to the podcast Philosophize This.” Of course as I listen to this podcast, I am coloring. In fact I am coloring the creepy, morbid Disney Horror coloring book that I ordered off of Amazon. I’m hopingo to show you updates on the pictures I am coloring.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Time of Night in Seattle

Good Very Early in the Morning from my corner of the world known as Seattle!!! I am not really sure why I am unable to sleep tonight but it is frustrating as hell. I have been doing both coping skills as well as doing self care. They are helping a little bit but not as much as I wish they would help.

One of the things I have been dealing with is increased anxiety , PTSD and depression which sucks shit especially when they all decide to come all at once. One of things that appear to be helping it doing mindfulness meditation practices. It helps me stay grounded.

Another thing that helps me stay grounded in my so very smart kitty, Billie Dean. He seams to know when I need the extra support and makes sure I don’t leave his site. Oh how I love Billie and the connection we have. I am so grateful that he chose me. He is a great cat and am glad he is my cat.

Something else I have been doing it coloring. No, I am not coloring the Disney horror coloring book at the moment. I am coloring a coloring page I got from Stuff2Color.com. They have some awesome coloring pictures. In fact a colored one for my grandpa and framed it. I gave it to him for Christmas. He was happy about it and put it up on the wall for all to see.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

Not Sorry About My Not So Rated G Post

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! Or at least it’s very early in the morning here in my corner of the world, known as Seattle. Apparently, some readers got offended by my last post regarding coloring a morbid coloring book that is all Disney characters. I received an email from WordPress that it disturbed some of my readers but it doesn’t break any rules or community standards. All they wanted was me to put a “Trigger Warning” at the beginning of the post. I totally understand about getting triggered by things and when I do, I talk with my mental health treatment team as well as other who are in recovery. I also use the skills I learned through therapy when I am triggered. Am I sorry the post triggered other, no not really. I feel bad that I triggered others but I’m not sorry about it as it could be a way for people to learn to cope by using coping skill that help them. For me coloring this coloring book is a way for me to heal from some things that are Disney related. For me coloring and doing a morbid coloring book is a form of self care and healing for me.

As far a the morbid Disney coloring book, it appears that my cat, Billie would like to help with me at times. He doesn’t seem bothered by the morbid Disney coloring book. I love my cat and how he likes my morbid sense of humor.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading it. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me that you read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Despite Being Tired as Hell, I’m Going to Work

Good Morning, World!!! I am tired as hell as I didn’t not get much sleep again. Part of the reason why I was unable to sleep was because of the depression and insomnia. The other part was because two of my neighbors on my floor decided to have an argument that led into a physical altercation. Not exactly my idea of a good night of sleep.

I do plan on working today due to the fact that I need the money to pay my rent and other bills which I count meds as a bill. If I don’t get my meds it’s not a pretty site for everyone involved. I love my job with a passion and want to make sure I practice what I preach when it comes to my clients.

Being a good example to my clients and to my colleagues is extremely impartment to me as I really want to be the person others can come to for advice. I hope this post doesn’t sound like I am bragging on myself because that is not my intention to do so. I just want to say that despite being extremely tired I will be going to work today. I love my job and love work with both my clients and colleagues.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog as you are the reason why I write my blog. I hope everyone has a great Thursday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Wanting to Escape from My Own Reality

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I really want to escape my own reality. The reality of the depression I am dealing with. I personally think the depression I am currently dealing with has something to do with being in quarantine due to Covid-19.

Let’s start with first things first, work helps me not focus on my own reality as I need to make sure the needs of my clients get met. Plus it feels good when a client accomplishes a goal that they have bee working on for a long time. I love being able to walk along side of people who are working on their own personal journey of recovery.

Another thing the helps me escape from my own reality is volunteering at a local animal shelter. Even though I have my own cat to play with it is gratifying to see cats get adopted into a furrever home. Seeing cats adopted is rewarding in itself and I am thrilled to be able to experience that and not just with the cats I have adopted but cats that have been adopted by others.

