Sort of; Kind of; Attempting to Be Recovery Minded; but Maybe Not; You Read to Figure Out What I’m Going to Say

I am having difficult time writing this particular post for unknown reasons. Or at least reasons that I truthfully don’t want to share however I know if I do share then maybe just maybe my words can help someone.

Right now I feel like my world is ending and I have no hope in sight despite the fact that I have people who love and care about me. Not many people realize this but my depression symptoms are starting to increase now that I don’t have a job to go to. This is why I was so worried about making the decision about resigning from my beloved job as peer specialist. I also know that I made the decision with the help of others because, I need to focus on my own recovery. Resigning from a job I love with a passion was the most difficult decisions I made because I knew if I didn’t I would be soon in an extremely bad space soon.  I need to focus on my recovery right now so when I am in a space I can go back to work I will be able to do so but I will be a stronger person out of it.  And maybe a job that more suited for me.

In the midst of dealing with the recent job loss due to me resigning from it, I have gotten a new therapist. I think I’m going to like her. I feel like it went off really well despite some awkward moments. I hope she can pick up on the shit the Diana did and use the humor and sarcasm that both Diana  and her supervisor both used with me before they left the agency. My new therapist has some pretty big shoes to fill and I know that is expecting too much. She seems nice enough. I just hope the she is able to pick up on the little stuff. Stuff my last two therapist pick up on quite quickly.

Speaking picking up on something quickly, my case manager picked up on some body language and brought up to me. She wanted to know what was going on. I of coursed informed her of what was going on. She stated she was “happy that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to me.” I’m really starting to trust my case manager. She is even coloring with me in our sessions together.

I’m thinking that I should end this post for now so I can figure out what I want to say or maybe just leave it as is. It’s ending on a positive note.  PEACE OUT!!!