Monthly Archives: September 2015

Blogging 201; Day Nine: The Buddy System

Posted on by Gertie

It is hard to believe that today is day nine of Blogging 201. Only one more day left and am a little sad. Todays assignment is to build a “buddy system.” This is something I have been trying to build even before taking any of the WordPress courses. In all honesty it would be helpful to have five or six solid blogging buddies. I say this because not everyone is going to be around one hundred percent of the time and it will be nice to have a choice of guest writers on my blog from time to time. I’ve been wanting to have guest bloggers for a while now. I just have to figure out how to do the guest blogger thing here on WordPress. I know I will figure it you. If you want to be a blogging buddy with me just email me at Gerties_Journey@outlook.com. Please put in the subject Blogging Buddy or Guest Blogger.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful  Thursday. Peace Out!!!

Writting 101: Finding Your Inspiration; Day Thirteen: Compose a Series of Vignettes

Posted on by Gertie

Sitting in the lobby of my therapist with my legs shaking and tears flowing down my cheeks. The admin assistant brings me my stuffed Eeyore (that my therapist holds on to for me for our sessions) and a box of Kleenex. I whisper “Thank you,” as I think to myself, “everyone must know now. She (the admin assistant) has that pity look.”

*****

Laying on the gurney in the E.R with Junior sitting by my side, holding my hand. The doctor and nurse come into the tiny E.R room with a look on their faces that no future parents want to see. Unfortunately, we have seen that look before. The doctor confirmed the look when she said, “We have to take you immediately to the maternity floor. You are experiencing another miscarriage. You will be having a procedure done called Dilation and Curettage also known as a D & C. With your previous miscarriage and being so far along, we feel it is best that you have a D & C for your health.” As I emotionally shut down, Junior started to shed tears for the loss of our second set of twins.

*****

Tears were finally flowing down my face the moment I stepped into the lobby of my therapist office. I arrived 45 minutes early and was informed by the admin assistant that I would be able to see Diana in 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes were extremely long but when Diana came out me to take me back to the office to have our session, I sobbed. I sobbed out what I needed to the moment I found out I had miscarried again.

*****

To this day, I still shed tears and even sob over the loss of my babies. I cry over both sets of twins I miscarried. Crying in which I find difficult to so. Even though I find  it difficult to cry, I find it therapeutic when I do so especially over the loss of my children.

Daily Prompt: Autumn Leaves

Posted on by Gertie

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Autumn Leaves.” Changing colors, dropping temperatures, pumpkin spice lattes: do these mainstays of Fall fill your heart with warmth — or with dread?

Happy Autumn!!! Today is the first day of Autumn in the United States. It being the first day of Autumn is why I chose to do this (past) daily prompt. Yes, I know I have already blogged today for Blogging 201, which I am enjoying and yet to blog for Writing 101, which I am enjoying as well. I just thought it would be cool to blog about Autumn since it is the first day of Autumn.

I don’t mind early Autumn because of all the beautiful colors it brings. It is mid to late Autumn that I personally dread. I dread Autumn because that is when my depression typically starts to get worse. Don’t get me wrong I struggle with my depression all year, it just gets worse in mid to late Autumn as the days get shorter and as the weather changes from dreary rainy days and to frequent wind storms that love to bring the major rain. I guess you can say my depression is affected by the timing of the year. I don’t just dread mid to late Autumn because of the short days and horrible weather, I also dread winter for the same reason.

Due to the shorter days and not so good weather that Autumn and Winter bring, I make sure I take care of myself. I make sure I have good sleep hygiene. That means go to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning or at least as much as possible. I also go for two daily walks despite how horrible and miserable the weather may be. I also make sure I am eating on the regular basis and making sure I’m eating as healthy as possible. (We all know that late Autumn to mid Winter brings the holidays where eating healthy can be difficult.) Not only do I make sure I get the proper sleep and exercise and eat healthy, I make sure I take my meds as scheduled and go to my appointments with my therapist and psychiatric nurse practitioner. Doing all the above things don’t always make me feel better but at least they wont make me feel worse nor will the above activities make the situation worse.

Not making the situation worse is what works best for me on the dark gloomy days of late Autumn through Winter. For those of us who struggle with a mental illness, just knowing the time of year our symptoms are at their worst is helpful in itself especially if you are at the beginning stages of recovery. It is also helpful for the people in our lives that help us; weather they are professionals or friends and/or family.  Having supportive people is also extremely helpful. I know that the people in life are well aware that mid Autumn to late Autumn through Winter are when I struggle the most with my mental illness.

