A Disturbing Way to Start a New Year by Coloring; Do a Disney Horror Coloring Book

Saw fart this is what I have what I have done with my start of my Disney Horror coloring books.

So, I ordered a morbid Disney graphic coloring book off of Amazon to have as I have love hate with relationship with Disney. I was going to see if my clients would want to do them as well. I quickly realized it would not be great for my clients to do. So I am have decided I will work on this particular horrific Disney coloring book myself and share my progress with you my reader. So here is the start of the first picture. I hope you like it so far. It will get more morbid as I do more pictures. I hope I can share this on a regular basis as I am sure the farther along I get in the coloring book the more morbid it gets. This is not the Disney I knew growing up near Disneyland. I’m pretty sure this is not the Disney any of knew in our childhood.

I don’t know have much more to say expect to say thank you for reading my blog plots. I appreciate it from my things that you read blog. If it wasn’t for you the reader I wouldn’t be writing my blog. Thank you again from reading my blog.. Peace Out, World!!!

Grateful for a Three Day Weekend

Good Morning, again, World!!! Not much has changed since my last blob post. I am still coloring a freaky, horrific Disney coloring book which is somewhat relaxing to me. As far as the Christmas/Holiday book my great aunt is loaning me to reading, I am slowly reading. Not as fast as she would like me to but at least I am reading it. The think that is interesting me the most is reading my Wonder Woman Comic books. I need to prefer comic books as well as science fiction and fantasy books and occasionally anima books.

Of course I plan on do doing the majority of things I mentioned above. I am sure Billie Dean my cat will sitting with me as I do want I plan. Of course Billie will would like to help. I love my cat so very much.

I do not not have much to more to say in in this particular blog post.. I do want to thank you for reading more blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of thing that you read my blog. If it was not for you reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. .So, again, thank you from the bottom of my by heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!!

A Random Middle of the Night Ramblings


Happy Middle of the night, World!!! I am unable to sleep once again when I should be sleeping and it suck shit. I highly don’t like not being able to sleep especially in the middle of the night. Not being able to sleep well affect my mental health a great deal which is why do have some skills I am able to do on sleepless nights.

So tonight’s skills will be doing art work while listening music like ACDC and Guns & Roses. I will be doing art work by coloring. Coloring Disney Horror scenes some that can be disturbing to others. I hope that I will be able to show you a completed Horror Disney page when I am done but just now it could be triggering to so some folks and not wise to chose children. I feel like it was perfect for me as I have a love hate relationship with Disney for many reasons. And yes I will be listening to some hard rock music while coloring Horror Disney pictures.

I am pretty sure my cat, Billie Deal will want to be helpful with with the coloring part of my plan. I love my cat Billie so much and how he is a a cuddle bug as well as a love but.

I don’t have much more to say in the particular blog post middle of the night rambling post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, do reading my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be writing my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope you all have great weekend and hope you are getting more sleep than I am. Good Night and Peace Out, World!!!

1,000 Days

     Happy Monday, Everyone!!! Today, marks 1,000 days since I was last discharged from a inpatient psych unit. Hence, the reason why I titled this blog entry 1,000 Days. For me 1,000 days is a major accomplishment. This is the longest that I have been out of the hospital for psych reasons since I was a teenager. Being out of the hospital for 1,000 days just shows on how much I have accomplished in my recovery and of course I had many people who have helped with this process.

     I guess if I really look back my recovery process started back in 1999. Yes, my recovery process started 15 years ago. I may have not been in recovery with my mental health for 15 years but I have been in recovery from the eating disorders for that long. In my late teens and early twenties I considered myself a Christian. In fact I was highly involved in the Christian community. I share this with you because its part of my story of how I am in recovery with both Anorexia and Bulimia. Being active in the church I was attending and being a huge “Christian” music fan at the time, I had heard of this place called Mercy Ministries. Mercy Ministries is a place for “troubled young women” with all sorts of issues including eating disorders. The thing that drew me to Mercy Ministries at the time was that it is Christian and free. At the time it was the best choice I made. In fact to this day I don’t regret making the decision to go all the way to Nashville from the West Coast of the United States. I did graduate from Mercy Ministries and it is one of the greatest accomplishments in my life. I as a thirty-something may not consider myself as Christian anymore and am happy that as a twenty-something Christian, I made one of the best decisions in my life. I may not agree that I was healed from Anorexia and Bulimia but I do believe that because of Mercy Ministries I am in recovery from both eating disorders. I haven’t had any relapses with either eating disorder but I do struggle on occasion with the urges of the eating disorders. I believe that both eating disorders are a life long struggle and it is a choice I make to give in to those urges or not. I choose to not give in to those urges.

