Weekly Check In

Good Evening, World!!! I have realized that doing a weekly check in with you my reader has helped me a great deal than you. I also realize that doing a weekly check in keeps you up to date on how things are going for me. It also helps with keeping you somewhat interested in continuing to read my blog. Yes, I know it is a bit selfish on my part however I know from experience when I follow a blog and the person doesn’t blog for awhile I tend to loose interest and I don’t want you to loose interest even though it is just about my boring ass life.

Now that I bored you on why I am doing weekly check ins again, let me bore you on what happened in my life this past week. I really didn’t do much this past week. I found myself doing art related stuff. Mainly, I colored and did some painting. I got inspired to do some painting by watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. Granted, I didn’t do anything Bob Ross did and did an abstract painting.

Another thing I mostly did this week was read. I am reading How to Be an Antiracist. I am really enjoy the book. I am learning a great deal. I hope when I am finished with the book that I do a book review on it. I also hope that if I remember to blog at work during a slow moment that I tell you what I have learn thus far from the book.

Something I did this week was attend a writing class I am in. I love the writing class and am learning a great deal about characters and how to build a scene. I am enjoying the class immensely and will be sad when it ends in two weeks.

Sadly, something that didn’t happen this week was Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group. I was so looking forward to group. Even though it is not easy to do and I have to take responsibility for my actions, I like the group.

The one thing the writing class and DBT group have in common is homework. I enjoy doing “homework” as it helps me build the structure I need for my everyday life as well as my recovery. Sadly, the homework for my writing class will end when the class ends.

Another thing I did was see my therapist. It was a good session. We scheduled an appointment for next week for three o’clock but forgot if it was for Tuesday or Thursday. But it something I can confirm on Monday which is something I will do.

The one thing I have also been doing is applying for new jobs. I really like my current job but it is the hours I don’t like. I am not fond of working a twelve hour night shift but at least it is job and am grateful for it. I just need a job that is not twelve hours and/or at night. In fact I a work tonight. I do enjoy my job.

I do not have much more to check in about. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

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Middle of the Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in the Seattle area. Our weather has been interesting the last week. Last Saturday we had a pretty major thunderstorm for our area which I really found pretty cool. In fact we been having some thunderstorms go through the Seattle area again tonight. Not as major or as long as last Saturday but still pretty cool. I think we have had three or four relatively small thunderstorms tonight. I enjoy thunderstorms most of the time. As far as tonight goes, I am enjoying them.

As soothing as thunderstorms are and I am wanting to discuss more soothing things, lets start on something slightly more difficult so we can end on a positive note. I was suppose to have Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Group and sadly it was cancelled. I was disappointed as I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to it because I was wanting to share a couple of successes I had.

Thankfully, I was able to share my successes with my therapist as I had a therapy session. My therapist is pretty cool and understanding or that is my personal opinion. We also discussed some things that were somewhat difficult to discuss. Another thing we talked about personal goals. I had some difficulty with this because I feel like some of my goals have been put on the back burner and the blame is a hundred percent my fault on that. We talked about how some goals are put on the back burner to be able to focus on other things. It doesn’t been they won’t be put on the front burner again, it just means I needed to adjust some things in my life at the moment. Another thing we discussed was self care and what I have been doing to do good self care. I told him I am back to doing my two daily walks again or at least the ones I schedule. I informed him that I walk once in the morning and then again in the evening. We also discussed other forms of self care that are also inline to my goals which I found quite productive.

As far as self care goes, my cat, Lil Gertie, is a major part of it. Having Lil Gertie around to love as well as to take care of her is a major part of my daily self care. Her unconditional love reminds me to do good self care and is helping me to learn to love myself.

Learning to love myself is just one form of self care that I have made an effort to do along side of other things. Other things such as burning incense. In fact as I am writing this blog I have incense burning. For some reason it helps me calm down and it reduces my anxiety.

In fact my anxiety was really high earlier and one of the things I turned to was to watch a television show on Netflix. A show that helped me a great deal when I was a child and teenager. The show is The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. For some reason I find his show extremely soothing. Add his show with some incense and a thunderstorm is good self care for me. Of course the universe helped with the thunderstorm but Bob Ross and incense was my way of self care tonight.

In fact I think I am going to end this post so I back to watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have a good Friday the 13th. Peace Out, World!!!

A Random Wednesday Afternoon Post

Good Afternoon, World!!! At this very moment the symptoms of my Depression and PTSD and am grateful that I am able to nip it in the butt with skills I normally do. Sadly, I am not going to my writing group because I am not feeling well physically which is probably why I am having an increase of Depression and PTSD symptoms. Part of why I am not feeling well is because I according my doctor I have a “severe Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and mild right Kidney Infection” which sucks and the antibiotic I am taking is making me nauseous. I really don’t like being or feeling sick but at least I am not in the hospital.

