It Is Yet Another Monday

Good Morning, World!!! It is another Monday which is the start of another work week. The last full work week before Christmas. This is the time of year where many people are under stress due to the holidays. It is also the time of year where many others who have mental health challenges it because that much more stressful and anxiety provoking especially when family is involved. It is my hope for the next eight days that everyone can be able to do some good self care as the Christmas holiday is coming quickly upon us.

The one thing I was hoping to do today was attend art group but unfortunately I have a dental appointment today and it was the only one available before the New Year so I took it. It is for the the dentist to take moldings of my teeth and after that I make an appointment to get my teeth pulled as they all need to be taken out. I however will wait till the new year to get my teeth pulled. I am not looking forward to it but if it will help me eat better to get better nutrition and feel better about myself then I will do it. I just really wanted to go to art group today as art group won’t happen on the 24th or  31st due to the fact that the group facilitators will be out of town.

After my dental appointment this afternoon, I am going shopping for Christmas gifts. I highly dislike shopping especially this time of year because everyone is so rude or at least the other shoppers appear to be rude. Another reason why I highly dislike shopping for gifts is because it always appears that the gifts I give are always returned or re-gifted. Which is why I tend to give cash or gift cards then that way the person receiving the gift can get what they want or need. Plus, then my family can’t argue that I spent more on one person than the other cause they can check the cash or the gift card to see how much it is.

But before I go to the dentist or shopping, I will be going to go get my meds. Meds that I really don’t like taking but do. I take them because I know they ultimately help me with my recovery. They are the primary reason for my recovery but are part of what helps with my recovery. Taking meds sucks but if they are helpful to my recovery then I will take them.

Before I get my meds I need to do some very basic self care stuff. I need to eat breakfast. I also need to take a shower as I haven’t taken a shower in about four days which means my depression symptoms are starting to increase. So doing basic self care items like eating, showering and evening making my bed are quite helpful for me in battling the symptoms of my mental health challenges.

Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a great Monday and most importantly a great work week. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

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A Monday With Struggles & Other Randomness

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been a Monday full of struggles. Struggles that are of concern to me as well as my therapist. I went into my mental health agency to attend a group and was able to briefly check in with my therapist. My therapist has some concerns about the increase of depression symptoms and self harm urges. We only talked for about an half an hour as we have an hour appointment tomorrow.

As concerned as my therapist is with increased symptoms he was “happy” that I decided to show up for a group today. Not just any group but Art Group. My therapist thinks doing art is therapeutic for me and I agree with him. It puts me in a better head space even just all so slightly at times. I am extremely grateful that I attended art group today.

I have been doing some good self care since I got home from my brief check in with my therapist and art group. I came home and immediately put my pajamas on and made hot chocolate.  As I sat down with my hot chocolate my cat, Lil Gertie, jumped into my lap. Drinking hot chocolate and petting my cat are two very good self care activities for me especially at the same time.

Now I think it is time to go. I need to get me something to eat. It is time for dinner. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I want to thank you for continuing to read my blog and enjoying what I have to say. I do not have much more to say in this post. So, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Still Struggling This Monday Morning

Good Morning, World!!! It is still Monday morning in my corner of the world and unfortunately I am still struggling with depression symptoms which sucks shit. Since my last post and since I am still struggling I decided to email my therapist in hopes that he will call me at some point today to check in with me even though I have an appointment with him tomorrow (Tuesday) afternoon. My therapist is usually pretty good with checking in with me when I email and/or call him when I am struggling.

Since, it is only ten o’clock in the morning in my corner of the world and am waiting for my therapist to get back to me, I have managed to do some self care. The self care includes me cleaning out the cat’s litter box (yes, I know that is weird), taking a shower and getting me some food to eat. The shower was quite helpful as I had not taken a shower since Friday evening. I had left over pizza for breakfast.

Another thing I have done since my last post as I wait for my therapist to call me from the email I sent is I went and picked up my meds. I am still on weekly med pick ups and I hope when I see my psychiatric nurse practitioner next week that she will be willing put me back on monthly med pick ups. I am grateful that I don’t have to pick up my meds from my mental health agency and am even more grateful that they aren’t daily pick ups.

Now, I think I am going to spend time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she has been attempting to get my attention as I have been writing this post. I love my cat very much. This is my first holiday season with her and I plan on spoiling her for Christmas. She is going to be receiving a lot of toys.

I don’t have much else to say in  this post. I want to thank you for reading as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I am grateful for each one of you for reading my blog.  Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone continues to have a great Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week. For those who celebrate Hanukkah, I hope your last days of your holiday are well celebrated. Peace Out, World!!!

A Saturday With An Unexpected Stresser

Good Morning, World!!! I had a nice and relaxing Friday evening which was a much needed form of self care for me last night. If you are wondering what I am talking about just read my last post. I am grateful that I decided to spend my Friday evening the way I did.

The reason why I am grateful for my nice and relaxing self care Friday evening was because when I woke up this morning and checked Facebook, I saw friend saying she needed “help and felt like nobody cares and the world would be better off” without her. I unfortunately don’t have her new phone number or I would have called her to see if she is okay. From her Facebook post, even though she didn’t directly say it, I would suspect that she has suicide on her mind. But there is no way of knowing as she is thinking about it as she didn’t directly say so in her Facebook post but her post did send up red flags for me as she is possibly suicidal. I did leave her a positive comment as well as a private message. In the private message, I did give her a couple of crisis numbers she could call as well as my phone number.  I think my friend is dealing with some depression as this is the time of year that her depression acts up.

