Blogging in Pain While Being Mindful

Good Afternoon, World!!! I sit here typing primarily with one hand and it is quite challenging. Long story short last Friday, (November 8th), I injured my hand and wrist. I tripped over my poor cat, Lil Gertie. Thankfully, my cat, Lil Gertie, is just fine and being her usual self. Sadly, I am the one who got injured but am beyond grateful that Lil Gertie was not injured. Like I mentioned at the beginning I injured my wrist and hand. I went to the Emergency Room (ER) and got it x-rayed and unfortunately it was too swollen to notice any type of broken bone or fracture. Both the resident and attending believe I could have some form of fracture which is why they put my wrist a supportive type thing I can take on and off but want me to keep it on till I am able to get it re-x-rayed which is going to happen this Friday (November 15th). If it is fractured I will get a cast if not I will continue wearing what I have and go to physical therapy. They put me on some pretty powerful pain meds. I am not taking them as often as my doctor would like because I fear of getting addicted but my doctor is grateful that I am taking them with the help of other things. For instance I am also taking over the counter (otc) meds like Tylenol and Ibuprofen as well as icing my wrist and doing some mindfulness and mediation. I may be in a pain but at least I am able to get through it.

As I mentioned one of the ways I am helping with the pain is doing some mindfulness and meditation. I am primarily using the Calm App to do this. I have found that the Calm App to be quite helpful. The primary narrator is Tamara Levitt. She has en extremely calming voice.  The Calm App is a free app and you can also subscribe to it annually to receive more mindfulness techniques which is something I have done. I really enjoy doing mindfulness meditation now. I have found it quite helpful for my recovery with my mental health challenges as well as with my health. Yes, it is sometimes challenging to take time out of your day to do mindfulness and/or meditation but it helps start the day off right as well as to end the day off right. I schedule to do it twice a day and try to make an effort to do it more than twice daily.

Something else I have been doing lately beside mindfulness meditation is art. The type of art I have specifically been doing is painting. I have been painting some abstracts that are looking pretty cool. It is something I can do with my good hand and wrist. Painting and other type of art help me a great deal with letting out emotions I am unable to speak which is essence helps me with my recovery.

I don’t have much else to say and am in physical pain so I will end this post. I hope everyone has a good rest of your day. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. In fact I hope everyone has a great rest of their week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Late Friday Night Post

Happy Friday, World!!! It is 11:40 at night on a Friday and I am taking a brief break from doing some art work. Specifically, I am taking a break from coloring. I enjoy coloring immensely. Coloring is a type of mindfulness and meditation practice for me.

Part of the reason why I am taking a break from coloring at the moment is that I realize that I am hungry and am eating a snack. In fact, I am having an avocado with sour cream and a cheese quesadilla with sour cream. I know it is late to be eating but I am hungry and thought a snack would be a good idea especially since I am not tired and have a feeling I’ll be up late tonight.

My cat, Lil Gertie, is enjoying the fact that I am not in bed yet. She is enjoying it because she is getting plenty of attention and play time during a time she is typically is awake wondering around the apartment. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I am so grateful that I adopted her nearly a year and a half ago. It has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life.

As I was eating and writing this blog as well as coloring I have been listening a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, the philosophy podcast I am listening to is Philosophize This. I highly recommend it. I am learning so much about philosophy and even some about history with this particular podcast. I really enjoy the podcast Philosophize This because I am intrigued with what is being discussed.

I think I am going to continue to listen to it till I am caught up to the most recent episode but it will take a while to get caught up. As I listen to the philosophy podcast I will be coloring. As I have mentioned before coloring is form of mindfulness and meditation for me. It helps me get in a good mindset. I really love coloring and plan on giving what I colored to people who I care about as well as to people who have helped me in the past. I am hoping that the big poster that I am coloring to be able to give it to my therapist but it is a slow process at this point in time. Coloring is something I never out grew and never stopped doing. I use to get laughed at in junior high and high school because I colored and now adult coloring is the in thing to do. I am glad I never stopped coloring even though I was bullied for it.

I don’t have much else to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I really hope that everyone enjoys their weekend. For those in the United States, I hope you enjoy your three day weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Post About Things

Good Afternoon, World!!! I am still dealing with the symptoms of both PTSD and Depression which sucks shit. I wish I didn’t have to deal with any mental health diagnosis but sadly I do. There is not much I can do about having a mental health diagnosis except to use healthy coping skills.

