Daily Archives: October 12, 2023

Just Another Post

Posted on by Gertie

Hello, World!!! I don’t know how to feel right now. Depression is hitting me hard tonight but at least I got some sleep in earlier. Even though I only got about four hours of sleep I am grateful for the much needed sleep as I was tired. Hell, I am still tired which is why I am probably slightly depressed.

Depression sucks but at least I know how to help myself. One of the things I have been doing is some step work. Specifically, I am working on step one. I really like the fact that the twelve step program I am in has its own twelve step work book. My sponsor is willing to go at my own pace working on the steps as she knows how challenging doing the steps can be.

Since the steps can be hard to do, I’ve done some self care. One of the forms of self care that I have done is to read. I have decided to switch books to read. I am now reading Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith. So far the book is good but I am only thirty pages into the book.

I also have been doing art work. Specifically, I have been coloring. I have been coloring to some music. As I color I have been listening to my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. I love being able to color as I listen to music.

I do not have much more to talk about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of Day Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good , World!!! So, far this is my third blog post of the day and I would be lying if I informed you if I wasn’t struggling. I am struggling at the moment however I have hope. Having hope is a good thing especially when one’s depression is acting up.

As you know from an earlier post, I am struggling a great deal. Mainly, due to not sleeping the last two nights which sucks, but I have kept myself. I, of course have colored as well as read a horror book. The thing I am most proud of is having my first conversation with my sponsor.

That conversation led me to start the first step. The first step is a huge step for everyone involved in any twelve step program. Being part of a twelve step program is healing and gives a sense of community with the meetings and having a sponsor. During my conversation with my sponsor she asked me to attend at least one more meeting today as I already attended one and have the time to attend a second one for the day. I did attend the second meeting and it was awesome.

After the meeting I decided to work on some workbooks for my mental health recovery. I worked on two separate workbooks and I am grateful that I did. I think the workbooks will help me build new skills and reinforce the skills that I currently do have. Recovery is a process and is non-linear. It also looks differently to each person as everyone’s recovery journey is unique to the individual walking along the recovery path.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader continue to read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

First Conversation with Sponsor

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I had my first conversation with my sponsor a few moments ago. My sponsor asked what I was looking for in a sponsor in which I did inform her what I was looking for which is someone with great boundaries. We then discussed how she sponsors and I like the fact that she only sponsors no more than three people at a time.

We will have regular phone calls every week at a set day and time with the option to meet up. I have been given the assignment of starting step one. I will be reading a little bit in the yellow workbook and doing at least one question. I will also start reading step one in the Big Red Book (BRB).

I am looking forward to working the steps and growing as a human being. This is going to be hard work and I am so willing to do it. My recovery depends on it.

(Side Note: Getting a sponsor is not by any means that I am going to stop therapy or anything else that helps with my recovery. Recovery looks different for everyone.)

I do not have much more to discuss in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Things to Help Myself with Depression, Today

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling with some depression at the moment and it sucks. On the plus side my happy light is currently on as I type this and my cat Billie is laying in my lap purring up a storm. My depression is acting up primarily because of the time of year and a recent traumatic event that occurred back in last July.

Having depression sucks but at least it has me self aware of how much doing mindfulness meditation practices really do help. I do mindfulness meditation twice daily which is scheduled and then do some unscheduled if needed.

I am of course planning on going to some online twelve step meetings at some point today because I know how helpful they are and when I go back to work I will not be able to attend as many. On a side note I went to a local twelve step meeting that is still completely online and was able to find a sponsor. I am so excited to have a sponsor as this will be helpful in so many ways.

I am also planning on doing some form of art today. In fact I am planning on coloring a giant poster I bought from Stuff2Color.com. I enjoy the stuff I color from Stuff2Color. As, I color I plan on listening to music. As of right now I will be listening to my recovery playlist or my childhood memories playlist on Spotify. Coloring and listening to music seem to go together for me.

Another thing I most likely will do is to read. I, most likely will read a horror book due to the fact that it helps with my PTSD and it is Halloween time. The book I am reading is Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. Stephen King is an amazing author.

One thing I am going to do today is work on some workbooks to help with my recovery. Focusing on my recovery is key to everything I do in my life. Everything from my personal life to my profession life at work.

Speaking of work, I am looking for a new job due to some bull crap that doesn’t appear to be fair to me at the moment. Plus, it doesn’t appear like it is a good fit for me at the moment. I am going applying for jobs online today.

I do not have much more to discuss in the particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!