No Sleep In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! As expected, I am unable to sleep. I expected that I would not be able to sleep tonight due to sleeping a great deal for about three days due depression related to grief. Grief related to my grandma’s passing away on Valentines Day of last year (2018). It is hard to believe that in a little over three weeks it will be a year since my grandma passed away.

Since I am unable to sleep, I am listening to music. Specifically, I am listening to Sleater-Kinney. They are a great local band from the Seattle area. They are actually, if I am not mistaken from the Olympia / Lacey area of Washington. I tend to favor local musicians from where I live as well as where I grew up as I tend to relate to them a bit more than other musicians.

Another thing I have been doing tonight is reading. I started reading “Lost Boys” by Orson Scott Card. I really like him as an author as I have read other books he has written. I thought I would give this book a try. I usually only read book series but thought I would read a stand alone book. Reading is a great distraction from the reality I am facing.

In fact both reading and music are great distraction from the reality I am facing in regards to dealing with my grandma’s death. Yes, it has been nearly a year since she passed away but she was a motherly figure to me. She helped raise me.

I don’t have much more to say. I will try to blog again later on today. I hope I can get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket. I hope everyone has a great Monday. Enjoy you week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

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Sleepless In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after four in the morning in my corner of the world and I have not slept a wink all night. It is kind of frustrating as I will be celebrating Christmas with my dads side of the family today and then head off to my moms later this evening. I just don’t want to be a cranky bucket for anyone in my family.

I most definitely don’t want to be a cranky bucket when I am at mom’s as she and my uncle want me to go to the midnight church service with them to bring in Christmas. I don’t consider myself Christian but if my mom wants me to go to church as part of her Christmas gift from me to here I might as well. It won’t hurt me going just this once.

In fact I have been looking into Buddhism for awhile now and am going to start attending a Buddhist temple in the new year. Or at least that is my goal at the moment. I know Buddhism and Christianity don’t go hand and hand but I can respect other people’s religion. My mom doesn’t like the fact that I have been looking into Buddhism which is why I think she want me to go to church as part as my gift to her.

I best be going. I am hoping to at least get some sleep in. I hope everyone has a good holiday if you celebrate Christmas. Thank you for reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Officially Christmas Eve

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially Christmas Eve in all of America. I don’t know how how to feel about it being Christmas Eve as I am tired as hell because I have not been to sleep yet due to insomnia. I also don’t know haw to feel about it because it is the first Christmas Eve without my grandma. Grief has stricken me hard at the moment. At least my cat, Lil Gertie, is helping me a great deal.

On top of not being able to sleep and dealing with grief, my depression and PTSD symptoms are increasing as well. I am debating whether or not to email my therapist about how I am doing at the moment. I think he will be in the office till about one in the afternoon today but I am not a hundred percent sure.

I do know that today, tomorrow and Wednesday, I will be dealing with family and I just need to make sure I have my ducks in a row as best as I can keep them in a row. What I need is some freaking sleep. Hopefully, I can get some sleep at some point today before I get to my mom’s tonight.

Maybe I should email my therapist so I could at least give him a heads up about how things are going for me at the moment. He already know it is going to be a challenging holiday for me. My therapist is awesome and appreciate him. In fact I am grateful for him and how much he has helped me with my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say as I want to try to get some sleep. I hope everyone who celebrates the Christmas holiday has a good Christmas. Have a wonderful holiday everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

No Sleep For Me

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep right now. No matter how much I try, I am unable to sleep. I have taken my sleep meds as well as some Melatonin and neither are working. I am starting to get quite frustrated with not being able to sleep.

Thankfully, I have electricity because it keeps going out due to the windy weather and power lines keep going down. I am grateful for electricity at the moment because I have been watching movies which has been quite helpful to me.

Unfortunately, yet fortunately the electricity would go out due to the windy weather and I then get a battery operated lantern and read. I am reading a book that I keep putting down and picking back but have to reread from the beginning due to forgetting where I left off. I am reading a science fiction / fantasy novel. I love reading

So between reading and movies I have been keeping myself busy. Lil Gertie, appears to be happy that I am awake right now as she is getting a lot attention as she is a night owl. I love my cat so much. She makes my life so much better.

I want to write more but my lights are starting to flicker again so I want to make sure this post gets posted just in case the electricity goes out again. The weather in Seattle the last few days has been yucky to even those who have spent their entire lives in the Seattle area. I just wish it wasn’t so windy.

Again, I really should get going. I hope everyone has a good Friday as it is officially Friday everywhere in America. Before I go, I would like to wish everyone a Blessed Solstice. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Some Midnight Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially twelve midnight in my corner of the world. I am having trouble sleeping at the moment and am a little goofy at the moment due to my sleep medicine. I know my last two post was about my mental health appointments and I have a feeling that is where this post is going to go but I will attempt for it to not be one hundred percent about my mental health appointments.