Coping skills such as doing mindfulness and meditation practices. In fact this particular skill is something that I make an effort to do every morning on a way to start my day as I find if I quiet my mind at the beginning of the day, my day tends to be a more skillful day to where I can handle things more easily. I also try to use it throughout the day as mindfulness and meditation appears to help me reconnect with the present moment.

The thing I have been doing most of today that I have found quite helpful is writing. I am taking a creative writing class that is put on by an organization that puts on art and creative type of classes for low income people. Anyway, this quarter I am taking a creative writing class that focuses on characters and scenes but mainly characters and no it is not a play writing class. The organization that is putting on this class offers a variety of classes every quarter but you are only allowed to take one and this is the same organization I took my comics class with. Anyway, the instructor of the writing class assigns us homework so he can make comments on it so we know what to improve upon and what he thinks is great. The homework is not for grading but for feedback. I am really enjoying the class so far.

As much as I love to write, I was starting to come to a type of writers block in regards to my writing homework so I stopped and decided to do some things that needed to be done. One of those things that I needed to do was to make a doctors appointment with my primary care physician for my regular check up I have every two to three months. In fact I am about a month and a half over due for this appointment. After making my doctors appointment I went and picked up my meds. My psychiatric provider wants me to pick up my psych meds twice a week. So I pick them up ever Monday and Friday. There are reasons I will discuss at a later time on why I pick up my psych meds twice a week. I am not a big fan of it but if it is helpful for my recovery then I am willing to do so.

Now, I am about to go on to Spotify to listen to a podcast. Specifically, I will be listening to a podcast about philosophy. The philosophy podcast I will be listening to is Philosophize This. I am learning so much about philosophy from this particular podcast and am grateful for the learning for many different reasons. One such reason is it gives me something to discuss with others.

Since I will be listening to a podcast on philosophy I will also be coloring. I will be coloring the color page I have discussed with you as well as shared with you of what I had done. In fact I finally finished the bridge in the picture. In fact let me share with you what I have done thus far. The picture below is what I have accomplished so far:

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The picture I showed you in an earlier post except the bridge was just barely started and now the bridge is finished.

As you can tell from the picture above the bridge is complete but I have so much more coloring to do in the picture. I think, I will either work on the tree or the river next. Not sure what yet but will get to that once I turn on the philosophy podcast I am listening to.

Now that I have bored you to death with what I do to help myself when my PTSD and Depression act up, I am going to end this post. I also want to end the post so I can list to the philosophy podcast as well as color. But before I go, I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things as if it was for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog and I would only journal. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Peace Out, World!!!

A Friday Morning Post From a Tired Person

Good Morning, World!!! I have been awake since 3:33 this morning due to a nightmare. A nightmare my cat woke me up from before it could get worse. Somehow my cat is acutely aware of when I am having a nightmare. My cat, Lil Gertie, tend to wake me up from nightmares by either licking one of my big toes or my nose till I fully wake up. When I finally wake up, Lil Gertie is by my side snuggling with me till my anxiety decreases due to PTSD. Having PTSD sucks shit and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

One of the first things I did as I snuggled with Lil Gertie was do a mindfulness and meditation exercise. I did this with the help of an app on my phone called Calm. It was an app that was suggest by a good friend of mine a couple of years ago that I attempt to use quite often. Not as often as I want or should but I am starting to use it on the daily basis as it is quite helpful when I use it everyday.

After doing about twenty minutes of mindfulness and meditation I turned on some music that is focused on meditation to listen to as I pulled out a coloring page to coloring. I didn’t do much but what I did do was somewhat challenging as I was trying to do some shading to make the bridge look a bit more realistic. Sadly, part of it isn’t shaded and hopefully when I am finished with the bridge and the rest of the picture the lack of shading on the part of the bridge that wasn’t shaded won’t be noticeable. The below picture is the coloring page/poster I am doing.

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The coloring page / poster I am coloring at the moment. It is extremely detailed and will take time to finish.

Right now as I am writing this blog post, I have the morning news on. It’s been mostly local news with weather and traffic. Thankfully, no mention of President Trump. I am not a big fan of Trump for many reasons and am grateful when the news doesn’t mention him especially with the hatred he spews.

Since I am on the topic of Trump I didn’t appreciate the fact that earlier this week that he blamed the mass shootings on mental illness when we all know it was done by white racist men who aren’t mentally ill. Racism is not a mental illness and people with mental health challenges are not “Twisted Monsters” or “Mentally Ill Monsters.” It boggles my mind that Trump doesn’t realize that most mass shootings in America are done by white men who are NOT mentally ill. I have more to say about this but will discuss it later as it is now 7:00 in the morning and I want to try to get some sleep after having been woken up at 3:33 in the morning.

