Middle of the Night Ramblings

Hello, World!!! It is the middle of the night here in the Seattle area. Our weather has been interesting the last week. Last Saturday we had a pretty major thunderstorm for our area which I really found pretty cool. In fact we been having some thunderstorms go through the Seattle area again tonight. Not as major or as long as last Saturday but still pretty cool. I think we have had three or four relatively small thunderstorms tonight. I enjoy thunderstorms most of the time. As far as tonight goes, I am enjoying them.

As soothing as thunderstorms are and I am wanting to discuss more soothing things, lets start on something slightly more difficult so we can end on a positive note. I was suppose to have Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Group and sadly it was cancelled. I was disappointed as I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to it because I was wanting to share a couple of successes I had.

Thankfully, I was able to share my successes with my therapist as I had a therapy session. My therapist is pretty cool and understanding or that is my personal opinion. We also discussed some things that were somewhat difficult to discuss. Another thing we talked about personal goals. I had some difficulty with this because I feel like some of my goals have been put on the back burner and the blame is a hundred percent my fault on that. We talked about how some goals are put on the back burner to be able to focus on other things. It doesn’t been they won’t be put on the front burner again, it just means I needed to adjust some things in my life at the moment. Another thing we discussed was self care and what I have been doing to do good self care. I told him I am back to doing my two daily walks again or at least the ones I schedule. I informed him that I walk once in the morning and then again in the evening. We also discussed other forms of self care that are also inline to my goals which I found quite productive.

As far as self care goes, my cat, Lil Gertie, is a major part of it. Having Lil Gertie around to love as well as to take care of her is a major part of my daily self care. Her unconditional love reminds me to do good self care and is helping me to learn to love myself.

Learning to love myself is just one form of self care that I have made an effort to do along side of other things. Other things such as burning incense. In fact as I am writing this blog I have incense burning. For some reason it helps me calm down and it reduces my anxiety.

In fact my anxiety was really high earlier and one of the things I turned to was to watch a television show on Netflix. A show that helped me a great deal when I was a child and teenager. The show is The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. For some reason I find his show extremely soothing. Add his show with some incense and a thunderstorm is good self care for me. Of course the universe helped with the thunderstorm but Bob Ross and incense was my way of self care tonight.

In fact I think I am going to end this post so I back to watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have a good Friday the 13th. Peace Out, World!!!

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A Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Good Afternoon, World!!! It has been a hot minute since I last blogged. I honestly don’t have any excuses even though I am sure I could find some to give you all but I won’t. I enjoy blogging and don’t know why I haven’t made more of an effort to do so.

Let’s start off with the good news involving work. As you may or may not know, I work at a young adult homeless shelter as a shelter counselor working twelve hour night shifts. I started out as an on call and now have a permanent day I work. Yes, that means I have a regular schedule even if its one night week. My regular shift is Saturday and this all started last week on Saturday, July 20th of 2019. I had reached out to my supervisor asking if he needed me to work one day a week on the regular basis since my other two teammates were working 36 to 48 hours a week and my supervisor said yes, if I was willing to work Saturdays. I informed him that I would love to take Saturdays as that was the day I was hoping for. My supervisor was and is very much appreciative of me advocating for myself to work one day a week. I am also grateful I did because from my understanding there a couple of possible new people coming on board and now they will be on calls and I don’t have to worry about when my next shift as well as I could have lost out on the opportunity I was given. I may not enjoy working a twelve hour night shift but am grateful that I am no longer “on-call” and now have a regular schedule.

As for the rest of today, it is going to remain being lazy. I am going to be spending much needed quality time with my cat, Lil Gertie. She appears to be enjoying the fact I am spending the day with her.

Today, I have been listening to a podcast about philosophy as I color. I am really enjoying learning about philosophy via podcast as I color. I find that as I color I tend to remember what I learned from the podcast about philosophy. My coloring projects are also coming along great.

