Everyday Inspiration; Day 4: A Story in a Single Image

A woman in the woods. (Not me in the picture.)

Walking through the woods is in itself a mindfulness meditation practice. Being one with nature can help with ones stress level. For me personally, being nature like walking in the woods like the woman in picture helps me deal with many of the symptoms of my mental health challenges. Oh how I wish I could go walk through the woods on the weekly basis but sadly it is not an option. Being in the woods or any form of nature put a person at peace and is a form of self-care. Self-care in nature is key to dealing with stress. Oh how I wish I could be back walking through the peaceful woods. Glad I had the opportunity to walk through the woods over my birthday weekend.

Everyday Inspiration; Day 2: Write A List

Things I’ve Learned In Recovery

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills
  • Setting boundaries
  • The love my family has for me
  • Friends and family I can depend on
  • To not take life too seriously
  • Some days are going to be tougher than other days and that is okay
  • Mistakes are teachable moments as well as lessons learned
  • It’s okay if the only I thing do is get out of bed; some days are going to be like that
  • Helping others helps me; but make sure I put myself first or I might not be able to help others in a health way
  • Working helps me with my recovery and gives me a sense of purpose
  • Volunteering not only helps with my depression and other diagnosis it helps the community at large
  • Building a community the accepts me as me
  • Being in more that one community is a good thing
  • Having an emotional support animal (ESA) to take care  to help with depression (currently my cat, Billie Dean)
  • Doing self care is not selfish

Self-Care Saturday

Good Afternoon, World!!! Today has been a day of self care and I dubbed today as Self-Care Saturday. I didn’t realize I was actually to a couple of friends over a Zoom call and the let informed me that I was doing self-care. We discussed that doing self-care is a very good thing even when we are doing well. As my two friends and I discussed self-care I realized that doing self-care when I am well like I am now will help do good self-care when I am not doing so well.

One of the ways, I have done self-care today is attended three twelve-step meetings over Zoom. One of the meetings is based here in the Seattle area while another is based in London, England and the other is based in Sydney, Australia. So, I have been attending twelve-step meetings all of the world today. The twelve-step program I am in is awesome and has both twelve-step principles and peer recovery principles. I think the reason why I love this particular twelve-step program is because it feels more like a peer recovery program than a twelve-step program.

Another way I have been doing self-care today is doing artwork. Specifically the type of artwork I have been doing is coloring. Coloring has been a great way for me to do self-care. It is a way for me do mindfulness and in a way a meditation. I have always enjoyed coloring and love to do it. It brings me joy and connects me with my inner-child. An inner-child that needs to be healed and is being healed with all the work I am doing in my recovery.

As I colored, I listened to music. Music that brings me so much joy. Today, as I colored I listened to my “Childhood Memories” playlist that is over sixteen hours long. I don’t remember how many song on my “Childhood Memories” playlist at the moment. I’m grateful that I chose my “Childhood Memories” playlist along with the coloring helped with the healing process of healing my inner-child.

Of course part of my self-care is my cat Billie Dean. Billie is such a help to me. He knows exactly know when I need attention from him. I also can’t imagine what my life would be like without him. I love having Billie lay in my lap as I type this blog post. I think he is needing some connection right now and I am grateful that he is such a lap cat.

Something Billie likes is when I eat chicken for a meal and I ordered a big bucket meal from Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). The big bucket meal will feed me for five meals including breakfast. Of course when I eat the chicken I will share it with my cat, Billie.

I do not have much more to say in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of your Saturday as well as your weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check-In

Good Evening, World!!! This week has been quite an emotional week here in America. An emotional week regarding the political environment and tensions are extremely high at the moment. Sadly, supporters of a certain candidate breached the Capital Building for the first time over two hundred years. These people even made their way to the House and Senate Chambers. Many Americans are extremely angered by this including me. It angered me personally because if it was a group of people who are of color, there would have been more of a police presence. The other thing that angers me as well as the President of the United States was the one that egged this group of people on. The events of what happened at the United States Capital was just fucking uncalled for.

