Just a Post About Dealing with Depression

Hello, World!!! For some reason my depression has decided to rear its ugly head. Yes, I have been feeling a little meh lately but part of that is due to the isolation this stupid pandemic put us in. The depression I am experiencing is not the meh feeling have been dealing with. The depression I am feeling, feels like the typical depression I experience which sucks but at least it is something I am aware of. Being aware of it is helpful as I know what I can do to help fight it off or least not make it worse.

Honestly, the weather sort of fits my mood but at least I know its not the weather causing my depression or at least not adding to it. Right now it is raining in Seattle. Actually it is the normal Seattle mist type of rain. I have been wanting this weather due to the poor air quality due to all the wild fires that are happening. Plus this weather is letting me wear my flannels and I love my flannels.

I am hoping the weather last as I love to be able to have an excuse to stay home with my cat, Billie Dean. I am so grateful for the unconditional love that Billie gives me. He has helped a great deal with my depression.

Billie not only helps with my depression, he also tries to help me with my art work. Tonight the genre of art work I have been doing is coloring. Billie has been laying on the picture I have been coloring or trying to bite the colored pencil I would use. I take it he just wants to help.

As I colored to help with the depression, I also listened to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is called Philosophize This. In fact, Steven West, the podcaster of Philosophize This is from Seattle which I personally think is cool since I live in Seattle. Anyway, I really enjoy Philosophize This and learning about philosophy.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank each one of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Much Needed Time Away

Hello, World!!! It is ten fifteen at night in my corner of the world. Currently, I am in Bremerton, Washington. I decided to take a ferry here from Seattle and stay the night. As much as I love living in Seattle, sometimes city life can get a bit overwhelming so I am staying the night in a hotel on Bremerton’s waterfront.

Even though I am only going to be gone tonight, I am having a neighbor who has become a good friend look in on my cat, Billie Dean. Yes, I realize Billie will be okay with me just being gone overnight, I just wanted to make sure nothing happens. Plus my neighbor really likes Billie. I know from becoming friends with my neighbor that he really loves cats and it always brightens his day when I take Billie to say hi to him. So, having my neighbor check on Billie not only eases my mind but helps this good friend.

I know what I have done here in Bremerton is something I could do at home however just getting a break from the everyday things is helpful. One of the things I have done is read. I am reading a Star Wars book. A book that has me very engrossed and engaged. I read the Star Wars book outside for about an hour on Bremerton’s waterfront and enjoyed every minute of it.

After reading, I went out to dinner which was nice. The food at the restaurant, I went to was great which is why I went. Every time I come to Bremerton, I try to eat at the restaurant I at tonight. I highly recommend Bremerton Bar and Grill if you are ever in Bremerton, Washington.

Once I got back to my hotel room after eating dinner, I decided to do some art work. Actually, the type of art I did was color. Coloring is more portable than other forms of art or at least for me it is. I love to color and it helps me get into a positive state of mind.

As I was coloring I decided to listen to one of my favorite podcast on the subject of philosophy. The podcast I listened to as I colored was Philosophize This. The way the podcaster, Stephen West discusses philosophy makes the subject interesting and easy to comprehend. Or at least that is my person opinion of Philosophize This.

I do not have much more to talk about in this blog post except that I really needed this time away and miss my cat, Billie. Before, I end the post, I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciative that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday night. I also hope you all get a good night of sleep. Good Night and Peace Out, World. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

Combating Depression

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am feeling slightly depressed. I am not exactly sure why my depression symptoms are acting up but they are. Depression sucks just like any mental health diagnosis. I just wish it didn’t exist but it does.

Right now, the things that appear to be helping seem to be so basic to those who don’t struggle with a mental health challenge. Sometimes its the simple and most basic things in life that are the most helpful. Or at least helpful for me.

For me one of the first basic things I do is take care of my cat, Billie Dean. First, I feed Billie. After feeding Billie, I then do the first of two daily cleanings of his litter box. After Billie is done eating and the litter box gets cleaned out, I then put on Billie’s new harness and leash on him and we go for a walk in the second floor hallway and the first floor common areas such as the lobby and community room. Billie appears to be scared when outside and most likely due to the freeway noise and hoping that with brief outside moments will help but I will not force it unless there is an emergency like the fire alarm going off. Billie really does like to explore and smell everything. Taking care of Billie and his needs helps me take care of myself.

Another basic thing I do for myself is to do art work. Today, the type of art work I have been doing is coloring. Yes, I know it seems quite basic and some might even call it “childish” but I don’t care as it helps me deal with things such as my depression. There is something calming and meditative about coloring. I enjoy coloring a great deal as it is one of the most simplest art forms there is to express yourself.

