A Sleepless Night

Good Morning, World!!! According to my computer it is 2:34 in the morning in my corner of the world. I am unable to sleep despite trying everything I could before needing to take my sleep meds. In fact my sleep med is Ambien and I am just waiting for it to kick in so I can go to sleep. Having insomnia suck shit. Normally, I wouldn’t mind not being able to sleep on a Friday night / Saturday morning because that would mean I could sleep all day on Saturday so I could stay awake during my twelve hour night shift on Saturday nights for work. But I am not working Saturday due to the fact my dad is in the hospital because of an emergency surgery. I just wish I didn’t have insomnia. I really hope my Ambien hurries up and kicks in.

I have been coloring most of the night. Coloring has been quite helpful for me and my recovery with mental health challenges. It is the one type of art that I can take with me so when things get challenging I can just pull it out and color. Coloring is the one thing I never stopped doing from childhood.

Most of the night as I colored I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy. I am learning a great deal about both philosophy and history from the philosophy podcast. I am really enjoy the podcast. I highly recommend the philosophy podcast; Philosophize This. I personally like it.

As much as I love listening to the podcast Philosophize This about philosophy, I had to stop listening to it as I was coloring because my mind was starting to get on learning overload. I love the podcast and will continue to listen to it but I need to take a break from it for a few hours so when I go back to coloring I will listen to music. Hell, I am listening to music as I write this blog post. In fact I am listening to Tori Amos and Nirvana. I just wish my Ambien would kick in because I really want to sleep.

Since my Ambien isn’t kicking in yet, I will end this post for now to go back to coloring and continue to listen to the music of Tori Amos and Nirvana. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Sleepless In Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It appears that I am Sleepless in Seattle. I really hate not being able to sleep. Being able to sleep would be nice and sadly the medicine I am taking is not helping. I don’t think the Ambien is taking effect yet because I don’t think I am acting goofy at the moment. I just want to go to sleep and have a good night of sleep but sometimes all I get is Sleepless in Seattle. Oh well. At least I know I am not the only one Sleepless in Seattle.

I think I am going to get going. I am going to go try to get some sleep. I hope everyone has a good day. Good Night and Peace Out, World!!!

A Post As I Wait for My Ambien To Kick In

Hello, World!!! It is nearly midnight in my neck of the woods and I am watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I love watching The Tonight Show as in makes me laugh. I love the fact that humor helps me a great deal.

As I write this blog post I am waiting for my ambien to kick in so I can get to sleep. I didn’t sleep last night and it sucks shit. In fact I didn’t sleep Saturday night either. I just hope that I can get some sleep tonight or I am not going to be able function at all tomorrow (Tuesday). Sleep has been issue for me as long as I can remember and wish it wasn’t.

My cat, Lil Gertie is being affectionate right now and I am grateful for it. With Lil Gertie being affectionate I am realizing that I am starting to have some PTSD symptoms. Specifically, flashbacks and body memories. I really dislike PTSD but I realize most of the time that it’s the past and not happening now. As far as my cat, Lil Gertie, I am petting her and trying to type at the same time.

I should get going as I think my ambien is starting to kick in and I am wanting to pay attention to my cat, Lil Gertie. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from end of things. I hope everyone has a good night of sleep. Good Night and Peace Out, World!!!

An Ambien Written Post

Good Morning, World!!! It about 2:15 in the morning on a Tuesday in my corner of the world. In fact I am sure some places in the world are ending their Tuesday as other parts of the world like where I live is just starting out their Tuesday.

Right now I am unable to sleep despite attempting to get to sleep. So, now I am up and decided to write a post as I hope that maybe writing will help. I love to write weather it’s blogging, journaling, poetry or short stories. For some reason it is quite helpful for me when I am needing to clear my mind.

Since I am unable to sleep I decided to put on some music. In fact, the playlist I am listening to at the moment, I titled, Childhood Memories, as it is songs I remember from my childhood. Most of the songs I have heard over and over again. Some how music helps me.

Before, I decided to write a blog post, I decided to color. I love to color. It is a form of both mindfulness and meditation for me. It helps me be in a place of relaxation as well helps me turn out the outside noise that the world brings in.

To be honest with you all, I am going to have to look at this post later on today as well as the art work I colored because I took an Ambien when I started coloring about an hour ago. So, yes, I am writing under the influence of Ambien. This post should be an interesting post to reread. In fact I am sure my coloring might be interesting to look at after the ambien wears off and I am able to get some sleep. I think I am going to go to bed now as I am extremely sleepy now from the ambien and I will leave my music on as it helps me sleep.

