Still Struggling but Doing Better

Good Evening, World. It is almost ten o’clock on a Sunday night here in rainy Seattle. I feel like the rain fits my current mood of being depressed. On that note, it feel like the depression is lifting a little bit which is a really good thing.

Sadly, I did not go to my volunteer job at PAWS Cat City this morning because I did not get much sleep last night. It felt like I didn’t getting any sleep but I’m sure I got some sleep; sort of like cat naps or I would have most likely slept all day today if I got absolutely no sleep last night.

I’ve been lucky today as I had some of my support system help me out today. My uncle and grandpa came over with some breakfast. After we ate breakfast, my uncle and grandpa helped me a little bit with cleaning my apartment. It’s still a disaster area but at least you can tell there is some improvement.

After my family helped me with my apartment, I decided to turn on my music and play it very loudly. So, loud I will be surprised if one of my neighbor don’t complain to the apartment management. On that note, while having my music on full blast, decided to do some art work. The type of art work I did was coloring. I love to color and was able to finish the piece I was coloring to give to a friend who is a neighbor and live in my apartment building.

So, I went up to my friends apartment who is a neighbor and gave him my finished coloring piece I colored for him. In fact his music was on blast as well. He was also doing some art work except he was painting. In fact he allowed me to add to his painting which I found cool that he let me help him with this painting.

When I came back from my friends apartment, I decided to binge watch a couple of television shows on Netflix and Hulu. Of course, Billie Dean, my cat sat on my lap as I binged watched television shows. I love my cat so very much. He is a very sweet and loving kitty. He is also very much a lap kitty which is great especially when my depression is acting up.

As far as the Everyday Inspiration course I am taking through WordPress, I plan on continuing the course where I last left off. I really enjoy taking this course. It helps me stay focused on blogging. It also helps me keep you the reader more interested in my blog or at least that is my hope in what it does.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you, the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Wishing the Depression Would Disappear

Hello, World!!! It is late Friday evening, In fact it is almost on eleven at night on Friday. I went to work today and that went fine and dandy despite the depression and anxiety would go away. I love my job and am grateful for it. I just wish Depression and Anxiety wouldn’t get in the way of my job but at least I am still able to work and do an okay job at it. Of course when I got home from work Billie Dean greeted me at the door which helped with the depression and anxiety

When I got home I spent time doing some art while listening to music. Specifically the type of art work I was doing was coloring. I was doing some coloring of some morbid coloring books while listening to YungBlud and Nirvana. I love doing art while listening to music. As I was coloring and listening to music, Billie of course was trying to “help” me do my art work by coloring.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope to start back to Everyday Inspiration course tomorrow (Saturday). I really want to finish the course. Again, thank from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

Can’t Sleep & Slightly Depressed

Good Early Morning, World!!! It is a few minutes after two o’clock in the morning here is in Seattle. I am unable to sleep and I am slightly depressed most likely due to the lack of sleep tonight and last night. The lack of helps play into the increase of depression symptoms which sucks shit.

Billie Dean, my cat has been helping my depression a great deal. He has been by my side all day and night with couple of exceptions when he was eating, drinking water or using the litterbox. Having Billie not leave my side has been quite helpful to my depression

Another thing that has been helpful is doing some art work. In fact the type of art work I have been doing is coloring. As I have been coloring, I have going back and forth listening to a podcast on philosophy and music. Coloring while listening to a philosophy podcast or music has helped my depression decrease just like having my cat Billie by my side.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check In

Good Evening, World!!! It is another weekend and it’s Saturday. Saturdays are the day I have chosen to do my weekly check ins with you my reader since Saturdays are technically the last day of the week according to most calendars.

I do not have much to check in about this week. Overall, work went well this week. Art group at work went really well and if felt really productive. Or at least more productive this past Monday than in the recent past. I think doing art group is one of my favorite parts of my job. I love my job and being able to help clients where they are at.

On the friend front, I went and hung out with a good friend of mine yesterday (Friday) evening. We went out to dinner. We of course went to our favorite restaurant, Red Robin. I love Red Robin so much that I ended up getting six gift cards for Red Robin for Christmas totaling one hundred fifty dollars. My friends and family know me well when it comes to my favorite restaurant of Red Robin.

