Not wanting to be a Cranky Bucket at Work

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep again. I don’t think not going into work isn’t an option at the moment as the clients I have today are struggling with some minor crisis. I need to find someway to get somewhat of a better night of sleep.

One of those ways is to take a sleeping pill but sadly it makes me groggy but at least the grogginess at least goes away with time but not quick enough. I really don’t want to be a cranky bucket at work. I also don’t want to call in sick due to the lack of sleep. I really love my job. My job means the world to me.

On the plus note at least my cat has been extra lovely Dovey with me. Billie Dean is an amazing cat and I love him so much. I may have rescued him but I think he was and is the one doing the rescuing of me. Billie is really a great lap cat and helps me not be a cranky bucket when I have to start work at eight in the morning Seattle time.

I am thinking I might have to take a my sleeping meds so I can get some sleep so I am not a cranky bucket at work. I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog post. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader for reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart from reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Random Post About Nothing in Particular

Good Late Evening, World!!! As much as I love my job and the work I do, today was a rough day for me. It was a rough day because two clients I had appointments with today, had experienced someone close to them die by suicide within the last couple of days. It’s never easy dealing with loosing somebody close to you to suicide. I did what I could to help my clients and I personally experienced some secondary trauma from hearing both of my clients experience. Its not easy especially when you have experienced similar traumas as the clients. The best I could do was listen and I personally don’t think that is enough but in these cases is enough.

Something that I did was reach out to my therapist to help me with the dialog I was having in my head about my clients as well as the dialog I am having about quitting wanting quit my meds. I’m not going to stop my meds but wanted my therapist to know. I also have a couple of support friends who are a part of my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) who know about the meds. I am feeling supported by my friends and therapist and the love they give me.

My cat Billie Dean is of course loving on me as he picks up the stuff I am dealing with. Billie is the sweetest lap cat one can have. I am blessed to have Billie in my life as he loves me and gives me the hope to live just like my friends. Billie is an amazing cat and I love him so much for his unconditional love me.

Another thing that is a part for my WRAP is mindfulness by myself as well as with my clients.. Mindfulness helps me greatly

I don’t have much more say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again thank you for reading my block. I hope you have a good night of sleep. Peace OUt, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Get meds
  • Clean apartment

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Coffee/Tea with friend
  • Work

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Therapy appointment with therapist
  • Med appointment with psychiatrist nurse practitioner
  • Work

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Ā Dinner with grandpa

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Dinner with a friend

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Work
  • Dinner by myself at Red Robin

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Clean apartment

Therapy + Infected Toe + Urgent Care +Migraine + Vomiting + A Loving Kitty = Moments of Gratitude & Good Self Care

Good afternoon, World. I will be showing you a picture of my infected left big tow. It hurts like hell but at least its not an ingrown toenail that is infected. The doctor at urgent care says I don’t have an ingrown toenail. The doctor says the infection is most likely caused due to a recent hang nail. As much as it hurts like hell, I took the day off yesterday. The picture below is the the picture of my left foot showing you the big toe infection. I did put a caption with it for those reader who are sight impaired.

Infected big toe on left foot.

I did go to urgent can and was able get a note for missing work yesterday. Sadly, I didn’t really that the medicine of antibiotics are making me nauseas and makes me vomit if I don’t eat something with it. Due to that reason, my employer won’t allow me to come into work today or tomorrow as a precautionary thing just in case it is Covid-19 when I know it is not. But better to make sure even if it is the medicine the doctor proscribed me. Not anyone’s fault the the med makes me sick if I don’t eat with it. That is why I am going to get a doctor’s note for today and tomorrow as a precaution.

I am grateful that my job is so cool with making sure we make sure we do good self care. In fact the med is giving me a migraine as well as the vomiting which sucks but I know what I need to do to take care of myself.

Speaking of taking care of myself I saw my therapist yesterday before I went to urgent care and she agreed going to urgent care is a form of self care. My therapist is amazing and supports my decision as how can I help others affectively if I am not taking care of myself. She has a really good point.

Since she has a good point I contacted my primary care doctor to write a note for me missing work for today and tomorrow. so I can get a note.

On that note I am doing some good self care by reading, coloring and of course spending time with my Cat Billie Dean. Billie, appears to be loving it as I am. I love my cat and the weather outside cant make up its mind at the mind. I will go and take a walk later even if it is only for 5 minutes.

I don’t have much more to say. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you have a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Arrive home from my last shift of the homeless shelter I work at.
  • Spend time with my cat, Billie Dean
  • Mindfulness and Meditation.
  • Take a nap.
  • Do laundry.

Monday

  • Mindfulness and Meditation.
  • Take my cat Billie to the vet to get his vaccines.
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness and Meditation.
  • Therapy
  • Clean apartment.
  • Get meds.

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness and Meditation.
  • Start new job.

Thursday

  • Mindfulness and Meditation.
  • Work.

Friday

  • Mindfulness and Meditation.
  • Work.

Saturday

  • Mindfulness and Meditation.
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Chill out.

June Gloom = A Blah Type of Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is a typical Seattle June Gloom type of day. With the June Gloom day and how I am feeling, it is a blah type of day. It is a type of day where I need to be aware of how I am doing as days like this can easily turn into days where my depression acts up. I do think that days like today are needed from time to time. Sometimes days like today are meant to be lazy type of days.