I do not have much else to say as if I continue to write I most likely will be repeating myself. My cat is meowing at me from my bed in the bedroom so I am thinking she is telling me it is way past my bed time. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!

Writing Under the Influence of Ambien

Hello, World!!! I am on my fourth night of not sleeping. It is getting quite frustrating not being able to sleep. If I am unable to sleep tonight, I am going to request that I get hospitalized when I see my therapist later this afternoon. The lack of sleep is not helping to decrease the symptoms of my mental health challenges. In fact the lack of sleep is increasing the symptoms of my mental health challenges and it is quite scary when the symptoms start to increase.

In fact as I am writing this I am writing under the influence of Ambien. I attempted to go to sleep but it is not making me sleepy. I wish the Ambien would make me sleepy but it is not. Ambien makes me goofy. It helps me be creative in ways I could not imagine especially when I am painting. My paintings come out extremely interesting and not sure what I am exactly attempting to express emotionally. Maybe it is everything that I am feeling emotionally or the shit I deal with in regards to my mental health challenges.

While doing my current piece of art I, of course am painting under the influence of Ambien with some pretty awesome music playing. I have a mixture of Grunge Rock and some Emo Rock. It’s quite the genre’s to be listening to while in the state of mine I am in with Ambien added on top it off with. It least I am not harming myself with the painting and listening to the music. I just wish I could get some sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I should try to get some as I am pretty sure I am done with my painting for the moment. The painting needs to dry so maybe later in the morning I can write a post about the painting and post the picture up onto my blog. Just an idea. I am really tired. The music is helping me be tired. Have a good night of sleep everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Two O’clock in the Morning Randomness

Good Morning, World!!! Today is a sad day in American history. Today is the 17th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. This a day that our country put all politics away and help each other. I personally knew two people where killed in the twin towers and I am honoring them this post. To make people don’t forget the loss people  are still dealing with.

I am writing the post in an Ambien fog and don’t really know how much sense I am making at the moment. Lil Gertie, my cat is wanting to play with me so I might want to keep this blog shore.  But I have so much to say.

My cat meowing at me with here toys surrounding her. This leading me to believe that she wants to play. I think I will play with Lil Gertie. I gave her some fish I had for dinner as treat. She ate it all up.

I better get going. I hope I can get to sleep. Goodnight and Peace Out, World!!!

Still, No Sleep In Seattle

Good  Morning, World!!! It is now five o’clock in the morning here in Seattle and I still haven’t had a wink of sleep. I even took a dose of my sleeping meds after my last post and well the Ambien didn’t work. I just laid there in bed for about an hour while my cat, Lil Gertie, laid next to me purring as she got petted most of that hour.

I have managed to keep myself busy the last few hours. One of the things I have done was watch movies. In fact I watched two Harry Potter movies. That helped to take my mind off of things for a while.

The next thing I did was read a handful of Wonder Woman comic books. Reading Wonder Woman comic books always seem to give me the strength I need for the moment even if that is not my intention for reading Wonder Woman.

Watching Harry Potter and reading Wonder Woman may have helped me get my mind off of things as well a given me strength to handle things, I was hoping hoping that both would relax me enough to get to sleep. Unfortunately, I was not able to get to sleep doing either.

Now I am watching the morning news as I await the arrival of my news paper. I prefer to read the news paper first and then watch the morning news however my news paper has not arrived yet. Of course it is just five o’clock in the morning and the paper usually gets here between five thirty and six o’clock in the morning.

I do have therapy later this morning. In fact I see my therapist at eleven thirty this morning for an hour. The lack of sleep is one of the many things I hope to bring up to him today. I really like my therapist as he is quite helpful. Besides being helpful to me he is a strengths based therapist which means he helps me focus on my strengths so when in times of weakness, I can rely on the strength I have. He is also recovery focused which is a great thing for me. Having a therapist the is recovery focused and strengths based is awesome and rare or I think it is rare as it is difficult to find one that is both especially in the community mental health system.

I don’t have much else to say at the moment. It looks like I have been long winded for this post and that wasn’t my intention. My intention was to keep this post sweet and to the point and not so long. I apologize for my post being so long and e being incredibly long winded. It appears that I need to end the post from my cats, Lil Gertie, point of view as well. I say this cause she is attempting to sit on the key board of my laptop to prevent me form writing.

As this post comes to a close, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great week. Have a good day everyone. Peace Out, World!!!