Today, the weather in Seattle is absolutely beautiful. So, I decided that I am taking advantage of the awesome weather by taking multiple walks throughout the day. Taking walks helps me a great deal and I enjoy them immensely.

I don’t have much more to share. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my perspective. Again thank you so very much for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great rest of you Sunday. Peace Out, World!!!

A Busy Friday Ahead of Me

Happy Friday Morning, World!!! It is a not so pleasant Friday morning here in Seattle, weather wise. It is one of those days that you just want to stay inside and curl up with a good book while drinking a nice cup of hot chocolate. Sadly, I won’t be able this as I have a busy day ahead of me.

First and fore most I will be going go see my doctor for our regular appointment. My doctor and I have pretty regular appointments to help me stay out of the emergency room for both physical and mental health. It appears to be helping along with seeing my therapist and psychiatrist.

After I see my doctor, I have an appointment with my job coach. Actually, she is my employment specialist but most people understand that term so I just tell people she is my job coach. Today we will be working on finding jobs that are  better fit for me schedule wise.

Since it is Friday, I will be attending my art class. The class that is teaching how to tell stories through comics. The class is called “Beginning Comics Storytelling.” I love this class because it involves art, comics and writing which I enjoy doing all three. I will attending the class after seeing my job coach.

On my way home from the art class, I will be picking up some meds. As much as I highly dislike taking meds, I realize that my meds are necessary for me in regards to my recovery. Meds are are only part of the equation for my recovery.

I don’t have much more to say. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. Peace Out, World!!!

 

Yucky Weather Type of Day

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been one of those yucky type of days weather wise to where you don’t want to do shit. Since it has been one of those days you want to stay inside, I have been doing just that. When the weather is yucky this time of year in Seattle, I tend to stay inside. I have been reading since my last post and have been enjoying it. I love to read and find any excuse to do so and today I am using the excuse of not so pleasant weather. In fact reading helps me a great deal. It helps me get out of my head and forget my problems. It is like a vacation without all the hassle of planning one.

Not only have I been reading, I am about to head out in this yucky weather to go to the free art class I am taking. The class I am taking is called Beginning Comics Storytelling and I am enjoying it. It is an eight week class and sadly I missed last week due to traveling out of town.  I love the fact that the art class I am taking involves things I enjoy which include; art, comics, storytelling and writing. I am grateful that my therapist suggested signing up for the program that offers the free art classes.

Speaking of my art class I need to get going so I can be on time to my class. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

Depressed on a Beautiful Sunny Monday

Good Morning, World!!! It is a beautiful Monday morning in Seattle and all I feel like doing is sleeping the day away due to the fact that my depression appears to be acting up. All I want to do is curl up in bed and just stay there. I am not sure why my depression is acting up but it is something to keep an eye on.

Since I am depressed and feel like sleeping and/or curled up in bed all day, I am in need of doing some good self care today. Self care that includes several basic things that people tend to take for granted. Things like eating. When I am depressed I tend to not eat which is not a good thing which means I personally need to focus on eating. Eating healthy yet comforting foods.

Another form of good self care for me is to do some art work. Specifically coloring. For me coloring is a type of mindfulness as well as meditation. When you color being mindful of what you are coloring is key. It is also a type of meditation as it can have a meditative aspect to it.

I do not have much more to say. I just know I need to eat breakfast as well as take a shower. I have not taken a shower since Wednesday evening and I know I am stinking. I am thinking I am going to have Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal. Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal is semi-healthy and very much a comfort food for me.

I think I am going to end this post as I really need to make sure I need to eat. Plus, I need to take a shower and go get my meds from the pharmacy. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am extremely appreciative of you reading my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day as well as a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

This is how I am when I’m starting to dissociate & I hope it’s educational for you as I fight against it.

