Yucky Weather Type of Day

Happy Friday, World!!! It has been one of those yucky type of days weather wise to where you don’t want to do shit. Since it has been one of those days you want to stay inside, I have been doing just that. When the weather is yucky this time of year in Seattle, I tend to stay inside. I have been reading since my last post and have been enjoying it. I love to read and find any excuse to do so and today I am using the excuse of not so pleasant weather. In fact reading helps me a great deal. It helps me get out of my head and forget my problems. It is like a vacation without all the hassle of planning one.

Not only have I been reading, I am about to head out in this yucky weather to go to the free art class I am taking. The class I am taking is called Beginning Comics Storytelling and I am enjoying it. It is an eight week class and sadly I missed last week due to traveling out of town.  I love the fact that the art class I am taking involves things I enjoy which include; art, comics, storytelling and writing. I am grateful that my therapist suggested signing up for the program that offers the free art classes.

Speaking of my art class I need to get going so I can be on time to my class. I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Peace Out, World!!!

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Depressed on a Beautiful Sunny Monday

Good Morning, World!!! It is a beautiful Monday morning in Seattle and all I feel like doing is sleeping the day away due to the fact that my depression appears to be acting up. All I want to do is curl up in bed and just stay there. I am not sure why my depression is acting up but it is something to keep an eye on.

Since I am depressed and feel like sleeping and/or curled up in bed all day, I am in need of doing some good self care today. Self care that includes several basic things that people tend to take for granted. Things like eating. When I am depressed I tend to not eat which is not a good thing which means I personally need to focus on eating. Eating healthy yet comforting foods.

Another form of good self care for me is to do some art work. Specifically coloring. For me coloring is a type of mindfulness as well as meditation. When you color being mindful of what you are coloring is key. It is also a type of meditation as it can have a meditative aspect to it.

I do not have much more to say. I just know I need to eat breakfast as well as take a shower. I have not taken a shower since Wednesday evening and I know I am stinking. I am thinking I am going to have Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal. Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal is semi-healthy and very much a comfort food for me.

I think I am going to end this post as I really need to make sure I need to eat. Plus, I need to take a shower and go get my meds from the pharmacy. I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am extremely appreciative of you reading my blog. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day as well as a great work week. Peace Out, World!!!

This is how I am when I’m starting to dissociate & I hope it’s educational for you as I fight against it.

Happy Monday and Good Evening, World!!! It is an absolutely, amazingly, beautiful day here in Seattle and I have been enjoying it to the best of my ability. Sadly, I am partly in reality and partly fighting against the dissociative state I am slowly getting in. Being is a dissociated state even a partial one is never good thing for me.

So, I went for a walk and a listened to some great music. As I was walking listening to music, I realized I was starting to dissociate and stopped in my tracks to go back home. As I walked back up I did a walking mindfulness and meditation exercise as I walked back home. As I walked through the door to my apartment my cat instantly knew something was wrong so she did was she needed to do and it helped great deal for me to get more it reality than I wasn’t in. Hell, I am still trying to get back into a hundred percent reality. Not sure why I am fighting so hard with the dissociation right now. I just want to enjoy the nice Seattle weather by taking a walk. I have done some mindfulness and meditation practices since I am hope and it is not help all that much at the moment. My cat is helping a great deal. Just focusing on her, my cat is quite helpful.

Now, I am just going to play some music and do some art. I will also play my flute. When I play my flute and/or do art, it helps me get out what I need to so I am able to be fully in reality and not in a dissociative state. Art and music always help. I might do some art outside since it is a beautiful weather day here in Seattle. I just cant go for a walk or I could forget how to get home and I don’t want that so that’s why I’m going to do art on this beautiful sunny day in Seattle in the community porch for the people who live in my apartment building.

Of course I will be spending more time with my cat, Lil Gertie, as she appears to know how to help me when I am in a dissociative state. She is an amazing cat that has helped me a great deal with when I am in a true dissocive  state like I am now. I really don’t let myself go when I am writing. I guess now people can see how hard it is for me.

I am thinking I am needing to end this post so I can do my art and spend time with my cat. Have a great Monday everyone.I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading my blog. Peace Out, World

A Sunny Monday In Seattle

Happy Monday and Good Morning, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. Sadly, I have also realized that at this point in time I am not blog on average of three times a week as I had stated in a New Years goal I want to accomplish for 2019. I, say an average of three times a week as life happens and I might not be able to write multiple times a week. Even though it is two days before May Day (May 1st), I can still accomplish the goal of blogging an average of three times a week this year as the year isn’t even half over yet.

