Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! It is almost one o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world of Seattle. I am unable to sleep due to insomnia and it fucking sucks. As much as having insomnia suck, there is a plus side to it at times and tonight is one of those times.

Tonight is one of those times because I get to catch up on a couple of things as my cat, Billie Dean, lays in my lap. Billie is happy as a clam when he is able to be in my lap. Or at least it appears that way to me. I love my cat, Billie so very much.

As Billie, happily lays in my lap I have been catching up on my reading. Specifically, I have been reading Star Wars, Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn. Tonight I have read the first five chapters and am about to start chapter six. Actually, I am debating if I should start chapter six tonight as I am really getting into the book. When I get into a book, I tend to read as much as I can before getting too exhausted to where I am not able to function and really need to get some sleep. Not only to I not sleep, I forget to eat when I am really into a book.

Since I am really, getting into Star Wars, Heir to the Empire and am needing to stop reading for the night, I am going to listen to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I will be listening to Philosophize This as I want to be able to get caught up to present day episode. I really like how Stephen West presents the topic of philosophy which is part of the reason why I really like the podcast. I am learning stuff I wish they would have taught in high school especially since I have not had the luxury to attend college.

Now that you know what I have done tonight and what I am going to do next, I am going to end this particular blog post for now. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I really hope everyone is having a good nights sleep and hope you have a great Tuesday ahead when you wake up. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Take nap due to working all night
  • Spend time with my cat Billie Dean
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Walk in the rain

Monday

  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Walk in the rain
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Spend a half an hour cleaning apartment

Tuesday

  • Attend therapy appointment over Zoom
  • Go to see my doctor in person at her office
  • Listen to a podcast

Wednesday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Go to Target or Walmart to buy new sheets for my bed
  • Attend a Zoom meeting

Thursday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Attend a Zoom meeting
  • Spend a half an hour cleaning apartment

Friday

  • Listen to a podcast
  • Attend a Zoom meeting
  • Buy cat litter for my cat Billie Dean
  • Stay up all night to sleep all day Saturday (Watch movies and read)

Saturday

  • Sleep all day
  • Work all night

Just a Post About Dealing with Depression

Hello, World!!! For some reason my depression has decided to rear its ugly head. Yes, I have been feeling a little meh lately but part of that is due to the isolation this stupid pandemic put us in. The depression I am experiencing is not the meh feeling have been dealing with. The depression I am feeling, feels like the typical depression I experience which sucks but at least it is something I am aware of. Being aware of it is helpful as I know what I can do to help fight it off or least not make it worse.

Honestly, the weather sort of fits my mood but at least I know its not the weather causing my depression or at least not adding to it. Right now it is raining in Seattle. Actually it is the normal Seattle mist type of rain. I have been wanting this weather due to the poor air quality due to all the wild fires that are happening. Plus this weather is letting me wear my flannels and I love my flannels.

I am hoping the weather last as I love to be able to have an excuse to stay home with my cat, Billie Dean. I am so grateful for the unconditional love that Billie gives me. He has helped a great deal with my depression.

Billie not only helps with my depression, he also tries to help me with my art work. Tonight the genre of art work I have been doing is coloring. Billie has been laying on the picture I have been coloring or trying to bite the colored pencil I would use. I take it he just wants to help.

As I colored to help with the depression, I also listened to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is called Philosophize This. In fact, Steven West, the podcaster of Philosophize This is from Seattle which I personally think is cool since I live in Seattle. Anyway, I really enjoy Philosophize This and learning about philosophy.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank each one of you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Much Needed Time Away

Hello, World!!! It is ten fifteen at night in my corner of the world. Currently, I am in Bremerton, Washington. I decided to take a ferry here from Seattle and stay the night. As much as I love living in Seattle, sometimes city life can get a bit overwhelming so I am staying the night in a hotel on Bremerton’s waterfront.

Even though I am only going to be gone tonight, I am having a neighbor who has become a good friend look in on my cat, Billie Dean. Yes, I realize Billie will be okay with me just being gone overnight, I just wanted to make sure nothing happens. Plus my neighbor really likes Billie. I know from becoming friends with my neighbor that he really loves cats and it always brightens his day when I take Billie to say hi to him. So, having my neighbor check on Billie not only eases my mind but helps this good friend.

I know what I have done here in Bremerton is something I could do at home however just getting a break from the everyday things is helpful. One of the things I have done is read. I am reading a Star Wars book. A book that has me very engrossed and engaged. I read the Star Wars book outside for about an hour on Bremerton’s waterfront and enjoyed every minute of it.

After reading, I went out to dinner which was nice. The food at the restaurant, I went to was great which is why I went. Every time I come to Bremerton, I try to eat at the restaurant I at tonight. I highly recommend Bremerton Bar and Grill if you are ever in Bremerton, Washington.

Once I got back to my hotel room after eating dinner, I decided to do some art work. Actually, the type of art I did was color. Coloring is more portable than other forms of art or at least for me it is. I love to color and it helps me get into a positive state of mind.