Being in the hospital sucks and since we are on the subject of hospitals, my dad is still in one. He is on the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) of a local hospital here in the Seattle area. His surgery went well and he is healing well from it. Sadly, my dad has fluid on the lungs and the doctors are trying to get rid of it. My dad has a history of pneumonia and is still in the hospital as a precautionary thing and is receiving IV antibiotics.  My dad is feeling better and wants to go home. He is eating solid food and the doctors say its okay that my dad drinks Diet Mt. Dew. So, I know my dad is feeling better when he wants his Diet Mt. Dew. I just wish the fluid on my dads lungs would hurry up at resolve.

I saw my therapist yesterday (Tuesday) and we discussed my increased Depression and PTSD symptoms and he is in agreement that the increased in symptoms are likely in part to my current health issues with my UTI and kidney infections. We discussed on ways that I could feel better as well as skill I could use to help with my increased mental health symptoms. One of the things my therapist and I discussed was the amount of time I was spending on social media, specifically Facebook because I am just aimlessly scrolling it as a way to help myself but it is becoming more of a hindrance for some of my symptoms. We talked about going on Facebook with a purpose like to post or say hi to someone and limit the time I am on Facebook. We discussed other things I could do instead which led me to having a conversation with my therapist about book suggestions I got from both white and people of color friends about race in America. We discussed that I as a white person one to better understand my white privilege and how I can be a better ally for not only friends but my clients who are people of color. I told him that I am expecting three books about race and racism as well as white privilege at some point today via Amazon. My therapist was “impressed” that I am wanting to improve myself and understanding of race and he “feels” that with me doing this will help me stay off Facebook and build a more meaningful type of structure I need for my recovery. My therapist likes the fact that I am wanting to educate myself to understand race, racism and white privilege here in America. We also discussed other ways to structure my time to help with my PTSD and depression symptoms. I really like my therapist and am grateful to have him as a clinician.

I don’t have much more to say. I just hope the books arrive today as “guaranteed” by Amazon so I can get to reading the books I ordered from them. I want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Wednesday as well as their work week. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Plans

Sunday

  • Get off work at 8:30 in the morning.
  • Get home from work and play with my cat, Lil Gertie.
  • Mindfulness
  • Take a nap.
  • Go to lunch with friends.
  • Do homework for writing class, DBT group and my therapist.
  • Workbooks
  • Color

Monday

  • Mindfulness
  • Go to the Department of Social and Human Services (DSHS).
  • Workbook
  • Do homework for therapy, DBT group and writing class
  • Color

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbooks
  • Attend appointment with my therapist
  • Attend appointment with employment specialist
  • Work on homework for writing class and DBT group.
  • Color

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Writing class
  • Dinner with a friend
  • Color
  • Homework for DBT Group and writing class. (We always have homework in DBT and was told we will have homework in writing class as well.)

Thursday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Color
  • DBT Group
  • Homework for DBT group and writing class

Friday

  • Mindfulness
  • Workbook
  • Homework for DBT group and writing class
  • Self care day type of day

Saturday

  • Sleep all day, during “normal” waking hours due to working nights.
  • Mindfulness
  • Work

SIDE NOTE: The writing class has nothing to do with groups through the mental health agency I am a client of. It is part of a program that allow people who are low income to experience different forms of art for free. The non profit is called Path With Art and is available to people who are low income living in Seattle and I think other parts of King County.

Weekly Check In

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week where I am going restart doing my weekly check ins on Saturdays. I will be doing my weekly check as part of my routine in regards to getting ready for work. As may or may not know my on call shelter counselor job is no longer an on call job for me as I now have a more permanent day I work. In fact I work Saturday nights from eight at night to eight thirty in morning on Sunday. I am not a huge fan work twelve and a hours at night but at least its a consistent schedule and not on call. Being on call was not helping my mental health symptoms and was about to quit my job if I didn’t start having a more consistent schedule.

As far a my as my week went it was pretty busy. On Monday and Tuesday I decided to deep clean my everything in my kitchen. Well everything but my fridge but I will do that next week. Most likely next Friday. It felt great that I deep cleaned my kitchen. I plan on deep cleaning the rest of my apartment as time goes on. I plan on making one day a week ordeal till I get my apartment clean like how I want it and not so cluttered.

Wednesday was a busy day for me. I saw my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. We of course discussed meds and how I will be picking up my meds twice a week now since I tried attempting to die by suicide by taking a weeks worth of one of my meds about a month and a half ago. (No need to worry because I am currently not at risk of harming myself or attempting suicide.) We discussed how picking up my meds twice a week will be more helpful to me and my recovery for the time being. I am hopeful that I will be able to get my meds on the monthly basis again but my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and I both agree that this is the best option for me and my recovery right now. 

As far as Wednesday goes, it continues to get busier. I saw my therapist and we discussed a great deal of shit that was difficult yet extremely productive. We talked about DBT group and what we are working on in DBT. I discussed with him about the skill of Being Mindful of Current Emotion and how it is challenging for me. So we discussed how it was challenging it for me and my therapist gave me homework on this which I have mixed emotions about but realize that ultimately it will help me. My therapist and I also discussed me starting a new group the focuses on learning skill for PTSD called Trauma Symptom Management. I told him I would be willing to try it just as long as there is no processing of trauma as I am only ready to process my trauma with him, my therapist, and he understood.

