Anger = Call to Therapist

Good Afternoon, World!!! As much as I love my family, they are driving me nuts right now. Driving me nuts over petty shit that I shouldn’t let get to me but I do.

I talked with my new therapist about this and he suggested some things for me to do so I am not so angry with them. The cool thing about everything is that he knew what questions to ask about me and my anger. He now knows that me calling when I am angry is a good. This is a way for me to be preventative to do self harm urges and self harm acts. Thankfully, the anger toward my family didn’t lead to self harm urges which is why I was being preventative.

Something that my therapist and I came up with is to keep my mind busy so reading and books. I found out that my therapist is also an avid reading. His enjoys science fiction and fantasy genres. Knowing something as simple as this helps me with trusting my therapist. Talking about ways to not be so angry and books with my therapist helped lessened the anger a great deal.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World.

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Having A Tough Evening

Hello, World!!! As the title of my post suggest, I am having a tough evening. An evening full of depression and grief. I’m still grieving over the death of my grandma. It hasn’t even been a two months since she passed away and I miss her so much, more and more everyday.

Something that I have been doing to help myself is my DBT skills.  Specifically, I have been reading. Reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying the book. If you are a Fantasy and/or Science Fiction fan, you would enjoy the book. In fact it is the first book in The Liveship Traders Trilogy. 

I am a huge fan of book series. I am a fan of series because I really get into the world the author created as well as the characters. Sometimes I cry at the end of a series because saying goodbye to the world and character of the author’s creation is difficult for me to do. Yes, I know it is not real however sometimes you spend more time with the series than your own family.  Or at least for me it is true.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

All I Can Say Is That It’s Monday

Good Evening, World!!! The title of this post says it all. Today, I had a “team meeting” with my now old case manager and Gilbert, who is now my old therapist and met with my new clinician. Not sure what to think of my new clinician but he appears to be a little timid. I just hope he is as direct with me as my case manager and Gilbert as directness is quite helpful for me.

Something else I did was go to Art Group. I love art. We were to paint one big flower to cover the page. I didn’t do that as I wanted to create a field of flowers. It didn’t come out as planned but I like it because I made a couple of focal points in my painting.

When I came home I read a chapter in my book. I am really enjoying my book and grateful that I now have the concentration to now focus on reading. Once, I am done blogging I think I am going to go back to reading. Right now my favorite genre is Fantasy (as well as Science Fiction) and proud of being considered a “geek” due to the genre.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

An Unexpected Hiatus

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Good Evening, World!!! I haven’t blogged in a while due to the fact that I was hospitalized for psych reasons. Well, mainly due to depression. As stated in my last post depression was (and is) biting me in the ass. Biting me in the ass so bad that hospitalization was the was the only way to keep myself safe.

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While in the hospital, the group I enjoyed most was music therapy. The genre that was brought up the most in music group were the eighties. Yes, the eighties. It appeared that no matter the age or generation of the individual, everyone agreed on eighties music. It is always nice when folks can agree on something as simple and as common as music.

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When I wasn’t attending groups, I was reading. Reading, Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I finally have enough consternation to read. I’ve only been attempting to read this particular book for months now and realize it was my depression getting in the way. It truly is an awesome book. A book worth reading and getting into. It is a book that is hard to put down.

Speaking of reading I want to end this post and get back to reading.  I hope everyone has a great rest of their Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!

Depression Biting Me in the Ass

Represent a dog biting a man butt.

Good Morning, World!!! My depression is biting me in the fucking ass at the moment. Biting me in the ass severe enough that I am isolating myself from people. People that want to help but right now I am needing my space. Space from the world.

Spending time away from other people has me thinking about blogging. I am thinking about re-doing courses I have done and enjoyed doing that WordPress puts on for free. I am not sure which course I am going to re-do at the moment or if I am going to do multiple at the same time. I just know that when I do a course I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish an assignment and the course.

Something else that gives me a sense of accomplishment is reading. There is something rewarding when get to the next chapter or find something new out about a character or the plot. Right now I am reading the Liveships Traders Trilogy by Robin Hobb. I am really getting into it as well as the characters.

When it comes to reading I prefer book series as it keeps me more interested in reading especially when I was a child and teenager. I don’t mind stand alone books, I just prefer book series. The characters tend to grow on me and I don’t really like saying goodbye which is why I prefer book series over stand alone books.

Thank you very much for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It’s 3:30 in the morning in my neck of the woods and I am still unable to sleep. So, I have been reading Wonder Woman comics as well as Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am slowly getting through book but immensely enjoying it. Some people call me a “Geek” because of the types of books I read and I am okay with that title. Some people may find it offensive but I don’t.

Something I’ve been doing to get back to sleep is mindfulness and meditation. It helps me relax and most the time get back to sleep. Tonight its not helping so much on the sleep side of things however it is having me be in a relaxed state of mind which is always a good thing.

I’m grateful to have skills to help me through sleepless nights like this. My recovery may depend on me getting sleep however before recovery I would just say “Fuck It” and self harm or attempt suicide because it was getting to be too much to be in my head. Now I know what to do to no be in my own head as much.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Have a good night and/or day in you part of the world. Peace Out, World!!!

Not A So Good Night

Good Morning, World!!! I’m not having the best of nights. Nightmares are not my idea of a fun way to wake up any time. Dealing with trauma is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with especially the after effects of the initial trauma. Dealing with trauma is something a person will deal with the rest of their lives.

For me right now, dealing with my PTSD symptoms, I’ve been reading. Reading a great deal. Specifically, I am reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I think if it wasn’t for reading I would be stuck in my head dealing with the undesired events of my past.

As much as reading helps I really need to have a way to process. That’s where blogging comes in. So thank you for allowing me to process even though its so vague.

I think I’m going to go and read. Thank you for reading my blog in the middle of the night. It’s appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!