Boredom Sets In As I Wait For….

Good Morning, World!!! At this very moment I am sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office to see her for our ever two week check up even though I have not seen her since November. Long story short, our schedules didn’t mesh well and the holidays didn’t help with the scheduling. Any way I am sure we will be discussing how things have been going with me both physical health and mental health wise. I am sure we will also be discussing how I have not been using the emergency room on the regular basis and only going to urgent care once as seeing her every two weeks is to help cut down on the amount of times I go to the emergency room. Anyway, one of the things I plan on doing is asking my doctor if she can prescribe me some Ativan for my upcoming dental appointment. Actually, it will be for my oral surgery of taking out all of my teeth. I have anxiety over going to the dentist. I know it sounds a wee bit silly but I do. I know most likely my doctor will not prescribe me the Ativan but at least I will have an answer as if I don’t ask the answer will be an automatic no.

As I wait for my doctor, not only have I been writing this post I have been reading the book Lost Boys by Orson Scott Card. It has been quite helpful to me as I wait to see my doctor. Hell, it was quite helpful to me last night when I was unable to sleep due to sleeping too much for about three days due to depression. I love to read. It helps me get out of my own head space and think about something else for once. It is quite helpful for me and my recovery journey.

I best be ending this particular post as it is getting closer to my appointment time with my doctor. I hope to post more later on today. I hope everyone has a good Monday. Peace Out, World!!!

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No Sleep For Me

Good Morning, World!!! I am unable to sleep right now. No matter how much I try, I am unable to sleep. I have taken my sleep meds as well as some Melatonin and neither are working. I am starting to get quite frustrated with not being able to sleep.

Thankfully, I have electricity because it keeps going out due to the windy weather and power lines keep going down. I am grateful for electricity at the moment because I have been watching movies which has been quite helpful to me.

Unfortunately, yet fortunately the electricity would go out due to the windy weather and I then get a battery operated lantern and read. I am reading a book that I keep putting down and picking back but have to reread from the beginning due to forgetting where I left off. I am reading a science fiction / fantasy novel. I love reading

So between reading and movies I have been keeping myself busy. Lil Gertie, appears to be happy that I am awake right now as she is getting a lot attention as she is a night owl. I love my cat so much. She makes my life so much better.

I want to write more but my lights are starting to flicker again so I want to make sure this post gets posted just in case the electricity goes out again. The weather in Seattle the last few days has been yucky to even those who have spent their entire lives in the Seattle area. I just wish it wasn’t so windy.

Again, I really should get going. I hope everyone has a good Friday as it is officially Friday everywhere in America. Before I go, I would like to wish everyone a Blessed Solstice. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

 

 

Anger = Call to Therapist

Good Afternoon, World!!! As much as I love my family, they are driving me nuts right now. Driving me nuts over petty shit that I shouldn’t let get to me but I do.

I talked with my new therapist about this and he suggested some things for me to do so I am not so angry with them. The cool thing about everything is that he knew what questions to ask about me and my anger. He now knows that me calling when I am angry is a good. This is a way for me to be preventative to do self harm urges and self harm acts. Thankfully, the anger toward my family didn’t lead to self harm urges which is why I was being preventative.

Something that my therapist and I came up with is to keep my mind busy so reading and books. I found out that my therapist is also an avid reading. His enjoys science fiction and fantasy genres. Knowing something as simple as this helps me with trusting my therapist. Talking about ways to not be so angry and books with my therapist helped lessened the anger a great deal.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World.

Having A Tough Evening

Hello, World!!! As the title of my post suggest, I am having a tough evening. An evening full of depression and grief. I’m still grieving over the death of my grandma. It hasn’t even been a two months since she passed away and I miss her so much, more and more everyday.

Something that I have been doing to help myself is my DBT skills.  Specifically, I have been reading. Reading Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I am really enjoying the book. If you are a Fantasy and/or Science Fiction fan, you would enjoy the book. In fact it is the first book in The Liveship Traders Trilogy. 

I am a huge fan of book series. I am a fan of series because I really get into the world the author created as well as the characters. Sometimes I cry at the end of a series because saying goodbye to the world and character of the author’s creation is difficult for me to do. Yes, I know it is not real however sometimes you spend more time with the series than your own family.  Or at least for me it is true.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

All I Can Say Is That It’s Monday

Good Evening, World!!! The title of this post says it all. Today, I had a “team meeting” with my now old case manager and Gilbert, who is now my old therapist and met with my new clinician. Not sure what to think of my new clinician but he appears to be a little timid. I just hope he is as direct with me as my case manager and Gilbert as directness is quite helpful for me.

Something else I did was go to Art Group. I love art. We were to paint one big flower to cover the page. I didn’t do that as I wanted to create a field of flowers. It didn’t come out as planned but I like it because I made a couple of focal points in my painting.

When I came home I read a chapter in my book. I am really enjoying my book and grateful that I now have the concentration to now focus on reading. Once, I am done blogging I think I am going to go back to reading. Right now my favorite genre is Fantasy (as well as Science Fiction) and proud of being considered a “geek” due to the genre.

Thank you for reading. Peace Out, World!!!

Waking Up Depressed

Good Morning, World!!! I woke up depressed this morning. Waking up depressed just has me being acutely aware of what I need to do to be actively acting in my recovery.

Knowing that waking up depressed can put me in a tailspin, I have to be aware on what I need to do to not end up in a tailspin. So I started with my usual morning routine by having some tea and reading the news paper. I then made myself some breakfast. I made myself some French toast and scrambled eggs. I enjoyed my breakfast.

After enjoying my breakfast I decided to do some art. I mainly colored and collaging. Coloring helps me a great deal. As mention I did some collaging. I ended collaging three poems. I love when I am able to be creative like that.

Collaging reminded me that reading helps as well. So I read a few chapters in my book. I really am enjoying the book. A book that has helped me get out of my head.

Speaking of get out, I need to get going. I have to get ready as I have therapy today. Have a great day everyone. Peace Out, World!!!

Waking Up Depressed = No Fun

Good Morning, World!!! Waking up in a depressive mode is not my idea of fun. So, I did my normal morning routine with reading the news paper and having some tea. I then decided to turn on the King 5 morning news. The saddest news story is my favorite comic book store Zanadu is closing. Its been in icon in Seattle for 42 years. Its always the small businesses that are leaving. We need to support small business’s more.

On that note, I’m reading my Ship of Magic book once I am done blogging here. I really love reading and am happy that I am in a place where I am able to be in a space to be able to read now.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also  hope everyone has a great work week Peace Out, World!!!