The events of what happened politically happened the same day my cat, Billie Dean went to the vet for some dental cared. The good news is that Billie didn’t need his two canine teeth pulled. The worrisome news is that his kidney level numbers are slightly elevated. The vet said that it is nothing to worry about at the moment and that getting another blood test done in about six weeks to see where the levels are at is what is needed. The vet said if the numbers stay the same or get lower then the only thing that is needed is blood work every six months to make sure Billie’s kidney levels are not increasing and this is my hope of what happens. If the next blood test show that Billie’s kidney levels do increase then he will need to be on a special prescription kidney diet. This is why I asked Billie’s vet to do blood work on Billie since he was already getting dental work done so I can see where his baseline is or if something did come like it did then we can get it under control sooner than later. Billie’s vet likes the fact that I am being proactive about his health care especially once Billie is eight years old, he will be getting routine blood work done as he will be considered a senior. On that note Billie isn’t even seven yet. He will be seven in late March. I am happy that I am being proactive in my cat, Billie’s health as he is my baby and I love him so very much.

On top of what went on this week regarding the political unrest and my cat, Billie going to the vet this was my first full forty hour work week at my new employer. It was quite a week at work for many reasons. Yes, it was challenging and it wore me out but I love my new job. I am so happy that I have this job opportunity as I am really enjoying this job.

I also had therapy this week and it went well. My therapist and I discussed the new job, the holidays and a few other things including self care. We discussed self care because he wants to make sure I am doing it so my mental health doesn’t decline. I appreciate this as I also don’t want my mental health to decline. Self care is a major part of staying healthy. I am happy that my therapist and I discussed self care as it helped me focus on what I need to do for self care.

One of the things that came to mind for self care was writing and poetry which led me to starting the WordPress course of Intro to Poetry earlier today. Read and writing poetry is a major form of self care for me so that is why I started this course. It is a ten day course about writing poetry. It helps me be creative. It helps keep my mental health challenges in check which is why it is a form of self care for me.

I don’t have much more to say in this weeks, Weekly Check In. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

2021 Goals

Good Morning, World!!! It is officially the second day of the new year and as I stated in my last post, I would post my goals for this year. I set goals for the year and not resolutions. I make goals because I am more likely to accomplish them than a resolution. Not only that, goals are ever changing and resolutions not so much or at least that is how it is for me. My goals for 2021 are:

~ Finish The Mindfulness Workbook

~ Complete two workbooks (not including the above mentioned)

~ Clean apartment and maintain cleanliness

~ Maintain new job as a peer

~ Blog an average of twice a month

~ Read six books

~ Walk once daily

~ Mindfulness/Meditation practice twice daily

~ Continue to volunteer at PAWS Cat City

~ Reduce the amount of soda I drink

~ Go out of town at least one night every two months

~ Buy new laptop for myself

I realize I have many goals for myself this coming year. I am planning accomplishing them and when I do, I most likely will add another goal for myself. Something I do on the first of every month throughout the year is reevaluate my goals.

I don’t have much more to say about my goals and will end this particular blog post. Before I end I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Gloomy Weather + Art + A Cat + Therapy = A Day of Self Care

Good Afternoon, World!!! I finally got some sleep. Not much sleep but some. I am grateful for the little sleep I did get. Sleep is key for me to help maintain the mental health symptoms of the diagnosis’s I have.

In all honesty my mood fits today’s weather here in Seattle. It is gray and gloomy which is how I feel at the moment. My gloomy mood most likely has something to do with the lack of sleep however it is something to be aware of as a just in case. A just in case depression symptoms start increasing. On that note, I am sort of glad the weather fits my gloomy mood because it means I can just lay back and do some art.

The type of art I plan on doing is coloring, collage and painting. In fact I am planning on finishing up one art piece that combines collage and painting. In fact I am extremely proud of this particular piece and hope to share it with you. I also plan on doing some coloring. Coloring soothes me as well as soothes the inner child in me.

Speaking of art, I will be watching the television show, The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. It is another thing that soothes me and my inner child. The Joy of Painting helps me be at peace. There is something about Bob Ross and his painting that puts me in a state of calm.

Another thing I will be doing since I will be spending the day at home on this gloomy day is spending time with my cat, Billie Dean. I love Billie so much. I love the fact that he is a cuddle bug and very much a lap cat. I am happy to have him love on me today.

I am looking at the time and realize my therapy session  will be starting in the next twenty minutes. My therapist will be calling me at 12:30pm to have our session. Our session are currently on the  phone due to Covid-19. I would much rather have an in person therapy session but I totally understand why it is not at the moment.

