Anxiety & Fear Over My Dad

Good Evening, World!!! I am not going to work tonight because my dad is in the hospital. Sadly, he was moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), early this morning because he has fluid on the lungs and maybe around the heart. Even though the emergency surgery went well, the fluid around the lungs is never a good thing especially with my dads history of pneumonia. It was five years ago at this time of year where he was give a very slim chance of living due to his pneumonia but thankfully he is a live. I just wish his health was better at the moment. At least he is not on life support and wanting to go home.

Even though I am not sitting at the hospital with my dad at the moment, I just wanted to make sure that if health were to take the turn for the worst that I am able to have the availability to get to the hospital. That is part of the reason why I chose to get someone to cover my shift at work tonight. I am grateful that I was able to have a colleague cover my shift.

Due to my dad’s health and him being in the ICU my anxiety is up and my fear of him being put a ventilator is extremely high at the moment. The fear and anxiety I am having, my cat, Lil Gertie, is picking up on. When I have been home she as been by my side or on my chest to comfort me.  Being comforted by my cat has been a great help to me and has lessened my anxiety and fear.

Not only is my cat, Lil Gertie, comforting me but I am having friends checking in on me. Having friends checking in on me is always a good thing. In fact a friend of mine even brought me lunch when I was at the hospital visiting my dad. It is great that I have friends that check up on me.

My family has be pulling together in regards to my dad’s health. My grandpa and two uncles who are my dad’s dad and two brothers have been taking turns at the hospital. My grandpa and two uncles have been a great support. They are just as worried about my dad as I am. Having family support and the support of my friends has been great for me.

I wish I was able to get some sleep today but sadly I have not been able to nap. I didn’t sleep well last night due to insomnia and I think I have been unable to nap today due to my dad’s health and him being in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at the hospital. I think I am going to go to bed early tonight as I need some sleep. Sleep is crucial to one health and I don’t want to get sick especially since my dad is ill.

I do not much more to say. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

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A Sleepless Night

Good Morning, World!!! According to my computer it is 2:34 in the morning in my corner of the world. I am unable to sleep despite trying everything I could before needing to take my sleep meds. In fact my sleep med is Ambien and I am just waiting for it to kick in so I can go to sleep. Having insomnia suck shit. Normally, I wouldn’t mind not being able to sleep on a Friday night / Saturday morning because that would mean I could sleep all day on Saturday so I could stay awake during my twelve hour night shift on Saturday nights for work. But I am not working Saturday due to the fact my dad is in the hospital because of an emergency surgery. I just wish I didn’t have insomnia. I really hope my Ambien hurries up and kicks in.

I have been coloring most of the night. Coloring has been quite helpful for me and my recovery with mental health challenges. It is the one type of art that I can take with me so when things get challenging I can just pull it out and color. Coloring is the one thing I never stopped doing from childhood.

Most of the night as I colored I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am learning a great deal about both philosophy and history from the philosophy podcast. I am really enjoy the podcast. I highly recommend the philosophy podcast; Philosophize This. I personally like it.

As much as I love listening to the podcast Philosophize This about philosophy, I had to stop listening to it as I was coloring because my mind was starting to get on learning overload. I love the podcast and will continue to listen to it but I need to take a break from it for a few hours so when I go back to coloring I will listen to music. Hell, I am listening to music as I write this blog post. In fact I am listening to Tori Amos and Nirvana. I just wish my Ambien would kick in because I really want to sleep.

Since my Ambien isn’t kicking in yet, I will end this post for now to go back to coloring and continue to listen to the music of Tori Amos and Nirvana. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!