As I colored, I listened to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I listened to Philosophize This by Stephen West. In fact Philosophize This is the first podcast I ever started listening to. I started listening to it on Spotify and still listen to it. I enjoy listening to it and how Stephen West presents Philosophy. He makes philosophy to understand and puts it into simple term. Another thing is that he is from Seattle which I find cool especially since I live in Seattle.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciative that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. I also hope everyone has a great week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Frustration With Depression

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am frustrated. I am frustrated with depression symptoms creeping in especially since I have had a relatively okay type of day. I am grateful for the things that I have done today.

The things that have been helping a great deal are my cat, Billie Dean. Billie has been quite “helpful” with helping me color meaning that he happily lays down on the picture I am trying to color. I kind of find it funny that he does this as he is just trying to help me deal with the emotions I am dealing with. I love the fact the Billie is doing what he is suppose to do as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA).

As I colored today, with the help of Billie, I also listened to a podcast about philosophy. The specific philosophy I am listening to is Philosophize This. I really enjoy this podcast and am trying to get to the most recent airing of the podcast but I know it will take me a while to do that but I am okay with that. I love to learn new things and feel like I am learning new things as I listen to Philosophize This. I will encourage anyone to listen to this particular podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has great night head of them. I also hope that you have a great night of sleep if you are not working. If you are working I hope you have a great night at work. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Get off work
  • Spend time with my cat Billie Dean
  • Take a nap
  • Work on a workbook or two
  • Do mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Do art work. (Most likely coloring)

Monday

  • Do mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Walk through local parks
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Work on a workbook or two
  • Do laundry
  • Do some form of art work (Most likely coloring)

Tuesday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Phone session with my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner for a med review
  • Get my meds
  • Clean my apartment
  • Do a workbook or two
  • Do some coloring as I am coloring something for my therapist

Wednesday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Have an in person appointment with my therapist
  • Do some coloring as I am coloring something for my therapist.
  • Work on a workbook or two

Thursday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Clean my apartment
  • Do some coloring as I am coloring stuff for people
  • Work on a workbook or two

Friday

  • Do a mindfulness or meditation practice
  • Do some coloring
  • Work on a workbook or two.

Saturday

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! I am having a challenging time sleeping. I wish I wasn’t having difficulties sleeping but I am. When I can’t sleep I just say that I am Sleepless in Seattle since I live in Seattle and unable to sleep in honor of the movie Sleepless in Seattle. Anyway, not being able to sleep sucks shit.

Since I am unable to sleep, I have been watching late night television. I have watched both Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers. They are both extremely funny men and make late television worth watching. Being able to laugh helps make life a bit easier to live and to deal with the world around us. Something relatively new or at least I think it is new that at 1:30 in the morning a new show comes on with a woman by the name of Lilly Singh and I personally think she is funny as hell. It is also nice to see a person of color on late night television. Just wish she was on earlier. Anyway, just watching late night television helps me just deal with shit when I am unable to sleep. Being able to laugh is quite helpful for me and my mental health.

Besides watching late night television, I have been doing art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I recently received a Day of the Dead coloring book from a friend. I am including a picture of what I colored as I started coloring it tonight and this is how far I have gotten. It is obviously not finished if you are not sight impaired. I love coloring and it helps me relax. Coloring is a type of meditation for me. For those who are sight impaired the picture of what I colored so far is below and I have included a caption with it.

A Day of the Dead coloring page I am coloring. It is not completely colored yet but I am enjoying coloring it.

Besides late night television and coloring, my cat, Billie Dean has been quite helpful for me tonight. Billie is an amazing cat. Normally he would be fighting for space on my lap as I type this blog post but he is sound to sleep on his cat tree. I love Billie so much and am beyond grateful for him. I hope he lives at least another ten years as I want him to live a long life with me. He is a great cat.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post so I am going to end the post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Wednesday ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

A Pre-Work Post

Good Evening, World!!! I am now awake and about to get ready for work. Part of me doesn’t want to go to work. The part of me that doesn’t want to go to work is the part where my depression symptoms are acting up. I know ultimately me going to work will help with my depression symptoms. As much as I do not like night shifts, I am grateful to have a job for several reasons. One such reason is that working does help with my mental health symptoms.

The part I don’t like about working is the fact, I am away from my cat, Billie Dean. Billie is my emotional support animal (ESA) and helps me a great deal. On a plus note, coming home from work or any other place, having Billie greet me at the door is always an awesome feeling.