I do not have much more to say. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you read my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Have an awesome day. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Long Time No Blog

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been quite some time since I last blogged. There is no particular reason why I haven’t blogged and I have no real or good excuse to why I haven’t blogged. I guess, I could say life has been getting in the way but part of my life does consist of the blogging community. In fact I have made friends from the blogging community and am grateful for that.

Anyway, I want to update you on my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie is doing well and acting like her typical self. She had a biopsy done to confirm the original test of cancer but sadly the biopsy didn’t confirm or deny cancer as all the samples the vet took were all inflamed. Lil Gertie’s vet, Dr. B said that inflammation is most likely the sign of infection so we put Lil Gertie on some antibiotics. Dr. B is “cautiously optimistic” with the biopsy results but also doesn’t want to give me “false hope” with the biopsy results and am grateful that she is upfront with such things and the cool part is she informs you in a compassionate way. I wish the biopsy results were not so frustrating and would have been more informative but at least I know that Dr. B can now do the surgery and not have to refer me to a different vet to do it. Even though I scheduled a surgery in January for Lil Gertie, I am not sure if surgery is the way I want to go as if the lump continues to grow, I want Lil Gertie to have a good quality of life and not suffer. As frustrating as the biopsy results are I am grateful that Dr. B is an upfront and compassionate vet who wants what is best for my cat. I will keep you updated on Lil Gertie as she is a major part of my life.

As far as what the rest of the day holds for me is to just lay low and really not do much. I will be doing some good self care. For today, self care looks like listening to several episodes of a podcast about philosophy as I do some art work as I have incense burn. The type of art work I will be doing is coloring and painting. I most likely do more coloring than painting as I am trying to finish up some coloring projects before the holidays as I am going to give them as gifts. I am also trying to finish up one painting for a friend of mine but that will only take about fifteen minutes plus drying time. I love both coloring and painting. Coloring and painting or any type of art is therapeutic for me and it is also educational for me because I tend to listen to podcast when doing some form of art. Usually the podcast I listen to gives me knowledge on topics I am not familiar with.

Anyway, I don’t have much more to say with out blabbing on and on about the same thing. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. In fact I hope everyone has a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Sad News About My Cat

Hello, World!!! I realize I haven’t blogged in a while. A great deal has happened since I last blogged. Mostly, I have been attending appointments and doing things for work. Nothing really major except when in comes to my cat, Lil Gertie.

Long story short I noticed a lump on my cats, Lil Gertie side. I took her to the vet and they did a test. It turns out that the test says she has cancer. Sadly, the test shows that Lil Gertie’s cancer is the type of cancer that if the lump is removed then it will most certainly grow back. The vet informed me that there is a slim chance the cancer could be another type of cancer but it is unlikely. She suggested I get a biopsy done on Lil Gertie to see how to proceed with treatment. If the results of biopsy confirm what the test say they type of cancer Lil Gertie has then treatment will be more the quality of life than trying to keeping her alive. The vet thinks Lil Gertie has six to twelve months before needing to put her down.  The vet is amazed that Lil Gertie is “doing so well” because she isn’t acting like she is sick. Lil Gertie, my cat, is acting like her usual self. She is eating, drinking, peeing and pooping normally which is a good sign for both me at the vet. Lil Gertie will have the biopsy in little over a week. I will keep you updated.

The good thing in all this is not only is Lil Gertie acting like her usual self and seeming like she has cancer but I have some major support from my friends. Friends who are amazing and loving. Friends making sure I do some good self care.

The self care I am doing is checking in with friends. I am also burning incense to help me out. I am reading, doing art, spending time with others and going about my normal everyday routine. Most importantly, the best self care is spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie as I know my time is more limited than I thought and hoped it would be. I love my cat, Lil Gertie. I know Lil Gertie loves me unconditionally.

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A face only a parent could love. This is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love her facial expressions.

The above picture is one of my favorite pictures of Lil Gertie. I love the many facial expressions she has especially in the above picture. I am planning on printing out the picture above and framing it put it on my wall in my apartment.