As I was coloring I decided to listen to one of my favorite podcast on the subject of philosophy. The podcast I listened to as I colored was Philosophize This. The way the podcaster, Stephen West discusses philosophy makes the subject interesting and easy to comprehend. Or at least that is my person opinion of Philosophize This.

I do not have much more to talk about in this blog post except that I really needed this time away and miss my cat, Billie. Before, I end the post, I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciative that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday night. I also hope you all get a good night of sleep. Good Night and Peace Out, World. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

Combating Depression

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am feeling slightly depressed. I am not exactly sure why my depression symptoms are acting up but they are. Depression sucks just like any mental health diagnosis. I just wish it didn’t exist but it does.

Right now, the things that appear to be helping seem to be so basic to those who don’t struggle with a mental health challenge. Sometimes its the simple and most basic things in life that are the most helpful. Or at least helpful for me.

For me one of the first basic things I do is take care of my cat, Billie Dean. First, I feed Billie. After feeding Billie, I then do the first of two daily cleanings of his litter box. After Billie is done eating and the litter box gets cleaned out, I then put on Billie’s new harness and leash on him and we go for a walk in the second floor hallway and the first floor common areas such as the lobby and community room. Billie appears to be scared when outside and most likely due to the freeway noise and hoping that with brief outside moments will help but I will not force it unless there is an emergency like the fire alarm going off. Billie really does like to explore and smell everything. Taking care of Billie and his needs helps me take care of myself.

Another basic thing I do for myself is to do art work. Today, the type of art work I have been doing is coloring. Yes, I know it seems quite basic and some might even call it “childish” but I don’t care as it helps me deal with things such as my depression. There is something calming and meditative about coloring. I enjoy coloring a great deal as it is one of the most simplest art forms there is to express yourself.

As I colored, I listened to a podcast. A podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I listened to Philosophize This by Stephen West. In fact Philosophize This is the first podcast I ever started listening to. I started listening to it on Spotify and still listen to it. I enjoy listening to it and how Stephen West presents Philosophy. He makes philosophy to understand and puts it into simple term. Another thing is that he is from Seattle which I find cool especially since I live in Seattle.

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. I am greatly appreciative that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. I also hope everyone has a great week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

Frustration With Depression

Good Evening, World!!! Right now I am frustrated. I am frustrated with depression symptoms creeping in especially since I have had a relatively okay type of day. I am grateful for the things that I have done today.

The things that have been helping a great deal are my cat, Billie Dean. Billie has been quite “helpful” with helping me color meaning that he happily lays down on the picture I am trying to color. I kind of find it funny that he does this as he is just trying to help me deal with the emotions I am dealing with. I love the fact the Billie is doing what he is suppose to do as my Emotional Support Animal (ESA).

As I colored today, with the help of Billie, I also listened to a podcast about philosophy. The specific philosophy I am listening to is Philosophize This. I really enjoy this podcast and am trying to get to the most recent airing of the podcast but I know it will take me a while to do that but I am okay with that. I love to learn new things and feel like I am learning new things as I listen to Philosophize This. I will encourage anyone to listen to this particular podcast.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has great night head of them. I also hope that you have a great night of sleep if you are not working. If you are working I hope you have a great night at work. Peace Out, World!!!

June Gloom = A Blah Type of Day

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is a typical Seattle June Gloom type of day. With the June Gloom day and how I am feeling, it is a blah type of day. It is a type of day where I need to be aware of how I am doing as days like this can easily turn into days where my depression acts up. I do think that days like today are needed from time to time. Sometimes days like today are meant to be lazy type of days.

Earlier today, I had a phone session with my psychiatric nurse practitioner (ANRP) and we discuss things that have been going on in my life and meds. My psychiatric nurse practitioner is a sweet woman and am greatly appreciative of her and how she listens. She increase the dosing of my sleep med in hopes of helping me sleep. I also now see her every six week instead of every four weeks which means she thinks I am doing better and I agree with her assessment.

After my appointment I went to pick up my meds from the pharmacy. I had a great conversation with the pharmacist who is awesome and on top of their game. After getting my meds, I went to the Amazon locker where my package was delivered to, to pick it up. Getting out of the apartment to do these two errands helped my mood a great deal.

Since getting home from my two errands, I have been doing some art work while listening to a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, I am coloring as I listen to the podcast, Philosophize This. Coloring and listening to Philosophize This has been quite relaxing for me. Of course, my cat, Billie Dean has been “helping” me with my coloring and he appears to be enjoying listening to Philosophize This. Spending time with my cat, Billie while doing things I enjoy is a great way to spend my day.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you do read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Tuesday. I also hope everyone has a great rest of their week with whatever you are doing. Peace Out, World!!!

Long Time No Blog

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been quite some time since I last blogged. There is no particular reason why I haven’t blogged and I have no real or good excuse to why I haven’t blogged. I guess, I could say life has been getting in the way but part of my life does consist of the blogging community. In fact I have made friends from the blogging community and am grateful for that.