As far as family goes is I went to my grandpa’s house today. I did some of my laundry which is nice because I don’t have to pay for it like I do in my apartment building. One of my uncles made some enchilada’s for dinner. Boy was is good. I love spending time with my family. My grandpa also took me to renew my driver license today. We waited nearly three hours which sucked but at least I got to spend time with my grandpa.

Now that I am home for the remainder or the weekend with a couple of exceptions, I am spending some much needed time with my cat Billie Dean. Billie has helped me quite a bit this week when I’ve been home. My PTSD has been acting up and Billie know exactly what to do and he didn’t need any training. When I haven’t been working from home, I’ve been spending time with Billie as well as doing artwork while listening to music very loudly. In fact the artwork I have been doing is coloring. I’ve been coloring to some pretty awesome music. In fact, I’ve listened to MxPx, ACDC, Guns & Roses and Twisted Sister. It’s been one of them weeks where I needed some very loud music.

I do not have much more to say in this particular post. I do, however, want to thank you the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Burnout is Real; Mental Health Day off From a Job I Love

Good Morning, World!!! I am starting to feel some burn out on my much loved job. My work colleagues, the supervisors and the leadership team are supportive of me taking off time for my mental health as well as the burnout I am slightly feeling at the moment which I am grateful for because they have my back just like my colleagues do.

So, I am planning on doing a day of self care today. That would include reading books and of course comic books are included in that list. I love me some science fiction and fantasy books as well as some pretty awesome comic books.

Another thing I plan on doing is some art work. Specifically, the art I will be doing is some coloring. While I color, I either listen to some music whichever genre fits my mood at the time or listen to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, if I listen to a philosophy podcast as I color, I listen to “Philosophize This” which is an awesome podcast.

I am hoping doing this self care mental health day off will help with my slight burnout. I am grateful for a supportive employer. My employer is so awesome.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post except it was nice to sleep in. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Cat Cuddles while Doing Artwork while Listening to Podcast and Music

Hello, World!!! this is going to be a short complaining post as I can not sleep here in my corner of the world known as Seattle. I am not sure why I can not sleep but I am have been doing things to help me relax so I can get to sleep.

I did some artwork by coloring. While I colored I listened to an episode of a podcast about philosophy. After listening to the podcast on philosophy,, I decided to listen to my childhood memories playlist as I did artwork my coloring. It cheered me up a great deal.

Of course getting snuggles from my cat Billie Dean is always a plus when I do creative work. I love my cat Billie so much and his unconditional love for me.

I am too tired to continue to writer. I hope everyone has a great night of sleep a head of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Taking a Sick Day

Good Morning, World!!! Even though I don’t start work till 12:00noon my time which is Seattle time, I called into work sick. On days I don’t start till 12:00noon my time, I take the time to call my clients so it’s doesn’t cause the administrative assistant staff more work to do especially on a Monday. Not only does it make it easier for the admin staff but I realized if I reached out to the clients myself, I don’t have to use that time as “sick time.” Weather or not I get paid to call and cancel on my clients due to illness, I would still do it to especially on Mondays to help my colleagues out.

On a similar note, my supervisor gets “humorously annoyed” (her words, not mine) on how I call in sick. I text as well as call her cell phone (leaving her a voicemail if she doesn’t answer), email her (and HR) and call her on her office number (leaving a voicemail if she doesn’t answer). She is “humorously annoyed” because yes it is somewhat annoying but she finds it humorous because she appreciates the fact that I make sure she finds out some how since technology can be known to not work or do what it is suppose to when it is needed to do so. I technology at work tends to “misbehave” at the worst of the worst times. She does appreciate that I make the extra effort to make sure she is aware.

On to the next thing. Since I am not feeling well, my grandpa made homemade chicken soup yesterday since my uncle wasn’t feeling well. My grandpa just like he does quite frequently makes too much food. So, grandpa will bringing me some homemade chicken soup when he goes to the V.A to get his prescriptions since my home is on the way to the V.A. I love the fact that my 91 year old grandpa is still active. Not only is he more active that myself and the rest of the family, he is more healthy than the rest of the family.

Part of the reason why I am out sick is because my depression and anxiety are both acting up. That usually means that I get digestive problem which sucks. As sucky as it is at least I know I won’t vomit nor have digestive issues with my grandpa’s homemade soup. Soup that he learned to make from my grandma who who sadly passed away four year ago this Valentines day.

