Mr. Sandman, Where Are You?

Hello, World!!! I am wondering where Mr. Sandman is as I am having another sleepless night here in Seattle. As much as I wish it wasn’t another sleepless night for me, it has been a productive night for me. Even though insomnia sucks, I am grateful for nights that I am able to be productive when the insomnia acts up.

One of the ways that this sleepless night has been productive is me working on my continuing education class on stress management. I am honestly and pleasantly surprised that I am learning so much from the stress management class. I wish I could explain what I am learning but it is challenging for me at times to share what I have learned. I really do like the stress management class I am taking.

Another thing that I have done to keep myself busy tonight due to the lack of sleep is attending twelve-step meetings on Zoom. Attending the twelve-step meeting appear to be of major help to me the last nine days. I am glad to have found out about the particular twelve-step program I have been attending.

After attending three meetings tonight I ended up journaling about them right after each meeting. I am finding out, that journaling about the meeting I just attended right after the meeting quite helpful. I am beyond grateful that with the combination of the twelve-step meetings and journaling have been helpful for me.

I do know have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday ahead of you. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! It’s been very much a sleepless type of night here in Seattle for me. I am not exactly sure why I am unable to sleep especially after taking my sleep meds. Usually, on nights I can’t figure out why I can sleep, I contribute it to my insomnia. Having insomnia sucks shit.

As sucky as not being able to sleep is, it allows me to do things I enjoy and usually have schedule into my day. One of those things is artwork. Tonight the type of artwork I did was coloring. Coloring is very therapeutic and meditative for me.

As I colored, I listened to a podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” “Philosophize This” is a really good podcast and am grateful that I found it on Spotify. I am learning a great deal and am hope to discuss my knowledge with other people.

Something else is that my cat Billie Dean has been by my side and/or on my lap the entire night. Billie even attempted to steal a couple of my colored pencils. Billie is really a good cat and I love him so very much.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me that you read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Good Morning, World!!! I am awake sort of by choice due to needing to sleep during the day to work my last shift at my current employer. See, I work a thirteen hour night shift at my current employer. So, that is why I said, “sort of by choice” regarding sleep. I will miss the folks I work with as well as the clients I serve but I am glad to be leaving because night shifts suck especially such long shift and already having sleep issues.

So far the thing that has helped me stay up tonight was doing some art work. Specifically, coloring. I am coloring. I am coloring some holiday pictures. I love coloring and enjoy being able to color holiday pages. The one I am working on currently is a Hanukkah coloring page. In fact it is currently Hanukkah as we speak. Tonight will be the third night. The Hanukkah page I am coloring is for a friend of mine who celebrates Hanukkah. It is almost finished and I will be able to give it to her on Monday night.

As, I have been coloring I have been listening to a podcast. The podcast is about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” I really enjoy this particular podcast for various reasons. One of which is Steven West does a great job relating the topic of philosophy to his listening. The cool thing is that Steven West lives in the Seattle area.

Of course, Billie Dean, my cat has been quite helpful with keeping me awake so I can sleep during the day. I love Billie so very much. He has helped me so much this past year. I love the fact that Billie is so lovey dovey and very much a lovebug that loves to sleep in my lap. Billie, is such a sweet little kitty.

I do not have much more to write about. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a wonderful Saturday world. Peace Out, World!!!

A Podcast Type of Night

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night in my corner of the world. I am not exactly tired enough to even try to go to bed and sleep. I say this because if I went to bed now, I wouldn’t be able to sleep and sadly, would be tossing and turning. So, instead of trying to go to sleep when I know I won’t be able to, I am blogging as I listen to a podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This.”

“Philosophize This” is one of my favorite podcast. It is the first podcast, I started listening to. In fact, I am trying to catch up to present day episodes. I am really enjoying this podcast as I am learning a great deal about philosophy. I highly recommend listening to “Philosophize This” especially if you enjoy learning from someone who appears to be down to earth just by listening.

Of course as I listen to the podcast, my cat, Billie Dean, is laying right next to me. Billie is an extremely sweet cat. He loves to lay on my lap and is very much a cuddly lap cat. I love him so very much.

