A Wednesday Evening Post

Good Evening, World!!! I am still dealing with increased Depression and PTSD symptoms and have emailed my therapist regarding it. I emailed my therapist regarding the increased symptoms just to have him be aware of the situation even though I personally think the increased mental health symptoms are due to the health issues I am dealing with. The health issues I am dealing with happen to be a “severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and mild right Kidney Infection.” It is not uncommon for me to have an increase mental health symptoms whenever I have an UTI which just makes things the much more uncomfortable. My therapist emailed me back about the email sent him about me struggling and he too “hope symptoms improves” as my infections improve. I am grateful that I have a therapist that is supportive.

I just got back from Red Robin with a friend who lives in my apartment building. I treated my friend to Red Robin as a thank you for putting up with my shit. My friend is an awesome individual and extremely caring. She was and is very appreciative of me taking her to Red Robin. We ended up having the same thing at Red Robin which was The Whiskey Barbecue Burger with bottomless fries. She had an ice tea to drink while I had a freckled lemonade which is strawberry lemonade. It was nice to spend time with a good friend at my favorite restaurant.

When I arrived home from dinner at Red Robin with my friend, I noticed that the three books I ordered from Amazon arrived. Thankfully, they left them outside my apartment door instead of outside the apartment building door. The three books I ordered are about race as I want to be a better ally to people of color. I also order two more books from Amazon about race. One of which should arrive tomorrow and the other book is on back order and should arrive at the end of September. I am going to start off reading the book “How To Be An AntiRacist” by Ibram X. Kendi. I will let you know how the book is and will do a book review on it. Reading is one of my go to things to help my mental health symptoms and anytime I can be educated on anything is a plus. I really hope I can get a better understanding about race as I want to be the best ally I can be. If anyone has any books about race to suggest, it would be greatly appreciated. Remember, I have three that arrived today including the one I mention, two on the way from Amazon and one in my Amazon cart. So, if you suggest a book that I may have or will have don’t take offence if I say something that “I have it” or “its on the way” or “its in the cart.” I look forward to all the good reads.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good rest of your evening as well as your week. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans To Fight Off Urges To Isolate

Good Morning, once again, World!!! As depressed as I am with the urge to isolate and doing nothing, I have decided to do the opposite of how I am feeling at the moment. I know that what I am about to tell you what I am going to do may appear simple; they are not so simple for me at the moment.

The first thing I plan on doing is to take a shower. It has been exactly one week since I last took a shower. So, at the moment I feel all gross and grungy which is not a good thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if I stunk to other people because I personally think I stink.

After my shower, I plan on going to Red Robin to eat. I love Red Robin and think I should treat myself to something yummy. I usually get the Whiskey River Bar-Be-Que Burger with extra cheese and onion straws.

When I get home from Red Robin, I will do some laundry. I really need to do laundry as it has been quite some time since I have done laundry. As I do my laundry, I will be reading. Not sure if I will be reading Wonder Woman Comic Books or the novel Yesternight by Cat Winters. I most likely will end up reading both Yesternight and Wonder Woman comic books as I have two loads of laundry to do.

I also have some Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) homework I need to do for DBT group tomorrow. Homework that I should have started after group last week but didn’t. It is my own fault for procrastinating. Maybe I will do some DBT homework while doing laundry.

I do not have much else to say. I just want to say thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Birthday Plans

Good Morning, World!!! As I mentioned in my last three post, today is my 40th birthday. A birthday I never thought I would see. A birthday I am grateful for and plan on celebrating it in a number of ways.

One of the first ways, I plan on celebrating my birthday happens early this afternoon. I plan on starting a new group. Well, not exactly new, but new in a way. Today, the DBT Maintenance Group starts and I figure it is a great way to start my 40’s as well as a way to celebrate my birthday and recovery. I know it is an unusual way to celebrate my birthday but it is much more than celebrating my birthday, it is celebrating my recovery.

Another way I am planing on celebrating my birthday is spending it with friends. In fact my friends are taking me out to dinner. They are taking me to my favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love me some Red Robin. I have been going to Red Robin every year for my birthday since I was thirteen years old. So, that means I have been going to Red Robin for my birthday every year for the last twenty-seven years. I am grateful for my friends for taking me to Red Robin. I am glad I have friends that know me well enough to know that Red Robin is the place I want to be on my birthday.

As far as celebrating with my family, I will be celebrating with them tomorrow (Friday) due to some family member’s work schedule’s. I will be celebrating with my grandpa, dad and two uncles on my dad’s side. I would be celebrating with my mom too if she would be willing to come to Seattle but she is “too scared to drive in Seattle traffic” and I am not about to go to Olympia to celebrate my birthday with my mom especially since she is toxic for me. My family and I are going to a local mom and pop restaurant that I really like going to.