Earlier today, I had a phone session with my psychiatric nurse practitioner (ANRP) and we discuss things that have been going on in my life and meds. My psychiatric nurse practitioner is a sweet woman and am greatly appreciative of her and how she listens. She increase the dosing of my sleep med in hopes of helping me sleep. I also now see her every six week instead of every four weeks which means she thinks I am doing better and I agree with her assessment.

After my appointment I went to pick up my meds from the pharmacy. I had a great conversation with the pharmacist who is awesome and on top of their game. After getting my meds, I went to the Amazon locker where my package was delivered to, to pick it up. Getting out of the apartment to do these two errands helped my mood a great deal.

Since getting home from my two errands, I have been doing some art work while listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am coloring as I listen to the podcast, Philosophize This. Coloring and listening to Philosophize This has been quite relaxing for me. Of course, my cat, Billie Dean has been “helping” me with my coloring and he appears to be enjoying listening to Philosophize This. Spending time with my cat, Billie while doing things I enjoy is a great way to spend my day.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Tuesday. I also hope everyone has a great rest of their week with whatever you are doing. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Get off work
  • Spend time with my cat Billie Dean
  • Take a nap
  • Work on a workbook or two
  • Do mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Do art work. (Most likely coloring)

Monday

  • Do mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Walk through local parks
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a workbook or two
  • Do laundry
  • Do some form of art work (Most likely coloring)

Tuesday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Phone session with my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner for a med review
  • Get my meds
  • Clean my apartment
  • Do a workbook or two
  • Do some coloring as I am coloring something for my therapist

Wednesday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Have an in person appointment with my therapist
  • Do some coloring as I am coloring something for my therapist.
  • Work on a workbook or two

Thursday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Clean my apartment
  • Do some coloring as I am coloring stuff for people
  • Work on a workbook or two

Friday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Do some coloring
  • Work on a workbook or two.

Saturday

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

Snow, Snow Go Away

Good Evening, World!!! It is snowing here in Seattle and I want the snow to go away. I personally don’t like the snow as it means it is way too cold outside for me. I am originally from Southern California and have never been a fan of snow. I have gotten use to the dreary weather here in Seattle but I don’t think I can ever get use to snow and colder weather.

The only thing I had to do today was go get my meds. Thankfully, I all I needed to get to the pharmacy was use my own two feet as my pharmacy is within walking distance for me. I wish I didn’t have to pick up my meds twice a week and completely understand why I have to. I am hoping my psychiatric nurse practitioner will change back to weeklies. I would prefer monthly but will be okay with weekly.

Even though I didn’t have to volunteer today, I did so as I was asked to come in as they were short handed due to the snow and I live in walking distance of PAWS Cat City so it was easy for me to get there. There is only one cat a Cat City at the moment so I basically cleaned and spent time with the only kitty. The cat is a senior kitty and is sweet as sweet can be. My regular shift is tomorrow and am looking forward to it.

Other than getting my meds and happily volunteering unexpectedly, I read. I started reading a book that I started reading a while ago but never finished. So, I started from the beginning and am hoping to finish it by the time Emerald City Comic-con happens as the author is going to be there. I love reading and comic-cons and how the can be combined.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank everyone for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone in the Seattle area stays safe during this snow. Peace Out, World!!!

An Ambien is Starting to Kick In Post

Good Morning, World!!! It is just after six o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world. As most of the world slept last night, I was up all night so I can sleep all day today. I will be sleeping all day today due to the fact that I work a twelve and a half hour shift tonight. I like what I do for the most part but do not like the fact that it is a night shift. I am grateful to have a job even though it is extremely part time.

I am hoping to be able to get to sleep soon. Actually, I think I will be able to get to sleep soon because I think the Ambien is finally starting to kick in. I wish I didn’t need Ambien to help me sleep but due insomnia, I do. I highly dislike having insomnia. It sucks shit.

I think I should get going since my sleeping meds are starting to kick in. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday as I sleep the day away. I also hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

 

A Sleepless Night

Good Morning, World!!! According to my computer it is 2:34 in the morning in my corner of the world. I am unable to sleep despite trying everything I could before needing to take my sleep meds. In fact my sleep med is Ambien and I am just waiting for it to kick in so I can go to sleep. Having insomnia suck shit. Normally, I wouldn’t mind not being able to sleep on a Friday night / Saturday morning because that would mean I could sleep all day on Saturday so I could stay awake during my twelve hour night shift on Saturday nights for work. But I am not working Saturday due to the fact my dad is in the hospital because of an emergency surgery. I just wish I didn’t have insomnia. I really hope my Ambien hurries up and kicks in.

I have been coloring most of the night. Coloring has been quite helpful for me and my recovery with mental health challenges. It is the one type of art that I can take with me so when things get challenging I can just pull it out and color. Coloring is the one thing I never stopped doing from childhood.

Most of the night as I colored I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am learning a great deal about both philosophy and history from the philosophy podcast. I am really enjoy the podcast. I highly recommend the philosophy podcast; Philosophize This. I personally like it.

As much as I love listening to the podcast Philosophize This about philosophy, I had to stop listening to it as I was coloring because my mind was starting to get on learning overload. I love the podcast and will continue to listen to it but I need to take a break from it for a few hours so when I go back to coloring I will listen to music. Hell, I am listening to music as I write this blog post. In fact I am listening to Tori Amos and Nirvana. I just wish my Ambien would kick in because I really want to sleep.

Since my Ambien isn’t kicking in yet, I will end this post for now to go back to coloring and continue to listen to the music of Tori Amos and Nirvana. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!