A Late Friday Night Post

Happy Friday, World!!! It is 11:40 at night on a Friday and I am taking a brief break from doing some art work. Specifically, I am taking a break from coloring. I enjoy coloring immensely. Coloring is a type of mindfulness and meditation practice for me.

Part of the reason why I am taking a break from coloring at the moment is that I realize that I am hungry and am eating a snack. In fact, I am having an avocado with sour cream and a cheese quesadilla with sour cream. I know it is late to be eating but I am hungry and thought a snack would be a good idea especially since I am not tired and have a feeling I’ll be up late tonight.

My cat, Lil Gertie, is enjoying the fact that I am not in bed yet. She is enjoying it because she is getting plenty of attention and play time during a time she is typically is awake wondering around the apartment. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much. I am so grateful that I adopted her nearly a year and a half ago. It has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life.

As I was eating and writing this blog as well as coloring I have been listening a podcast about philosophy. Specifically, the philosophy podcast I am listening to is Philosophize This. I highly recommend it. I am learning so much about philosophy and even some about history with this particular podcast. I really enjoy the podcast Philosophize This because I am intrigued with what is being discussed.

I think I am going to continue to listen to it till I am caught up to the most recent episode but it will take a while to get caught up. As I listen to the philosophy podcast I will be coloring. As I have mentioned before coloring is form of mindfulness and meditation for me. It helps me get in a good mindset. I really love coloring and plan on giving what I colored to people who I care about as well as to people who have helped me in the past. I am hoping that the big poster that I am coloring to be able to give it to my therapist but it is a slow process at this point in time. Coloring is something I never out grew and never stopped doing. I use to get laughed at in junior high and high school because I colored and now adult coloring is the in thing to do. I am glad I never stopped coloring even though I was bullied for it.

I don’t have much else to say in this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Again, thank you from the bottom of my hear for reading my blog. I really hope that everyone enjoys their weekend. For those in the United States, I hope you enjoy your three day weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

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So Far, It’s Not A Good Friday

Good Evening, World!!! I am not having a very good Friday due to the fact that my depression and anxiety symptoms are acting up and I am getting easily angered. Specifically, I am getting easily angered at myself. I am getting easily angered at myself because I feel like I am not handling the symptoms of my anxiety and depression as well as I think I should be handling them. The reality of the situation is that I am handling the symptoms better than I think I am because I am not making the situation worse and am making a life worth living for myself.

The thing I have come to realize over the years, I tend to get angry with myself due to my mental health symptoms even when I am reacting to them in a positive way like building a life worth living. Even if people may not think I am building a life worth living with the things I am currently doing, I am building a life worth living because I am educating myself as well as being creative through art.

The way I am educating myself is listening to a podcast on Spotify about philosophy and after each episode, I research what the podcaster discusses. In fact the podcast on philosophy I am listening to is “Philosophize This.” Stephen West is the person that does “Philosophize This” and I personally think he does a great job. He captures my attention which is a good thing because of being diagnosed with ADHD and me wanting to educate myself further on what he discusses in each episode. For me willing to educate myself on a particular subject and/or topic due to how someone conveys the particular subject (and topic) says something about the person discussing it. When a friend of mine suggested that I listen to “Philosophize This,” I was hesitant at first but when I listened to the first episode Stephen West had me wanting to learn more due to his approach on the subject of philosophy. It is because of Stephen West passion for the subject of philosophy is why I am self educating myself.

As I listen to “Philosophize This” I am being creative by doing art which is another way I am creating a life worth living. The particular form of art I am doing as I am listening to the podcast is coloring. I am coloring a poster to give to my therapist to hang in his office. I realize that coloring may not be what most people consider a life worth living but for me if I can color something for others to enjoy, its a life worth living because others are able to enjoy what I created.

Even though I am coloring and listening to “Philosophize This,” I am still struggling and not having a good Friday. I wish the symptoms of my depression and anxiety would subside but sadly they are not which is why I am getting angry with myself. Being angry is never a good thing for me but if I continue doing good things for myself like listening to “Philosophize This” and coloring then I am able to control my anger. Being able to control the anger is a good thing.

I don’t have much more to say. I just want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciative from my end of things. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you all have an awesome Friday. I also hope you all have an awesome weekend. I hope you all enjoy the next couple of days. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Post With Me Rambling

Good Afternoon, World!!! It is just after one o’clock in the afternoon in my corner of the world and I have been struggling since I woke up at five this morning. I have been struggling with several symptoms of my mental health challenges. I wish I wasn’t struggling with symptoms but sadly I am.

As badly as I am struggling at the moment and against my better judgement, I watched the twelve noon news. I say against my better judgement because there tends to be at least one story that triggers me. In fact there were two stories that triggered me in the noon news and it appears that it is the topic of politics that tends to be triggering for me at the moment. At least I am realizing what is triggering for me.