I do not have much more to say in this post. I am hoping to post again later today but not sure how the will be as it is my birthday. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Another Brief Check In

Good Evening, World!!! I had a nice time at a Yule celebration with some friends. We started out our celebration by going to Red Robin to eat. We then went to a friends house where we exchanged gifts and played some games. I love Yule celebrations because it is a celebration where I am not judged like I am at Christmas celebrations.

Before attending the Yule celebration with friends my therapist called me to check in with me to make sure I have a good self care plan in place for the next four days. He will be out of the office on Christmas Eve and well the office is closed on Christmas. I informed him of what my self care plan was he thought it was a “great plan.” I am beyond grateful that I have a therapist that cares about me and check up on me when needed.

As many of you know today is the first day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere which means it is the shortest day of the year. As much as I dislike the shorter days at least I know starting tomorrow (Saturday the 22nd) the days will slowly start getting longer.

I don’t have much to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated especially this time of year. I hope to blog some time tomorrow. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great evening everyone. Happy Solstice and Yule. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Fighting Off Fucking Depression

Good Afternoon, again, World!!! I am still fighting off fucking depression however it is slowing going away with the things I have done so far. I hung out with a friend. We went to Red Robin and had a late lunch, early dinner. We then walked around the mall and ended up getting pictures with Santa Claus. Getting a picture together with Santa was fun.

Even though the holidays bring more depression my way, I am glad I am coming up with new ways to fight off the depression and to start new traditions. My friend and I are going to do the Santa picture every year from now on.

I am now at my volunteer job waiting for five o’clock to come around as that is when my shift start. I only have about fifteen more minutes till my shift starts which is okay with me. I love my volunteer job. I have been at this volunteer job for four years now. It has helped me a great deal with my life and mental health.

Granted my depression is still acting up at the moment but I am glad I have decided to not isolate. Isolation is a persons worst enemy when they have depression. Fighting isolation and depression sucks shit but I am currently doing it at the moment.

I am just realizing this is my third post today. I have not posted multiple times in a day in a very long time. I am grateful that I am utilizing this great coping skill for me. I hope that me blogging helps you my reader.

I do not have much else to say. I hope everyone has an awesome Saturday afternoon and evening. Thank you so very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of this. Have a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Fighting Off Depression & Feeling Horrible About Lying

Good Afternoon, World!!! I was asked if I could work tomorrow night and I said no due to having the flu. Yes, I know that was a lie but, I haven’t been feeling all that well and feel like I am coming down with a cold. In all honesty I don’t feel like working for the individual that wants me to work for them tomorrow because it always appears that I am working for that particular person. So, I told this person a lied saying I have the flu even though I don’t.

I really feel bad for lying to this individual about having the flu but since I feel like I am coming down with the cold and I see my doctor on Tuesday, I can get a doctors not as a precaution. I know lying is bad and it make me feel horrible about myself and it is something I rarely do. I just don’t want to work for this person as they always seem to be the one who needs someone to work for them.

On the plus side this whole ordeal is making me realize even more than usual that this job is not the best fit for me due to the fact that it is an on call position for a graveyard shift. If I had a more regular shift even for a graveyard shift I think I could do the job but since it is an on call position it is difficult for me due to sleep issues that I already have.

Because of this realization I am working on my resume and cover letter to apply to other jobs. Jobs that I will be interested in even if they are not Peer Specialist positions. Most anything with a study schedule in a field that is in the social service field I am cool with.

Even though I am working on job stuff, I have come to realize that my depression has increased a little bit today. Enough to where I don’t want to go to my volunteer job. Even though my depression is acting up I will be going to my volunteer job this evening. Getting out and doing something for others is always helpful for me even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

I might be fighting off depression but at least I am attempting to not isolate by spending time with a friend before I go to my volunteer job as well as going to my volunteer job. My friend and I are going to go have a late lunch early dinner at our favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love Red Robin. Eating at Red Robin with friends is always a good time and helps a good portion of the time.

I do not have much else to say in this post. I do feel really bad about lying to my colleague about having the flu so I don’t have to work tomorrow and hope that I am able to work through lying to them. Other than that I don’t have much else to say. I hope everyone has a good rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Spending Time With Grandpa

Good Evening, World!!! It is ten o’clock at night in my corner of the world. I have been spending time with my grandpa as I am staying the night at his place tonight. We went to Red Robin to have a nice meal with wonderful service. After eating at Red Robin, we came back to my grandpa’s place and I applied for a job.

A part time job as a peer specialist. I was going to apply for my jobs but I got to sleepy to do so, so I feel asleep for about three hours. Sleep that I desperately need. Now that I am up and awake I plan on applying for more jobs as a peer specialist.

I am looking forward to my volunteer job interview with the Seattle Art Museum (SAM) on Thursday. I am looking forward to this because it will help me gain more of a community in the art community. Plus if I get the volunteer job it will look good on the resume’.

No need to worry about Lil Gertie, my cat, as she is being taking care of my a friend of mine who happens to be a neighbor. A friend who is really good with animals. He should be called the animal whisper.

Well, I am going to get going and watch the news. Have a wonderful night everyone. Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!