Anyway, I want to update you on my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie is doing well and acting like her typical self. She had a biopsy done to confirm the original test of cancer but sadly the biopsy didn’t confirm or deny cancer as all the samples the vet took were all inflamed. Lil Gertie’s vet, Dr. B said that inflammation is most likely the sign of infection so we put Lil Gertie on some antibiotics. Dr. B is “cautiously optimistic” with the biopsy results but also doesn’t want to give me “false hope” with the biopsy results and am grateful that she is upfront with such things and the cool part is she informs you in a compassionate way. I wish the biopsy results were not so frustrating and would have been more informative but at least I know that Dr. B can now do the surgery and not have to refer me to a different vet to do it. Even though I scheduled a surgery in January for Lil Gertie, I am not sure if surgery is the way I want to go as if the lump continues to grow, I want Lil Gertie to have a good quality of life and not suffer. As frustrating as the biopsy results are I am grateful that Dr. B is an upfront and compassionate vet who wants what is best for my cat. I will keep you updated on Lil Gertie as she is a major part of my life.

As far as what the rest of the day holds for me is to just lay low and really not do much. I will be doing some good self care. For today, self care looks like listening to several episodes of a podcast about philosophy as I do some art work as I have incense burn. The type of art work I will be doing is coloring and painting. I most likely do more coloring than painting as I am trying to finish up some coloring projects before the holidays as I am going to give them as gifts. I am also trying to finish up one painting for a friend of mine but that will only take about fifteen minutes plus drying time. I love both coloring and painting. Coloring and painting or any type of art is therapeutic for me and it is also educational for me because I tend to listen to podcast when doing some form of art. Usually the podcast I listen to gives me knowledge on topics I am not familiar with.

Anyway, I don’t have much more to say with out blabbing on and on about the same thing. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. In fact I hope everyone has a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Night Post

Happy Friday, World!!! It is Friday night in my corner of the world. Friday nights I usually stay up all night so I can sleep all day on Saturdays. I sleep all day on Saturdays because I work a twelve hour shift on Saturday night. Working nights reeks havoc on my sleep even if I only do work one night a week and that sucks.

As far as my plans to stay up tonight is the obvious of spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. I love spending time with my cat and being able to give her attention as well as play with her when she is more likely to let me do that stuff which at night. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I can not imagine my life with out her.

Besides spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie, I plan on reading the “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi. So far I have only read the introduction and chapter one. What I have read so far, I think I am going to like the book as well as learn a great deal. Something I want to do as a white person is to become a better ally for people of color. I will also be reading other books of similar nature. Specifically, about race and how I can be a better ally.

I, of course will be doing other things besides reading tonight and that stuff will be doing some form of art as I listen to a podcast. Not sure what type of podcast I will be listening to but the art I will most likely be doing tonight is coloring. I really enjoy coloring and listening to podcast.

Before I end this post I want to update you on my dads health as well as my health. My dad is now out of Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and on a regular medical floor. This happened today and am so grateful for his improvement. He wants to go home but has to stay in the hospital a few more days. As far as my health issues of a kidney infection and a urinary tract infection (uti); they seem to be getting better with the help of a very strong antibiotic. An antibiotic that is making me nauseous but thankfully I have an anti-nausea med to help with that.

I do not have anything else to say in this blog post. I do want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of their Friday. I also hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Sleepless in Seattle Type of Night

Good Morning, World!!! I still haven’t been back to bed since the fire alarm went of because someone burnt food. I am tired as hell and most likely will attempt to go back to sleep. My anxiety and PTSD symptoms have been acting up quite severely since the fire alarm went off. They are acting up so badly that it is affecting my ability to calm down enough to be able to sleep. The insomnia isn’t help much either.

The thing that is helping me at the moment is my cat, Lil Gertie. She has a calming effect on me and that is extremely helpful. My cat has been by my side most of the morning after the fire alarm went off. I am grateful she has been near by as it has been quite helpful for me to be able to calm down.

One of the things I have been doing since I was so rudely woke up is coloring. I have been coloring my coloring pages. One of which I have shared with you here on my blog. I am hoping that with my coloring pages that I am currently doing that they will be done by the holidays as I want to be able to give them as gifts to people.

When I started off coloring, I listened to music. I listened to Nirvana, MxPX and Tori Amos. For some reason listening to the above mentioned musicians was and is quite helpful to me. I find their music relaxing.

After listening to music and still coloring I decided to listen to a podcast about philosophy. Coloring while listening to a podcast about philosophy not only helps me focus on the topic but to retain the subject. I of course find the subject of philosophy quite interesting and am grateful to be able to listen to a podcast about it as I color.

I don’t have much else to say in this blog post. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope to be able to get some sleep today as well as go see my dad in the hospital. I did talk to him this morning already and seemed to be doing okay. I hope everyone has a great day ahead as well as a relaxing day ahead. Peace Out, World!!!