Since we are on the topic of not blogging I do have a legitimate excuse for not blogging for nearly a week. Long story short I live in a “secure building” and as I was unlocking my door to my apartment someone came up from behind me from a stairwell hardly nobody uses and shove me into my apartment. While in my apartment, the person physically assaulted me and I personally thing he would have sexually assaulted me if given the chance as he attempted to pull down the pants I had on at the time. I started screaming and at this time from my understanding two neighbors called 911. One of the neighbors who called 911 then knocked on my door which scared the person physically assaulting me and the dude went running down the hall. This is when I called 911. I did inform the 911 dispatcher that I needed medical attention as I was hit in the head with a hammer. The dispatcher kept me on the phone till the fire department came to my door. The firefighters asked where the police were and I said “I have no clue” and they then radioed their dispatcher asking for Seattle Police to come to the scene. Long story short, it took Seattle Police officer 45 minutes from the first 911 call to finally show up. The police figure printed my door and the fire department took me to the closest hospital for treatment. I have a concussion.

Due to the concussion I have been laying low and doing a lot of self care. Self care that include a lot of things, one of which involve an art class I signed up for that is free for folks who are involved with certain programs. I, signed up for an art class called “Beginning Comics Storytelling” and it started last Friday (April 26th). I really think I am going to enjoy it. I am grateful that it is free and that I qualify for taking it. I am looking forward what I am going to learn in this class.

I have also done many other things to do self care which I may or may not discuss in another post as staring at my laptop screen is causing me to get another headache due to the concussion I have from the assault I experienced last week. Headaches suck shit but headaches due to a concussion suck shit even more.

I am going to go for now. The weather is wonderful today in Seattle and I want to enjoy it for multiple reasons. Plus, it is a great form of self care to enjoy the sun. I love when the Seattle weather is awesome like today.

I hope everyone has a great day. I also want to thank you all for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things and hope you all continue to read my blog. I hope everyone has a good work week. Peace Out, World!!!

A Lazy Type of Day

Good Evening, World!!! It has been a relaxing Monday. I haven’t really been productive today except with getting my meds and some wet cat food for my cat, Lil Gertie. Other than the two errands I did, I pretty much have been lazy today. It’s been a pretty lazy day because I really didn’t have much to do and the weather here in Seattle has pretty much sucked most of the day. It is nothing uncommon for Seattle’s weather to suck in early spring like today.

I have spent most of the day including now as I write this post is having some scented candles burning. This has been quite soothing to me today because the symptoms of my mental health symptoms have been high. For some reason it helps calm down the symptoms.

Another thing that I have spent most of the day doing is listening to music. There is something about music that soothes both the mind and the soul. Music is also something you can have on in the background doing other things.

As I was listening to music like I am now, I was also coloring. Coloring helps me be mindful of the current moment. Being mindful of the current moment is something that is greatly needed when things aren’t exactly going they way you want or need them to be. For me coloring helps with that.

While coloring my cat interrupted me on several occasions. It was obvious that she was doing her typical cat thing of wanting to “help.” So, when she wanted to “help,” I gave her the attention she was wanting and appeared content for another hour or two. I love my cat, Lil Gertie, so much.

Since I pretty much colored most of the day, I am going to read this evening once I am done writing this post. I love reading and it seems like an appropriate way to end to the a nice relaxing and lazy day. I really love reading. Reading helps me go to places, I would otherwise not be able to go. It also helps with my imagination which helps me forget my own problems and issues. Of course as I read, I will continue to have the music on and the scented candle burning and maybe my cat, Lil Gertie, will be willing to cuddle up with me as I read.

I don’t have much more to say. Thank you so much for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a good rest of their Monday evening. Peace Out, World!!!

Weekly Check In

Good Afternoon, World!!! I realize it has been a week since I last blogged. I did attempt to post and have plenty of unfinished post to prove that I did attempt to do so. I honestly don’t have any excuses to why didn’t finish the post I started.