Even though having my friend being vague in a Facebook post and it kind of stressing me out, I realized that I am in need of doing some good self care again. So, I made me some hot chocolate. Chocolate always seems to soothe me. I, of course realized that part of good self care is getting some food into me as I am hungry so I am eating a bowl of Rice Krispies. Granted cereal isn’t the best breakfast but at least it is food. So, having Rice Krispies and hot chocolate is both comfort food for me as well as good self care.

I don’t have much more to say in the post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it weren’t for you my reader, I wouldn’t continue to blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

500 Followers

Hello, World!!! Today, I received my 500th follower here on my blog. It has taken me quite awhile to get to my 500th follower but I am beyond grateful to have any followers at all. In fact May of 2019 will mark five years since I started blogging. So, I feel like an average of 100 followers per year is a good number.

Besides getting my 500th follower I went into my local mental health agencies day treatment today as I had nothing better to do. Part of the reason why I went today was because I wanted to attend the Open Communication Group. I feel like it could and will be helpful to attend this group. I attended it today and enjoyed it even though it was on a topic I had to go to a training about for work. To bad I couldn’t get paid to attend the group. Another thing that I did at the mental health agency I am a client of was have a brief check in with my therapist. I had a handful of rough moments today and thought a check in was needed. Thankfully, my therapist was available for a check in or I would have had to have a check in with the on call clinician. My therapist and I discussed what was the cause of the rough moments and came up with a plan to do some good self care.

Well, I was asked today if I could work tomorrow night (Thursday) and I said yes. I really don’t want to work tomorrow (Thursday) and have already done my one on call shift for the month of November but I need the extra money for holiday gifts for my friends and family. Plus, it helps with getting good references when I start applying for new jobs within the next month or two. I might apply for one on Friday but not sure yet. I really cant handle this on call stuff especially when it is a night shift. So since I work tomorrow (Thursday) night, I will attempt to pull an all niter tonight so I can sleep during the day tomorrow (Thursday).

I don’t have much more to say in this particular post. I just want to thank you all for following my blog. It is very much appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great night. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Nothing But The Boring Shit I Did Today

Hello, World!!! It has been a busy Tuesday for me. I had a three appointments today which I am all grateful for. They just wore me out.

I, first had an appointment with my regular doctor for our every two week check up. This is to help keep me out of the Emergency Room for both physical health and mental health stuff. Unfortunately, my next appointment with my doctor is going to me for my oh so not very lovely yearly exam. At least I’m not forty yet so I don’t have to worry about a mammogram as of right now.

I then saw my therapist for our weekly session and it well. We discussed a lot of topic regarding family and holidays. For me that is what needs to be discussed to help me put in a good self care. For me doing self care is especially important any time of the but more so during the holidays. So my therapist and I are going to come up with more ways for good way for me to do good self care when I am at my families places during the holidays.

I then saw my employment specialist. We specifically discussed my job and how it wasn’t turning out like I thought it would be. I’m not guaranteed a shift every week. It is an on call position that is at night. If I had a regular schedule with a I night shift I think I would be fine with it but it is not a regular shift so my employment specialist and I are looking for other jobs for me at the moment. We found one that would be great for me for now. Since my flash drive broke I have to rebuild my resume which is okay for me.

I am attempting to keep this post short as I am sleepy. I hope everyone has had a good Tuesday. I hope to blog again tomorrow (Wednesday). Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Good night and Peace Out, World!!!

Sunday Morning Blues

Good Morning, World!!! I know its been a couple of hours since I last posted but things changed quite quickly. Yes, I did finish reading the new paper and watching the morning news as well as doing my chores.

Unfortunately, as I was doing my household chores, I started becoming in crisis mode. That means I have urges to self harm. I did call the crisis team of the agency I seek services at and came up with a safety plan. A safety plan that I hope I am able to keep. I can promise you all that if I can not keep my safety plan that I will go to the hospital. I am NOT suicidal. I just feel like self harming. Again, if I am unable to stay safe I WILL take myself to the hospital. Part of my safety plan, I already mentioned in my last post at that is to read the fantasy book that I decided to start reading again since I never finished the book. I am looking forward to spending time in a good book and get my mind off of the shit of self harming. I hope that reading this fantasy book will do the trick

Another part of my safety plan is being around my cat, Lil Gertie. That means playing with her as well as cuddling with. That also means giving her some pets and loves. And of course cleaning out her litter box which I already did this morning. I clean it out twice a day. I have already fed her, her wet food and she has access to her dry food 24/7 so I know she won’t starve. So yes I have already taken care of her needs for the day except for her evening litter box cleaning. Now its time for me to cuddle up to her as well as play with her. That is if she is up to it as she is a cat.

Another thing I came up with the crisis clinician is to work on my art work. We decided that both coloring and painting would be quite helpful to me. I also informed the crisis clinician that I can combine painting and collaging as it mixes genres and is really cool looking. She thought that doing art is a great way to express myself especially with that of the mixture of genres.

The last part of my safety plan was and is to blog. In fact it was the first thing I decided to do as part of my safety plan so I could inform all of you my reader of my current struggles despite getting a good nights sleep and a good start to the day. Sometimes the struggles of a mental health challenge can come out of the blue despite how well it started. Blogging is quite helpful for me to hold myself accountable to others. Just as reminder, if the urges to self harm get stronger there is no need to worry about me as I will take myself to the hospital as well as call the crisis worker I talked to back. So, I do have an added safety plan to the safety plan I am informing you of. So, for me as I already mentioned helps me be accountable to others yet I don’t want others to worry about me.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. You my reader are all awesome in my eyes. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

(Side Note: Yes, I know I have mentioned it already, I am NOT suicidal. If I feel like I am unable to keep myself safe I will call the crisis worker back or take myself to the hospital or in worse case scenario, I will call 911. I just want make sure you all know that I have a back up plan.)