Monthly Archives: January 2024

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is way too early to be awake. I am awake due to a stupid nightmare. A nightmare that was a screaming nightmare and the only reason why I know this is because a neighbor called the police and they showed up to make sure I am okay. I informed the police that I am in fact okay and that I had a nightmare. They understood and left. I know the police were just doing their job but when your trauma related nightmare involved a police officer and the police show up, it doesn’t really help the PTSD. Again, it is not the police officers fault that a neighbor called nor is it my neighbors fault for making sure I was okay due to my screaming while having a nightmare. I just wish my nightmare wasn’t a screaming one.

On that note, my cat, Billie, is helping a great deal. He is currently laying in my lap purring as I write this particular blog post. I love my cat so very much and can’t imagine my life without him. He is such an amazing cat that loves to spend as much time in my lap as he can get. I am glad he is able to help me self regulate especially after a nightmare.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

Just Another Post About Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I had therapy today and it was a virtual appointment as it has been for the last year due to me working. My next appointment will be an in person appointment which I am thrilled about. My therapist and I will attempt to make a more set schedule for in person appointments now that I am not currently working.

My therapist and I of course discussed being pregnant. We discussed how being pregnant most likely will trigger my PTSD due to having the OBGYN checking me down below the belt on the monthly basis while pregnant. We discussed the things I could do to help me if I get triggered by getting examined by the OBGYN.

We also discussed a hard traumatic event that happened to me when I was a child. My therapist validated this experience and reiterated that I am not the monster despite me feeling like a monster. My therapist is really awesome and I am grateful that she is a safe person to talk with and that she makes therapy a safe place.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What Makes a Good Leader?

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What makes a good leader?
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To me a good leader is someone who can be empathetic and compassionate while communicating in a direct way. A good leader also leads by example. Sadly, most leaders don’t lead by example nor do they remember where they come from and how challenging it was to become a leader. Granted some leaders do get their leadership position just handed to them and in my experience these types of leaders tend to do more harm than good. I guess for me having a leader who can lead by example and preach what they practice is the type of leader that is best.

Enjoy the Benefits of Being Pregnant

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is hard to believe that despite severe PTSD symptoms that I have been surprisingly sleeping better and longer. Instead of my usual four hours of sleep, I have been getting about six to eight hours of sleep. I am so freaking happy that I am sleeping better and longer hours. The OBGYN informed me that the more restful and longer sleep is due to being in my first trimester of pregnancy.

Another thing that can happen during pregnancy is an increased sex drive which is currently happening to me. As someone who has an extensive trauma history and being traumatized again in the last six months this can be a scary thing. Despite it being somewhat scary my partner, Junior is being so sweet with the increased sex drive while understanding that PTSD can and will get in the way.

Of course I will discuss the PTSD stuff as well as the increased sex drive with my therapist. In fact I have an appointment with her today and I will officially let her know about being pregnant. I am sure my therapist and I will be discussing my mental health while being pregnant and will be an on going discussion for therapy.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What’s Your Dream Job

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What’s your dream job?
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My dream job is being a peer specialist that works in the emergency room of a hospital. I would love to be able to help those at the most challenging time of their life whether it is mental health related or physical health related. Having someone there to help a patient in the emergency room could ultimately help them get the best care possible. I just think emergency rooms could benefit from having a peer specialist in them.

Hump Day Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week where I do a mid week update in which I like to call hump day update due to it being Wednesday. As I mentioned in my last post, I had my first OBGYN appointment yesterday after medically confirming last Friday with my primary care provider that I am pregnant. The OBGYN discussed the risk of being pregnant in your mid forties and that many people have healthy babies. The OBGYN also discussed my mental health diagnosis and her concerns about postpartum depression which is understandable and I will be working with her and my mental health treatment team about it. Junior and I are looking forward to being parents.

