Midnight Ramblings

Hello, World!!! I have trouble comprehending why I have such a difficult time at night. Not just with sleep but with the symptoms of anxiety and depression. I am struggling a little bit with depression and anxiety relating to PTSD. Dealing with symptoms this time of night when your natural supports are unavailable for whatever reason can be difficult and challenging for me.

As challenging as it is for me right now, I know what I can do to help myself. I can turn to my coping skills. Coping skills that have helped me a great deal throughout my recovery. Coping skills that will continue to help me even in this moment in time.

One of the things I will do is color. As any type of art has helped me a great deal. In fact I’ll probably end doing some collaging as well because it helps me put words to my emotions.

Another thing I will be doing is a mindfulness and meditation practice as this helps quiet my mind. It puts me in a better head space. A head space that is at least in neutral gear.

Thanks for reading. Peace Out, World!!!


Mr. Sandman Skipped Me, Again

Hello, World!!! I am having trouble sleeping once again. I’m getting frustrated with not being able to sleep. Sleeping is vital to one’s recovery or at least mine which is why I am wanting to be able to get a decent nights sleep.

Since I am unable to sleep I have been working on one of my workbooks. Actually, I think I’ll work on the mindfulness workbook as it might help me get into a wiser mind. Mindfulness has been helping me with a great deal of things like sleep.

After doing a workbook I think I’ll read a few pages in my book. I am really wanting to finish is soon. I have only been reading ten to twenty pages at a time due to lack of concentration from depression.

Depression sucks just as much as insomnia but that is why I am doing some things this next week to help with them. Things that I didn’t put in my Weekly Plans post as I realized that I could do the activities after I posted it. The activities that will help with the depression are peer run groups at a peer run community center.

Thank you for reading. Have a good work week everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Saturday Morning Depression

Good Morning, World!!! I’ve been awake for several hours now. I am a wee bit depressed. Not sure what is causing it but I sure in the hell know that the crappy weather isn’t helping. I just wish I wasn’t dealing with the depression however it is a reality I have to deal with.

A reality that is having me focus on good self care as well as doing DBT skills. In fact I feel like my DBT skills are self care. Or at least a form of self care. I am needing do some self-soothing skills as well as some distracting skills.

One of the skills, I’ll be doing is drinking tea which is self soothing for me. Another skill I am going to use is read the news paper which is somewhat of a distraction skill for me. I know it seems like a weird combination to do at the same time but it helps me if I start my day out like that.

I am also going to be going to the mall with a friend today. I am not a big mall person but this is an “out of the box” thing my therapist wanted me to come up with. Going to the mall will be challenging for me but it will be helpful for me as well.

Something that I have already done to help with my depression as well as my anxiety is some meditation and mindfulness practices. Since I have been doing the mindfulness and meditation on the regular basis, I have noticed some lessening of the anxiety or least lessening of the intensity of the anxiety.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Morning of Self Care

Good Morning (again), World!!! I am feeling slightly better than my last post. That is because I have done some good self care for myself. Self care that put me into a better head space.

I first did some mindfulness and meditation practice. This tends to help me focus on different aspects of my life. Aspects of my life that include me being in a better head space.

After my mindfulness and meditation practice I had some tea while reading the news paper. As usual there was really no real good news. Sports wise my favorite is doing well right now. But it is only the beginning of the season.

Now I am about to head out to have an appointment with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. I hope she is good. I hope she stays. I, of course of some anxiety over this appointment but that is why I have done what I have done as mentioned above.

I need to get going to my appointment. Have a great day and peace out world!!!

Another Night Sleepless in Seattle

Good Morning, World!!! It is two o’clock in the morning and I am struggling with sleep once again. It’s raining out again. I love the sound of rain especially when I am unable to sleep. Listening to the rain helps me do mindfulness and meditation practices.

Another thing I have been doing since I am unable to sleep is reading. Reading is helping not dwell on the fact that I am unable to sleep. Reading also helps me relax enough to hopefully help me get to sleep. Since I want to get back to sleep I think I’ll get back to reading.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight & Peace Out, World!!!

An Idea or Two About Structure

Hello, World!!! I was doing a mindfulness exercise and realized that if helps me in the late evening then it will help me in the morning as well. So, I think I am going to start my day with a mindfulness exercise or least do it pretty early on to the start of my day. As I was thinking about this I remember the conversation I had with my therapist during our session yesterday about how I do better with structure.

After thinking about the conversation I had yesterday, I pulled out my calendar and started penciling in things that I would like the do and things I need to. I plan on filling out next week and show it to my new therapist.

Mindfulness is one of the things I plan on doing both during the morning and late evening. I also plan on continuing drinking tea while reading the news paper in the morning. Another thing I want to do on the more regular basis is to do my workbooks. I feel like if I do this it will help me help myself and get to where I want in my recovery. I also hope to discuss my work in the workbooks with my therapist. These are just a few ideas I would like to do to build some structure in my life.

Thank you for reading about my ideas. Peace Out, World.

Feeling Better

Good Evening, World!!! Today, I have been dealing with a lot of depression. I realized this about an hour and a half ago. I realized why my depression was acting up a little today. I had forgotten to do my meditation and mindfulness practice this morning. So, I did my practice and now I feel better. Today’s topic was love and kindness and how it is okay to self soothe. Meditation and mindfulness self soothes me and is a self care act for me.

After I did my meditation and mindfulness, I watched a few episodes of M*A*S*H. It made me laugh so I hard, I almost peed my pants. Humor helps me a great deal. M*A*S*H reminds me of my childhood when I would watch it with my dad.

It is time to get back to watching M*A*S*H. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!!