Lets get on to a different topic other than the news and politics as I am getting triggered even discussing it in this post. Yesterday, I had both therapy and group therapy. Specifically, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). In therapy my therapist and I discussed the DBT skills that I am struggling with doing due to barriers that get in the way. Even though we discussed the DBT skills I struggled with, we mainly talked about the barriers I struggle with. Sadly, some of the barriers are trauma related and we will need to continue to discuss these particular barriers in future sessions. After my session with my therapist I went to group therapy that happened to be DBT group. The topic of DBT group happened to be barriers that get in the way of using skills. When I found out the topic of DBT group I had to chuckle to myself because of what therapist and I discussed in my session with him.

Anyway, back to today and waking up struggling. I was struggling bad enough that the only thing I could do in the moment of waking up was pet my cat. My cat just laid next to me in my chair purring as I petted her. I ended up petting my cat close to a half an hour and during that half an hour petting my cat, I realize what I needed to do and ended up doing the entire morning before turning on the twelve noon news.

The things I ended up doing was art work and listening to a podcast as I did art work. The type of art work I ended up doing was coloring. I am coloring a poster in hopes to give it my therapist. As I colored the poster I listened to a podcast on philosophy. The specific podcast about philosophy I am listening to is called “Philosophize This” and am learning a great deal about philosophy. I highly recommend listening to the podcast “Philosophize This” for several reasons which I will share with you another time.

I say I will share with you another time in why I recommend “Philosophize This” is because I need to end this particular blog post so I can get going and eat something. I realized I haven’t eaten yet today which is not a good thing. Before I end this post I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great Friday as well as an awesome weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Just Another Day

Good Evening, World!!! I am slightly struggling at the moment. I wish I wasn’t struggling but sadly I am. I am specifically struggling with the symptoms of both my anxiety and depression. Having symptoms from both act up at the same time is a hell in of itself yet it appears that I always tend to pick myself up from dealing with both at the same time.

Despite dealing with intense depression and anxiety symptoms I managed to hang out with a couple of friends. My friends and I decided we would go out and have a late lunch early dinner. We went to a local diner we had never been to and love the food as well as the service. As much as I didn’t want hang out with friends or go out to eat, I am grateful I did both. It got me out of my apartment and my head. It is never a good thing for me to isolate so hanging out with friends was a good decision for me.

Now that I have been home for a couple of hours, I realize that I am getting stuck in my head again. I went to turn on the television and well poof a political debate was on just about every channel. I knew it was going to be on tonight and tomorrow but I wasn’t paying attention to the time so I when I realized it was on I turned off the television and now I am writing this blog post. Don’t get me wrong about not wanting to watch the political debate but since I haven’t educated myself on all twenty candidates I don’t want to watch the debate. I know I will watch political debates when the election gets closer.

Since the political debate is on I am going to listen to podcast on philosophy. The philosophy podcast I am going to listen to is called “Philosophize This.” I will be listening to it from my laptop via Spotify. I am learning a great deal about philosophy from this podcast because I listen to it and then look up some of what is discussed in the podcast. I love to learn about new things especially if helps me have educated conversations.

As I listen to “Philosophize This,” I will be doing some art. The type of art I will be doing is coloring. I am coloring a poster that I have been coloring on and off since late 2016. It is my goal to finish it so I can give it to my current therapist as a thank you. The poster I am coloring has an awesome saying that is great when it comes to the therapeutic relationship. I am hoping that when I am finished with it that I take a picture of it to share with you.

I do not have much more to say so I guess I will end this post. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Plans for the Evening

Good Evening, World!!! I have a relatively good day. I went and got my dentures adjusted and found out that I will get my permanent in late August, early September. I, then went to a group and saw my employment (vocational) specialist. After that I spent some time with friends which is always a good thing especially since I have been isolating a great deal as of lately. Spending time with my friends today was much needed and plans with another friend for next Friday (July 5th). Having people in corner to be of support is awesome.

Now that I am home and have nothing planned for the rest of the day, I am thinking that I will do some art. Actually, I plan on coloring as there is a big coloring picture that I started in late 2016 and haven’t finished yet because every time I restart it something always happens to where I stop coloring. See this coloring poster has an awesome saying on it and it reminds me of something a therapist would say. I started it originally thinking once it is finished that I would give it my therapist at the time, Dianna but sadly she had to unexpectedly quit due to a cancer diagnosis. Every time I have started coloring the picture again in hopes to give it the therapist I have at the moment something happens to where that person is no longer my therapist. So I think I am going to start coloring it again in hopes to give it to my current therapist and if for some reason he can’t be my therapist anymore I will hold on to it and give it to someone who has helped me. I love to color for many reasons and plan on coloring this evening.

As I color I will be listening to a podcast on philosophy. I find the subject fascinating and love learning about it and how it has shaped history and our ways of thinking. The philosophy podcast I am listening to is “Philosophize This” on Spotify. I am learning a great deal from Stephen West about philosophy. In fact the topics and people he discusses I end up looking up and learning even more. To me listening to this podcast is helping me with finding out things I might not have educated myself on. I really find philosophy interesting and enjoy learning about it.

