Author Archives: Gertie

Weekly Plans

Posted on by Gertie

Sunday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Volunteer at PAWS Cat City
  • Lunch at Red Robin with Junior and mutual friends
  • Spend time with Junior
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recover based workbooks

Monday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Tuesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks
  • Dinner with a good friend

Wednesday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Emerald House virtual group
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery based workbooks
  • Attend a virtual 12 step meeting

Thursday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Emerald House virtual group
  • Lunch with a friend
  • Attend an LGBTQ+ virtual recovery group
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Friday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • Attend Emerald House (a mental health clubhouse)
  • Virtual appointment with psychiatric nurse practitioner
  • Dinner at Red Robin with Junior
  • Color
  • Read
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Saturday

  • Mindfulness meditation practice
  • Morning walk
  • University District Farmers Market
  • Read
  • Color
  • Work on recovery based workbooks

Weekly Check-In

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is Saturday evening which means I do my weekly check-in with you the reader. Overall, things have been overwhelming knowing that I am going to be a parent and give birth this summer. The thought of being a parent is both scary and exciting at the same time.

In fact my therapist and I discussed being pregnant and me becoming a parent. We talked about me being fearful of becoming like my parents when I become a parent and my therapist validated my fear. She assured me that I won’t end up parenting my kid like my parents parented me. I also talked to my therapist about my kid ending up with a mental health challenge due to my own mental health challenges. My therapist understands my concerns.

I am pretty sure I don’t have much more to check in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it weren’t for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write my blog. Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; Describe an Item You Were Incredibly Attached to as a Youth. What Became of It?

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
View all responses

The thing I was incredibly attached to as a youth was my teddy bear. It was a gift from one of my uncles the day I was born. I slept with it every night as a kid and even as a teenager. Hell, I slept with this teddy bear as an adult. I still have this teddy bear and I am nearly 45 years old. I stopped sleeping with it about five years ago because my teddy bear is getting extremely old and worn out. So, that means my teddy bear is spending his retirement years on display in my bedroom. My teddy bear is extremely well loved and has been through a great deal with me.

Caturday w/Billie the Kat + a Friend

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Caturday, World!!! I have decided to start posting pictures of my cat and on occasions other cats on Saturdays as who doesn’t love to look at pictures of cats. For those who are site impaired or blind I will do a caption on the photo as WordPress allows folks to do this on their blog. Well today I will be posting two photos of Billie plus another cat that got adopted from PAWS Cat City.

This sweet kitty posing in front of the I’m going home sign at PAWS Cat City. Twenty minutes later she met her new family and got adopted.
Billie laying on me as he is gives me a hug.
Billie acting all proper with his front legs crossed.

Well, that is it for this week’s pictures of the cuteness of my cat Billie and the sweet kitty that got adopted from PAWS Cat City. I hope you enjoy the pictures. Peace Out, World!!!

Nightmares Suck Sh!t

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is way too early to be awake. I am awake due to a stupid nightmare. A nightmare that was a screaming nightmare and the only reason why I know this is because a neighbor called the police and they showed up to make sure I am okay. I informed the police that I am in fact okay and that I had a nightmare. They understood and left. I know the police were just doing their job but when your trauma related nightmare involved a police officer and the police show up, it doesn’t really help the PTSD. Again, it is not the police officers fault that a neighbor called nor is it my neighbors fault for making sure I was okay due to my screaming while having a nightmare. I just wish my nightmare wasn’t a screaming one.

On that note, my cat, Billie, is helping a great deal. He is currently laying in my lap purring as I write this particular blog post. I love my cat so very much and can’t imagine my life without him. He is such an amazing cat that loves to spend as much time in my lap as he can get. I am glad he is able to help me self regulate especially after a nightmare.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World.

Just Another Post About Therapy

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! I had therapy today and it was a virtual appointment as it has been for the last year due to me working. My next appointment will be an in person appointment which I am thrilled about. My therapist and I will attempt to make a more set schedule for in person appointments now that I am not currently working.

My therapist and I of course discussed being pregnant. We discussed how being pregnant most likely will trigger my PTSD due to having the OBGYN checking me down below the belt on the monthly basis while pregnant. We discussed the things I could do to help me if I get triggered by getting examined by the OBGYN.

We also discussed a hard traumatic event that happened to me when I was a child. My therapist validated this experience and reiterated that I am not the monster despite me feeling like a monster. My therapist is really awesome and I am grateful that she is a safe person to talk with and that she makes therapy a safe place.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you, the reader for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What Makes a Good Leader?

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What makes a good leader?
View all responses

To me a good leader is someone who can be empathetic and compassionate while communicating in a direct way. A good leader also leads by example. Sadly, most leaders don’t lead by example nor do they remember where they come from and how challenging it was to become a leader. Granted some leaders do get their leadership position just handed to them and in my experience these types of leaders tend to do more harm than good. I guess for me having a leader who can lead by example and preach what they practice is the type of leader that is best.

Enjoy the Benefits of Being Pregnant

Posted on by Gertie

Good Morning, World!!! It is hard to believe that despite severe PTSD symptoms that I have been surprisingly sleeping better and longer. Instead of my usual four hours of sleep, I have been getting about six to eight hours of sleep. I am so freaking happy that I am sleeping better and longer hours. The OBGYN informed me that the more restful and longer sleep is due to being in my first trimester of pregnancy.

Another thing that can happen during pregnancy is an increased sex drive which is currently happening to me. As someone who has an extensive trauma history and being traumatized again in the last six months this can be a scary thing. Despite it being somewhat scary my partner, Junior is being so sweet with the increased sex drive while understanding that PTSD can and will get in the way.

Of course I will discuss the PTSD stuff as well as the increased sex drive with my therapist. In fact I have an appointment with her today and I will officially let her know about being pregnant. I am sure my therapist and I will be discussing my mental health while being pregnant and will be an on going discussion for therapy.

I do not have much more to write about in this particular blog post. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Daily Prompt; What’s Your Dream Job

Posted on by Gertie
Bloganuary writing prompt
What’s your dream job?
View all responses

My dream job is being a peer specialist that works in the emergency room of a hospital. I would love to be able to help those at the most challenging time of their life whether it is mental health related or physical health related. Having someone there to help a patient in the emergency room could ultimately help them get the best care possible. I just think emergency rooms could benefit from having a peer specialist in them.

Hump Day Update

Posted on by Gertie

Good Evening, World!!! It is that time of week where I do a mid week update in which I like to call hump day update due to it being Wednesday. As I mentioned in my last post, I had my first OBGYN appointment yesterday after medically confirming last Friday with my primary care provider that I am pregnant. The OBGYN discussed the risk of being pregnant in your mid forties and that many people have healthy babies. The OBGYN also discussed my mental health diagnosis and her concerns about postpartum depression which is understandable and I will be working with her and my mental health treatment team about it. Junior and I are looking forward to being parents.

I have also been applying for jobs. Jobs that can be challenging especially for a high risk pregnancy but I really would like to work again as I really miss working and the feeling of being a productive member of society. I miss working and I realize this might not be the best time to look for a job since I am pregnant but many people work when they are pregnant.

I do not have much more to update you on for the hump day update. I do want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things that you the reader, read my blog. If it was not for you the reader, reading my blog, I would not be continuing to write on my blog. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!