Blogging to Work Through Shit

Good Morning, World!!! I am struggling at the moment despite doing some self soothing. Don’t get me wrong the self soothing is helpful for me. Even though I feel like I don’t deserve to self soothe it’s helpful. Helpful to where I don’t currently don’t feel like a scared little kid.

Part of what helped me not feel like a scared little kid is by coloring. Coloring appears to be helpful to me as an adult as well as the scared little kid and angry teenager in me. It is so helpful to me that I recommend coloring to pretty much everybody.

One of the worst feelings in the world for me is feeling like the scared little kid or the angry teenager. This is why I personally need to be willing to practice mindfulness as well as self soothing. Mindfulness helps me to a degree with to not dissociate. When I dissociate I am most likely to become a scared little kid or angry teenager.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated from my end. Peace Out, World!!!

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Self Soothing Due to Early Awaking

Good Morning, World!!! It is three o’clock in the morning here in Seattle. Unfortunately, I am wide awake. On the plus side I did get some sleep. Not as much sleep as I personally, would like but I did get some sleep.

As difficult as not being able to sleep right is, I am needing to self soothe as part of my self care plan. So, I put on one of my favorite hooded sweatshirts on. In fact the sweatshirt is of my favorite baseball team the Angels. In fact the Angels are currently in the lead for the American League West.

Besides wearing my Angels hoodie I am holding my teddy bear. A teddy bear I have had since I was born. It was given to me by my uncle. My teddy bear not only self soothes me but gives me some sort of safety. Safety from what? Who knows but I’ll take it.

After I am done blogging, I am going to do a mindfulness exercise practice. Mindfulness appears to put me in the right head space. I never thought I would say this but mindfulness is also self soothing for me. Well if it is done in a way I feel safe it is self soothing.

Thank you for reading. It is much appreciated. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Saturday Morning Depression

Good Morning, World!!! I’ve been awake for several hours now. I am a wee bit depressed. Not sure what is causing it but I sure in the hell know that the crappy weather isn’t helping. I just wish I wasn’t dealing with the depression however it is a reality I have to deal with.

A reality that is having me focus on good self care as well as doing DBT skills. In fact I feel like my DBT skills are self care. Or at least a form of self care. I am needing do some self-soothing skills as well as some distracting skills.

One of the skills, I’ll be doing is drinking tea which is self soothing for me. Another skill I am going to use is read the news paper which is somewhat of a distraction skill for me. I know it seems like a weird combination to do at the same time but it helps me if I start my day out like that.

I am also going to be going to the mall with a friend today. I am not a big mall person but this is an “out of the box” thing my therapist wanted me to come up with. Going to the mall will be challenging for me but it will be helpful for me as well.

Something that I have already done to help with my depression as well as my anxiety is some meditation and mindfulness practices. Since I have been doing the mindfulness and meditation on the regular basis, I have noticed some lessening of the anxiety or least lessening of the intensity of the anxiety.

Thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

A Morning of Self Care

Good Morning (again), World!!! I am feeling slightly better than my last post. That is because I have done some good self care for myself. Self care that put me into a better head space.

I first did some mindfulness and meditation practice. This tends to help me focus on different aspects of my life. Aspects of my life that include me being in a better head space.

After my mindfulness and meditation practice I had some tea while reading the news paper. As usual there was really no real good news. Sports wise my favorite is doing well right now. But it is only the beginning of the season.

Now I am about to head out to have an appointment with my new psychiatric nurse practitioner. I hope she is good. I hope she stays. I, of course of some anxiety over this appointment but that is why I have done what I have done as mentioned above.

I need to get going to my appointment. Have a great day and peace out world!!!

Feeling Better

Good Evening, World!!! Today, I have been dealing with a lot of depression. I realized this about an hour and a half ago. I realized why my depression was acting up a little today. I had forgotten to do my meditation and mindfulness practice this morning. So, I did my practice and now I feel better. Today’s topic was love and kindness and how it is okay to self soothe. Meditation and mindfulness self soothes me and is a self care act for me.

After I did my meditation and mindfulness, I watched a few episodes of M*A*S*H. It made me laugh so I hard, I almost peed my pants. Humor helps me a great deal. M*A*S*H reminds me of my childhood when I would watch it with my dad.

It is time to get back to watching M*A*S*H. Have a great evening everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Everyday Inspiration; Day 9: Writing & Not Writing

Today’s  assignment is to discuss what I do when I am not writing. This easy for me to write about as the things I do outside of blogging is a form of self care for me.

I tend to be a strong advocate in my community. Not just the mental health community or the Peer community but the LGBTQ+ community. Being able to advocate in the communities I identify with helps be in the long wrong to be able to advocate for other communities that I don’t identify with but an ally.

I also volunteer at the Warm Line in my area. Which is something I have been doing for three and a half years now. Something I also love to do. I love to be able to be of support to those who may not have the support that I have.

Something, I do to help myself are self-help workbooks. I am currently doing two work books. One is one my gender identity and sexual orientation while the other is on mindfulness and meditation.

Reading is another thing I do besides reading. I love to read. My favorite genre’s are science fiction, fantasy and mystery. I also love to read text books. Yes, I know it sounds strange but its something I enjoy.

Another thing I enjoy besides reading is to do art. I love to paint, color and collage. Writing helps me process my emotions and feelings while are helps me express them.

Another way I express my emotions is by playing the flute or harmonica. Where words fail music speaks. I also love listening to music and have a ton of play list on Spotify.

Thank you for reading. Have a great day everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

 

It’s Been A Long Week

Happy Friday, World!!! As many of you know its been a long week for me. My grandma died on Wednesday. It’s been quite hard for me deal with the grief. Dealing with the loss of my grandma is quite painful.

Gilbert, my therapist, and I talked about the pain, I’m dealing with regarding my grandma’s death. We discussed ways on how I can remember my grandma. I came up with the idea of a tattoo. I love tattoos and hope I can find one to remember my grandma by.

Something else Gilbert and I discussed was what I can do to have some structure this weekend as well as how I am going do some good self care. We talked about blogging and journaling to help with the processing part of my grandma’s death. We also talked about doing art the help me express my emotions. Reading books and comics also came up to help me escape reality in a healthy way for an hour or two at a time. We also discussed music and doing some workbooks.

Doing good self care is key to my recovery and one of those things is to go and eat something. So, I am going to go and get some dinner. Happy Friday. Peace Out, World!!!