Now that I have explained why I dread Autumn, it is now time to end this post. I need to work on my Writing 101 assignment and most likely be posting that later on. I need to give my eyes a break for now. Have a great first day of Autumn. Peace Out!!

Blogging 201; Day Eight: Make Your Blog a Hub

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Autumn!!! Today is not only first day of Autumn but the eighth day of Blogging 201. It seems that the assignment I did for today in regards to Blogging 201 disappeared. That means I am redoing it which is annoying as hell.

Todays assignment wants us to do a page to add to our blog in regards to our online presence. For me, I am happy with the presence I have. I am happy with the presence I have since my main goals of my blog are to be an example of what recovery looks like and to educate others to help lessen the stigma that goes to having a mental illness. At the moment my presence on social media is enough.

There is one part I am not happy with in regards to my presence is the amount of followers I have and that is one of the reasons why I have decided to do Blogging 201. Like I said earlier and will reiterate is that the primary goals of my blog is to educate others and be an example of what recovery looks like. I realize that the amount of followers shouldn’t matter but it does matter. It matters because EVERYONE is effected by mental illness in one way another weather they want to admit it or not.

Have a wonderful day. Enjoy the first day of Autumn!! Peace Out!!!

Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration; Day 12: Play With Word Count

Posted on by Gertie

An Untitled Poem

(For now)

by Gertie

You don’t look like me.

You don’t act like me.

You may have a mental illness like me

but why should

our recovery look the same.

Its not one size fits all.

We are different;

so is our road to recovery.

Don’t judge mine.

Blogging 201; Day Seven: Make the Most of Events

Posted on by Gertie

Today is the seventh day of Blogging 201. For todays assignment we are suppose to make the most of blogging events. In fact I have been thinking a great deal about doing a blogging event since I took Blogging 101 back in July of this year. I want to start one but not sure if I want it to be a regular on going event or an event that only last one or two times. I also don’t know what type of event I want to hold. It is something that I will figure out and when I do, I will inform you my reader know. If you have any ideas on what type of event you would like to be part of please let me know in the comment section of this post.

Thank you for taking your time in reading my blog. It is much appreciated. Have a wonderful day. Peace out!!!

Daily Prompt: We Got The Beat

Posted on by Gertie

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “We Got the Beat.” Have you ever played in a band? Tell us all about that experience of making music with friends. If you’ve never been in a band, imagine you’re forming a band with some good friends. What instrument do you play in the band and why? What sort of music will you play?

In fact I have been in a band. I was in marching band as well as concert band in junior high and high school. I played the flute throughout my school years. My years in the school band were quite positive and therapeutic for me.

Being in the school band not only kept from dropping out but helped me with much need social interactions with others in my own peer group. I tended to have friends much older than me so band greatly helped me with making friends my own age. Being able to make music with others was (and is) an amazing experience. Being able to hear how a particular piece can come together gives a sense of accomplishment that other things can not do.

It is that sense of accomplishment that helped me make friends as well as stay as relatively “normal” as possible. Playing a musical instrument helped my mental health symptoms a great deal. Being able to focus on something other than the urges to harm myself. Playing the flute was quite therapeutic for me throughout junior high and high school. In fact it still is.

Now that I am an adult, I still play on occasion. I also am teaching myself to play the harmonica. There is something to be said about playing a musical instrument especially with other people. I am still close friends with many of the people I was in school band with. Once a band buddy  always a band buddy.

Now that I’ve bored you, it is time for me to get ready for work. I will be doing my Blogging 201 assignment on my lunch and my Writing 101 assignment when I get home from work. Have a wonderful last day of summer. Peace Out!!!!

Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration; Day Eleven: Writing and Not Writing

Posted on by Gertie

Todays, Writing 101 assignment is what I basically do when I am not writing or what I do in my “day-to-day” life. To tell you the truth, my day-to-day life is pretty boring.

Like most everyone else in the world, I work. I work at a mental health agency part time as a Consumer Aide. I also volunteer at two different places; one is a peer run Warm Line (which is a conversational line) and the other is at young adult (18-25) homeless shelter. I spend a lot of time with my fiancé, Junior. I tend to hang out with friends as our schedules allow. I attend sporting events and concerts. I also read.  Most importantly I make sure that I do what I need to do to stay in recovery.