I do not have much more to discuss with you at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Thank you again for reading my blog. I hope everyone has good rest of their day. Peace Out, World!!!

So Far a Good but Uneventful Day

Good Evening, World!!! Today has been pretty uneventful which I consider a good thing. I consider it good thing because I was able to do some things that I was able to enjoy as well as a couple of things that I needed to do.

The things I needed to do weren’t exactly the most fun things to do but thankfully didn’t take much of my day to do. I needed to do my daily check-in with my therapist. Today’s daily check-in was via phone and lasted for a half an hour. My therapist and I didn’t have our check-in till just after four in the afternoon due to him having to “deal with multiple crisis’s with other clients.” That is okay with me because at least I know I am not in crisis and the check-in’s are to help prevent a crisis especially since my mental health symptoms are increasing. We discussed how my weekend was and what I did over the weekend. We also discussed meds and the potential of needing to pick them up two to three times a week instead of weekly. I am pretty sure picking up my meds more often is going to happen which I am not a fan of but am okay with it as long as it is at the pharmacy I have been going to for the last nineteen years. My therapist did ask if I had picked up my meds for the week and I informed him that I did pick them up. In fact picking up my meds were the only other thing that I actually needed to do besides that obvious of taking care of my cat, Lil Gertie.

I love my cat, Lil Gertie. Lil Gertie has been laying on my chest or lap more as of lately. I am not sure why but I am grateful for it. I do know when she sits on my chest it is because I am having an anxiety attack or about to have one. This helps me to realize this and makes me aware of my breathing. In fact as I am writing this blog on my laptop, Lil Gertie is laying on my chest purring up a storm. I love that fact the she has been laying on my lap or chest more often. It appears to be helping the both of us and the best part is that my anxiety hasn’t been as high as it has been in the past.

I pretty much only did two things today besides my check-in with my therapist, getting my meds and blogging. Those two things were doing some form of art while listening to a podcast. In fact I am listening to a podcast that discusses the topic of philosophy. I find the topic of philosophy very interesting. The specific podcast I am listening to is Philosophize This. I am personally enjoying it especially when I am doing art. In fact while listening to Philosophize This today I have been doing some art. Mainly, I have been coloring but did complete one painting and started another painting. I think maybe taking a picture or two of the art work I have been doing to show you all would be a good idea as whenever I include a picture of anything on my blog post I tend to get more traffic on my blog but I want to post my art work so you can enjoy it and not for the increased traffic to my blog.

I do not have much more to say except I should get going so I can eat some dinner as it is dinner time. I also want to thank you for reading my blog as it is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great work week ahead of them. Again, thank you for reading my blog. Peace Out, World!!!

Update on Self-Care Saturday

Good Evening, World!!! It is early evening in my corner of the world and am having a relatively good day. I think I am having a relatively good day because I have focused today solely on self-care today. A self-care day that I desperately needed and am beyond grateful that I decided to do it and follow through with it.

So far today, I have mostly listened to a philosophy podcast on Spotify called “Philosophize This” while doing other things. I am thrilled that started listening to “Philosophize This” again because I am learning a great deal. I am learning a great deal about philosophy and other things from “Philosophize This” because when I finish an episode, I look up things that Stephen West discusses in his podcast. I look up the information Stephen West discusses on his podcast “Philosophize This” not because I don’t belief him but because I further want to educate myself on the topics he discusses. I feel like listening to “Philosophize This” and educating myself on the topics being discussed helps me find things to talk to other about besides the typical things I discuss with others. So, I guess you can say it will help with my communication skills.

One of the things I did while listening to “Philosophize This” was go for several walks. Walks that have helped me a great deal with getting some excess anxiety and energy out of my system. Anxiety and energy that isn’t exactly helpful for me especially when I am having a self-care day. I love to go walking for many reasons. One reason I enjoy walking is it gets me out of my apartment as well as out of my head.

Another thing I have been doing while listening to “Philosophize This” is art. I have been both painting and coloring. I did both genres of art because I enjoy doing both genres. I also did both because I was needing to have the paint dry before adding to the painting and coloring was also a way for me to think on what else I wanted to add to the painting or what I wanted to paint next. Plus coloring is a type of mindfulness practice for me.

Since it’s just barely five in the evening in my corner of the world I realize I am needing to eat dinner as I am hungry. I am trying to figure out what I want to eat. What type of food am I craving. I am not sure what type of food I exactly want at the moment. I know that there is a specific dish I really want from a restaurant in my neighborhood but I am not sure if I want to spend that much money on food. But I want something different from mac and cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Maybe I could go walking around my neighborhood to see what type of food calls out to me even if I am spending money I don’t want to spend. I don’t go out to eat all that often. I think going to get food is something I need to do.

I do not have much else to talk about at the moment. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I greatly appreciate you reading my blog. I hope you have a great rest of your Saturday. Peace Out, World!!!