As I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a good Friday. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Depressed on a Beautiful Sunny Monday

Good Morning, World!!! It is a beautiful Monday morning in Seattle and all I feel like doing is sleeping the day away due to the fact that my depression appears to be acting up. All I want to do is curl up in bed and just stay there. I am not sure why my depression is acting up but it is something to keep an eye on.

Since I am depressed and feel like sleeping and/or curled up in bed all day, I am in need of doing some good self care today. Self care that includes several basic things that people tend to take for granted. Things like eating. When I am depressed I tend to not eat which is not a good thing which means I personally need to focus on eating. Eating healthy yet comforting foods.

Another form of good self care for me is to do some art work. Specifically coloring. For me coloring is a type of mindfulness as well as meditation. When you color being mindful of what you are coloring is key. It is also a type of meditation as it can have a meditative aspect to it.

I do not have much more to say. I just know I need to eat breakfast as well as take a shower. I have not taken a shower since Wednesday evening and I know I am stinking. I am thinking I am going to have Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal. Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal is semi-healthy and very much a comfort food for me.

I think I am going to end this post as I really need to make sure I need to eat. Plus, I need to take a shower and go get my meds from the pharmacy. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am extremely appreciative of you reading my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day as well as a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

This is how I am when I’m starting to dissociate & I hope it’s educational for you as I fight against it.

Happy Monday and Good Evening, World!!! It is an absolutely, amazingly, beautiful day here in Seattle and I have been enjoying it to the best of my ability. Sadly, I am partly in reality and partly fighting against the dissociative state I am slowly getting in. Being is a dissociated state even a partial one is never good thing for me.

So, I went for a walk and a listened to some great music. As I was walking listening to music, I realized I was starting to dissociate and stopped in my tracks to go back home. As I walked back up I did a walking mindfulness and meditation exercise as I walked back home. As I walked through the door to my apartment my cat instantly knew something was wrong so she did was she needed to do and it helped great deal for me to get more it reality than I wasn’t in. Hell, I am still trying to get back into a hundred percent reality. Not sure why I am fighting so hard with the dissociation right now. I just want to enjoy the nice Seattle weather by taking a walk. I have done some mindfulness and meditation practices since I am hope and it is not help all that much at the moment. My cat is helping a great deal. Just focusing on her, my cat is quite helpful.

Now, I am just going to play some music and do some art. I will also play my flute. When I play my flute and/or do art, it helps me get out what I need to so I am able to be fully in reality and not in a dissociative state. Art and music always help. I might do some art outside since it is a beautiful weather day here in Seattle. I just cant go for a walk or I could forget how to get home and I don’t want that so that’s why I’m going to do art on this beautiful sunny day in Seattle in the community porch for the people who live in my apartment building.

Of course I will be spending more time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she appears to know how to help me when I am in a dissociative state. She is an amazing cat that has helped me a great deal with when I am in a true dissocive  state like I am now. I really don’t let myself go when I am writing. I guess now people can see how hard it is for me.

I am thinking I am needing to end this post so I can do my art and spend time with my cat. Have a great Monday everyone.I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Today’s assignment for Finding Everyday Inspiration is to write a list. We were given a list of topics to use for idea’s for a list. I chose from one of the topics as it resonates with me.

Things I Have Learned:

  1.  How to meditate, as it has helped bring peace in my life.
  2. How to do mindfulness. This has helped me calm my mind and bring peace to my life.
  3. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills as this has helped me a great deal with my recovery with mental health challenges.
  4. Learned how to read music when I learned how to play the flute. Playing the flute and reading music has helped me in many areas of my life. Music was the first way I learned how to express myself and my emotions.
  5. Learned how to play the harmonica. If I didn’t learn how to play the flute and read music I would have never learn to play the harmonica. This too has helped me in many areas of my life. Just like playing the flute it helps me express myself and my emotions.
  6. I learned the are of writing poetry. This has helped me express myself in ways people can relate to.
  7. I learned how to paint. In fact I am still learning how to paint. This has helped me express myself when I am unable to use words to express myself.
  8. I am in the middle of learning how to enjoy life even when difficult situations arise. I hope that someday I will be better at this especially among the difficult times.
  9. I learned how to do self care and how to appreciate it. This has helped me a great deal in my recovery
  10. I learned how to accept another persons love. In fact this is something I am still learning how to do. My cat, Lil Gertie, is helping a great deal with this as I have accepted other people’s love a lot easier since I adopted her. It is still a challenge for me but it has become easier since adopting my cat, Lil Gertie.