Something else I did on Wednesday was start another Path With Art class that is a writing class. When I initially read it I thought “cool a writing class” and then reread a couple of my times and thought I misread the first time because I thought it was an acting class as was fearful that since I got accepted into the class that I would be out of my element. Turns out that I read it right the first time and that it is a writing class. Yes, I love to write but this writing class will slightly put me out of my comfort zone as we will focus on various types of characters and how they play a role in any story as well as focus on the type of scenes they tend to be in. So this particular art class in focused on writing and not art. I did want to do other classes but they would interfere with some of my group therapy.  I am so grateful and relieved that the character and scene writing class is not an acting class as I would be totally out of my element and completely out of my comfort zone. At least with it being a writing class and with the type of writing it is, I will only be slightly out of my comfort zone.

As far as Thursday went. The main thing I did was go to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group. We discuss Mindful of Current Emotion for the second week in a row as it appears that most of us in the group struggle with it from time to time. I am glad that I am working on this particular skill in both DBT group as well as in individual therapy as it is something that I need to work on or at least that’s the universes way of saying I need to work.

Friday, was pretty much my lazy day. I blogged three times and did some art work. In one of my blog post I even showed you what I started on. Yes, I did do some more coloring and hope to post the progress tomorrow after I get home and take a nap. Art work tends to help me a great deal just like writing does. As far as coloring goes, it helps me become mindful of the present moment.

As far as today (Saturday) is concerned, I slept through the entire day. I slept through it because I work a twelve and a half hour night shift. I am not a big fan of working twelve and a half hour shift especially at night but at least I have a job that gives me some meaning in my life as well as the structure I need for my recovery. No matter how long or even sometimes challenging work can be, I always seem to have a sense of accomplishment after I get of work.

Well, it appears I don’t have much more to write or check in about how my week went. I want to thank you for reading my long winded blog post. I also want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog as it means a great deal to me that you do. I hope everyone enjoy what is left of Saturday. I also hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

An Early Sunday Morning Post At Work

Good Morning, World!!! As, I write this blog post, I am at work. As I may or may not have told you, I work at a homeless shelter for young adults (18-25). My shifts are once a week at night for twelve hours. The first two and a half hours as well as the last two and a half hours are the hours that the busiest and the seven hours in between are the slowest as well as the most boring. As much as it is boring and slow, I find things to keep me occupied. Yes, I do have work things to do which I do however I also get to do other things like blog, color, reading, and go on Facebook. Right now, I am listening to music as write this blog post. I am listening to my childhood play list on Spotify.

This past week has been one of isolation due to the symptoms of my depression. With that being said, I did go to DBT group on Thursday and therapy on Friday. DBT group went well. We discuss a great deal especially on the skill of Mindful of Current Emotion. It was nice to have discussed this particularly because I tend to not want to be mindful of my emotions as they tend to be painful. As far as therapy on Friday it turned out to be a difficult yet extremely productive session. We discussed a couple of things that needed to talked about and through. My therapist even referred me to another group. A group that I did several years ago but willing to do it again as I am in agreement with my therapist that it could be helpful.

Something else I did this past week was order some coloring pages from Stuff2Color.com. I am looking forward to starting some new coloring project and hopefully have them finished by Christmas so I could give them as gifts to others. On the plus note about the coloring as it is helpful for me as it tends to be a type of mindfulness for me.

I am looking forward to later today so I can start reading a new book a colleague has lent me. It is about a story of a young person who is experiencing some hardships. So, of course it is something that is of interest of me. Reading someone else’s story is something that inspires me as well as it gives me hope.

Since, I do not have much more to write about, I am going to end this blog post. But before I go I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you so very much for reading my blog. I hope every has a wonderful day of them as well as an awesome week ahead. I know I plan on having a good week despite having some unwanted chores and errands ahead for the week. Peace Out, World!!!

Nothing But An Isolating Type of Week

Good Afternoon, World!!! I have isolating since Monday and that is never a good thing for me. I was suppose to have therapy yesterday but didn’t go. I rescheduled for today and didn’t go again today. I am just waiting for my therapist and I to reschedule for some time this week which I don’t think I will have a session due to how busy he is and my own personal schedule. I personally do want to reschedule for this week but realize the reality of the situation of being able to do so.

Since I have been isolating, I have been doing some things to keep myself busy. I, of course have been spending time with my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie has been a saving grace for me especially the last few days. She is an amazing cat and I love her so much.

The one other thing that has been helping me a great deal is art. I have been color and painting. I am really happy that I have not stopped doing art because I fear that my depression is getting bad. When my depression gets bad I loose all interest in things. Art is helping me with expressing my emotions.

I do not have much more to say in this blog post. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my point of view. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Peace Out, World!!!