I am just extremely please that my recovery is progressing well and in the direction that is positive. I am also grateful that my therapist and I came up with some great coping skills as well as some great self care strategies. Most have to deal with art. I love doing art.

Speaking of art, I have been doing some art since I am unable to sleep. I started of my coloring and then realized I wanted to do something a little be more creative. I then started to do a painting which is including some collaging. I am make this particular art work for my neighbor who lives across the hall from me. He has become a good friend to me. We both look out for each other and no it is not a romantic relationship.

I am really grateful for my therapist and how much he has helped me the last eight or so months. He has helped me practice some of my coping skills and has taught me some new coping skills. He has be one of the best therapist I have had.

I think I need to do some good self care by attempting to go back to bed so I can sleep. I hope everyone has a good night sleep. I would like to thank you once again for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated. Have a goodnight everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Two O’clock in the Morning Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. I am not able to sleep at the moment. I am unsure why I am unable to sleep however I personally think it is part to insomnia as well PTSD symptoms. Having little to no sleep also does not help with my depression symptoms. All I know is I would like to get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket.

I might as well as remind you my reader of why there are advertisements on my blog. I have advertisements on my blog to earn some extra money. However I don’t earn the extra money unless you click on to the ad and let it load. So with each little click to the advertisements on my blog earns me a few cents. I know it is not much money but it something. So, I don’t think I will discuss that advertisement thing again for another few weeks as I am sure you don’t want to keep reading about it as I am sure you are not big fans of the advertisements but they do earn me a few extra cents with each click.

Anyways it sounds like the wind is blowing hard and the rain is pounding against my bedroom window. It sounds like there is some nasty weather outside at the moment and it most definitely not the typical Seattle weather for this time of year although it is not unusual for there to be some wind from time to time.  I just hope this nasty goes away by the time the sun rises but I am not holding out hope for it the nastiness to stop.

Enough about the weather here in Seattle lets talk about it being two in the morning in my corner of the world and how Lil Gertie is happy that I am awake. She is happy I am awake because I have been playing with her to help me through the difficult moments I have been have due to not being able to sleep. This is the time of day she is most playful and usually doesn’t expect to play with me as I am in bed but I think she is happy she is able to play since I am up. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. It is hard to believe that in three days from now it will be seven months since I adopted Lil Gertie. I love her so much and can’t imagine life without her right now. Oh yeah before I forget, I order Lil Gertie a new cat carrier as I have been using the box cat carrier I got when I adopted her. I bought it from Amazon last Wednesday and finally it was delivered last Friday. She still doesn’t like being in the carrier but she hasn’t fought going into it when I have but her in it and she has meowed when she has been in it. I have been putting Lil Gertie into the new carrier so she can get use to it and not so afraid of it. I keep her in it for no more than ten minutes to see how she reacts and no I don’t keep her in the carrier when I am not home. I keep the side entrance of the carrier open and down so she could go in and out of it if she wants. She has gone in it to sniff and quickly came out but hopefully she will know it is a safe place for her so when I do have to take her somewhere, it won’t put her in more stress. The last thing I want is to put Lil Gertie in stress out mode.

I think I am going to get going as I am wanting to attempt to get some sleep tonight. Hopefully insomnia gives me a break and that my anxiety, depression and PTSD symptoms continue to lessen so I can get some sleep. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You guys are all awesome!!! Peace Out, World!!!

It’s Officially Dead Turkey Day

Good Morning, World!!! And to everyone in the United States, Happy Dead Turkey Day, also known as Thanksgiving Day. I find myself awake at this hour in the morning due to insomnia. I have taken my Melatonin, sleeping meds and some sleepy time tea. I have also listened to some sleeping time meditation to help me sleep but it appears nothing is helping at the moment.

I’m not going to lie, today is the first Thanksgiving since my grandma passed away and it is going to be a difficult one. Or at least I expect it to be a difficult one for me and my dad’s side of the family especially for my grandfather. As worried as I am on how I am going to handle today with the emotions that the holidays normally brings to me, I worry about the grief that not only will be happening to me but to my family. I just want to make sure I am able to hold my emotions together for my family and let my emotions go when I am not around my family.

I do have a good self care plan in place specifically for Thanksgiving as my therapist and I came up with one during our session this past Tuesday. My therapist may have still not been feeling better but I am grateful that he is back even if its for part time for the rest of the year. He appears to be the type of person who is rarely out sick but am grateful that he is back. I just wish he was feeling at 100%. I am going to start seeing him twice a week till mid January to help me through the holidays. We might do the two sessions a week till the end of February since my grandma passed away in mid-February and her birthday was in mid January. He just wants to makes sure I continue to stay stable and improve. All he is asking for right now is to stay stable like I am at the moment. But with now pressure.

I am so grateful for you my reader. Thank you for reading my blog. Have a great Thanksgiving Day. Have a wonderful day all. Peace Out, World!!!