I do not have much more to say at the moment. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end that you took the time out of your day to read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Goodnight and don’t the let the bed bugs bite. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! It is almost one o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world of Seattle. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia and it fucking sucks. As much as having insomnia suck, there is a plus side to it at times and tonight is one of those times.

Tonight is one of those times because I get to catch up on a couple of things as my cat, Billie Dean, lays in my lap. Billie is happy as a clam when he is able to be in my lap. Or at least it appears that way to me. I love my cat, Billie so very much.

As Billie, happily lays in my lap I have been catching up on my reading. Specifically, I have been reading Star Wars, Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn. Tonight I have read the first five chapters and am about to start chapter six. Actually, I am debating if I should start chapter six tonight as I am really getting into the book. When I get into a book, I tend to read as much as I can before getting too exhausted to where I am not able to function and really need to get some sleep. Not only to I not sleep, I forget to eat when I am really into a book.

Since I am really, getting into Star Wars, Heir to the Empire and am needing to stop reading for the night, I am going to listen to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I will be listening to Philosophize This as I want to be able to get caught up to present day episode. I really like how Stephen West presents the topic of philosophy which is part of the reason why I really like the podcast. I am learning stuff I wish they would have taught in high school especially since I have not had the luxury to attend college.

Now that you know what I have done tonight and what I am going to do next, I am going to end this particular blog post for now. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I really hope everyone is having a good nights sleep and hope you have a great Tuesday ahead when you wake up. Peace Out, World!!!

Mr. Sandman Never Showed Up

Good Morning, World!!! Apparently, the sandman forgot to stop by my place as I have not been able to sleep. I have been up all night and am grateful for my cat, Billie Dean’s company. Billie has been awesome company since I adopted him in February especially on sleepless night like last night.

Since my last post I watched movies. The movies I watched were under the genre of comedy as I know that humor works great to help me relax. Hopefully, relaxed enough for me to sleep even if it is for a few hours. Anyway, Billie laid on my lap as I watched the movies. I watched Little Miss Sunshine and Ted. I love both movies.

I am going to end this particular blog post in hopes that I can get some sleep. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Wednesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having a challenging time sleeping. I wish I wasn’t having difficulties sleeping but I am. When I can’t sleep I just say that I am Sleepless in Seattle since I live in Seattle and unable to sleep in honor of the movie Sleepless in Seattle. Anyway, not being able to sleep sucks shit.

Since I am unable to sleep, I have been watching late night television. I have watched both Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers. They are both extremely funny men and make late television worth watching. Being able to laugh helps make life a bit easier to live and to deal with the world around us. Something relatively new or at least I think it is new that at 1:30 in the morning a new show comes on with a woman by the name of Lilly Singh and I personally think she is funny as hell. It is also nice to see a person of color on late night television. Just wish she was on earlier. Anyway, just watching late night television helps me just deal with shit when I am unable to sleep. Being able to laugh is quite helpful for me and my mental health.

Besides watching late night television, I have been doing art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I recently received a Day of the Dead coloring book from a friend. I am including a picture of what I colored as I started coloring it tonight and this is how far I have gotten. It is obviously not finished if you are not sight impaired. I love coloring and it helps me relax. Coloring is a type of meditation for me. For those who are sight impaired the picture of what I colored so far is below and I have included a caption with it.

A Day of the Dead coloring page I am coloring. It is not completely colored yet but I am enjoying coloring it.

Besides late night television and coloring, my cat, Billie Dean has been quite helpful for me tonight. Billie is an amazing cat. Normally he would be fighting for space on my lap as I type this blog post but he is sound to sleep on his cat tree. I love Billie so much and am beyond grateful for him. I hope he lives at least another ten years as I want him to live a long life with me. He is a great cat.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post so I am going to end the post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Wednesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Oh How I Wish Mr. Sandman Would Visit

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep at the moment. I do not know why I am unable to sleep but I do have an idea. I suspect the reason why I can not sleep is due to the anxiety I am feeling after the trauma I experienced last week at the hands of a neighbor that lives on my floor. The anxiety is not a fun thing nor is it helpful in helping with sleep. Besides an increase of anxiety, I am also having an increase of PTSD symptoms. PTSD sucks shit.