     Now that you know where I my recovery started or at least with the eating disorders, now let me tell you about my mental health recovery. My mental health recovery is much more of a rollercoaster ride than my eating disorder recovery. My mental health recovery started October 2003 when I entered an intensive two year out patient Dialectical Behavior (DBT) program. At the time I entered the  DBT program I had been in and out of inpatient psych wards and hospitals more than 40 times. That’s more times than my current age. While being in the DBT program I was required to get a job which I am beyond grateful that I was required to do. In fact the job was a requirement for the second year of the DBT program I was in. If it wasn’t a requirement for me to get job I wouldn’t haven’t gotten a job and I am forever grateful that it was a requirement because I have been employed with same employer now for 9 years. The two years I was the program I only ended up in an inpatient unit once. I graduated from both years of the DBT program (first and second years).

      After I graduated from the DBT program in November 2005 I decided to go back to the current mental health agency I seek services at. Since going back to the current mental health agency in February of 2006, I have had a high turn over of clinicians and many more hospitalizations. In fact if it wasn’t for my last clinician switching to a different team in the agency, I wouldn’t have gotten my current therapist. I have had my current therapist since December of 2008. In fact Diana is the therapist I have had the longest in all the years I have been in therapy. Diana has helped me a great deal in the last 5 1/2 years. In fact if it wasn’t for  Diana helping me through the pain I have struggled with and still struggle with I wouldn’t have been able to stay out of the hospital for 1,000 days. Diana is one of many people who have helped me in the last 11 years. 

     Over last the last 11  or so years of mental health recovery I have found out a lot about myself. For instance when I was in DBT I realized that I am passionate about politics and got involved with it. I stopped for a long while when I started working and now I am wanting to get back into it. I also realized with one clinician I had that I am bi-sexual. I thank the universe that I figured out I was bi. Yes, my boyfriend know I am bi. I have also realized how much I love music and collecting comic books. I love Wonder Woman comic books. I got into collecting comic books. I am not only collecting Wonder Woman but Batman, Superman, Spiderman, and X Men. When I was in the height of my mental illness I stopped playing the flute and decided about 2 years ago to pick it back up and to start teaching myself to play the harmonica again. I also realized that I not only love rap and alternative music but country music as well. I also enjoy jazz. I also realized that I really enjoy reading and that I love reading Classic Literature. I tend to read memoirs and autobiographies of those who struggle or have struggled with mental  illness. I also enjoy reading mysteries, horror, sci fi and fantasy. I am telling you all this because when you are struggling with a mental illness you don’t realize what you like or enjoy and if you do know what you like or enjoy you forget about it because mental illness sucks the life out of you. One of the most important things I’ve learned is to educate myself about my particular diagnosis as well as the latest research regarding mental illness, therapies and meds. Another major thing I have learned or come to realize is to depend on my natural support system.

     Speaking of my natural support system they are throwing me a barbeque because of being out of the hospital for 1,000 days. They know its a big deal for me. I just wish they weren’t making it out to be a bigger deal than it really is. This small barbeque is turning out to be a party. I just wanted it to be about 12 or so people. Apparently there are more than twenty people coming because they want to celebrate my success of 1,000 days. I know its a big deal but I wish they weren’t making it out to be a big deal.

     I better get going. I need to get ready for the barbeque. I am suppose to be there at 5:30(pacific time) and its now 4:22pm. I should get going and allow my support system to celebrate this day with me. Peace Out Everyone!!