For me recovery is the biggest and most important thing I can do to keep myself balanced. My recovery is a one day at time thing and sometimes a one moment at a time thing. To stay in recovery, I eat on the regular basis, take my meds, exercise, see my therapist regularly, see my psychiatric nurse practitioner regularly and just have fun.

Now that you know how I keep a balanced life outside of writing/blogging, I am going to go spend some much needed time with Junior. We are going to have some cuddle time. Have a wonderful evening. Peace Out!!!

Blogging 201; Day Six: Dig Deep into a Social Network

Posted on by Gertie

It is day six of Blogging 201. If I understand the assignment correctly, it is asking to broaden our brand by adding social media sites. I’m already on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. I thought about doing a Facebook page for my blog but since I have a separate account for my blog I have decided against it at the moment. I just don’t have the time or energy to do so at the moment. When I have more time I will reconsider the idea. It’s not just about the time or energy, it is also about the drama that seems to go on when it comes to Facebook and Twitter, especially Facebook. I haven’t experienced drama on LinkedIn or WordPress and that is a good thing. I’m not big into drama.

With all that being said, my lunch is almost over. I hope you all continue to have a wonderful Monday. Enjoy your work week. Peace Out!!!!

Weekly Goals

Posted on by Gertie

Happy Monday!!! It’s the start of another work week and as always am looking forward to it. This past week I had a number of goals to accomplish. Like always I will share with you how I did with accomplishing them, then share with you this weeks goals. This how did with last weeks goals.

1)  Read Speaker of the Dead by Orson Scott Card. Yes, I did read this week. It was a much need escape from all the difficult work with therapy and trainings I did.

2)  Work on jigsaw puzzle.  I spent time on the puzzle. It was another positive way to do self-care and escape.

3)  Color. I did a great deal of coloring. I colored for the same reasons I read and worked on the jigsaw puzzle.

4)  Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration. Most definitely accomplished this goal. I do have to say Day Nine’s assignment was quite difficult for me. I am enjoying the course immensely.

5)  Start Blogging 201: Branding and Growth. Yup, I started Blogging 201. Like I expected, I am enjoying it. Cant wait to see what I learn this next week.

6)  Attend Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST). I really enjoyed attending the training. It was an intense and tough training to attend but well worth being able to attend.

7)  Work on a self-help workbook; The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, PhD., Jeffery C. Wood, PSY.D., and Jeffrey Brantley, MD. This goal was extremely helpful this week. It helped me remember all this DBT skills I learned in the past and am relearning doing this workbook.

8)  See my psychiatric ARNP today. Yes, I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner. We discussed how Autumn and Winter are difficult on me in regards to my depression and how we can make sure I don’t need an increase in my anti-depressant unless needed.

9)  See my therapist, Diana, on Friday. Yes, I did see Diana. We discussed how the ASIST training was triggering as well as some intense trauma history stuff. As difficult as it was discussing some of my trauma history with Diana, I felt a sense of relief talking about it. (SIDE NOTE: Diana is a pseudonym for my therapist. It is for the protection of her past, current and future clients as well for her privacy.)

I am really proud of myself for accomplishing my weekly goals for last week. They wear extremely difficult to do, due to not having much time or being emotionally difficult and draining to do them. Now on to this weeks goals.

1)  Read Speaker of the Dead by Orson Scott Card. This is a no brainer. Hopefully, I will be finished with the book soon.

2)  Work on jigsaw puzzle. Another no brainer goal. This particular jigsaw puzzle is 1500 pieces, so it will take some time to finish it.

3)  Color. For me coloring helps me a great deal. It allows me to connect with my inner child.

4)  Writing 101: Finding Your Inspiration. I am really enjoying this course. This course is helping find inspiration in everyday things to blog about.

5)  Blogging 201: Branding and Growth. I am grateful for what I am learning through Blogging 201. It’s hard to believe this is the last week of the two week course. I wish it was longer.

6)  Work on a self-help workbook; The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, PhD., Jeffery C. Wood, PSY.D., and Jeffrey Brantley, MD. As you can tell this is going to be my goal for a while. This will be goal of mine till I am finished the workbook.

My goals for this next week are being kept simple since last weeks goals were emotionally draining. I need to get ready for work but before I go, I want to give a shout out to: http://greenembe.rs/2015/09/21/building-rome-week-38-for-2015/ because I am a part of his weekly blogging event. Have a wonderful work week. Peace out!!