I do not have much more to say as I am now in tears again. At least I know Lil Gertie is not suffering at the moment as she is acting like her normal self. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in the Seattle area. Our weather has been interesting the last week. Last Saturday we had a pretty major thunderstorm for our area which I really found pretty cool. In fact we been having some thunderstorms go through the Seattle area again tonight. Not as major or as long as last Saturday but still pretty cool. I think we have had three or four relatively small thunderstorms tonight. I enjoy thunderstorms most of the time. As far as tonight goes, I am enjoying them.

As soothing as thunderstorms are and I am wanting to discuss more soothing things, lets start on something slightly more difficult so we can end on a positive note. I was suppose to have Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Group and sadly it was cancelled. I was disappointed as I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to it because I was wanting to share a couple of successes I had.

Thankfully, I was able to share my successes with my therapist as I had a therapy session. My therapist is pretty cool and understanding or that is my personal opinion. We also discussed some things that were somewhat difficult to discuss. Another thing we talked about personal goals. I had some difficulty with this because I feel like some of my goals have been put on the back burner and the blame is a hundred percent my fault on that. We talked about how some goals are put on the back burner to be able to focus on other things. It doesn’t been they won’t be put on the front burner again, it just means I needed to adjust some things in my life at the moment. Another thing we discussed was self care and what I have been doing to do good self care. I told him I am back to doing my two daily walks again or at least the ones I schedule. I informed him that I walk once in the morning and then again in the evening. We also discussed other forms of self care that are also inline to my goals which I found quite productive.

As far as self care goes, my cat, Lil Gertie, is a major part of it. Having Lil Gertie around to love as well as to take care of her is a major part of my daily self care. Her unconditional love reminds me to do good self care and is helping me to learn to love myself.

Learning to love myself is just one form of self care that I have made an effort to do along side of other things. Other things such as burning incense. In fact as I am writing this blog I have incense burning. For some reason it helps me calm down and it reduces my anxiety.

In fact my anxiety was really high earlier and one of the things I turned to was to watch a television show on Netflix. A show that helped me a great deal when I was a child and teenager. The show is The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. For some reason I find his show extremely soothing. Add his show with some incense and a thunderstorm is good self care for me. Of course the universe helped with the thunderstorm but Bob Ross and incense was my way of self care tonight.

In fact I think I am going to end this post so I back to watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have a good Friday the 13th. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post w/Random Sh*t

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is mostly a typical Monday for me. I, mostly a typical Monday as a couple things today aren’t so typical for me. Both of the things that aren’t that typical involve both of my parents.

Lets start with my mom. Today is her 63rd birthday. A birthday I wasn’t sure was going to happen more times I can count due to her addiction to drugs and alcohol. I feared for her life more of her addiction to drugs than alcohol because that seems to be the thing she goes to when things get too stressful for her. Even though I set some clear boundaries with in regards to talking with her on the phone, I did call her to wish her a happy birthday. She is my mom and I love her. If I were a parent, I would want my kid to make an exception in this case. My mom was happy I called her and thanked me for as well as thanked me for her birthday present.

Now on to my other parent, my dad. As I have informed you in other blog post my dad’s health hasn’t been the best and he is in the hospital. I have good news about my dad and his health. He is getting out of the hospital tomorrow (Tuesday). I am so grateful he is getting out of the hospital tomorrow and that he is in better health.

As much as I love both of my parents, I am beyond grateful that I learned about recovery from both of them. Granted my mom is not in active recovery while my dad is, I still learned about recovery from both of them. If it wasn’t for seeing them in their addiction as a way to deal with symptoms of their mental health challenges it made me acutely aware of how I don’t want to deal with any of my problems including my own mental health challenges. Even though I never had an addiction to drugs or alcohol I did end up having different unhealthy ways of coping with my problems and mental health challenges.

The unhealthy ways of coping are the reason why I learned how to make sure I do good self care. There are many ways I do good self care. One of the ways I do good self care is to take my meds. In fact I have to go pick up my refills today. While I am out and about one of the things I will also do is go buy some incense. I find incense soothing.

In fact one of the things I plan on doing later is to burn incense while I read a book called “How to Be an Antiracist.” I am really enjoying the book. I am learning so much more than I expected regarding race and how to be an ally from this book than I ever realized I could. I hope to learn more as I continue to read this book. In fact have more books about race I am going to be reading. Any way to educate myself about other experience is a way to become a better ally and friend.

I do not have much else to talk about. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great Monday. I also hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Don’t forget to do good self care. Peace Out, World!!!