Happy Monday and Good Evening, World!!! It is an absolutely, amazingly, beautiful day here in Seattle and I have been enjoying it to the best of my ability. Sadly, I am partly in reality and partly fighting against the dissociative state I am slowly getting in. Being is a dissociated state even a partial one is never good thing for me.

So, I went for a walk and a listened to some great music. As I was walking listening to music, I realized I was starting to dissociate and stopped in my tracks to go back home. As I walked back up I did a walking mindfulness and meditation exercise as I walked back home. As I walked through the door to my apartment my cat instantly knew something was wrong so she did was she needed to do and it helped great deal for me to get more it reality than I wasn’t in. Hell, I am still trying to get back into a hundred percent reality. Not sure why I am fighting so hard with the dissociation right now. I just want to enjoy the nice Seattle weather by taking a walk. I have done some mindfulness and meditation practices since I am hope and it is not help all that much at the moment. My cat is helping a great deal. Just focusing on her, my cat is quite helpful.

Now, I am just going to play some music and do some art. I will also play my flute. When I play my flute and/or do art, it helps me get out what I need to so I am able to be fully in reality and not in a dissociative state. Art and music always help. I might do some art outside since it is a beautiful weather day here in Seattle. I just cant go for a walk or I could forget how to get home and I don’t want that so that’s why I’m going to do art on this beautiful sunny day in Seattle in the community porch for the people who live in my apartment building.

Of course I will be spending more time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she appears to know how to help me when I am in a dissociative state. She is an amazing cat that has helped me a great deal with when I am in a true dissocive  state like I am now. I really don’t let myself go when I am writing. I guess now people can see how hard it is for me.

I am thinking I am needing to end this post so I can do my art and spend time with my cat. Have a great Monday everyone.I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

A Sunny Monday In Seattle

Happy Monday and Good Morning, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. Sadly, I have also realized that at this point in time I am not blog on average of three times a week as I had stated in a New Years goal I want to accomplish for 2019. I, say an average of three times a week as life happens and I might not be able to write multiple times a week. Even though it is two days before May Day (May 1st), I can still accomplish the goal of blogging an average of three times a week this year as the year isn’t even half over yet.

Since we are on the topic of not blogging I do have a legitimate excuse for not blogging for nearly a week. Long story short I live in a “secure building” and as I was unlocking my door to my apartment someone came up from behind me from a stairwell hardly nobody uses and shove me into my apartment. While in my apartment, the person physically assaulted me and I personally thing he would have sexually assaulted me if given the chance as he attempted to pull down the pants I had on at the time. I started screaming and at this time from my understanding two neighbors called 911. One of the neighbors who called 911 then knocked on my door which scared the person physically assaulting me and the dude went running down the hall. This is when I called 911. I did inform the 911 dispatcher that I needed medical attention as I was hit in the head with a hammer. The dispatcher kept me on the phone till the fire department came to my door. The firefighters asked where the police were and I said “I have no clue” and they then radioed their dispatcher asking for Seattle Police to come to the scene. Long story short, it took Seattle Police officer 45 minutes from the first 911 call to finally show up. The police figure printed my door and the fire department took me to the closest hospital for treatment. I have a concussion.

Due to the concussion I have been laying low and doing a lot of self care. Self care that include a lot of things, one of which involve an art class I signed up for that is free for folks who are involved with certain programs. I, signed up for an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling” and it started last Friday (April 26th). I really think I am going to enjoy it. I am grateful that it is free and that I qualify for taking it. I am looking forward what I am going to learn in this class.

I have also done many other things to do self care which I may or may not discuss in another post as staring at my laptop screen is causing me to get another headache due to the concussion I have from the assault I experienced last week. Headaches suck shit but headaches due to a concussion suck shit even more.

I am going to go for now. The weather is wonderful today in Seattle and I want to enjoy it for multiple reasons. Plus, it is a great form of self care to enjoy the sun. I love when the Seattle weather is awesome like today.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things and hope you all continue to read my blog. I hope everyone has a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!