On a plus note, Billie Dean, my cat is being quite helpful in regards to both the anxiety and PTSD. Having Billie as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has been quite helpful in my recovery. In fact when I had Lil Gertie as a cat before she crossed over the rainbow bridge, I realize how helpful she was as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA). If it wasn’t for the suggestion of my last therapist of getting a cat as an ESA, I wouldn’t have ever gotten Lil Gertie or Billie. After realizing how helpful Lil Gertie was for my recovery, I knew that having another cat as an ESA would be beneficial to me and my mental health recovery. Billie is doing an amazing job as my ESA, just like Lil Gertie did.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post so I am going to end my post. I want to thank you very much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, I want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

At Odds With Myself on How to Help Someone I Graduated High School With

Good Morning, World!!! I am still unable to sleep for some reason. Since I have know idea of why I can’t sleep, I am not going to fret about it. It is most likely, as my psychiatric nurse practitioner says, “treatment resistant insomnia.” Weather it is insomnia or poor sleep hygiene or being off kilter from my job working nights, I can’t sleep.

Since I have not been able to sleep, one of the things I have been doing is scrolling Facebook. As I was scrolling Facebook, someone I went to high school with messaged me privately. This person isn’t exactly a friend but is on my friends list.

Anyway, this friend was born into wealth and finds themselves at odds with their parents. Since they are at odds with their parents and has no job, they are now trying to figure out how to live the life they are use to. I guess their parents have “cut them off” from their trust fund until they are able to live on their own with the help of their parents for two years. My friend really hasn’t held down a job and their parents paid for everything including all their bills. We have been out of high school for twenty plus years and they have not learned how to fend for themselves. This “friend” reached out to me because they know I “know how to live poor” since have lived in poverty most of my life.

I asked my friend if they have a place to stay. My friend said they can stay at their parents place till the end of the year as long as they pay one hundred dollars month for rent and get a job to save up money to get their own place to live. I gave this friend suggestions on the types of jobs they may be able to get during this time and they turned down every suggestion. I also gave them numbers to certain agencies to be able to get food stamps and such. I even offered to go to the nearest DSHS office with them when they open up. My “friend” said “no, it will be an embarrassment if I go near my parents house especially with you.” I informed them out the system worked and that if they want help they need to learn how to deal with the “embarrassment.” This friend stated “I don’t need any freebies. I just need my parents to give me my trust fund money and then I won’t have to depend on the government like you do.” I got upset by this and informed them that as soon as they are ready for my help then don’t hesitate to reach out. I realized that this person just wanted someone to empathize with them and tell them what they want to hear. I have some empathy for this person but I am not going to tell them what they want to hear.

I am at odds with myself as if I should have even offered up my assistance to help this person when they realize what needs to be done to take care of themselves. I am at odds because I can see this as a possible toxic relationship and me carrying the weight of this person. I want to help but I don’t know if this person will ever realize they are responsible for themselves as they have been spoiled their entire lives and taken care of by their parents. I am feeling like I am being judgement of this person and their family and it has me feeling bad about myself. But then again, this person was extremely judgmental for me in high school due to me living in poverty. Anyway, that shouldn’t be the reason I am so judgmental of the person.

I have plenty more to say about the above topic but I am getting angry over the situation and need to stop for now. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you are reading my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has great Tuesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

A Before I Leave for Work Post

Good Evening, World!!! I am up for the day and mostly ready for work. Overall, I slept pretty well. Even though I woke up earlier than I would have liked at least I know I woke up naturally and not by rude and noisy neighbors. In fact this was the first Saturday that I was not woken up by the same two loud and noisy neighbors on the patio in about a month. Just grateful to not be woken up so rudely.

As I type this blog post, my cat, Billie Dean is laying in my lap. I love the fact that he is in my lap at moment because my anxiety is high at the moment. Also, another reason I love the fact he is in my lap is that I won’t be able have cuddle time with him tonight due to the fact I’ll be at work for more that twelve hours.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!