As I type this blog I realize that I need to put my art supplies in my backpack so I can take them to work. Specifically, my coloring supplies. I take my coloring supplies so I can color at work to help keep myself busy. I have a lot of down time at work. I love to color. It is a type of meditation for me.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thing that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Midnight Post

Hello, World!!! It is midnight in my corner of the world. I am staying up all night due to the fact I have to sleep all day. I need to sleep all day on Saturday’s because I work a twelve and a half hour night shift. I really enjoy my current job with the exception of it being a night shift. I am not a big fan of it being twelve and a half hours but I think if it was a day time shift I would be more accepting of a twelve and a half hour shift. My colleagues are great and it feels like a family type environment. The clients I work with are awesome. My supervisor is super supportive. I think the reason I have stayed at my current job for so long is because of my colleagues and supervisor as well as it being a supportive environment. The main reason I am looking for a new job is I don’t do well with a night shift.

Speaking of looking for a new job, I mentioned in an earlier post, I have a job interview at a local mental health agency. I hope I get the job because I love working in supportive housing. I also love being employed as a peer support specialist also known as a peer counselor. I am trying to not get my hopes up high about getting the job because if I don’t get it, I don’t really want to be let down. No matter what if I don’t get it the job, I will be let down but if I keep my expectations low then the let down won’t be so hard. I am looking forward to the interview because I will consider it practice especially if I don’t get the job.

Anyway on to something completely different. One of the ways I will keep myself from falling asleep is doing some art. I will be doing different mediums (genres) of art. I will be doing some coloring, painting and some collage. I most likely be combining the collage with some painting. I love my completed art work when it combines painting and collage. It is very interesting. I also enjoy giving my art away. People wonder why I don’t sell it. I don’t sell it because I don’t think its worth very much. I also love being able to give people hand made gifts.

The best part of Friday nights is that I get to spend the entire night awake with my cat, Billie Dean. I really think he appreciates when I don’t sleep at night because that way I spend the night playing with him and being awake with him. I love my cat so much. I really enjoy the fact that he is a cuddle bug. I think if it were up to him, he would spend all of his time in my lap.

I do not have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Saturday. I also hope everyone has an awesome weekend ahead. Peace Out, World!!!

Gloomy Weather + Art + A Cat + Therapy = A Day of Self Care

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally got some sleep. Not much sleep but some. I am grateful for the little sleep I did get. Sleep is key for me to help maintain the mental health symptoms of the diagnosis’s I have.

In all honesty my mood fits today’s weather here in Seattle. It is gray and gloomy which is how I feel at the moment. My gloomy mood most likely has something to do with the lack of sleep however it is something to be aware of as a just in case. A just in case depression symptoms start increasing. On that note, I am sort of glad the weather fits my gloomy mood because it means I can just lay back and do some art.

The type of art I plan on doing is coloring, collage and painting. In fact I am planning on finishing up one art piece that combines collage and painting. In fact I am extremely proud of this particular piece and hope to share it with you. I also plan on doing some coloring. Coloring soothes me as well as soothes the inner child in me.

Speaking of art, I will be watching the television show, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. It is another thing that soothes me and my inner child. The Joy of Painting helps me be at peace. There is something about Bob Ross and his painting that puts me in a state of calm.

Another thing I will be doing since I will be spending the day at home on this gloomy day is spending time with my cat, Billie Dean. I love Billie so much. I love the fact that he is a cuddle bug and very much a lap cat. I am happy to have him love on me today.

I am looking at the time and realize my therapy session  will be starting in the next twenty minutes. My therapist will be calling me at 12:30pm to have our session. Our session are currently on the  phone due to Covid-19. I would much rather have an in person therapy session but I totally understand why it is not at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Phuck It!!! I Can’t Sleep

Good Morning, I still haven’t slept and am getting extremely frustrated about. Especially since I have things that need to get done and be attended to. Not being able to sleep is quite annoying as well as frustrating and wish my meds would work. I guess this is the time to use the DBT Skill; Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance isn’t one of the easiest DBT skills for me to use especially in regards to not sleeping but it is one of the most useful skills for me to use.

Besides using radical acceptance, I have been doing some art. I have been coloring, collaging and painting. I have also been doing a combination of mediums (genre’s) which has been quite fun and interesting. In fact I am happy to see some great finished pieces that I hope to give to people at some point. I enjoy making things and giving the finish product to people for the hell of it.

Billie Dean, my cat, has been keeping me company as I do art work. I am grateful to have Billie in my life and happy that he came into my life when he did. I really miss my last cat, Lil Gertie and think she was the one that led Billie and myself to each other. I know it seems weird but I think it’s the case. I sure love Billie and that he is a such a lap cat.

I don’t have much more to say. I do however want to thank every single one of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope each one of you enjoys the Wednesday ahead of you and that you are able to find joy in this day. Peace Out, World!!!