I have also been applying for jobs. Jobs that can be challenging especially for a high risk pregnancy but I really would like to work again as I really miss working and the feeling of being a productive member of society. I miss working and I realize this might not be the best time to look for a job since I am pregnant but many people work when they are pregnant.

I do not have much more to update you on for the hump day update. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Update on First OBGYN Appointment

Posted on by Gertie

Good Afternoon, World!!! I just wanted to inform you of what the OBGYN said yesterday in my first appointment with her. Junior did attend the appointment with me as he is the father. My OBGYN is as sweet as can be as well as very direct. She informed me of the risk to myself and the fetus due to being in my mid forties and that many people deliver “healthy babies” at my age.

My OBGYN discussed a lot of the risk of having a baby at my age but also stated she deals with high risk pregnancies. She also deals with many folks with an extensive trauma history like mine and understands fully how traumatic it can be having someone look below the belt several times during the nine months of pregnancy and during delivery. She was honest with me stating there is a high possibility of me having a c-section due to all the scarring down below the belt from the severe trauma I experienced throughout my life.

We also discussed a great deal about my mental health challenges and how I am at “greater risk” for postpartum depression. We talked about staying on most of my psych meds and continuing to seek treatment from my mental health treatment team. I let the OBGYN that I had no plans of stopping treatment with my mental health team and that I was glad to hear we were on the same page regarding meds. The only meds the OBGYN wants me to not take until I see my psychiatric nurse practitioner which are the Ativan and the Ambien. Both of these meds are PRN’s for me as well as controlled substances which can put the baby at greater harm. I am pretty sure my psychiatric nurse practitioner will agree with the OBGYN and myself regarding not taking the Ativan and Ambien as she is pretty knowledgeable with this kind of stuff.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; Think Back On Your Most Memorable Road Trip

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
Think back on your most memorable road trip.
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I think the most memorable road trip I had was the summer between seventh and eighth grades with my grandparent. To give you some back story the last week of school during seventh grade Betty White was on my junior high for two days to interact with students and I met her. The road trip from Southern California to Northern California with my grandparents happened the week after school got out.

On the way to the final destination my grandparents and I saw many celebrities which isn’t unusual nor was it the first time seeing celebrities due to the fact I have seen many at school assemblies or the many times I went to Disneyland. Some celebrities just wanted to be left alone while others appeared to enjoy interacting with fans.

I share this because once my grandparents and I got to our final destination we checked into our not all that fancy hotel when low and behold Betty White was checking in front of us. It turns out that we had the room right next to Betty White. Anyway, the third night we were at this particular hotel we heard a knock at the door. I answered and it was Betty White who asked to speak to my grandparents. Betty White informed my grandparents how “polite” I was to her when she was at my school for a couple of days as well as “polite” I was to her with the couple of interactions at the hotel pool. Betty White took my grandparents out for dinner and then took me to a movie so my grandparents could “have a few hours without a teenager.” I had a blast and have been so impressed with Betty White as she is the most down to earth celebrity that I ever met and I am sad that she is no longer on this earth.

Daily Prompt; What Do You Enjoy Doing Most In Your Leisure Time?

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
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I really enjoy doing a lot of things in my leisure time but if I have to choose it would be a tie between reading books and reading as well as collecting comic books. Specifically, I collect Wonder Woman comic books. I really enjoy the community of those who collect comic books as we are a unique set of people. The type of books I like to read are fantasy books but I also enjoy science fiction. It appears that folks who enjoy reading fantasy and science fiction books also like comic books which is why I think I enjoy the comic book community.

Daily Prompt; What Books Do You Want to Read?

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What books do you want to read?
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I really enjoy reading and have many books that I would love to read for various reasons. I also really enjoy reading book series so what I have to list will be book series as well as the authors.

  • The Music City Rollers Series by Elicia Hyder
  • The Journey Durant Novels (which is a series) by Elicia Hyder
  • Fire & Brimstone Scrolls (which is a series) by Nikole Knight
  • The Homecoming Saga (which is a series) by Orson Scott Card