I guess I will make this post my weekly check in as I was planning to tell you what my week was like anyway. I guess, I will start with Monday. Monday, I went to my doctors appointment and had my annual wellness check done. It was not a fun experience like always because of my trauma history. Anyway, my doctor wants me to get an ultrasound done because my uterus is enlarged and no I am not pregnant. She did a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn’t even though I already knew due to not being sexually active for well over a year. So, I am waiting on my insurance to “approve” the ultrasound. I am also waiting for insurance to “approve” me for a mammogram even though I am now forty and “shouldn’t need approval” according to the paperwork I have from them but hey we all need to go through this stupid red tape from time to time.

Tuesday, I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner for a med review and that went well. She increased my Ambien to ten milligrams. We briefly discussed how things were going and I was honest with her and informed her about my doctor’s appointment. She thanked me for updating her on my physical health issues.

I also saw my therapist on Tuesday and we ended up discussing a great deal about my annual wellness check up. We discussed this as it was quite triggering to me due to my severe and lengthy trauma history. We also discussed about needing an ultrasound and being “of age” for a mammogram and the emotions that go with all of it. He also brought up the fact that a program called “Path with Art” registration is open for spring classes as he knows I love to do art and be creative as well as trying to build structure to help with my recovery.

Thursday, I went and saw my denturist to get them realigned and adjusted. It went pretty well except my grandpa got upset with the denturist due to the fact the he asked the denturist why I was telling him (my grandpa) that I shouldn’t wear my dentures at night. The denturist explained at length why not. My grandpa was not all that happy with the answer because my grandpa has been wearing his dentures at night for years. My grandpa also brought up some concerns that he and I both had and the denturist put our minds at ease. I am grateful that my grandpa paid for my dentures.

I also saw my therapist for a second time in the same week on Thursday. We discussed shit that was going on in regards to PTSD and anxiety. We also once again discussed signing up for “Path with Art” which I did later in the evening.

In fact when I signed up for Path with Art, I found out I could only take one class which sucks but I understand as it is free and geared toward folks in certain programs/agencies. Part of the registration is to give them your top three choices. My first choice is how to tell a story through comics and I feel like this was (and is) the best first choice for me as I love comics. I hope I get into this particular class as I really want to learn more about comics.

Another thing that happened Thursday was my boss texted me to see if I could work today (Saturday) and I informed him I couldn’t. He said okay and wants to do a one on one supervision with me this coming Wednesday due to not taking shift the last couple of months which I understand why he wants to do it. I am a little fearful that I will be let go but I don’t think that is the case as my employer appears to be cool from my experience and my supervisor did say we were going to talk about availability for his on calls. Plus, if I am to be let go even though it doesn’t seem all that likely at the moment, I will accept the fact about being let go due to the fact of not taking any shifts so in essence, I will be taking responsibility for my own actions.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the potential of being fired but it would be my own fault due to not taking any shifts when I was asked if I could do them. But like I said I don’t think that will be the case as I think they will just give me some kind of warning if it continues and like my supervisor said we will be discussing availability.  Also if it was something more official like being terminated, I am sure he would have sent me an email instead of a text.

I honestly don’t have much more to say except that the weather in Seattle currently sucks. It is windy and rainy outside. It is the type of day to stay inside and read type of day. Or maybe even a binge watch type of day. I most likely will be reading. I really love to read.

I want to thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. If it wasn’t for you my reader, I don’t think I would continue to blog even though I do enjoy blogging. Again, thank you for reading my blog. I hope everyone has a great day. Peace Out, World!!!

Yucky Weather + Nothing to Do = Lazy Weekend, Reading

Good Afternoon, World!!! Well, it is another weekend and I have realized it has been four days since I last blog and I apologize for that. I don’t really have any reasons or excuses of not blogging except, I really didn’t feel like it for some reason.

Well, as many of you if not all of you know, it is the weekend. What many of you may not know is that the weather people here in Seattle keep saying we are suppose to have a couple of spring storms this weekend. Storms that are suppose to bring strong winds, pouring down rain and possible power outages due to strong winds. I can tell you right now from looking out my window that the wind is blowing due to the trees moving but it is not raining even though the clouds in the distance look ominous.

Due the so called spring storms coming, I’ll be a bit on the lazy side this weekend. Specifically, I will be doing quite a bit of reading. I will be reading Yesternight by Cat Winters. Hopefully, I will be able to finish it this weekend. I am really enjoying the a book immensely. I highly recommend the book. I will also be reading comic books; specifically, Wonder Woman.

I really do not have much else to say. Thank you for reading my blog. It is greatly appreciated from my end of things. I hope everyone has a great weekend and is able to enjoy whatever you may doing. Peace Out, World!!!