On another note, since I am not feeling well, I will be doing some art work. Specifically, I will be coloring. I hope to show you updates of what I color. It all depends if I remember to do so as well as how I am feeling at the moment. While coloring I will be listening to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. The name of the podcast I will be listing to is “Philosophize This.” I really enjoy this particular podcast.

As much as I dislike being sick, I am grateful for the extra attention my cat Billie Dean gives me. Billie is a love bug even when I am not sick but tends to be more of one when I am sick. I love my cat so much and am grateful for the unconditional love he gives me even though I don’t deserve especially when I don’t give him the attention at the exact times he wants or needs it due to being busy.

I personally think the Seattle weather is okay enough to try to take Billie for a walk outside on his leash if he tolerates it. It’s the leash and harness he tolerates but its the outside he doesn’t tolerate. The thing is he tolerates the outside in his carrier so the vet and I think he needs to feel secure or a sense of safety when outside. So we came up with a training plan regarding outside time on the harness and leash.

I don’t have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it were not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writer my blog. Again, than you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have a great day ahead of you as well as great work week ahead of you. I truly appreciate you for reading my blog as it means the world to me that you read it. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you have a great Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

Apparently, Mr. Sandman Forgot to Stop by My Place

Good Saturday, Morning, World!!! It is five zero four (5:04) in the blasted morning here in Seattle area. In fact as I looked out the window it is currently foggy outside. In all honesty, I wish I was able to sleep despite liking fog when I don’t have to be out in it.

As far as my cat, Billie Dean, he is sound asleep. Something I wish I was doing at the moment. Sadly, Mr. Sandman forgot to stop by my place so I could get some sleep. I just would like to sleep a solid eight hours, preferably at night. I am however grateful that Billie, my cat, is still asleep or he would most likely be wanting to play. And as much I as enjoy playing with Billie, I am just way too tired to play with him at the moment which is why I am glad he is sound asleep.

Since I haven’t been able to sleep I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am listening to the podcast Philosophize This.” Of course as I listen to this podcast, I am coloring. In fact I am coloring the creepy, morbid Disney Horror coloring book that I ordered off of Amazon. I’m hopingo to show you updates on the pictures I am coloring.

I do not have very much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless Time of Night in Seattle

Good Very Early in the Morning from my corner of the world known as Seattle!!! I am not really sure why I am unable to sleep tonight but it is frustrating as hell. I have been doing both coping skills as well as doing self care. They are helping a little bit but not as much as I wish they would help.

One of the things I have been dealing with is increased anxiety , PTSD and depression which sucks shit especially when they all decide to come all at once. One of things that appear to be helping it doing mindfulness meditation practices. It helps me stay grounded.

Another thing that helps me stay grounded in my so very smart kitty, Billie Dean. He seams to know when I need the extra support and makes sure I don’t leave his site. Oh how I love Billie and the connection we have. I am so grateful that he chose me. He is a great cat and am glad he is my cat.

Something else I have been doing it coloring. No, I am not coloring the Disney horror coloring book at the moment. I am coloring a coloring page I got from Stuff2Color.com. They have some awesome coloring pictures. In fact a colored one for my grandpa and framed it. I gave it to him for Christmas. He was happy about it and put it up on the wall for all to see.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

Not Sorry About My Not So Rated G Post

Good Very Early Morning, World!!! Or at least it’s very early in the morning here in my corner of the world, known as Seattle. Apparently, some readers got offended by my last post regarding coloring a morbid coloring book that is all Disney characters. I received an email from WordPress that it disturbed some of my readers but it doesn’t break any rules or community standards. All they wanted was me to put a “Trigger Warning” at the beginning of the post. I totally understand about getting triggered by things and when I do, I talk with my mental health treatment team as well as other who are in recovery. I also use the skills I learned through therapy when I am triggered. Am I sorry the post triggered other, no not really. I feel bad that I triggered others but I’m not sorry about it as it could be a way for people to learn to cope by using coping skill that help them. For me coloring this coloring book is a way for me to heal from some things that are Disney related. For me coloring and doing a morbid coloring book is a form of self care and healing for me.

As far a the morbid Disney coloring book, it appears that my cat, Billie would like to help with me at times. He doesn’t seem bothered by the morbid Disney coloring book. I love my cat and how he likes my morbid sense of humor.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading it. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader read my blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It means a great deal to me that you read my blog. Peace Out, World!!!