Another way, I find a way to escape from reality it reading. Reading all sorts of books including comics or comic books. I do have to say be favorite comic book is Wonder Woman and I have my dad to thank for that. Despite my dad loosing his ability to read, he always encouraged me to read. In fact my favorite genre’s of books are science fiction, fantasy and horror books. Since my dad is unable to read due to a traumatic brain injury (TBI), we call each other every evening and I read him books. Doing this has helped mend and heal our issues. We do occasionally read comic books but that is more my thing that my dad’s thing. I am just grateful that reading to my dad is healing our relationship.

Of course I can forget my sweet loving cuddle bug of a cat that helps me escape the realities of what life has to bring. The cat love is unconditional and am grateful for my cat Billie Dean.

Let not forget the most important of escaping reality which is sleep. Sleep can be a major reality escape especially with people dealing with depression and other such mental health diagnosis.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading m blog as if it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be witting my blog. It is great appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not the Most Productive Day I’ve Had

Good Evening, World. It is seven ten in the evening in my neck of the woods known as Seattle. If you have read my last few post, I was not able to at all last night and spent most of the the day sleeping. I am finally awake enough to be able to semi function and I by they I mean by writing this post. And of course having a neighbor who is a close friend get me some groceries. I just wish my neighbor would hurry up with getting me my groceries. I shouldn’t be complaining as this neighbor is one of the good guys and respects people even they don’t agree politically.

I guess, I am being inpatient is because I am tired as hell and didn’t sleep last night but did sleep most of day. I sadly, missed work due to the lack of sleep and and I highly dislike missing work as the clients I work with depend on me. I think part of the reason my sleep schedule is unpredictable is because my depression symptoms are starting to slightly increase which is not a good thing.

Not only is my neighbor who is my friend getting groceries for me, my cat has been even more cuddly more than he normally is. Billie being cuddly and my friend getting me groceries is very helpful for my depression symptoms.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Can’t F*cking Sleep

Good Morning from Seattle!!! I still have not be to sleep and it is fucking pissing me off. And I really don’t care if this post isn’t G rated. Part of me is wondering if I am unable to sleep because of depression but I am not having my typical signs of depression but it’s something to think about.

On the plus side of things, my family, friends and colleagues are worried about me. In fact they all have been checking in on me which makes me feel love and appreciated. I have some pretty awesome people in my life including my colleagues. My colleagues really seem to care about each other. Of course I know my friends and family love me and care about me.

And of course my precious kitty cat, Billie Dean loves me so very much. He has been following me around all day as well as cuddling with me. He is my baby and I don’t care what others think as Billie in part of my family. I am so glad that he picked me in the shelter. Being picked by any animal is a precious thing especially when it’s a cat or bird.

I best be going now as I am starting fall asleep as I write this blog. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog I would not be writing my blog. Thank you again from the bottom for my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Not Going to Work Today

Good Morning, World!!! As if this day couldn’t get worse. Well it could get worse but I have faith it won’t. Despite not getting much sleep last due to an idiot neighbor pulling the fire alarm due to other neighbors not wearing mask which is annoying in itself. I found out my dad was in the Emergency Room all night. He will be admitted to the hospital. It looks like I won’t be going to work like I had hoped to do. I did let two supervisors know as well as HR know that I would be going into work but I will have to now tell them I won’t be going into work. I really want to work but due to the lack of sleep due to a neighbor and my dad being in the hospital, I wouldn’t be at my best to help my clients. I really want to be at my best for my clients at work as they deserve to have me at my best.

On that note, Billie Dean, my cat is cuddling me right now. I think he senses that something is wrong and is comforting me. I just love my cat, Billie so much. He know exactly when I need some extra loving care and comfort.

As far as my dad goes, I hope he is just in the hospital for a couple of days. On a positive note he does not have Covid-19. He had a couple of grand mal seizures so they are just keeping him for observation and to make sure his meds are at an appropriated level. I love dad and am grateful that he raised me as a single dad back in the 80’s and 90’s with the help of my grandparents.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to say thank for reading my blog post. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great Wednesday ahead of you. I know I will try to have a good Wednesday. Just remember I appreciate all of you and think you are all awesome people. Peace Out, World!!!